Re: Guest Post - 3: The ideal is to look better dressed but less materialistic than your students.

1

It is a safe assumption that bored students are scrutinizing your wardrobe (and body).

Student: You own a lot of sport coats.

Me: I own three.

Student: Yes, I know, I counted.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:16 AM
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Anyone who can go a semester without repeating an outfit owns a lot more clothes than I do.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:20 AM
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My evidence professor favored a green shirt exactly the color of the chalkboard, making him look distractingly like a disembodied floating head. He wore it at least once a week.

I mentioned it as distracting in my evaluation, which was probably rude of me.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:20 AM
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I checked my privilege and found it to contain a dozen polo shirts in various colors and two pairs of jeans, so I cycle through those.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:21 AM
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One of my undergrad philosophy professors worse the same sport coat every day. He was a fashion plate, comparatively. Another wore white, short-sleeved, Oxford shirts everyday. One wore Birkenstock sandals with no socks every day (he was very, very large and I assume the nerves in his feet just gave up trying to send messages his brain when they felt pain). These were all men and I never heard of any of them hitting on a student.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:21 AM
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Heh, I have three sports coats, also. Although I tend to wear just one of them most of the time.

On the other hand, I'm not being scrutinised by students, and in the academic IT/library environment, I'm pretty well-dressed.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:25 AM
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More than one at a time looks ostentatious.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:26 AM
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What if you're playing golf AND IT HAPPENS?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:27 AM
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I'm amazed people can keep even track of what they wear for a semester. I don't remember what I wore yesterday.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:27 AM
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re: 7

Hah. Funnily enough, when I was about 17, I used to own 2 tailcoats, and I'd quite often wear both at once. In a sort of eccentric layered arrangement. It sort of semi-worked in a glam-rocky sort of way, although I cringe in retrospect.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:28 AM
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9: Try sleeping in your clothes - then it's easy to tell.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:28 AM
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More than one at a time looks ostentatious.

Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:28 AM
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10: I bet it did look ostentatious, though.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:29 AM
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Good job, Sifu.
More than one at a time looks ostentatious.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:29 AM
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It is a safe assumption that bored students are scrutinizing your wardrobe (and body).

And posture. The last class I took had a professor who stood exactly like Velma from Scooby Doo. Including the hand-thing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:32 AM
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re: 13

Yes, in a sort of Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror sort of wya.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:32 AM
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The last class I took had a professor who stood exactly like Velma from Scooby Doo.

Oh god, I might do this.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:34 AM
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I bet you don't do the hand-thing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:35 AM
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I do have a colleague who says she never wears the same thing twice in an entire semester.

This reminds me of my AP Biology teacher, who claimed to have a different suit for every day of the school year, and kept track of which ones he'd already worn by facing them the opposite direction in his closet. Which must have been immense. As far as we could tell he was not exaggerating but who knows. (Very strange guy but definitely one of the very best teachers I had in HS.)


Posted by: potchkeh | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:42 AM
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Working at home, this is obviously a non-issue on a daily basis, but, since I don't have a lot of need/opportunity to dress nattily*, I worry that I might repeat the same outfits too often. That is, I only wear Pant A plus Shirt B twice a month, but it's to the same two recurring meetings, or whatever. How many repeats before someone notices?

*as I've mentioned before, if you're not one of those architects who just wears black, you get to wear relatively interesting/colorful clothes and still read as appropriately professional. So we're talking e.g. stylish pants and a distinctively colored/patterned shirt.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:42 AM
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the hand-thing.

That's a different thread.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:43 AM
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I have a miniscule work wardrobe, and wear exactly the same thing constantly. (Machine-washable 'dress' pants and cotton sweaters in the winter, cotton dresses in the summer.) I figure none of my coworkers cares, and they all look like hell themselves mostly, so noone's in a position to complain. For court, I figure a suit's a suit, and no one is paying attention enough to remember if it's the same gray suit or a slightly different gray suit.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:46 AM
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This reminds me of my AP Biology teacher, who claimed to have a different suit for every day of the school year, and kept track of which ones he'd already worn by facing them the opposite direction in his closet.

