Re: Let me be the first to blindly recommend...

1

It takes a mighty blogger to stomp on a rare Apo post.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:15 AM
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Those are some damn fancy feet you have there, ma'am.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:18 AM
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3

I think you're saying that I titty-smashed your post?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:20 AM
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I'm not entirely certain. It was very dark.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:22 AM
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Well, no one wants to picture an ass-print on their mashed potatoes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:26 AM
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I have no trouble believing that the experience was not a pinnacle of fine dining, but most of their criticism seems to stem from the fact that they had a panic attack from being in a dark room. Have they never been in a dark room before? How did they not expect that? Do normal adults freak out about being in a dark room?


Posted by: F | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:30 AM
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This gravy tastes terrible.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:33 AM
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You think that's bad, I got a silly putty pez dispenser for my next course.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:36 AM
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9

It's always nice to remember how dirty threads used to be. Oh, Ogged, we miss you.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:49 AM
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10

Tl; only skimmed part of it. Why were there lockers in the basement? You can't bring your stuff? You get naked?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:51 AM
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11

Via a comment elsewhere, futurist dining.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:55 AM
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11: "Between each dish the guests finger the pajamas of their dinner partner."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:57 AM
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13

Smearcase and I went to a bar last night that was called "noir," all lowercase, but they had run vertical lines touching the right side of each letter so it looked like "nair."


Posted by: Bave | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 10:56 AM
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We're getting a coffee shop on campus! Equivalently, Sad Town is getting it's first coffee shop! Although it does have a sandwich shop cafe, driving distance away from Heebie U.

|>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 10:59 AM
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13: Were people there wearing short shorts?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:01 AM
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Keep in mind that Sad Town has 50K people. It's not 3K around a small college. Yet no coffee shop!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:12 AM
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EaterGM: And behind you, there was a table of 11 guys that were getting tanked in the dark dining room.

EaterAK: Yes, there was a birthday party there, which I am having a hard time understanding.

I'm having a lot easier time understanding getting tanked in a novel location for a birthday party than I do going to a dark restaurant for a meal and having panic attacks because it's dark. The restaurant could of course still be shitty.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:15 AM
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I think I would be plenty annoyed with pitch black after about ten minutes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:17 AM
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I'm pretty sure I would have a panic attack in a super noisy, pitch black space where I couldn't figure out what was going on. Getting served food I couldn't see would only make it worse.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:24 AM
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20

You can't see grain in the dark.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:27 AM
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21

Also the whole "stick your fingers in your water when you pour a glass" and "I lost my fork after two minutes" and, presumably, "Oh look, I dribbled a ton of food down a shirt I like" sounds incredibly annoying.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:31 AM
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You can't see shit in the dark.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:31 AM
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23

21.last: But see, this where the naked thing would work. With a big hose off room.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:33 AM
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I would no more go into a restaurant like that than I would eat vegan food at Arby's.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:35 AM
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With a big hose off room.

"I know it's still dark. I promise that's a hose."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:37 AM
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I think I would be plenty annoyed with pitch black after about ten minutes.

Annoyed, sure. Especially with the noise. But: "the only thing that got us through there was just blind faith that we weren't going to die"? No way.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:37 AM
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24: Fries?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:37 AM
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Actually, it's fascinating! I have light switches in every room of my house, and could choose to turn off the lights during dinner, if I chose! But I don't.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:38 AM
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27: They're curly and I don't trust curly potatoes.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:39 AM
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I have light switches in every room of my house, and could choose to turn off the lights during dinner, if I chose

The level of privilege here is simply disgusting.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:57 AM
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27: They're curly and I don't trust curly potatoes.

Well, you definitely shouldn't trust the curlies in the dark, either.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:01 PM
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32

The noise and poor ventilation would be the anxiety triggers for me; the darkness might just put me over the edge.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:10 PM
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33

Also the whole "stick your fingers in your water when you pour a glass" and "I lost my fork after two minutes" and, presumably, "Oh look, I dribbled a ton of food down a shirt I like" sounds incredibly annoying.

