Re: Pastries

1

chocolate eclairs on the house.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:06 PM
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They're going to get all melty up there.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:07 PM
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they melt by design.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:10 PM
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A scone shouldn't taste like dessert at all. A little sweet, but mostly a biscuit.

Has the weather changed in Texas to the point where baking wouldn't be insanely unpleasant?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:16 PM
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This is going to be one of those US-vs-UK threads, isn't it?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:18 PM
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It did on Sunday! It was amazing. Now it has changed back, but only in the 80s. One could bake (if one could bake).


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:18 PM
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No true scone has chocolate chips.

(I look forward to the comments from knife-crime island.)


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:19 PM
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Everything deserves chocolate chips.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:22 PM
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9

I have definitely never had a scone that seemed like a dessert. That sounds sort of gross.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:23 PM
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Jeez you all. Starbucks exists and has dessert-scones and they're not natural but they're loaded up with fat and sugar and coated with icing and they look delicious.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:24 PM
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11

Coated with icing? Yikes!?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:25 PM
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12

Not like a cake, but like a toaster strudel.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:25 PM
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13

I've heard those scones go straight to the butt.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:26 PM
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I keep being sure you've made this sound as unappetizing as possible, but then you take it to the next level. Are they filled with orange circus peanuts?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:26 PM
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I've had real scones! And they are better and authentic and blah blah blah. I'm just saying the perverted dessert version is still tasty.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:26 PM
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16

Or they've sometimes got a coating of sugar crystals.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:28 PM
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17

Starbucks scones.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:29 PM
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18

13 to the porn thread.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:31 PM
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19

Starbucks scones.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:31 PM
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20

I've heard tell you can cook eight or nine in the same oven.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:31 PM
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21

19 is kind of gross. Probably just look at the link rather than clicking it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:31 PM
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22

wait, this isn't the porn thread?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:32 PM
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23

Imagine there's no muffins
I wonder if you can
No scones or puffy bread rolls
No more poison bran

Imagine all the people, living life with kale!!!

HEY

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you'll eat cow fat, and the world will be awesome.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:33 PM
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Sugar crystals isn't outside my experience as a scone topping. But icing is weird. I wonder why Starbucks calls those scones instead of... okay, I'm not sure what I'd call them. Cakes, but I wouldn't normally call things cakes unless they were, you know, layer cakes. Pastries, I guess.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:34 PM
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19 to 24.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:35 PM
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Paleo makes sense when you're talking about living a cripplingly restricted diet, but when you talk about tasty treats, it falls apart.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:36 PM
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I wonder why Starbucks calls those scones instead of...

Because they're triangular!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:36 PM
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28

I have had scones with a glaze/icing sort of topping. They were maple-flavored and had some kind of nuts in them.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:39 PM
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I like a lot of greens, but I just don't share the general kale love. Fully cooked braised kale is perfectly okay, though I'd probably rather have chard or turnip greens or something. But kale chips and kale salad both leave me cold.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:40 PM
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Lots of things are triangular. Apple turnovers are triangular.

And I have nothing against individual pieces of cake -- I bow to none in my ability to shovel fatty sugary things down my gullet. I was just surprised at using the word 'scone' for them.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:40 PM
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The coffeeshop across from my office has fruit scones that look like they'd be delightful, but they turn out to be soggy and gross. But their chocolate croissants make up for it.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:40 PM
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I have had scones with a glaze/icing sort of topping.

At this point I don't even remember the last time I saw a scone that didn't have a glaze or icing or giant chunks of sugar on it.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:40 PM
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I can't keep kale in the house. I'll just eat it all in one sitting. It's worse than alcohol or chocolate. I am probably anemic or something.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:41 PM
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34

The texture is slightly more biscuity and crumbly than their cakes are, too, I think.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:41 PM
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35

Let's see, is the thread made up of people acting as if the OP is unclear, by way of bemoaning how some atrocious mass-market places in the backward parts of America call things "scones" that are not really scones according to the age-old tradition of the word?

Yes it is!


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:42 PM
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So far am I from being snide about what real scones should be like, the only reason I didn't realize scones had turned into cake is that I mostly don't buy them because I'm not wild about what I think of as authentic scones either.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:42 PM
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37

the only reason I didn't realize scones had turned into cake

They haven't. The texture is still way different than cake.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:43 PM
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38

Right. They've just turned to dessert.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:44 PM
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39

36 written before I saw 35, but works as a defensive response thereto.

But seriously, I have a sense of what a good old-style scone is supposed to taste like -- not my favorite thing, but basically a crumbly biscuit rather than the more layered kind. Maybe raisins or currants, a little bit sweet but not very.

What's a good new-style scone that Starbucks isn't delivering for you?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:45 PM
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40

So, like a breadier coffee-cake, maybe? Firmer and breadier than cake, but at that level of sweet?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:46 PM
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41

Now I really want some lily-white biscuits with butter and honey.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:47 PM
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42

Less sweet than coffee cake, but with chocolate chips added.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:47 PM
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43

Probably close-ish to original sweetness, actually, pre-icing/chocolate chips/etc. Because Starbucks and these places do also sell savory scones.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:48 PM
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I like donuts. Assemble as many as possible in my friend's house and I'll eat them all on the bed while he watches Princess Mononoke and gets high.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:48 PM
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45

Not moist like cake. It's hard to compare the sweetness of a heavy, bready sweet thing and a cakey thing that is made heavy and dense with more moisture.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:48 PM
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46

This is probably the right thread to say good things about Mark Bittman's banana bread recipe. Nothing terribly exciting, but if you've got three overripe bananas around, reliable and tasty.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:49 PM
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47

I think of scone/biscuit type things as getting stale really really fast -- like, once they're actually cold, they're getting stale immediately. Maybe that's what's wrong with the ones you've been buying: they've been sitting long enough that the scone itself is getting stale.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:51 PM
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48

It would be terribly exciting if you put chocolate chips in it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:51 PM
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49

One could bake (if one could bake).