Hawaii wears every outfit in her closet on a strict rotation, and gets frustrated that "weather" exists and interferes. Also we are not allowed to put her clothes away for her.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:46 AM
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Although, I guess if you have a prime number of shirts, and a different prime number of pants - and you just rotate through them - you could go a long time wearing different outfits without wearing the same thing twice. 11 pairs of pants and 13 shirts ought to cover you for a semester, and you wouldn't even have to keep track.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:48 AM
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I guess I do have one pretty pale blue suit that I try not to repeat on the same case too often.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:48 AM
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I never made it to the professing level, only being a TA. in this role I think I dressed...inappropriately? interestingly? I had a student ask me as we both walked in to the lecture hall to listen to the prof, "are you going to a rock concert after this?" this was really stupid. because it was 11am. also, whut? naturally I remember mostly: I was wearing riding boots, black tights, a blue velvet skirt with lace edging, something for a shirt (one hopes for knecht's sake it was the semi-transparent one with black beading) and my floor length black leather coat that buttons flat all up to the top like a clerical robe (one of my proudest possessions but currently on permanent loan to my sister since narnia doesn't offer a lot of opportunities.)

I have enough vintage/weird clothes that I just yesterday thought "I've never worn this outfit before (this combination), and in fact no one in human history has worn it until now." people relatively often give me clothes because they think, "al is the only person who will ever actually wear this." my psychiatrist is giving me her mom's burnt-velvet cheongsam because neither she nor her daughters will wear it. she was worried it was boundary crossing behavior but seems to have deemed it OK. I own my own business so I wear whatever I feel like with the proviso that sweat can't show (no air-con, just fans). I'm not sure whether I would fail at dressing for a "real" job or would have endless fun coloring inside the lines. be known as a person who dresses oddly, I think. it might even prevent people from taking me entirely seriously. as a TA I got fashion commentary in the anonymous semester-end surveys.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:51 AM
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This week, I have worn the same pants to work every day. In my defense, I only worked four days this week. I have been rotating the same three shirts for a couple of weeks now.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:51 AM
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Yes, but do the regulars at the bar notice?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:58 AM
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My family has very little occasion to dress up, or even to look moderately professional. I was organizing photos and combined two events years apart because everyone was wearing the same outfits.

There was a big deal prof in his late 40s who taught a seminar course (as in, how to give a seminar) who wore ripped jeans, torn T-shirt (often with something like a cartoon T-rex on it), and a navy blue hoodie daily. He started his seminar course explaining to the students that unless they got more grant money than anyone else in the university, they would need to dress professionally when they gave talks.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:58 AM
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I was going to say that I honestly can't remember any article of clothing worn by any of my professors except then I remembered a tie that had some kind of flashing light that a library science professor wore. He explained it was a Father's Day present and his philosophy was that he had to wear it once, and it was best to get it over with as soon as possible.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:58 AM
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The only teacher clothing I remember is my 9th grade geometry teacher who wore the same skanky pair of unwashed jeans every single day.

He was later blackmailed by a prostitute, didn't pay to keep her quiet, and ended up getting divorced as a result.

Moral of the story: wash your jeans from time to time.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:03 AM
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The only incident along these lines that I remember is when I turned up for a tutorial wearing exactly the same clothes, and I mean exactly, as my tutor. This was commented on.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:05 AM
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With most of our stuff packed for the move, I only have two long-sleeve shirts available that I want to wear. This means that I'm repeating outfits more often than usual. I don't think anyone has noticed.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:07 AM
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Yes, but do the regulars at the bar notice?

I wear different clothes there, because I don't want to go to work smelling like a bar, especially a bar that allows smoking.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:13 AM
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The only incident along these lines that I remember is when I turned up for a tutorial wearing exactly the same clothes, and I mean exactly, as my tutor. This was commented on.

Not in your fancy college robes or something, right?


