Re: Amputees

1

Afghanistan is not quite the bullshit war that Iraq is.

Disagree.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 12:58 PM
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For a period of probably less than a year, around a decade ago, Afghanistan was less of a bullshit war than Iraq.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:07 PM
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Oh, it's bullshit. But not of the same caliber bullshit as Iraq.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:08 PM
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Less bullshit than Iraq is a really low bar.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:14 PM
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5

Back on the topic that hasn't been discussed at endless length on this very blog, I assume that heebie is going to see a lot more of the mentioned amputees than those of us in coastal enclaves. I haven't seen any, for instance, or at least not that I noticed.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:17 PM
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6

I guess it could also be that amputees here have easier access to less visible prosthetics, but I don't that's probably it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:18 PM
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7

San Antonio has a bunch of military bases.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:22 PM
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5 gets it right. I haven't seen any amputees either. Except, you know, in the hospital. Which is where I am most days.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:23 PM
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I was actually thinking that -- I don't notice Iraq/Afghanistan era veteran-aged amputees as a presence on the streets here. On the other hand, I've lived in Manhattan most of my life and I have pretty much no celebrity-sighting stories (Brian Lehrer doesn't count, right), so this mostly means I'm just not looking at people.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:24 PM
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10

Er, hot weather/cold weather? Are we talking about people in Texas not wearing long pants?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:25 PM
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11

I've seen Michael Keaton in Pittsburgh. And my wife saw Prince.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:26 PM
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12

Hmm. It's possible also that Heebie U is heavily marketing to vets (and in fairness, I think the size/individual attention/etc makes us a really good fit.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:26 PM
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I don't even see limbedness.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:26 PM
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On the other hand, I've lived in Manhattan most of my life

I thought you were from the midwest?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:27 PM
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12: You're a veteran-serving institution. You serve the veterans bit by bit.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:27 PM
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Most of the amputees I've seen recently were at the wedding of the son of a family friend. He is in the Marine Corp.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:28 PM
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17

+s. god damn it. Not a maritime corporation.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:29 PM
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15: Next semester, I'll see all these dismembered legs and arms attending classes?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:30 PM
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15: Right. A soldier like that you don't serve all in one sitting.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:31 PM
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I don't want to overstate this. I feel like I'm making it sound more common than it is. I think we've got about 8% veteran students, and most of them are not visibly injured.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:32 PM
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21

19 made me laugh. Hadn't heard that one before.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:33 PM
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22

Anyway, now that I think about it, I had this thought while I was at ACL this weekend. So outside of Heebie U.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:35 PM
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23

I mostly see amputations in older people that look vaguely Type-II diabetes-ish.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:38 PM
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It's sad (but not strange) how common it is to see amputees now, compared with a decade ago.

Definitely a case of a biased sample. The number of limb amputations attributable to the Iraq and Afghanistan wars barely registers in the epidemiological statistics. The vast majority of amputations performed in the U.S. are related to vascular disease (especially complications from diabetes), not trauma.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:38 PM
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25

I'm gonna need Standpipe's blog for 14.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:40 PM
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It is true that Heebie U students have unusually low rates of diabetes-caused amputations, compared to the population as a whole.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:41 PM
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27


It could be true that there are measurably more young people with prosthetic limbs than a decade ago, since most of the diabetic lower extremity amputations are performed on older patients.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:42 PM
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28

Is it true compared to the University of Chicago math department?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:43 PM
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25: Oh, LB has occasionally said that it irks her when people assume she grew up elsewhere. I was just being obnoxious. I mean hilarious.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:43 PM
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I live about a mile from the new Walter Reed/Naval Medical Center. Lots of amputees. Lots of multiple amputees. It stands out to me in some area bars, too.

Prosthetics have improved amazingly. I had a trainee two years ago who was born without a leg. He walked with no limp or gait defect (with a prosthetic). My boss and I ran into his undergrad advisor at a conference, and the advisor told us. My boss called me over and asked whether I'd noticed my trainee had only one leg. I said no. His former advisor asked whether I'd noticed that the kid never wore shorts. I said I'd told him about appropriate dress. My boss rolled his eyes and said, "Call yourself a scientist? You didn't even notice your kid is missing a goddamned LEG!"