This looks tasty, simple, and like it could satisfy the desire for a treat.

Personally, I've been having good luck with my applesauce bread this fall. The two batches I've made so far have both been very tasty. I've pushed it in the direction of dessert by adding dried pluots and chunked dark chocolate -- which goes quite nicely with the fruit flavors..


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:52 PM
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I predict that the word "biscuit" might cause troubles here too.

That said, American-style biscuits are great. But, thanks to Alameida, they will now have secondary associations that I DID NOT WANT.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:52 PM
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I think it's more that they were made not on the premises, knowing they had to last, so they were loaded up oil and other un-scone-like things.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:52 PM
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Banana bread with chocolate chips is really good. I haven't made it lately, but it's delicious. That's the one thing where the tiny chocolate chips are better -- you want it kind of speckled with chocolate rather than with full-chip size lumps.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:53 PM
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53

Speaking of Mark Bittman, they should not let him write full-length columns that are not about how to cook things.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:54 PM
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54

Did he say something stupid about something?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:54 PM
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55

That said, American-style biscuits are great.

They are! Fuck, now I want a biscuit.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:55 PM
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56

Now I want a bunch of kale.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:55 PM
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57

Thought experiment.

American biscuits with chocolate chips. Yea or Nay?


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:55 PM
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58

Nay for me.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 1:58 PM
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59

IME all baked goods from Starbucks are awful - too sweet, too greasy, and with virtually no effort put towards their texture.

That said, I have no idea what Sifu is getting at in 9 and following - he seems to have confused the word "scone" with the word "sausage" or something. Scones are commonly made with dried and fresh fruit; is there some world in which the set of "pastry made with fruit" doesn't intersect with the set "dessert"? They tend to be less sweet in Britain, but there they tend to be served with rich cream; is that also not dessert-like?

Anyway, I've seen several scone recipes that declare the key to be freezing butter sticks and then shredding them, then freezing the shreds. All this to ensure that the butter doesn't melt into the dough during folding, rolling and cutting. And yeah, the texture is biscuit, rather than crumb.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:00 PM
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60

I was just given a pie pumpkin and a few ears of late-season corn.


Posted by: Bave | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:01 PM
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61

Nay for me too.

Odd that I can agree that scones are very close to biscuits. I can agree that scones with chocolate chips are not an impossibility (though I doubt I'd buy one). But, putting the chips in the biscuits—blech!


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:01 PM
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American biscuits with chocolate chips. Yea or Nay?

Bluuuugghhhhh.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:02 PM
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Couple thoughts, from a blue-ribbon winning scone maker.

1. Scones are as easy as any quickbread could be. Kids love baking, and putting together cookies or muffins or scones (same level of difficulty) is worth a good 15 minutes of kid-occupation. I'd go to Smittenkitchen, pick any scone with buttermilk or cream, and make 'em.

2. I'm ambivalent about banana bread in general, but the last batch I made was with frozen bananas. That was especially good. If you're making banana bread anyway, try freezing the bananas first.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:03 PM
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Scones are commonly made with dried and fresh fruit; is there some world in which the set of "pastry made with fruit" doesn't intersect with the set "dessert"? They tend to be less sweet in Britain, but there they tend to be served with rich cream; is that also not dessert-like?

But (old-style scones) are generally served as a freestanding snack, not as a post-meal dessert, and the general experience isn't particularly sweet. I understand that they resemble desserts in the ways you describe, but if someone brought out an old-style scone after a meal I would give them a slantendicular look, suspecting them of pulling a fast one on me.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:04 PM
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American biscuits with chocolate chips. Yea or Nay?

Oh, god no.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:05 PM
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66

freezing butter sticks and then shredding them, then freezing the shreds

If we're getting fancy now, my solution has been to grate the frozen butter with the large side of the cheese grater. Super quick, easier than using that pastry-handled thing. I generally keep flour in the freezer, but that's just 'cause I got moths one year.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:05 PM
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46: I think I made that this summer and found it meh. But I can't find my reliable old recipe, alas.

OTOH, I've spent the last 4 or 5 falls trying to reproduce Whole Foods' pumpkin-chocolate chip muffin. I still haven't nailed it, but I do have a delicious recipe.

I adore American biscuits, but my production/consumption of them has dropped drastically under my reduced breakfast plan (since I tend to eat them with sausage gravy and a fried egg, there's no getting around them as a calorie bomb). I would not like one with chocolate chips, although shortcake with chocolate chips is fine, and shortcake is just a few spoonfuls of sugar away from a biscuit.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:05 PM
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66.1: Yeah, that's what I meant.

66.2: I sometimes wish for another freezer just for flour and meal, for just that reason. Our actual freezer is always 80%+ full with ingredients and leftovers. During fruit pie season, the ice cream gets stored in the ice bin.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:07 PM
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That's the one thing where the tiny chocolate chips are better -- you want it kind of speckled with chocolate rather than with full-chip size lumps.

Cook's Illustrated recommends grated dark chocolate for this reason. But I don't care much for their banana bread recipe either.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:09 PM
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70

try freezing the bananas first.