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:14 AM
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The only distinctive thing I wear is a three-piece suit - I figured with some level of job security I could try something a bit more adventurous than the regular interview suit. My norm, though, is cycling through chinos and five pastel shirts. Once I, my supervisor, and my friend/co-worker all showed up in pink shirts, which we got a laugh from.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:19 AM
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29: he was african-american, right? that's how he got away with dressing so...oh, no. god, henry louis gates was wearing something so anodyne when he got arrested at his house. wait, OMG jeans! well, and a polo.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:21 AM
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unless they got more grant money than anyone else in the university, they would need to dress professionally when they gave talks

Although nobody in my grad department did much dressing up,* our MacArthur award winner aggressively dressed down, just to make sure everyone realized how above it all he was.

*This was Texas, where the joke was you could easily spot the deans, they were the only ones wearing ties.**

**This was the early 90s, all the deans were men.


Posted by: potchkeh | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:22 AM
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My work uniform is mostly shirtdresses + riding boots or basic trousers + button-up shirt. I like playing around with textures and colors, so while I have a couple of professory tweedy/corduroy jackets, one is saffron and the other is turquoise. My life would be easier if I owned more black and gray but I'm too much of a magpie.

I try to keep it pulled together because on me, at least, casual and unstructured leans frumpy far too quickly. I usually don't wear jeans for that reason -- anything that isn't too tight to teach in pulls momjeans on me.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:39 AM
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I wear a suit to work every day, except occasionally in the height of summer. At the moment I am rotating 3 (black, navy & grey) trouser suits - I hate tights of the "pantyhose" variety so I don't have any skirt suits. I vaguely intend to buy one sometime for occasional court appearances. The advent of spring means I have more or less switched from suit+fine wool jumper to suit + shirt/blouse with vest/camisole underneath. Also cotton instead of wool socks but that might have been premature.
Summer variants include tshirt ish tops instead of shirt/blouse, linen suit, on really warm days sandals, linen skirt with bare legs, and non matching or no jacket.
I badly need new shoes as my current pair are in bits, but I have such dodgy feet it's very difficult to get anything that doesn't hurt and looks tolerable.


Posted by: emir | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:41 AM
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35: there are fine gradations to the sort of gowns you can wear - a humble undergraduate like me would have a thing like a waistcoat with aspirations towards being a hospital gown, while my tutor would have had something rather more splendid. No, it was just chinos plus casual shirt, nothing too unusual for either of us - just a weird coincidence.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:54 AM
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AB teaches once a week, which makes it easier not to repeat, but it's a 2 1/2 hour course, so I imagine that the students have ample opportunity to note and subsequently recall her outfit.

My HS was full of metalheads (inexplicably called "sweats"), many of whom wore the jean jacket with metal band ironed on the back look. My (adorkable, great) chem teacher ironed a picture of Einstein* onto the back of his lab coat.

*no iconic chemists, I suppose


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 8:02 AM
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41: I've probably told the story of an early date with Buck when he showed up to take to me to the opera and discovered that we were both wearing similarly styled navy suits with a chalk-stripe. We looked like a vaudeville routine.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 8:06 AM
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re: 35 / 41

Yeah, I have a set of 'dress' Glasgow MA robes, which are pretty great.* They give you Batman-like shoulders, and hang in a 'just dropped silently from a brownstone roof' sort of way. A couple of times, going to formal dinner, I had people remark on them.

Undergraduates wear pathetic little shorty-robes, and standard Scholars or MA type gowns are longer.