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:43 PM
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31


27 posted before seeing 26. Yes, 26 is true, but also consistent with my theory of sample bias.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:43 PM
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32

Are you sure it isn't something congenital? Maybe they didn't take the Thalidomide out of Pearl Beer until 1995.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:44 PM
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33

28 to 26.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:44 PM
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34

Maybe they didn't take the Thalidomide out of Pearl Beer Shiner Lone Star until 1995.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:49 PM
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I do know a guy that had an elective foot amputation recently; he had pain from an old injury that had led to a problematic relationship with painkillers, and he figured prosthetics are good enough these days that having it off was the least traumatic/debilitating way to get away from both the pain and the pills. Doesn't seem like a great plan to me, but it's not my foot.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:52 PM
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30: It kind of weirded me out/overly impressed me when I realised my mother can pick people with prosthetics out of a crowd with a quick glance; even though it's a totally normal skill for a physical therapist to have, it seemed very Sherlockian.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:52 PM
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37

I guess it's not really his foot now, either.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:53 PM
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38

In a further concession to heebie, I should acknowledge that the percentage of trauma victims among people with amputated limbs is higher (close to half) than the percentage of amputations in a given year, because the trauma amputees go on to live a lot longer than the typical diabetic amputee. Nevertheless, war wounds still make up a miniscule fraction of trauma amputations.



Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:53 PM
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39

I wonder if more (younger) people are not bothering to hide their amputations any more. That could have a number of causes, from its being associated with veterans to the efforts of disability activists to become more visible. Anyway, the older people I know with amputations had prosthetics or discreetly buttoned up sleeves or whatever.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:57 PM
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40

I have on several occasions in the last few years seen largish groups of seriously wounded veterans, many of them amputees, in town for some kind of event or other here in DC and it is fucking depressing/infuriating. More common around town in general, too, presumably, per 30, due to Walter Reed. In my neighborhood, lots and lots of what must be diabetes-related amputations, which is depressing/infuriating for other reasons.

22: Surely irrelevant, but when I moved to Austin a couple decades ago, I was struck by the number of young, otherwise healthy-looking amputees I saw around town/on campus--not that it was particularly high in absolute terms, but it was higher than what I'd seen living on the east coast (i.e. more or less none), noticeable enough that I wondered about it (and figured it must be farm/ranch accidents or something? but I have no idea).


Posted by: potchkeh | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:57 PM
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41

37: Now it belongs to the ages.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:58 PM
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42

35 sounds like a last, desperate attempt to save House from low ratings.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 1:59 PM
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43

Oh, oops. Guess Pearl was still being brewed in 1995. And now I know.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 2:00 PM
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44

I'd agree with Heebie, I do think I notice more amputees running around than I'm used to. So to speak. I can't say what fraction of them look ex-military, though, because I try so hard to ignore them. (Yes, I know, I suck.)


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 2:07 PM
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45

I recently texted my haircutter for an appointment. She said she isn't making appointment since the amputation. I hadn't known she was losing a foot, although I did know she is diabetic.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 2:19 PM
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46

My next-door neighbor is missing a leg from the knee down, but he lost it jumping trains as a teenager.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 2:41 PM
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47

Sometimes you can't easily tell. The colonel on the right in this photo has a bilateral above the knee amputation. He is still on active duty and command Fort Be/lvoir. Here's another shot where it is obvious. "Obvious" disabilities aren't always so.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 2:59 PM
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I'd agree with Heebie, I do think I notice more amputees running around than I'm used to. So to speak.

Not only are there more amputees, amputees are now more likely to be able to run around. So those two factors are synergistic.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 3:06 PM
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49

And yeah, disability and the military is bread and butter to me. DoD General Counsel maintains (for some very lawyerly reasons) that no member of the military has a disability, by definition. And yet, individuals such as the colonel are there to refute it...thus. Heck, we had a blind officer teaching at West Point a few years ago. Not sure if he is there now, but we provided accommodations to him as for any other person with a disability.

Most Service members with severe disabilities choose to leave the service. But some do stay.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 3:06 PM
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50

47 is awesome in a 'living in the future' kind of way.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 3:07 PM
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50: yep


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 3:14 PM
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30: My boss rolled his eyes and said, "Call yourself a scientist? You didn't even notice your kid is missing a goddamned LEG!"