This is an example of why my freezer has no room for flour.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:10 PM
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We don't have need for it yet (although with the bottom shelf full of frozen tomatoes, things are getting tight), but when I move into a more co-housing-type situation, I dream of having a second freezer.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:14 PM
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if someone brought out an old-style scone after a meal I would give them a slantendicular look, suspecting them of pulling a fast one on me.

Well sure. There's lots of things that I eat as a dessert that I wouldn't serve to guests. AB would never offer our guests nutella on wasa crispbread, but she sure as shit eats it after dinner, and I don't know how you could describe it other than "dessert".

I personally only ever make blueberry scones*, which I don't sweeten much at all, and wouldn't want except as breakfast, but if I were to make, say, a cranberry-ginger scone and top it with whipped cream or creme fraiche or sweetened sour cream, would that not be a delicious dessert? I might even offer it to a guest.

* with maybe 2 exceptions in 12 years; calling that "only"


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:15 PM
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The crumb on scones is larger and drier. It's nothing like a cake or muffin, even if it is covered in icing. Starbucks scones are just oil-laden mass-produced baked goods, but it's not like they accidentally made a cake and called it a scone. They're also giant, which is not good if one wants a pastry but doesn't want to commit to a pound of flour.

35: At least it's not bagels.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:16 PM
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We actually do have a deep freezer in the basement, but A. it's full of meat* and various stocks, and B. I can't very well go to the basement every time I need flour.

* a friend buys a whole cow from a local farmer every year


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:17 PM
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75

59.2: because I'm a fucking moron, you mean?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:18 PM
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76

Hmm, I like the combination of chocolate and banana, but I usually put a lot of sweet spices (cloves, allspice, cinnamon) in my banana bread. Would this still work?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:20 PM
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75: I'm open to other explanations!


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:20 PM
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Mm, a chest freezer, with rather a lot of it taken up by a box per month, so that when putting away the seasonal goodies one can distribute it among the months of lack. And the crown roast in December, because when else will you bother? Very sad, discovering stuff that was delicious and rare and has lingered in a freezer too long.

I now put reminders in my phone when storing goodies.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:21 PM
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And, yes, I realize I could just experiment, but I so rarely have the right number of overripe bananas.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:22 PM
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80

Starbucks has absolutely the worst desserts. Panera and ABP are way, way ahead for the same exorbitant prices.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:22 PM
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There's lots of things that I eat as a dessert that I wouldn't serve to guests. AB would never offer our guests nutella on wasa crispbread, but she sure as shit eats it after dinner, and I don't know how you could describe it other than "dessert".

Okay, but by that definition anything perceptibly sweet is a dessert. If I walked into the kitchen after dinner and stuck a spoon in a jar of marmalade and ate a spoonful, boom, marmalade is a dessert.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:24 PM
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ABP = Au Bon Pain? I find it slightly weird that the one with the French name is also the one with the most unpretentious menu and decor.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:24 PM
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Eggplant, you could make mini-batches. Make a batter, put half of it in a smaller pan your regular way and the other half in a smaller pan with chocolate chips. Then you can do SCIENCE, with a hypothesis and empiricism and everything.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:25 PM
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76: I think so. The aforementioned pumpkin muffins are heavily spiced. Although I've never had heavily spiced banana bread/muffins, so I"m not sure exactly what that profile would be - banana and pumpkin don't taste all that alike, so....


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:26 PM
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85

But I was hoping I could skip all that and you guys could tell me if I would like the results.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:27 PM
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85 to 83. JRoth comes through.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:28 PM
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No, you wouldn't like it, Eggplant. Three flavors (fruit, spice, chocolate) is too many for a baked good to attempt. Any two of the three would be fine.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:30 PM
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If I were going to worry about anything, it'd be the cloves. Cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg -- all of those I could see with chocolate. Cloves? It's not sounding right.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:30 PM
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Knifecrimea is paralysed on this issue, for class-linked pronunciation reasons, viz

i. the posher way to say scone rhymes it with throne
ii. the even posher way to say it rhymes it with gone*
iii. so how -- to announce myself free from the taint of all posh -- am i going to say it? ans = I am not

*(ttaM and ajay pronounce it to rhyme with spoon, because the Black Guelph Empress Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg and Gotha of the House of Wettin stole it, and made it into some kind of sandstone cushion)


Posted by: tierce de lollardie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:31 PM
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Okay, but by that definition anything perceptibly sweet is a dessert.

So wait, now you're arguing that chocolate and nuts combined with a grainy base totally explodes traditional notions of "dessert"?

Your marmalade example is confusing me (as it's more of a condiment than a food; it's not dessert the same way mayonnaise isn't lunch), but I'm not sure what you're trying to exclude from dessert. Chocolate-dipped strawberries? Peaches and cream? berries and cream over a biscuit? Dried fruit, nuts, and honey?

I'd say that you probably need fat + sugar, unless you have dark chocolate*. Is that definition too broad, or too narrow?

* there must be other exceptions. Chiding reference to cheese is hereby assumed.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:35 PM
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Starbucks has absolutely the worst desserts. Panera and ABP are way, way ahead for the same exorbitant prices.Starbucks has absolutely the worst desserts. Panera and ABP are way, way ahead for the same exorbitant prices.

The few Panera desserts I'd had were so bad I never even tried any others, but someone brought their cinnamon roll/coffee cake (it was cut up, so I'm not sure what it was supposed to be) to some event, and it was pretty much delicious.