It sounds like a combo between the people not really being up for the experience and the restaurant not doing a great job of making things comfortable. I've eaten at a dark restaurant before, but they didn't make you sit at a table with people you didn't know, and the waitstaff were really great, letting you know where they were, how to get around, what to do if you got freaked out and needed to get out for a minute. You're likely to get food on yourself, but that's part of the fun. You might lose your fork, but a waiter should be there to give you a new one.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:13 PM
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There was poor ventilation at the one where I ate, but it was in Germany in the summer, so that's basically a given. An entire nation that doesn't believe in fans.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:14 PM
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35

||
When someone in a job interview asks me what my greatest weakness is, I want to say "I'm a rapist." It's just the most inane question imaginable and the best your answer can do is show that you've read a book about how to ace a job interview.
|>


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:14 PM
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35: We all know that your greatest weakness is that you care too much and try too hard!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:16 PM
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37

35: "I care too much about making the lives of shitty interviewers better."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:17 PM
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38

How about in a comedic German accent: "My greatest veakness? I don't believe in fahnz."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:18 PM
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39

Well how the pwn


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:18 PM
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35: TFA


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:18 PM
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35: True fact: That is how they finally caught Ted Bundy.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:18 PM
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42

What if you accidentally dropped your fork down your pants?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:18 PM
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43

42 to 33, obliquely 35.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:19 PM
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35: Archives.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:20 PM
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45

Now that's some serious pwnage.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:21 PM
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46

35: "I have a hard time pretending to take inane questions seriously."


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:21 PM
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47

"I believe that pain is weakness leaving the body, so let me turn that around: how much pain can I convince you to inflict on me, right now?'


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:22 PM
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48

"RTFA"


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:24 PM
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49

Definitely the next meetup spot.


Posted by: Asteele | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:29 PM
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50

Although I think everyone has to go in alone, sit with strangers, and then somehow post to a common comment thread during the dinner.


Posted by: Asteele | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:30 PM
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51

Out of curiosity, how is alcohol regulated? My few visits to Texas introduced me to a dry county, so that people drive for half an hour to go out to drink and then drive home. MADD is against drinking rather than aginst drunk driving


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:34 PM
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I think 6 people randomly yelling, "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" from different places in the restaurant might well serve to put some of the patrons over the edge into a real panic attack.

"Marco!"/"Polo!" would be the PG-rated version I guess.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 12:40 PM
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"Marco!"/"Polo!"

"Who wants to sex Mutombo?"/"Titties, hooray!"


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 1:01 PM
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Sad Town is getting it's first coffee shop

Oh, heebie.

I didn't read the article but isn't the pitch-black restaurant thing where all the staff is blind (is that what that is?) a known thing? There's one in "Yrp" called Unsichtbar, IIRC.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 1:23 PM
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55

Oh, I see what I did there.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 1:23 PM
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There's also a thing called Dialog in the Dark; I think it's been in some U.S. cities by now. Everyone in the group gets canes and a blind guide leads you around through various scenarios: going into a store, crossing a street, encountering people and things and animals on the sidewalk. I found it somewhat silly, since nothing is as dangerous or high stakes as it would be in real life -- you're not going to get run over by the car, or bitten by the dog. But the final setting was a bar, and you could sit in there as long as you wanted, and buy beers and talk to the bartender and other patrons. That part was cool.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 1:36 PM
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56: There's this thing that sounds a little like that only scarier -- you know, usually only open around Halloween.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 1:51 PM
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57: somebody had a bad experience at the temporary costume store.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 1:56 PM
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Sad Town is getting it's first coffee shop

It's only marginally related, but have any of you texans seen Bernie? It's built around documentary interviews with the townspeople of Carthage in East Texas, and there's some hilarious Texas folk ethnography.

One patron gives a breakdown of the five-to-seven different Texases -- Austin, hippie freaks and hairy-legged women; the forgettable Panhandle; the Carcinogenic Coast; snobby Dallas; West Texas, full of ranches; and East Texas, behind the pine curtain where the old South begins. (I may be forgetting one. Houston, maybe.)

Then at the end, when the trial gets moved from Carthage to Saint Augustine, the same interviewee can't stop talking about how the defendant doesn't stand a chance against the trailer trash in St. Augustine. "Let's dig a hole in the backyard and cook something, throw another tire on the fire." The "cousin-marrying" jury has "more tattoos than teeth." Etc.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 2:12 PM
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57: Is it a Bradbury Halloween story where they're passing around "entrails" and "eyeballs" in the dark?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 2:14 PM
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61

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I had my Dad mail a "deposit" to an assisted living facility by guaranteed delivery. On the day it was supposed to arrive it said at 10:40 AM that it was out for delivery. Then I went back and said it had been delivered in that neighborhood of the city but did not give a specific address. I called the Post Office, and they are opening a case.

The things is that the Assisted living facility (ALF) didnt respond to my follow up e-mail giving them the delivery confirmation and asking for a packet. (I don't expect the latter to have arrived, if sent, before today.) My BF also sent an e-mail this morning to the director asking for confirmation of delivery and has heard nothing. This place is the closest thing to perfection that we are likely to find. My BF is freaking out that we didn't get my Dad to send the check which is a cashier's check by express mail with a signature. I think that there are a ton of reasonable reasons why he might not be responding yet. Last Friday, he responded within minutes, so it seems slightly odd. My boyfriend is freaking out, because he thinks that we'll lose the apartment.