This sort of thing does give me pause. Mindfulness and observation are underrated. My grad school advisor was missing the top third of one of his fingers, and it was amazing how many people had never noticed it. It's not the case that one *should* closely examine people in such a way, but if you never even noticed, er.

Most of the amputees I've seen have lost portions of themselves by working in factories. My home town, once famous for its furniture making, had a lot of folks lacking one or more fingers, or portions thereof. Pretty common to see that. I imagine people in areas with a lot of slaughterhouses might see that as well.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 6:32 PM
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53

Good news! Obamacare is more popular since the shutdown

For one thing, the health-care law has become more popular since the shutdown began. Thirty-eight percent see the Affordable Care Act (or "Obamacare") as a good idea, versus 43 percent who see it as a bad idea - up from 31 percent good idea, 44 percent bad idea last month.

That means the undecideds have become decided. (I'm sure there are all kinds of things to quibble about in that poll, but I'm trying to cheer Stormcrow up.)


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 6:43 PM
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52: Literally no one noticed, and the boss was teasing. I don't disagree that it's important to be observant, but this was well concealed. When we got back, a coworker and I looked really carefully and wondered whether his advisor had been pranking us. Like I said, the kid had an excellent prosthesis/PT as a kid. His leg didn't appear more narrow, and he didn't have any lack of mobility. He could crouch, spin around to his right or left, climb ladders or stairs, went running, played basketball, etc. The only time it was slightly noticeable (after I knew) was when he sat with a leg crossed over his lap and his jeans and the top of his sock would create a slight gap, although he was pretty careful to pull the leg of his jeans down.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 6:52 PM
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One of my students tried to "get" me at the beginning of the semester. Everyone was working quietly and he raised his hand. I walked in his direction and nodded for him to ask his question. He gestured for me to come closer, they way a student would if he wanted me to look at his work.

As I worked my way over, another student muttered "She didn't see it," so I was slightly on guard.

When I got there, he held out his hand for me to shake, which was so damn odd that I finally took stock of the situation, and saw that he was missing half of each of two fingers.

I obligingly exclaimed "Whoa! How did that happen?" and he apparently got bitten by a shark, while on vacation in Hawaii, when he was 16. Or at least that was the story. I was like, "Huh, that's wild. Get back to work."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 6:52 PM
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Also today I killed a mosquito during lecture and left a smear of blood on the wall. It was pretty gross. Plus, I was writing on the board on the side of the room, so I was about two feet away from the nearest row of students. I paused so everyone could admire the blood and then kept going.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 6:54 PM
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I'm not the one you cheer up. I am the one who cheers others.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 6:55 PM
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ALSO. The kids have started watching The Magic SchoolBus, a show from the 90s that I'd never heard of. In tonight's episode, the school bus shrunk down so that they could check out one kid's sore throat, from inside the throat.

Only the sick kid kept coughing out the school bus. So they went to his skinned knee, which was a dirty bubbling cauldron, from the perspective of the school bus, and dove in, and then followed the capillaries to the veins up to his throat. That bit with the scabby knee was so goddamn gross.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 6:57 PM
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59

That was a great show.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:04 PM
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60

I saw an amputee the other day in Newark. An older African-American woman in a wheelchair, being pushed across a busy street by a much younger man. She was missing both legs. She probably wasn't that old, either. The thought that ran through my head: "This does not look like a scene from a First World country." Obviously she wasn't a war vet, I'd guess diabetes (I'd also guess lack of quality health care).


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:06 PM
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55: A guy I knew in the Peace Corps was missing half of one finger. I probably knew the story of what happened, but I don't remember it. He lived for the moment when someone would ask a question to which the answer was "three and a half", so he could answer it by holding up that many fingers.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:29 PM
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I would like to record that I think "Just Plain Jane" is not a good pseudonym.

Is it rude to do so? Probably, but I've had a rough week, which gets me a free pass, right?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:33 PM
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I think it's a fine pseudonym. I .... I have no credibility here, do I.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:35 PM
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64

The shit I type here is recorded?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:35 PM
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60: (I'd also guess lack of quality health care)

Indeed. Health insurance; preventative care. I also wonder how many people have sufficient enough health insurance to cover what must be insanely expensive prosthetics. Prosthetics are amazing these days, but you've got to be pretty comfortably situated to have insurance to cover it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:37 PM
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66

Only if you'd like to to be.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:37 PM
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67

AMONG OTHER THINGS.