My kids refer to ABP as The Scone Cafe because my MIL will take them there for a treat, which is usually a cinnamon scone. Actually, my MIL and son are such regulars (and my MIL so extraordinarily and genuinely gregarious) that I once met one of the servers out on the town. Our kids were interacting or something at a park, then she spotted Kai and said, "Does his grandma take him to ABP?" and we had a nice chat.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:39 PM
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Three flavors (fruit, spice, chocolate) is too many for a baked good to attempt.

I beg to differ. My applesauce bread has distinct flavors of (in approximate order of strength)

Apple
Chocolate
Ginger
Molasses
Other Fruit (plum, in this case)
Citrus (lemon or lime juice)

About half the time I make it the flavor isn't quite balanced and something is a little too strong. But the last two batches have both managed a nice balance across all the flavors.

[I realize you were offering a rule of thumb, rather than an absolute standard, but I feel like bragging anyway.]


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:39 PM
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i. the posher way to say scone rhymes it with throne
ii. the even posher way to say it rhymes it with gone

The American way to say it rhymes with "triscuit".


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:40 PM
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94

That's what those Dalriads get for nicking it from Ireland in the first place.


Posted by: emir | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:40 PM
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95

I'm not saying that it 'totally explodes' traditional notions of dessert, just that it's outside of the arbitrary boundaries I'd draw around that concept. Sure, it's similar to dessert -- fruit plus baked good. So's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and that's not dessert either. I don't have a brightline conceptual rule that excludes either PB&Js or old-style scones from 'dessert', but neither seems like a dessert to me.

The only point of the marmalade example was that saying "I know someone who eats [X] after dinner and [X] is sweet so it's a dessert" doesn't seem to me to have any force.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:41 PM
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I'm not saying that it 'totally explodes' traditional notions of dessert, just that it's outside of the arbitrary boundaries

"Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Dessert"


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:42 PM
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American biscuits are great with jam, jelly, or marmalade, you know. You don't need to have them with sausage n'at.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:43 PM
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but neither seems like a dessert to me.

I sometimes have either applesauce or vanilla yogurt with crunchy breakfast cereal sprinkled on top as dessert.

Both are sweet enough that they count as dessert in my book, though neither would be an acceptable substitute if I was in the mood for something with more butter.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:46 PM
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Both of those seem dessertier to me than a conventional scone. Vanilla yogurt is practically pudding, anyway.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:47 PM
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The radical move is to resist dessert entirely. Free your mind, and these rules and distinctions will melt into the air. I had a steak and cooked vegetables for breakfast and look at me now.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:51 PM
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The American way to say it rhymes with "triscuit".

I'm the one who said "Just grab 'em in the triscuit".


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:53 PM
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My mom lived in North Florida for about thirty years before learning that gravy can be white.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:54 PM
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95.last: I take your point, but I mentioned it not because I think it's an edge case (as I say, chocolate+nuts+grain is echt dessert), but because it's nothing I'd ever serve to a guest, which was a standard you'd applied. Some desserts are too homely for company, but are dessert nonetheless.

American biscuits are great with jam, jelly, or marmalade, you know. You don't need to have them with sausage n'at.

I know, and that's what AB does with them. But what inspires me to bake them is the promise of biscuits with gravy. Sometimes I will have one fresh from the oven with jam and then douse the leftovers with gravy the next day, but that's the exception.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:55 PM
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Dessert does not have a monopoly on sugary, tasty snacks. Plenty of breakfast foods are just as desserty as dessert foods, and sure, it'd be weird to serve them for dessert, just as it would be slightly strange to order a brownie with ice cream for breakfast. That doesn't mean that scones aren't as sugary a treat as a brownie.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:56 PM
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35: At least it's not bagels.

The bagels thing is unforgivable. I'm scarred by that conference that claimed a bagel breakfast and offered four types of fruit bagels with fruit or plain cream cheese.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:59 PM
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ms bill and I had some decent (at least by our uninformed standards) scones at tea at the Windsor Arms Hotel in Toronto a while back. No icing (on the scones).


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 2:59 PM
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But is a scone a sandwich?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:00 PM
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104 gets it exactly right. The dessert distinction that JRoth is missing is whether it would seem like a normal thing to serve after a meal. (I don't care about that one time you ate that one thing after your meal. Would it be usual.)


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:01 PM
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I suppose I could lose the cloves. I mostly just through a heap of whatever sweet spices I have in there anyway.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:02 PM
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I've used cloves and chocolate together before, but in a savory dish (chili).


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:06 PM
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104 does not get it exactly right, because scones are not "as sugary a treat as a brownie". This is true despite the facts that many sweet things are not desserts and many desserts are not terribly sweet.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:13 PM
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They're delicious at Quacks Bakery when fresh, which means pretty early in the morning.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:14 PM
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I heard that the general direness of Starbucks' baked "goods", if you can even CALL them that, more like baked bads, is the reason that Starbucks bought the "Boulange" chain of establishments out here.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:16 PM
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I have two good scone recipes which I can send you, Heebie.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:28 PM
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In an effort to curry favor with the woman you reprobates call Lunchy (who cooks all the time), recently I effected the manufacture, issuance and distribution of granola bars, to which I seem to have added too many chocolate chips. They are all crumbly. Nobody give me any trouble.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:34 PM
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I thought the special seasonal Frosted Pumpkin Pop-Tarts were pretty decent.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:36 PM
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Now that I've read the rest of the thread, I find 104 incomprehensible. Scones can be excellent with very little sugar, and plenty of things are exceedingly desserty while being only slightly sweet (red bean-based items, for example).


