Re: I can get bent out of shape about anything

1

Why do you hate endangered apricots?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:49 AM
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"everything entry"?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:50 AM
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3

That's a weird comment right there.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:52 AM
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4

I like the idea of blackberry/walnut jam. The jam-makers do seem like annoying people, though.


Posted by: jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:52 AM
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5

Also, I love Blenheim apricots and you should too.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:52 AM
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6

Excellent. Feel the rage. Come to the dark side.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:52 AM
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7

I've never considered which alloys are coming into contact with my jam.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:53 AM
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8

Isn't using the best, freshest fruit for jam vaguely missing the point of the food?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:55 AM
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8: We're not in a subsistence economy anymore. At least those of us who'd be buying the jam in question.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:57 AM
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10

Although I do agree with you about the aesthetic of the thing, in practice many more of us can try rare varietals of fruit in a preserved state than fresh.

Would you also insist that wine only be made from grapes unsuitable for eating fresh?


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 7:59 AM
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Oh man, I have gotten bent out of shape about exactly this ridiculous jam-maker's ridiculous claims in the past! Ridiculous.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:01 AM
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12

Now I want a Blenheim ginger ale. (They are frighteningly spicy.)


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:01 AM
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13

12.
that's what the dark rum is for.


Posted by: cleek | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:06 AM
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14

Burn it down! Destroy the jam! Who's with me??


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:08 AM
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The copy not only highlights the value of modesty, it also reads like a high school essay written to pad the word count. Or maybe there is some need that I'm missing for them to specify that they either go get fruit or have the fruit delivered to them.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:08 AM
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8 is an excellent point.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:09 AM
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17

No, the point of jam is to take fruit when it is at its freshest and best, but available in quantities too large to consume fresh before it ceases to be fresh and good, and preserve it for later.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:13 AM
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18

I thought the point of jam was to make toast taste edible.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:14 AM
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19

I thought the point of jam was to make toast taste edible.

No, that's butter.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:16 AM
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20

They must be jam-makers, 'cause jelly-makers don't self-aggrandize like that.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:16 AM
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21

19: That's how my son feels. He'd eat butter without toast if we gave it to him.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:18 AM
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22

They seem to be suggesting that they don't think I'm ready for their jam.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:19 AM
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23

21: so would I.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:22 AM
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24

They could rename their company "Technotronic," they way they pump up that jam.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:22 AM
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I agree with 17, though of course you can also make jam out of overripe fruits and whatnot. (And I make jam from fruits I buy just for that purpose, which is arguably kind of silly, but hey, I like jam.)


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:23 AM
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23: I'm under no obligation to see that you eat relatively balanced meals, but I'm also not required or well-positioned to feed you breakfast.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:24 AM
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23: hurf durf.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:28 AM
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We just planted a Blenheim apricot tree this past January. And a Greengage plum. I would have no other, and when I make jam (in a few years), I will elevate brown label paper to a tasteful, elegant statement.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:44 AM
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29

24. I love this cover


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 8:56 AM
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30

I thought I had killed the Meyer lemon tree I bought by mail order, but as of yesterday it has a thumb-sized lemon on it. I remain convinced that it will fall prey to raccoons or otherwise be victim to my gray thumb, but for now I'm celebrating.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 9:09 AM
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31

You have an outdoor lemon tree in Pennsylvania? Or indoor racoons?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 9:10 AM
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I had an indoor Meyer lemon tree a couple of years back, and got lemons from it for a year or two. Then it started getting sad and dropping leaves, and we gave it to a friend with a backyard. It's in a pot, so it lives indoors in the winter, but it's outside for six months and that seems to give it enough light to be happy.

The 'lemons', or whatever they really are, are very nice.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 9:16 AM
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33

That makes sense. I hadn't considered a portable tree.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 9:21 AM
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34

• We were the first company to popularize trolling an eclectic web magazine.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 9:32 AM
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35

Then it started getting sad and dropping leaves, and we gave it to a friend with a backyard. It's in a pot, so it lives indoors in the winter, but it's outside for six months and that seems to give it enough light to be happy.

Another thing to consider for those who would grow citrus trees in pots -- yellow, dropping leaves can also indicate that they need to be fed, and they need special high-acid food. Citrus, especially the sour-er kinds of citrus, unsurprisingly enough, sucks a lot of acid out of the soil.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 9:38 AM
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36

If you used balsamic vinegar, could you get a uniquely flavored lemon?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 9:42 AM
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37

Bending me out of shape currently is all the parallel-universe Internet jargon the NYT crossword uses. "E-mag" and "E-zine" being the chiefest.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 9:50 AM
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38

Citrus is a "heavy feeder", since is has leaves and fruit production to support in all seasons.