Posted by: OPINIONATED NSA | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:39 PM
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68

Please don't record anything with a five in it. That's part of my PIN and I'm afraid of identity theft.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:41 PM
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69

Any other numbers we should avoid?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:45 PM
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666 and 42.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:46 PM
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One through nine, if you please.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:47 PM
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72

Zero's fine.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:47 PM
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73

54: He could crouch, spin around to his right or left, climb ladders or stairs, went running, played basketball, etc.

And all that in a lab setting didn't give it away that something was amiss?

Virtually all the amputees I see on a day-to-day basis (and there are quite a few) are clearly diabetic. It gets really fucking depressing to see people in their late 40s/early 50s who have missing limbs, especially when they're clearly still drinking heavily and have faces that look like over-ripe fruit due to sleeping rough in Minnesota winters and other trauma.

On the other hand, probably 20-30% of the wheelchair-using people I see around town are young black men who have obviously met with that fate due to gunplay. Have I mentioned how depressing it gets to ride the bus in my neighborhood?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:51 PM
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I see a lot of amputees in our hometown, but I figure a few are Vietnam perhaps but mostly diabetes or accidents. It's essentially never in a demographic where I feel I could ask.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:52 PM
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My gym has a bunch of active duty people working out as part of rehab, or just to stay in shape. Definitely makes me think twice before saying something cynical about vets.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 7:58 PM
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||

Is it normal for students to email giant lists of questions at 11 PM the night before a homework assignment is due? And why is my class this semester so much more fucking obnoxious about this sort of thing than the one I taught last semester?

|>


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:00 PM
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I've been seeing a lot of young amputees the last five or so years. Of course, I live and work near a large hospital, so. Also, everytime I hear of some violent act committed by someone who might've served I wonder about traumatic brain injuries.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:04 PM
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Oh so that Courtney Love thing a billion years ago? Where she wanted someone to cut her toast soldiers for her breakfast? Slightly less precious and annoying than I thought, since that just means strips of toast, as I have just found out. I thought she wanted someone to cut her little man-shaped pieces of toast. Lorry! Pram!


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:08 PM
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79

Essear, my friend, you need a twenty-four hour reply policy.


Posted by: Mme. Merle | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:08 PM
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I would like to record that I think "Just Plain Jane" is not a good pseudonym.

Oh, c'mon, I can't change it again. LB would totally ban me, and who could blame her?

Ideas?


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:16 PM
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76 and 79: I had a classmate who *called* one of our professors at 10pm at home. I told him not to do it, but he knew that the professor would be up. I thought it was incredibly impertinent, especially since this professor is quite formal and called us all by our surnames.

*Once this classmate of mine came in to class kind of tired, and somebody remarked on it. The classmate said, "I pulled an all-nighter." To which the professor replied: "Me too."


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:17 PM
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If you want to keep playing up the Catholic angle, there has to be at least one saint's name awesome enough to adopt as a pseudonym (as you take your commenter's vows, I suppose? have you taken them already?). Some of them were very peculiar.

Quite unrelatedly, I did not realize until the Google image search that Klee's Angelus Novus was a popular subject for tattoos.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:27 PM
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80: You could follow the former JMCQ's lead and just use your real name, Jupiter Pluto Janus.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:29 PM
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84

80: You still don't like my idea from before?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:29 PM
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83: John Paul Jones?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:32 PM
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John Paul Jorge Ringo?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:33 PM
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Ideas?

Oh my god.

Awesome babe.
Just try me.
Oh yeah?
Perfectly goddamned delightful. Sorry, that's taken.

Or you could go the sciency/organic route:

Sedimentary rock.
Fiddlehead.
Raptor, just raptor.

OR. You could go the grammar/speech route. Plenty of people do that.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:35 PM
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You could go the grammar/speech route.

"Vocal Fry Tone".

Which was prominently featured on Parks and Recreation today.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:38 PM
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89

Sainte Scolastique?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:39 PM
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Jehoshaphat Paternoster Jellicoe


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:39 PM
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89: JPJ is from Duluth?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:40 PM
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Other considerations: do you want your pseud to be easily googleable. I chose mine in part because anyone randomly searching for it will come up against numerous links to "parsimonious".