I'm not happy but don't think that I should be in panic mode. What do you all think?

|>


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 2:24 PM
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62

I haven't read much past comment 23, but this Dans Le Noir is just hilarious. Giggle fits are unseemly, though.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 5:27 PM
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I had no idea that this dark restaurant thing was a thing.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 5:30 PM
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My parents are insisting that I see Bernie but 1) Jack Black is anathema and 2) the last thing they insisted I see was A Serious Man (like they walked out of the movie theater and turned to each other and said "you know who has to see this?") and I was pretty indiff.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 8:53 PM
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Until I read this article, I thought my vision of a "brown-note diner" -- where patrons paid a hundred dollars a head to eat small serving of fusion-cuisine bean dishes while having disturbing subsonics played at them at loud volumes -- was a pipe dream. But this tears it. The "brown-note dining experience" is coming for you, America. You heard it here first (and next on Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares, which I figure will only boost our business further).


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 8:53 PM
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66

Can something subsonic be played at a loud volume?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 8:56 PM
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67

I enjoyed A Serious Man.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 8:57 PM
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68

WHO'S JEWIER NOW, HUH??


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 8:57 PM
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Can something subsonic be played at a loud volume?

WOOF!


Posted by: Dog | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:00 PM
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66: Why not? That volume isn't perceptible to normal human hearing doesn't mean it isn't volume.


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:01 PM
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71

Hmph.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:03 PM
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72

There is an extremely loud bird deterrent sound made by our library that I can hear from blocks away, but when I mentioned it to the librarian, she followed me outside and couldn't hear a thing. It's torture. Screeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Posted by: awb | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:19 PM
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She can hear it, awb. The librarian is gas-lighting you. The whole town is in on it. Screeeeeeeeeeeee!


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:22 PM
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So the library is autonomically bird-deterring, like something out of a hard SF novel? The next line of defenses is shooting nanotech darts loaded with genetically engineered bird virus?


Posted by: Bave | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:23 PM
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This is like teo's nightmare. The only natural allies are the birds themselves.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:31 PM
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My assumption is that the lockers serve at least two purposes: a place to put one's belongings so no one grabs the wrong purse in the dark and a place to make everyone put their phone so no one uses them as flashlights.

I respect the engineering foresight involved in that and I'm of course fine with people setting up arbitrary experiences to see what they're like but it's a stupid concept being poorly executed. If they're getting $100/plate and the place includes tables of eleven getting hammered they can afford some night-vision goggles for the staff. If they want to disconnect the customer from the experience of sight they should emphasize it by enabling sight for those who are their guides as a contrast. A waitress who clangs a plate down on the table because she can't see doesn't do anything but startle the patron whereas having the experience glide more or less seamlessly around one's own self seems like it would be creepy in a way I would find much more interesting.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 9:53 PM
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This is like teo's nightmare.

Say what? I'm all in favor of deterring birds.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-14-12 11:18 PM
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78

Laydeez. No, wait...


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 12:36 AM
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No, that would be pretty much in line with my usual romantic strategies.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 12:46 AM
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80

I think I mentioned the time I was asked what was my greatest weakness and what did I plan to do about it, and I said my greatest weakness was robbing banks and I planned to try and stop.

The interview didn't go much further because the person from HR was having hysterical giggles and somebody had to go and get her a glass of water.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 2:40 AM
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Heh. Robbing banks, AND being a perfectionist.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 2:54 AM
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82

||

Ecuador has granted Assange asylum. Pass the popcorn.

|>


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 5:32 AM
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72: If you can learn to speak at that frequency, then you have a pretty good way of communicating secretly with those like you, in the presence of the uninitiated.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 5:34 AM
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Ecuador has granted Assange asylum.

Here's how it went down.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 5:35 AM
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85

Shit, that version cuts off. Now you know... the rest of the story.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 5:38 AM
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82

Ecuador has granted Assange asylum. Pass the popcorn.

There seems to be some question about that. Not clear how much good it would do him anyway unless he is happy living in the embassy for the rest of his life. Too bad about the supporters who put up his bond though.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 6:10 AM
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Ecuador looks nicely bouncy.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 6:28 AM
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73: She can hear it, awb. The librarian is gas-lighting you. The whole town is in on it. Screeeeeeeeeeeee!

Or alternatively, Run away! (Or at least don't go into any underground chambers.) Only the Eloi can hear the sound.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-15-12 9:03 AM
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