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:37 PM
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I think granola bars are genuinely difficult -- granola is easy, but making it hold together is tricky.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:47 PM
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The trick to being a confident cook is to not announce up front what the dish is and onlyname when you see how it turns out. In this case, you say that you had always meant to make granola and declare victory.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:49 PM
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More curry.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:50 PM
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re: 89

No, Scots generally use ii) for the bready-cake, and iii) for the mighty coronation stone/bit-of-pointless-rock/place.

Scones aren't very sweet (at all), but they are often served as carriers for really sweet stuff. Clotted cream and jam. The only variations on the basic scone I've ever seen are raisins [OK], or the cheese savoury version. All other adulteration is abomination! [Iain Paisley voice here]


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:50 PM
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60 to the wrong fucking thread.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:55 PM
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More curry? What about paprika?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:57 PM
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Yes, I know, I was just trying to muddle the outlanders. Speaking of which, if wikipedia is not lying to me, Australians have a kind of deep-fried scone called the "puftaloon".


Posted by: tierce de lollardie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:57 PM
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re: 124.1

Ah, carry on as you were.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 3:59 PM
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What is the scone conditional?


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 4:04 PM
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"puftaloon"

Rhymes with throne, with don, or with spoon? I'll believe anything -- we're all gullible like that.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 4:04 PM
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Speaking of food.

Today, I had to explain to a colleague what the word "kosher" meant. Someone from Israel had asked for a kosher meal at an event we are hosting. She had no idea at all what that meant. The entire concept was new to her. She'd never even heard the word before. This woman is in her mid-twenties, from coastal Florida, has a professional degree, and works in the DC area. I know that I shouldn't be boggled, but I am.

I bet she knows what a bagel is. One of those round things that are a bit like doughnuts and are not chewy at all.

My northeastern provincialism, let me show it to you.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 4:18 PM
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128: ?!


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 4:21 PM
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While you're explaining that to her, you might as well throw in "halal".


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 4:28 PM
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No, start small, with the Old Testament ("It's in the front of the book").


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 4:32 PM
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121: Over the last couple of weeks, I watched all 4 episodes of this documentary about the Provos. I think it was BBC, but I don't know, could have been Granada or whatever. Anyhow, NOT ONCE in the entire 4 hour presentation covering the period 1969 to 1997, did they mention Ian Paisley. How the fuck do you leave him out? I understand the politics are complicated and all, but it's like discussing the history of race relations in the US without mentioning the Klan. Weird.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 4:49 PM
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Ha ha. I did throw in an explanation of Halal. And it was a "since we're talking about this one, here's one that is similar."

My first reaction, unfortunately, was to say "Really?!" I immediately realized that she wasn't pulling my leg and I apologized. Her family is African-American Christian and I would have figured she'd have a passing familiarity with Jewish dietary restrictions. I thought that at least she'd be familiar with them from the mentions in the New Testament. Nope!

There was a sukkah in the Pentagon courtyard last week. She saw it and later asked about it. OK, that is obscure. But kashrut?!


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 4:59 PM
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I didn't really get what kosher meant, because I was weirdly slow to realize that Orthodox Jews existed, until maybe college. Like, I knew about my Conservative Jewish relatives, and thought they were extremely religious people, and I knew a few very irreligious Jews in our hometown. And I knew there was traditionally Jewish food, but I didn't get that kosher meant something more.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 5:03 PM
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OK, heebie definitely makes me think I should work on being charitable.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 5:08 PM
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I'm a little bit perplexed by the couple of Jewish people I know who seem to feel that it is a mark of honor not to get any references to A Christmas Story. I mean, yeah, I get it, you don't celebrate Christmas, but we're talking about a fairly widely distributed, even inescapable source of pop culture trivia.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 5:09 PM
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I mean, we've got weird family-specific reasons that we never speak of the details Judaism - at most we just pretend it's a family specific weird thing we do - and I didn't get any Bible at the Unitarian Fellowship, and there sure weren't any particularly religious Jews in our town.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 5:11 PM
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136: Antisemite.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 5:19 PM
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She had no idea at all what that meant

The opposite of 'trefne' i.e. the opposite suspect, not quite on the up and up, dubious, easily breakable - right? Not quite sure when I realized that that word had anything to do with religious law, but for some reason I figured out what kosher meant from Chaim Potok, but not 'tref'. I'm certain that most Poles have no idea of what that very common adjective comes from.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 5:33 PM
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Some friends who delighted in letting their baby eat anything were joking about celebrating "baby's first treyf" at our house. (I think the offending item was some kind of shellfish dip.)


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 5:45 PM
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Chocolate chips in American biscuits would be a travesty. However, my mother often served biscuits for dessert, cut in half with a big pat of butter and two tablespoons of granulated sugar in the middle. And they were fucking delicious.

Of course, biscuits are served at pretty much every meal in my family, so serving the last of them as dessert only made sense. Leftover biscuits are terrible.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 6:04 PM
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The only variations on the basic scone I've ever seen are raisins [OK]

Currants, too, surely?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 6:06 PM
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And I do know about Sukkot but might have not placed it if I came across a sukkah. Sukkot is right there with unions and unicorns for things that I know about intellectually but have maybe witnessed once in my actual life.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 6:11 PM
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We walked past some rollicking Sukkot festivities last night.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 6:14 PM
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It was Simchat Torah. People were jumping up and down with Torah scrolls, and each Torah holder had people dancing in circles around her or him.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 6:22 PM
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Thank God I'm an atheistnot Jewish. If I had any more social obligations this week I would freak out so severely.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 6:33 PM
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Okay, for this thing to work, somebody else has actually got to comment occasionally.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 6:43 PM
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I think he means me!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 7:06 PM
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Maybe if I had more social obligations this week I would have fewer plane flights.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 7:19 PM
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Although my wanderings did give me a chance today to reenact the closest thing I have to a religious ritual, going to the Seminary Coop Bookstore's front section and choosing a quasi-random book on a topic I have no clue about (and also no clue about the book's quality).