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:41 PM
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So, rap in Suomi


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:43 PM
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92: Actually, it looks like you'll be confused more with persimmons in connection with the blog.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:45 PM
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I can't remember my idea from before. I don't think it was Wry Cooter.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:45 PM
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88: Huh. I had not known about this vocal fry thing before.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:47 PM
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84: Mary Jane? I like it, sure, but must I keep the "Mary"? What if I'm trying to transition away from the Catholic angle?

But if I'm not trying:

If you want to keep playing up the Catholic angle, there has to be at least one saint's name awesome enough to adopt as a pseudonym

Well, sure. St. Therese of Lisieux, affectionately known as the "Little Flower" (one of my mother's favourite saints, btw). But this moniker doesn't exactly signify "internet-ready," now, does it? Please don't ask me to distribute wooden rosaries to children, people. There just aren't enough hours in a day.


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:49 PM
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If you want to keep playing up the Catholic angle, there has to be at least one saint's name awesome enough to adopt as a pseudonym

How about Queen Chimnechild of Burgundy? Mother of the greatest French name for a dog, Dagobert II.

Though she was just the wife, mother and grandmother of saints.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:50 PM
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Saint Odo of Cluny?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:54 PM
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100

Chimney-children should be allowed to have some burgundy. Makes their soot exposure a little easier to take.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:55 PM
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101

There's a Saint Aphrodisius?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:56 PM
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102

Saint Ælfheah of Canterbury.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 8:56 PM
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103

Saint Aphrodisius and Pope Lando are the ones who did the ads for St. Ides malt liquor.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:17 PM
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St. Therese of Lisieux, affectionately known as the "Little Flower". . . . But this moniker doesn't exactly signify "internet-ready," now, does it?

It's a start! The next step is détournement, although I can't think of anything good that sounds like Lisieux offhand (I assume we can safely reject "délicieux" on grounds of blasphemy). And I probably shouldn't be giving advice on pseudonymizing anyway, though I suppose everyone says that. For some reason I thought there were more saints with appealingly odd Latin names than there seem to be, but I'm not turning up much besides Scholastica and Perpetua and the usuals.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:21 PM
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105

102: It would be cool to be addressed as an Anglo-Saxon anchorite.

But once we get into the mid-to-early medieval period, why not style myself a female descendant of Niall of the Nine Hostages, or something like that?

(Btw, anyone who seriously claims direct descent from Niall of the Nine is pretty much ignorant and/or seriously deluded).


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:22 PM
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The Popes had wacky Latin names. I think the Saints being local celebrities were mostly known by their names in the local vernacular.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:25 PM
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You know, another way to approach it is that you were IA, then you were MC, and now you're what? This is the aspirational approach to pseudonymizing.

Not that there's any pressure here. You could be a nonsense word, like "ogged" or something. I see some favor there. Kind of freeing, if you see what I mean.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:26 PM
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Saint Bunnyface


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:37 PM
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105 But isn't everyone with any Irish ancestry a descendant of him?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:38 PM
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Saint Cooter of Rye


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:44 PM
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St. Attracta! I accept that this is no longer really constructive.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:45 PM
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Only 2 or 3 millions, according to wikipedia. He wasn't Wilt Chamberlain, after all!


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:45 PM
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I'm afraid googling Mister Smearcase leads straight here, or I assume so. It is otherwise just a throwaway line in a movie plenty of people have never seen.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:45 PM
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||
We should have a symbol for "according to Wikipedia" something like ĄШ maybe.
||>


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:49 PM
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My neighborhood amputees are 50% "older" African-Americans (50s-60s) with diabetes related issues, and about 50% young African-American men, who are most likely the victims of gunshot violence. None of the amputees have prosthetics. Usually the older people are in wheel chairs, and the young men often hobble around on crutches, with the stump covered in a dirty sock.


Posted by: Britta | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 9:58 PM
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114: It should be ATW, so that every time I read it I'll think At the Wineshaft instead.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 10-10-13 11:24 PM
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Saint Neot, because Neot is pronounced NEAT.
Saint Bees, because BEES.
Sir Loin, because King James enjoyed his loin of beef so much he dubbed it SIR LOIN OF BEEF.

Sir Loin of Beef is a top pseud in my opinion. The story is untrue of any king, least of all either of the James.