* although I'm entitled to wear a doctors' undress gown, and/or one of those fancy coloured jobs, depending on occasion, and, for that matter, a B.Phil gown, but I've never owned any of them.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 8:53 AM
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It's one of the less emphasised aspects of institutional sexism that men can get away with far fewer outfits than women. A bloke can buy a couple of identical grey suits on a twofer and wear them to work until his arse comes through the seat of the pants. But if a woman did that she'd be regarded as suspiciously eccentric.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 9:02 AM
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I love 43.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 9:04 AM
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45: Depends on the arse, doesn't it?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 9:10 AM
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I had 43 happen, too, though not at the opera. I had on a yellow sweater short-sleeved sweater and plaid skirt, she had a yellow polo shirt and plaid pants. I eventually stripped down to my undershirt and did indeed find out people had been laughing at us in the concert line.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 9:21 AM
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Could not confine myself to lawyer lady pantsuits day in day out if my life depended on it. Do haul out the court sober drag as required but definitely tend towards jacket with more interesting silhouette etc. Day to day its colorful dresses. Regularly have colleagues (women) remark positively and somewhat wistfully on my clothes.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 9:39 AM
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I eventually stripped down to my undershirt and did indeed find out people had been laughing at us in the concert line.

I'm not entirely clear on the cause and effect here.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 10:44 AM
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Academic robes are weird. The head of our department, who boasted a PhD in Strategic Studies from A/berdeen, would appear at big events at R/oyal H/olloway in what she claimed was the correct robe for that degree, but which looked remarkably like a sexy-santa outfit. Obviously if you have a PhD in Strategic Studies from A/berdeen you can claim anything is the academic garb and nobody will be any the wiser.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 10:58 AM
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One of my Russian profs had two, maybe three very nice dressy outfits, and she repeated them all year. We got a lecture one day on having fewer nicer clothes. We also got a lecture on how American men don't know how to treat women like ladies.

Our marital property lecturer in law school had suits that were so nice that even I noticed them. Some of my friends anticipated her wardrobe as one of the highlights of the class.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 11:00 AM
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Love love love 51


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 11:01 AM
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50: For having previously been dressed alike before I decided I couldn't take it anymore.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 11:17 AM
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henry louis gates was wearing something so anodyne when he got arrested at his house. wait, OMG jeans! well, and a polo.

He actually made a point of bringing up what he was wearing in an interview, which IIRC was trousers and a blazer. You can't arrest people in blazers!


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 11:18 AM
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Re: 51

Heh. There is indeed a whole class of ceremonial doctoral robes that are red with white fur. No little shorts or boots, though.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 11:22 AM
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Oxford provides a handy table of academic dress (7 types for doctors!) against the appropriate occassion:

https://www.admin.ox.ac.uk/statutes/regulations/48-012.shtml#_Toc28140507

Number 6 being quasi-Santa.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 11:27 AM
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Oxford provides a handy table of academic dress (7 types for doctors!) against the appropriate occassion:

https://www.admin.ox.ac.uk/statutes/regulations/48-012.shtml#_Toc28140507

Number 6 being quasi-Santa.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 11:27 AM
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54: No, I meant how did stripping to your undershirt reveal the mockery of your fellows?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 12:28 PM
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59: It meant I was able to a group of acquaintances who were laughing about the couple who'd dressed alike, not realizing I was half of it.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 12:29 PM
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I always think I'm a clothes horse and pay far too much attention to fashion, but I realize now that I never really notice what my professors wear/wore. I dimly remember thinking that my accounting professor last semester had a pretty good sense of fit but a poor color sense, which was surprising since usually it's the other way around, but I don't really remember what he wore. My favorite professor in college had a really nice floral-y, paisley-y shawl back before shawls were really a thing. Otherwise I draw a total blank.

This concerns me now too, since I do a little bit of community-ed style teaching and although I strive to be my dapper self, I've always assumed that no one is really paying any attention...but I suppose I'm wrong.

Today I am wearing a too-informal oversized charcoal sweater and black pants one step up from leggings since I was feeling rather poorly this morning and couldn't face anything more structured. I attempted to dress the whole thing up with a violent and white scarf in a traditional japanese arrow pattern, but that just makes me feel like a poodle wearing a bow and does not actually dress up the ensemble.

One of my jobs is in an administrative office and I am always seriously underdressed. Then I walk down the hall to my other job with research scientists and I am instantly transformed into the best-outfitted person around.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 12:39 PM
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The arrows make the scarf violent, naturally.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 12:40 PM
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I only remember noticing one professor's sartorial choices, possibly because it seemed like he had just one jacket but an infinite number of different colored turtlenecks.