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 7:24 PM
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that is an excellent tradition, essear. will you update our connectome with your new connectome?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:04 PM
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that one time you ate that one thing after your meal

Are you suggesting that my wife has only slathered nutella on the nearest flat grain-based object once? Or that she is somehow alone in doing this?

Or is the standard for defining all foods Would you serve it to your guests at a formal meal? Because now chicken pot pie isn't dinner - unless you're some sort of prole, I suppose.

Further: if you think that I wouldn't serve a ginger-cranberry scone with heavy cream after dinner, you're living in a fool's paradise.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:17 PM
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||

On facebook an acquaintance has just implied that you have to be a Marxist to apply the notion of contradiction to anything other than assertions.

|>


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:18 PM
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The dessert distinction that JRoth is missing is whether it would seem like a normal thing to serve after a meal

Like cheese?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:19 PM
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No, like ham.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:20 PM
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Anyway, it's weird that, in a thread that's discussed chocolate-pumpklin muffins, chocolate-banana bread, and an apparently decadent applesauce cake, we're treating scones as an edge case between breakfast and dessert. The average sweet American muffin probably has more sugar than a brownie of comparable calorie count (but less chocolate).


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:25 PM
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OT: Romney reversed his position on abortion today? No restrictions? Did he just lose the base? My mother was really tortured about voting for him, but I don't think she'll show up now.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:26 PM
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157: Etch-a-motherfucking-sketch.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:28 PM
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The weirdest part is that all of this insanely blatant flip-flopping actually seems to be working for him, at least so far.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:29 PM
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90.last to 154.

Actually, maybe what people seem to want is to define "dessert" as "a food that could never serve as breakfast, lunch, or dinner (except for depressed shut-ins)". Therefore a chocolate brownie is dessert, while a chocolate chip muffin is not. A cake flavored with maple syrup is dessert, but pancakes topped with maple syrup is not.

But you still get edge cases: waffles with strawberries and whipped cream? We have it for breakfast all the time, but it's sold in (some) restaurants as dessert.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:30 PM
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Mmm, Romney waffles.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:32 PM
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Anyway, what actually seems to be going on with Romney is that he's decided that laying the smackdown on Obama in the debate has given him such massive cred with the base that they're willing to let him do anything it takes to win. He might even be right.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:38 PM
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I know it's frustrating, but I'm still hoping Obama is playing rope-a-dope. He did it during the 2008 primaries and during the election. But here he's betting that if he lets Romney have enough space and time, he will make a dick of himself. It might be true, and it might be impossible because the base has been staring at dicks too long.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:53 PM
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the base has been staring at dicks too long

The porn thread's the other one.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:55 PM
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Which is the making-things-explicit thread?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:55 PM
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All of them.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 8:56 PM
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neb might be interested to hear that at the liquor store today I saw birch syrup vodka, made by this place (which has an annoyingly Flash-based website or I would link directly to the product).


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:08 PM
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No cognac, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:09 PM
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That is interesting, but vodka strikes me as an odd thing to make out of what I presume to be an interesting and difficult-to-obtain ingredient.

Some place on the other side of the country makes a maple syrup vodka about which I feel unsurprisingly similarly.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:11 PM
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They also make a smoked salmon vodka. They seem to specialize in gimmicks.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:12 PM
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Presumably the smoked salmon vodka isn't distilled from salmon.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:18 PM
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Well, neither is the birch syrup.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:26 PM
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They do apparently make one that is distilled from hemp seeds, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:28 PM
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But the rest appear to be infused with their titular ingredients rather than distilled from them.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:29 PM
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Oh.

Much less interesting.

The maple syrup vodka is distilled from maple syrup.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:29 PM
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That would indeed be a bizarre thing to do with birch syrup.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:30 PM
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53: Agreed! I had a vision of where it would all end: he would just go and pee on some couple's meal at a restaurant and tell them officiously that his urine had improved the nutritional profile of their food. This may already have happened; I haven't kept up.

There are ridiculously, ridiculously good rosemary scones at a vegan cafe near downtown Berkeley BART. Like Bittman, I have been exiled from the world of dairy, but I think I would have flipped for these things even under ideal conditions.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:33 PM
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Gratitude? I've never felt qualified to go.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:48 PM
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Cafe Gratitude? Arson is too good for those cult-affiliated, employee-exploiting disgusting sons of bitches.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:57 PM
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Oh my no. This place. The baked goods are better than the website.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:58 PM
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I've never felt qualified to go.

One I Am Insecure coming right up!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 9:59 PM
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p.s. I Am Offended! (Seitan on dinosaur kale with orange-ginger-balsamic reduction smeared with deer bile)


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10- 9-12 10:01 PM
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So, Ian Paisley walks into Starbucks in Belfast, points at a shiny white thing and asks, "Is that a scone or a meringue?"

"No Ian, you're right - it's a scone."


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 12:06 AM
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(You have to do the accent.)


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 12:07 AM
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Heh. I've heard the same joke done in a Glasgow accent.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:05 AM
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There was a sukkah in the Pentagon courtyard last week. She saw it and later asked about it

"If you're in a poker gamethe Pentagon and you can't spot the sukkah, you're the sukkah."

I would like a really great scone, please.