Posted by: tierce de lollardie | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 3:59 AM
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Yes, I've noticed this, usually in railway stations, since the late 2000s (i.e, the ramp up of the British commitment to Afghanistan); young, fit men in rugby shirts, often with subtle unit affiliation, missing a leg.

Meanwhile, blogging friend of mine has just finished his third tour. Which will be the last, both thanks to the law governing reservists and also because the next rotation is the last one and out by 2015. It's going to be over, and what has been achieved?


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:14 AM
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97, 104: Fiorella?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:19 AM
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I assume we can safely reject "délicieux" on grounds of blasphemy noun-adjective gender disagreement.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:29 AM
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It's going to be over, and what has been achieved?

I'm going to treat that as a rhetorical question.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:37 AM
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My grad school advisor was missing the top third of one of his fingers, and it was amazing how many people had never noticed it.

At one of my former clients, there was woman who was missing one of her thumbs. She was super hot, but terribly self-conscious about the thumb, and contrived at every moment of the day to keep it hidden from view - by keeping her hand under the table, by holding a smart phone or a sheaf of papers in such a way that it was covered, etc. I would not have noticed the missing thumb if someone else hadn't pointed it out to me, and thereafter I became conscious of the myriad concealment techniques she employed.

On a couple of occasions, I have first become conscious of someone's missing fingers during the act of shaking hands with them. That's an uncomfortable moment, as you are looking someone in the eye and trying not to evince any surprise or unease at a discovery that is perforce surprising and unsettling.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:41 AM
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James Doohan, "Scotty" on the original Star Trek, lost his middle finger on Juno Beach at Normandy due to a panicked Bren gunner. I think it's only briefly noticeable where he's carrying an armload of Tribbles.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:56 AM
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On a couple of occasions, I have first become conscious of someone's missing fingers during the act of shaking hands with them.

It happened to me just the other week. It was even more awkward because I've known the guy for a couple of years now. I just have shaken his hand without noticing on at least a couple of occasions.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 5:26 AM
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And he didn't know who Rahm Emanuel is, so my attempt at humor backfired.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 5:32 AM
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And he didn't know who Rahm Emanuel is, so my attempt at humor backfired.

I just go with "So that Saudi judge gave you a lenient sentence, did he? First time offender, I suppose?"


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 5:39 AM
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James Doohan, "Scotty" on the original Star Trek, lost his middle finger on Juno Beach at Normandy due to a panicked Bren gunner.

Never make rude gestures at an emotional person carrying a light machine gun.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 5:48 AM
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If you want to keep playing up the Catholic angle

Juicifer, Beelzebabe.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 5:56 AM
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Wholly C.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 5:56 AM
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Holly Gonightly or Grandmaster Nocturnal E.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 6:00 AM
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Those aren't for MC/JPJ. We need to save them in case we get a couple who want related names and who wet the bed.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 6:14 AM
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Retention of current initials is good.

Magisterium Catholic
Myra Creckincridge
Misty Canuck
Margaret Catcher
Molybedenum Carbonite
Shorter:
Molly Carbon
Mauch Chunk (what Jim Thorpe, PA used to be called*).

*In the tradition of PA towns going from bad to worse names. Near me Hoboken PA became Blawnox back in the day. Relatedly, see company towns Colver (from Coleman and Weaver Mining) and nearby Revloc (railroad junction between was known as Manver).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 6:42 AM
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Eva Brawn probably won't work here, but if anybody needs a roller derby name, it might work.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 6:45 AM
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Monts Chic-Chocs.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:23 AM
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Macho Pikachu.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:24 AM
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Malefi Carum
Mad Chester
Miss Characterize
Mostly Celtic
Mythos Cthulu


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:25 AM
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Maybe Callme


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:26 AM
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Mildly Catatonic.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:28 AM
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Mister Casesmear


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:28 AM
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M Chammer


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:33 AM
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My Cows


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:38 AM
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Material Curl


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:39 AM
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More Cowbell


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:44 AM
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Maybe Cakes.

|| I love that Boehner's daughter married a Rasta man. |>


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:45 AM
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MOAR CRACK


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:45 AM
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Sen Tester lost several fingers to a meat saw. Nobody makes a thing out of it, until some stupid DC Republicans ran an ad showing him with all his fingers.

http://missoulian.com/news/local/gop-attack-ad-shows-five-fingered-tester-shaking-obama-s/article_45cb3456-eae7-11e0-aca2-001cc4c03286.html


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:48 AM
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I was trying to think of the "worst" pseud, aside from the single or two letter combos that piss of LB. I think bad metal band names that would be gross to see over and over, like "CarcassFuck" or terrible email addresses like Misty_Angel_4fun63.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:57 AM
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Buck spent a decade writing about IBM and restraining himself from referring to Lou Gerstner as "Nine-Fingered Louis".