My wife has lately been complaining that a downside of a promotion she's been offered is that she'd have to dress up more, and there's no obvious equivalent to what a man getting that promotion would do, which would be to put on a tie.

There is also the fundamental weirdness to me of the idea that this promotion, which would involve almost exactly the same work with the same group of people, is expected to produce a change in appearance. But I am assured that there's a very strong culture of dressing *exactly* at the level of your the hierarchy at her workplace.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:03 PM
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I notice the badly outdated profs more than the stylish ones. The guy who wore a tight lavender pullover sweater? The one with the Tom Selleck mustache and the too-far unbuttoned shirts that revealed large quantities of white chest hair? Yep. I taught with a woman who got student reviews about not dressing appropriately for class - apparently they noticed bralessness.

I never know what to wear to look professional. Dress slacks and a sweater is about as nice as I get. One of our managers teased me because I had to go buy new clothes for a four-day conference. Her, "You look so nice! Wait, did you just buy this?" Me, "Yes." Her, "You didn't have to do that!" Me, "Yes I did."


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:20 PM
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Trying to think what my profs wore and not much is coming up. There was one guy who wore non standard neckwear but that's about it. Very non-memorable and I can assure people that not all bored students are studying what they're wearing. Some of us just space out. But I think profs could be divided into three categories: generic business attire, generic business casual, and generic undergrad attire.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:23 PM
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I have to figure out what sports coats/button downs I have that fit me because one of the dinners at this thing I'm going to in england is jacket and tie. Hopefully jacket and tie in england means what I think it does.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:27 PM
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(Which is a jacket, and a tie, and not jeans, and not sneakers, but not necessarily a suit. If I'm wrong, do correct me somebody, won't you.)


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:31 PM
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That your sporran should be affixed with the traditional leather thongs rather than the more modern buttons? I think that's right.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:32 PM
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Hopefully jacket and tie in england means what I think it does.

Oh no, you can't get an owl at that kind of notice!


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:35 PM
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Does "look better dressed but less materialistic than your students" strike a chord with anyone else? That seems like a very precise target, and pretty good if you can hit it.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:35 PM
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Hopefully jacket and tie in england means what I think it does.

It means jacket and tie and nothing else.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:37 PM
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69: Remember that nothing looks as rented as a rented bird.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:39 PM
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72 Old mouseover!


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:41 PM
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apparently they noticed brainlessness.

A student once wrote "wear a bra" on my evaluation. I didn't know quite what to make of that, since I've never gone braless to campus. (Since the youngsters today favor very padded bras, I suppose it was probably visible nipple shape.)

Vowing to never again get a boob-related comment from a student, I bought a "teaching bra": matched perfectly to my skin tone, strapless, engineered to zero jiggle, padded thickly enough to stop a bullet. That fucker cost like $90. Then, the first day I wore it to teach, I accidentally erased part of the chalkboard with my chest.


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:42 PM
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Professors should troll their students. Men in Ed Hardy shirts, women with boob jobs. Everyone drives a white merc.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:43 PM
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That's awesome. It really is getting hard to find bras that aren't molded foam, which always feels to me a bit as if someone strapped a Muppet to my chest.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:44 PM
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"Her boobs are freakishly stationary and chalk covered."


Posted by: Opinionated Student | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:44 PM
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bralessness, obviously, fucking autocorrect


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:44 PM
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I don't know if chalkboard-erasing boob porn exists, but maybe it should.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:45 PM
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79 came out a little grosser than I intended, especially since I still think of L. as like maybe 17.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:46 PM
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Most of my college professors dressed fairly nicely, I think. I remember one or two kinda frumpy or hippieish women, but neither of them were all that outlandish, and most men were in business casual, depending on how broad a definition of that you use.

The only one that stands out to me is one of my Arabic professors, who I don't think I ever saw in anything more formal than jeans. Jean jackets, sometimes.