This question has already been resolved. You need to talk to my mum. Or, alternatively, ttaM's mum.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:37 AM
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Aargh, tag failure. No wonder I didn't put my name on that comment.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 1:37 AM
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183: That joke befuddled me until I imagined it being said in the voice of a former client from County Armagh.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:29 AM
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Haven't read the thread yet, but go look at M/tch's recipe in AWB's recipe blog. They're ridiculously delicious, they're proper scones, and he made a batch on Monday, because he rocks.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:31 AM
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What is the URL for the recipe blog again?


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:38 AM
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WTF? The phone ate my scone comment. Anyhoo, go look at M/tch's recipe in AWB's wiki. They're ridiculously delicious, they're proper scones, and he made a batch on Monday because he rocks.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:39 AM
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What is the URL for the recipe blog again?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:42 AM
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I made a Victoria sponge at the weekend. Beaucoup domestic points were won. Not made scones for years, though. Might be a project for this weekend.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:46 AM
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http://ybwwwe.pbworks.com


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:52 AM
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They're listed as "cream scones."


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:56 AM
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||

The federal Office of Personnel Management form that they send you after you do a security-clearance interview for a former employee is funny.

They're trying to assess their own process and see if their investigator was professional and courteous, which is fine.

But one of the questions is about whether you had to tell the investigator about any concerns you have about your former employee. "For example -- criminal conduct, illegal drug use, alcohol abuse, violent behavior, foreign travel."

One of these things is not like the others, guys.

||>


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:07 AM
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Real Americans don't even have a passport.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:11 AM
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the realest had theirs taken away


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:18 AM
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If you mean me, that was done as a favor to the Canadian government and, in retrospect, I can see their point.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:25 AM
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Just because it's Canada, doesn't mean the elk ride for free.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:32 AM
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So, what's 'it's a scone' supposed to sound like in the joke? I give up.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:45 AM
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"a meringue" and "am I wrong" are homophones in very thickly accented English as spoken by my father and maybe in some backwater regional dialects as well.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:48 AM
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For example -- criminal conduct, illegal drug use, alcohol abuse, violent behavior, foreign travel

aka "stag weekend".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 6:55 AM
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I made scones on Saturday -- the SK apple-cheddar ones, so certain not to meet with trans-Atlantic approval. But they were really fucking good.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 7:08 AM
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202: thanks


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 7:32 AM
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re: 201

The word 'wrong' is pronounced 'wrang' in some Scottish and some Northern Irish dialects. So, 'am I wrong' and 'a meringue' are, as lw says, homophones.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 7:53 AM
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late, but 160:

re: muffins as breakfast food.

"muffins are for people who don't have the balls to order cake for breakfast" --only decent line from a forgettable show


Posted by: fly by | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 7:54 AM
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206: Yes, but what makes it funny?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 8:16 AM
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The incongruity of Ian Paisley eating a scone. Am I wrong?


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 8:21 AM
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WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO EAT?

A PAPIST WAFER?


Posted by: Opinionated Ian Paisley [As If There Were Any Other Kind] | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 8:27 AM
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Also in Britain, "meringue" refers to some sort of solid object, I'm not sure what, instead of just being a whipped pie topping like it is here.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 8:51 AM
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211: No, here too "meringues" can be little cookie-esque things -- hard, crunchy, melt-in-your-mouthy things. (I hate them, but I am in the minority.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 8:53 AM
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Yep. I love them. Imagine if styrofoam were made of crunchy sugar.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 8:56 AM
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Best if crunchy on the outside and slightly chewy inside.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:00 AM
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And they make really convincing mushrooms, if you want to decorate something with mushrooms.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:06 AM
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212: They suck. You're right.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:08 AM
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They're so delicious.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:39 AM
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No! They are a terrible bait-and-switch. From afar, you're like, "Oh look! Cookies!" and then you get to them and are all, "Fucking meringues!"


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:42 AM
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How do they look like cookies? The ones I've seen look like little clouds. Sometimes two little clouds stuck together with delicious cream.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:42 AM
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Count me in on Team Delicious.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:43 AM
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Somebody once told me "It's a macaroon, a type of cookie." That was so obviously wrong that now I trust nobody.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:43 AM
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Macaroons are different, although also delicious. I favor the 'sticky lump of coconut' style, although the 'almost a meringue except with ground almonds in it' type is nifty too.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:44 AM
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I've only had the second kind.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:44 AM
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Team Sticky Lump of Coconut.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:45 AM
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Then there's the potato macaroon:

http://www.madestuff.co.uk/2009/08/10/traditional-scottish-macaroon/

I kid not.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:49 AM
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I've never had a potato-based dessert and I'm not sure why I'd want to change that.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:50 AM
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'almost a meringue except with ground almonds in it'

That's a macaron, not a macaroon.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:50 AM
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Team AAMEWGAII checking in. Also, meringues are delicious, but only once in a while. They're not an everyday cookie.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:50 AM
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226: Not a fan of sweet potato pie?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:51 AM
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229: Too southern.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:52 AM
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The Scottish potato ones are nice. Although I've only had them home-made once [a friend's sister], and have largely had mass-produced ones.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:53 AM
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230: Racist.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:55 AM
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Yes those meringue ersatz cookies things are grody to the max. As are their awful cousins, those hard tea cake things with the confectioners sugar. Yuck.