I throw a couple of them citrus food spike-things at the base of my trees every two-three months.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 9:56 AM
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37: Right, as if it's that hard to spell out "eclectic."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 10:22 AM
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40

tl;dr

I expect your little bitchery is justified, though.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 10:48 AM
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41

I throw a couple of them citrus food spike-things at the base of my trees every two-three months.

Since I'm out of town at the moment, do you mind swinging by my place and taking care of this for me? Just for the lemons by the pool and the orange in the northeast corner of the yard, please. You're welcome to swim while you're there. Thanks. (No kidding, we've never done this, and now I'm panicking that I've sterilized our poor fruit trees. I am the Josef Mengele of the Central Valley's agricultural community.)


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 10:54 AM
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(Actually, given all of the crazy hybridization and genetic modification going on in the Central Valley, I bet I'm not ranked higher than seven or eight on the list of regional monsters.)


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 10:55 AM
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43

Seriously, though, someone should feed our fruit trees asap. As a public service.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 10:56 AM
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44

A true public servant would resettle your fruit trees in Israel.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:00 AM
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45

I'll feed your fruit trees this weekend if you agree to have lunch with Josh.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:02 AM
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46

37: Ezine is so, so frequent and I've never heard it anywhere other than the crossword. I think they use "e-" in front of other things it doesn't get used in front of by anyone but I can't think of an example.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:26 AM
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47

I could bring some of them citrus food spike things to Pub Quiz, and let you do the rest.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:28 AM
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48

"e-tail"


Posted by: jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:38 AM
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49

46: E-tail is another.


Posted by: joyslinger | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:38 AM
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50

Lesson learned: Trying to decide whether to go lowbrow and make a Grindr reference leads to pwning.


Posted by: joyslinger | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:39 AM
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51

I think e-tail might have been used a few times in 1998.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:50 AM
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Also, "e-cash".

I associate "e-zine" with the days when things like Slate and Salon were starting up. For example:.

For now, Slate is free, although Microsoft plans to begin charging for the e-zine during the first quarter of next year.

Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:51 AM
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45 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 11:59 AM
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54

E-tu, Brute?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 12:10 PM
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55

Los E-stados Unidos.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 12:17 PM
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56

e-xciting.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 12:31 PM
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57

e-lephant.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 12:32 PM
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58

This could get stupid, fast.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 12:32 PM
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59

E-stupido.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 12:32 PM
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59: "An eclectically stupid web magazine."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 1:38 PM
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61

Every entry on this list ... is annoying, irrelevant, deceptive, or outright false

There's a lot of that going around.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:04 PM
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62

I think I accidentally threw some people off at the con by putting "Senor Esmirqueso" on my nametag.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:06 PM
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62: Ohhhh....


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:07 PM
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61 -- "There is no lobster in the lobster burrito" is my favorite thing I've ever written in a professional capacity.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:19 PM
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65

62: I assumed that was your non-union Mexican equivalent.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:21 PM
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64: We know.

Although originally you only read it.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:29 PM
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67

I suppose that you were being correct but modest in initially only claiming to have read it.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:30 PM
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61: Remember last year, when I was talking about finding some more unethical business activity to engage in? THIS is the kind of link I could have used then. You guys. Jeez.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:35 PM
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69

It's been one long ride of progressively giving up anonymous-ifying markers.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:35 PM
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70

61. And the accompanying video has a familiar person!


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:35 PM
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71

Now that I think about it, that was actually in 2011. But still.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:36 PM
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Anyhow, there's a nice little niche market, which I'm not in anymore, of lawsuits about misleading labeling in food, of which there's a ton. No reason not to apply that to distilling as well. These kinds of cases work best in California.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:36 PM
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I see nothing wrong with this type of thing which uses grain alcohol as an ingredient, and adds all kinds of cool stuff. Or doing that with gin, either. Isn't that how all gin is made? Alcohol plus aromatics.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 2:57 PM
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74

There's a lot of that going around.

Bartender Matt Ficke!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 3:10 PM
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Bartender Matt Ficke!

I am sure that neb is simply elaborating on what I wrote in 70.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 3:13 PM
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Ummmmm obviouslam.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-13 3:18 PM
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