Teresa is always trying to get me to dress up more at work. Or at least, wear vests. They don't come naturally to me. I'm not sure how much of that is general fussing over your partner's appearance and how much is because her workplace is more formal than mine. I can't say I never see people dressing like that around here, but I certainly don't feel pressure to do so other than from her.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:47 PM
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Back in the day, bare tits resting on laptop keyboard porn was linked here.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:47 PM
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Also, Rule 34.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:47 PM
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60: OK, I thought that was possible. At least you know they weren't focused on your face or pants.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:48 PM
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Vests? I like vests, but I would have thought they were distinctly offbeat anyplace these days.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:48 PM
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Or at least, wear vests. They don't come naturally to me.

Vests under a suit coat like a robber baron or puffy, outdoorsy vests, or porn-cowboy fringe vests?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:49 PM
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I had an infamous professor (radical death of god theologian) who was still regularly wearing leisure suits to class in the early 90s. He also had this huge gun related belt buckle, like a picture of a Colt .45 Peacemaker in bronze or something.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:49 PM
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88

"God is dead and he took good taste with him."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:51 PM
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Holy shit 87 is an awesome look. Tweety, that's totally what "jacket and tie" means in England.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:51 PM
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The dude was the subject of a Time magazine cover story. He regularly trolled his students, especially believers and feminists. "Real theology is grounded in chaos and darkness whose name is Satan!" That was from his introductory remarks for the first class I took with him. Good times.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:54 PM
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70
Does "look better dressed but less materialistic than your students" strike a chord with anyone else? That seems like a very precise target, and pretty good if you can hit it.

It sounds easy to me, unless college students have started dressing up a lot in the past 10 years. When I was in college, I wore a t-shirt to class, weather permitting, flannel shirt or hoodie if it was colder, and I'm pretty sure I didn't stand out as long as the shirt wasn't ratty or profane. So looking "better dressed" than that is easy. "Less materialistic" is a bit harder, but the stereotypical tweed jacket with patched elbows would qualify. Almost any dress shirt would satisfy both requirements as long as it's not visibly pressed or antyhing.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:55 PM
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74.2 is hilarious. I wouldn't have noticed particularly with this woman except for the couple times she breastfed in class. I do remember the tank-top wearing, prodigiously unshaven medieval French Lit lady prof, but I didn't notice the state of her boobs, just her armpits. I've never gotten appearance based notes, but I have gotten, "You are a bitch."


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:55 PM
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I personally love leisure suits and would totally wear them if they came back even a little bit. Like I know these are supposed to be horrifying but I think it's kind of a great look. Rugged yet formal.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:55 PM
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Speaking of leisure suits, reading the Peter Wimsey novels (as one does), it took me a moment to realize what he was calling a "lounge suit" was basically a suit-suit.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:56 PM
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91: For the lady profs,, the fancy sweatpants should have something classy written across the ass. In Swarovski crystals.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:57 PM
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93: I like how the shirt collar is above the suit collar.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:57 PM
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- ,


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:57 PM
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86
Vests under a suit coat like a robber baron or puffy, outdoorsy vests, or porn-cowboy fringe vests?

She has given me two of the first type as presents on various occasions. I owned one of the second (not very puffy, but the same basic idea) and I've worn it maybe twice since we got together, but she seems to like it. There was a sweater-vest heirloom from her uncle or grandfather that I actually wore unprompted. I hadn't worn a white shirt in a while, but I thought it would look weird with no adornment, so it was the sweater-vest or a tie.

We've never talked about "porn-cowboy fringe vests." Maybe I should consider myself lucky.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:59 PM
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93: Like 'em all; beltless is better. Go for it!


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 1:59 PM
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98: Sweater vests make me think of Santorum.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:02 PM
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Like I know these are supposed to be horrifying

They don't writer advertising copy like that anymore (italics in the original):

BECAUSE OF THIS SPECIAL NEW LOW PRICE and because: The bold look of our popular jacket style casual suit gets the most wanted plus -- now it's 100% Dacron double knit.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:04 PM
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What with all the Dacron, I suppose laundering would be easy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:06 PM
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Both leisure suits and track suits are de rigeur for the Russian, Polish and Ukrainian gentlemen d'un certain age strolling along the esplanade at Ocean Beach of a Sunday, Halford. You just have to pick your context.