You know what is a good dessert? Those peanut butter cookies with a Hershey's Kiss in the center. Those are the best. Especially if you sub in a mini Reese's Cup for the Kiss.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:57 AM
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God I love Halloween candy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:58 AM
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My wife made some kind of chocolate frosting for cake pops. I want to make that again and put it in between two peanut butter cookies.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:59 AM
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Meringues are yummy, though I like them best when they're slightly undercooked with a chewy center. I don't know how you can hate a mix of egg whites, sugar, and vanilla.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 10:46 AM
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218 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 11:20 AM
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Are Irish scones different from other scones? Because I became briefly obsessed this summer with the scones at an Irish bakery up the street. They were like fluffy biscuits, with raisins -- not the dense, crumbly sweet pastries that I'm used to. But then I had this weird encounter with two drunken crazy people at the bakery, so I couldn't go there anymore, because one of the drunken crazy people was the owner. That was really too bad. They had good brown bread, too.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 5:30 PM
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Meringues as cookies seem to be endemic in Italy. This is apparently a very controversial statement, but besides gelato (which is pretty much the best cold dairy dessert product in the world) and tiramisu, Italian desserts are a bit of let down compared with other Italian foods. Perhaps relatedly, Italians have an inexplicable love of hard, bland, crunchy carb products.


Posted by: Britta | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 7:54 PM
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That's what I said when everybody said biscotti is good.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 7:58 PM
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238: Can you wear a disguise?


Posted by: YK | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 8:09 PM
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240 gets it right. Also, gelato is maybe the third best cold dairy dessert.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 8:40 PM
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Eggplant:

What are the 1st and 2nd?


Posted by: Britta | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:04 PM
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Ice cream and frozen yogurt. Gelato is what you make if you're too cheap to use enough cream.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:35 PM
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Specific kinds of gelato, I assume.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:36 PM
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And I'm interpreting cold to mean frozen. If it includes desserts that are best served chilled, gelato is going to fall further back.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:36 PM
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I forgot about frozen custard. Semifreddo sounds interesting but I've never tried it so I can't demote gelato to fifth place just yet.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 9:42 PM
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Eggplant

Hmm...I would rate gelato above ice cream and definitely frozen yogurt. I'm not familiar enough with frozen custard (have had some that was really good, some that was ok), but at least the gelato I've had in Italy has been almost uniformly amazing. I have had some not great gelato in the US, but then I've also had some pretty terrible ice cream. Certainly there is some ice cream better than some gelato, but generalizing I would say as a class gelato is better.


Posted by: Britta | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 10:04 PM
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||

This is already amusing, but, in a rare occurrence, one of the youtube comments is surprisingly good: "I just don't get why Obama did not bring up the video where Romney tells a bunch of bongo drummers that he really does not care about complex rhythm cycles, it seems he will change his point of view´╗┐ depending on what kind of drummers are watching."

|>


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 10:51 PM
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The clip in 249 is indeed amusing.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 11:04 PM
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The comment neb quotes is also good, but I'll have to take his word for it that it was actually posted.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-10-12 11:06 PM
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248 is right.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 4:00 AM
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There is an ice cream place in msla that will change your mind. Really. I challenge the both of you, and any lurkers, to an ice cream off.

No gelato I've ever had in Italy compared to what they serve at that place in Courtenay BC.


Posted by: CCarp | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 5:18 AM
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Gelato is what you make if you're too cheap to use enough cream.

Fruit ice cream is what you make when you're either too cheap to use good quality fruit or too incompetent to realize that adding dairy will make the resulting product worse.

In general, poor or mediocre gelato is worse than poor or mediocre ice cream while the best gelatos are better than the best ice creams even for non fruit flavors. For fruit flavors any decent gelato (or sorbet as it is known in France) is better than the best ice cream version. Getting great gelato in the US is extremely difficult, while it's fairly common in Italy. Really horrible gelato is unfortunately also quite common in Italy. Strangely enough, the horrible version seems to be most common in tourist areas geared towards Italians.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 5:54 AM
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The French are confusing. Sorbet is just frozen sugar water.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 5:56 AM
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Meringues are yummy, though I like them best when they're slightly undercooked with a chewy center.

Most definitely this. My mum makes amazing, plate-sized gooey-centred meringues with only a half-centimetre or so shell. Whereas if you buy a meringue most places it will be small and hard almost all the way through, which is like eating chalky polystyrene.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 6:07 AM
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Oddly, I have visited Meiringen twice without trying a meringue there.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 6:12 AM
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Meiringen

What does Ian Paisley say when he can't hear his phone in his pocket?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 6:18 AM
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I always had the belief that sorbets were dairy-free by definition, but my mom and I checked a bunch at the local grocery store and they definitely contained dairy products.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 6:22 AM
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re: 259

They often contain egg white, but I've never heard of a traditional sorbet [or at least I've never made any or seen a recipe for one] that contained milk or cream. Maybe that's a modern mass-produced thing? Adding in milk protein or yoghurt or something for smoothness.

When I've made them, they've been fruit, sugar, water, and egg white.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 6:35 AM
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257. Did anybody try to push you over a waterfall while you were there?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 6:41 AM
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I found this blogpost on gelato fairly enlightening:
http://exurbe.com/?p=980
(somewhere else on that blog there are some good spot-the-saint-in-classic-art posts.)


Posted by: emir | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 6:48 AM
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||

Electric road sign in North Knifecrimea.

|>


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 6:50 AM
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263: Awesome.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 10-11-12 3:38 PM
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I am so sad I missed this thread. Every time I make biscuits for the in-laws, they are baffled as to why I'm serving them scones at dinner time.

On the other hand, I've been making scones a lot recently (the super crumbly type) and they really are just biscuits. They even have less sugar than my normal biscuit recipe (James Beard's cream biscuits).

I've seen a recipe for the scones that I think JMS is describing ..... I shall make them and report back!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 10-12-12 11:42 AM
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