(Gerstner lost part of a finger fixing his own lawn mower:

Lord Finchley tried to mend the Electric Light
Himself. It struck him dead: And serve him right!
It is the business of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 7:58 AM
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I was trying to think of the "worst" pseud,

Have I mentioned the guy I knew who called his girlfriend Cunty Poopchute? That would be a pretty awful pseud.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:07 AM
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I had a gym teacher in high school who was missing a finger. Once he showed my friend how to properly hold a basketball and my friend said, "like this?" while bending one of his fingers back which got him beaned on the head.

One of the half-assed high school bands I was in was named after him: Steigerwald's Missing Finger or SMF (so alternatively, "Sick Mother Fuckers").


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:07 AM
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149: Called his girlfriend that once? Surely not regularly.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:09 AM
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148: I think I've mentioned this before, but I went to high school with a guy who was responsible for his cousin losing a toe and then got everyone to call his cousin Nine-Toes.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:11 AM
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MOLE COCK


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:13 AM
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149, 151 I'd be surprised if they stayed together for very long.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:14 AM
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Have I mentioned the guy I knew who called his girlfriend Cunty Poopchute?

How long was he able to keep this girlfriend?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:15 AM
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154 Yeah the cadence is all wrong. Add Mc and it flows better.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:16 AM
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Its good to see that we are all on the same page here.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:16 AM
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SOUNDS CRAZY, DOESN'T IT? IT WORKS.


Posted by: OPINIONATED PUA | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:16 AM
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||

Oh, Millennial Generation, you poor bastards, I feel so sorry for you when I look at the candidates we are turning down for entry level jobs. Perfect grades from an elite university? Impressive work experience? Leadership position in a challenging extracurricular? Not enough any more, suckahz!

This is for kind of a plum job, of course. But I assume the pressure cascades downward, with our rejects going on to take the slightly shittier jobs, and the graduates with lesser credentials displacing people at the next level down, and so on.

|>


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:18 AM
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151, 154, 157: They were one of these couples that got together in high school and should have broken up years earlier, because they more or less openly loathed each other, but didn't have the wisdom that comes with age (I guess, or something) to end the relationship. They were still together when I broke up with the boyfriend (a nephew of David Stockman, to tie threads together) whose friends they were, about a year later.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:19 AM
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Because I had the wisdom to cheat on David Stockman's nephew so that I wouldn't feel the pain of a breakup as I started a new, exciting relationship.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:24 AM
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Argh. College drove me mad like that. I was completely inhibited about flirting/approaching anyone who was in a relationship, but everyone I was interested in seemed to move from relationship to relationship via overlap/cheating, leaving no window in which they were single. I blame you.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:30 AM
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159. So what did the successful candidate offer? Funding a new physics centre?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:49 AM
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This is for kind of a plum job, of course. But I assume the pressure cascades downward, with our rejects going on to take the slightly shittier jobs, and the graduates with lesser credentials displacing people at the next level down, and so on.

No, the slightly shittier jobs go to people who were recently fired from plum jobs. Your rejects go on to become unpaid interns, and the graduates with lesser credentials go back to school for an MBA.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 9:01 AM
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I have a memory of suddenly noticing that someone had one or more fingers missing a portion after the last joint, and being surprised that I had never noticed it before. But annoyingly, this memory doesn't go any further; I can't even say if this was someone on TV or in real life.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 9:03 AM
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Obviously, you've defingered somebody and repressed the memory.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 9:08 AM
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160 made me think of The Last Picture Show's hilarious portrayal of high schoolers who hate each other dating.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 9:28 AM
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OK - - this is serious now. How realistic is the possibility of you setting up a meeting between me and David Stockman, so I can knee Stockman in the balls? Let's make this happen.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 9:28 AM
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I'm not in touch with the ex, out of sheer inertia, mostly. But I'm FB friends with his sister. I just checked, and she is not FB friends with her brother nor her uncle.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 9:37 AM
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They were proper liberals who didn't think very highly of him, to defend their good name.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 9:38 AM
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I guess cheating on his nephew is yeoman's work, but I want to bring the pain more directly.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 9:40 AM
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You want to cheat on David Stockman?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 9:45 AM
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Call him a Cunty Poopchute while you knee him in the bals.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 10:10 AM
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I have a memory of suddenly noticing that someone had one or more fingers missing a portion after the last joint, and being surprised that I had never noticed it before.