Taught myself to knit in order to make child a fair isle sweater vest, he adored it, and years later am suffering from the extraordinary pressure as he rockets towards 6 feet. No sooner do I get one finished than it starts to look a bit short.

Child also has a waistcoat made to measure by a tailor in Kabul, friend spent a year working there. He (kid) is wearing it tonight to the ballet but it may be the last time he can as in addition to height his shoulders have started to bulk up.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:08 PM
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I've got a 70's leather suede blazer in my closet. It was a hand me down from an uncle. I wore it once in a rare while during the couple years when I worked in a jacket and tie environment. I should wear it to the ajay meet up.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:08 PM
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You absolutely should.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:09 PM
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106

I've been teaching in jeans this semester but only because nothing else really fits.


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:10 PM
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Both leisure suits and track suits are de rigeur for the Russian, Polish and Ukrainian gentlemen d'un certain age strolling along the esplanade at Ocean Beach

If you see some that are young and they're drunk I'd recommend avoidance. Or at least that's true in Poland, particularly if they also have really short hair, cheap Doc Martin knock-offs are another bad sign.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:12 PM
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But all the other young, drunk people in Poland are perfectly nice.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:22 PM
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Just color scanned a marked up 70 admin record index to send to paralegal and colleagues, in process of removing staple spattered it with blood. Which shows up cheerfully red on scan. Sent it anyways as can't be bothered to mark up the damn thing again. Aaaargh.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:31 PM
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I'd sure like to know where all those leisure suits went. They're double knit polyester, so they can't have disintegrated, and yet if they were in the thrift stores we would see them on hipsters. Also, I suspect that back before the thrift stores got picked over I would have encountered a few, but I've never seen one in the wild. (Silk-satin Dior fifties cocktail dress, yes; Chanel overcoat, yes; old Ritz doorman's livery, yes; but never a polyester leisure suit.)


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:31 PM
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They all got sent to third world in 1984.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:33 PM
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How many repeats before someone notices?

Who cares? I honestly don't get the "can't wear the same outfit again" thing. I mean, I'm assuming it's been cleaned, so what does it matter? You're seeing these people repeatedly, and clearly you don't have an infinite number of outfits, so you're going to get repetition.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:34 PM
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http://doecdoe.blogspot.com/2010/05/picnic-pleather-pants-banjo.html


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:35 PM
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107:they skew retiree aged, with a high probability of berating energetically whilst walking along.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:35 PM
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Cleaned? All winter I've been wearing dirty khaki trousers. If I put on a clean pair, they got stained with salt in about two minutes anyway.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:37 PM
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They're double knit polyester, so they can't have disintegrated,

I remember one of the knocks on old-school synthetics being that they held odors incredibly strongly. They may not be in thrift shops because they were thrown out as bad-smelling.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:38 PM
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93: Like 'em all; beltless is better. Go for it!

That only works if your pants are by Sans-A-Belt.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:39 PM
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113: Holy shit are the Nova and Vega amazing.

I would wear - or admire someone else wearing - all the rest.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:43 PM
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Pseudo-Latin and artificial fabrics. Two great things that go great together.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:43 PM
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The vega is clearly designed for space travel. And the hair. Wow.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:46 PM
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Then, the first day I wore it to teach, I accidentally erased part of the chalkboard with my chest.