It's Stanley's dad. And that's his elbow, silly.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 10:15 AM
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Further to 159, I don't feel as sorry for the one who listed "university equestrian team" under extracurriculars and "ski instructor at [exclusive Swiss ski resort]" and "intern in wealth management at [exclusive Swiss private bank]" under work experience. I have a feeling she's going to do OK whatever the state of the economy.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 10:49 AM
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162 was my problem too. Eventually I just went ahead and dated someone who was already in a long-distance relationship.

Then we broke up, and she started dating a good friend of mine who's a much better match for her, and now they're happily married.

There is no moral to the story.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 12:22 PM
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175: Nowadays only people who were on the Senatorial Team qualify for the plum jobs.

And the Equestrian Team takes the best jobs that would have gone to the Plebs.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 12:24 PM
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120: I left it in its dictionary form out of overwrought respect for religious sensibilities. (This is actually true, if inexplicable.) It's okay, though; I checked the rest of my resumée for typos and its all clear, so please let me know when you might be scheduling your interviews so I'll be sure to be home from Paris thanx.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 1:31 PM
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Stockman has actually gone to some fairly different places politically and famously recoiled at the reality of the Reaganesque greedheads. Not saying he's not a twit.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 1:41 PM
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Yes, but only by becoming a fiscal conservative douchenozzle to win Broderite cred so he still gets kneed in the balls under Halfordismo.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 1:49 PM
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181


120: ?????


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 2:14 PM
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Ah, so Halfordismo rolls around on balls?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 2:14 PM
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Sorry, I meant "178: ?????"


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 2:14 PM
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Huge ones, Stormcrow. Huge.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 2:33 PM
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Oh never mind. The joke was "you're hiring per 159, and you caught a grammar mistake in my comment, so after explaining (accurately if oddly) why the mistake was there, I will pretend to be an entitled Millennial who submitted a resume to you despite being illiterate." As you can now see, it was hilariously witful and totally worth your 43 seconds of bafflement.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 3:20 PM
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43 seconds of bafflement

Hey, that's the name of my amatuer porn video.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 3:25 PM
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"One Girl, No Cup" wasn't considered?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 3:28 PM
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Yeah, I can see how this might have been a little clearer in my head than it was on paper. In trying to become more efficient at communication I have only learned to confuse more quickly.

186: the weird thing is that it's 3 hours long.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 3:33 PM
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I now realize I can forgive a lot of a man advocating a 30% wealth tax.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 3:37 PM
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186: "OK great, so you've eaten cheese for 3 days straight. Now explain to me what I'm supposed to do again?"


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:11 PM
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I guess it might be comforting to believe that the job market operates in some kind of logical, hierarchical, predictable order, but for many people I think the answer to the question of why they did or did not get a particular job is more along the lines of "who the fuck knows?"


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:12 PM
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188:

In trying to become more efficient at communication I have only learned to confuse more quickly.

That's a kind of efficiency, I guess.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:13 PM
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186 and 190 made me laugh.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:15 PM
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187 Give it a moment's thought, Moby. I know you can do better than that (LHF IYKWIMAIKYD).


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:23 PM
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I thought I went for the low hanging fruit.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:45 PM
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Maybe I just didn't get it. Or something.

In other news Charles Duelfer sounds a lot like Ted Levine.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 4:51 PM
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for many people I think the answer to the question of why they did or did not get a particular job is more along the lines of "who the fuck knows?"

Followed by wild speculation! Did he ace the interview? Was it the old boys' network? Or does the boss have a baffle fetish?


Posted by: torrey pine | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 5:32 PM
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It's Stanley's dad. And that's his elbow, silly.

Heh.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 5:47 PM
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Surely the blog needs a saint sexburga?


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:45 PM
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oh ye of little faith


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 10-11-13 8:48 PM
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