Priceless.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:47 PM
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The maverick would be wonderfully wearable in the right wool.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 2:48 PM
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The Vega was my parents' first new car purchase. It was sort of amazing how fast that thing rusted, as if they'd infused it with some sort of special oxidation catalyst.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 3:00 PM
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I remember having something very like the maverick in blue when I was in middle school.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 3:09 PM
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113: Those men were not afraid.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 3:26 PM
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There is lore that Sean Connery was a knitwear model way back when in his dewy youth.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 3:40 PM
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122: Wool? Is that a polyester substitute?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 3:46 PM
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126: Roger Moore was, at least


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 3:47 PM
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Young Sean Connery sort of looks like Justin Bieber.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 3:48 PM
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128: prefer the maverick to that vest, but the pullover is nice! I may have misunderstood the lore, confusing the two dudes. Would be typical, alas.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 3:57 PM
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Don't miss this one in the comments.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 4:02 PM
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87, 88: an infamous professor (radical death of god theologian) who was still regularly wearing leisure suits to class in the early 90s. He also had this huge gun related belt buckle, like a picture of a Colt .45 Peacemaker

"God will give you his Colt .45 when you pry it from his cold, dead hands." Fairly appropriate for Lent.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 4:08 PM
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131 "In Patons Fair Isle Fingering"

Not while you're wearing those pullovers you won't.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 4:09 PM
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It burns!!!!!


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 4:15 PM
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131: The Von Trapp Family throwbacks!


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 4:15 PM
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I keep the slacks and corduroys and dress shirts that are clean on one side of my closet and clothes that have been worn since the last time they were washed on the other. I'd probably want to keep them hung up even if I was going to only wear them once between washings, because I figure they get wrinkled less that way. But I wind up wearing most shirts at least twice between washings and pants more than that, unless they're visible in need of laundering. I'm pretty sure I look no worse than anyone else at work. Like I said, it's not very formal.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:12 PM
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Not completely off-topic: the hair of famous physicists (Oppenheimer and Bethe when they were young).


Posted by: torrey pine | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 6:48 PM
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Aww, Barry Freed, come to the knit side! We all make fingering-weight jokes here. (Or is it only a joke?)


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:14 PM
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I would like to learn to knit seven hats for seven dwarves. Then I'd be able to figure out that other thread.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:25 PM
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I think the post title is really in reference to some kind of monster that will only eat the well dressed but also prefers them materialistic? Like "you only have to outrun the person with you--not the bear itself"-principle.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:47 PM
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Man if I have to dress like Roger Moore in a sweater vest at this dinner I'm sunk.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:50 PM
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I teach in jeans, a (nice) t-shirt, and cardigan a lot. I should probably get some more different cardigans.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 7:54 PM
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139: If you're that into sweaters, there are seven swans who might like another sleeve when you're free, though fingering swans is probably not on the agenda.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 8:16 PM
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Usually they just beat you off with their wings.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 8:21 PM
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Maybe if you're not willing to knit them nettle sweaters. Actually, your version kind of sounds better on a lot of fronts except maybe the bestiality one.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 03-14-14 8:37 PM
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Thorn wins knitting jokes for like the century. Awesome.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 8:00 AM
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I'm watching Colombo and while nobody is wearing anything knitted, I can't help but admire the suits that the murderers wear.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:16 AM
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But, knowing me, if I had to wear a suit every day, I'd look like Columbo with less hair.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:23 AM
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But more eyes. Biological eyes, anyway.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:26 AM
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Peter Falk doesn't have any eyes?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:27 AM
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Fewer than you do, I think. Although I suppose I'm making assumptions about how many eyes you have.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:30 AM
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Only my optician knows.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:33 AM
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I think Dirty Harry's partner is playing one of the cops here. Somebody should do a fan fiction explaining how he transfered from LAPD to SFPD. Or vice versa.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:35 AM
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In the land of LB's mind a two-eyed Hick's a thing.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:41 AM
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You look too professorial to be Columbo. You need to be more bumbling.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:45 AM
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No way you can strangle somebody that quickly.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:49 AM
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I should make the junior lawyers I work with watch Colombo. Sounding unintimidatingly bumbling to get people to tell you stuff without getting defensive is hugely useful.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:54 AM
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Usually, but these are some shitty murderers.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 11:58 AM
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Seriously. Unforced error after unforced error.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 12:00 PM
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At that rate they'll never reach the majors.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 12:02 PM
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My godfather was a murderer on Columbo. True story.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 12:11 PM
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Any credible ranking of fictional detectives needs to include the moral equivalent of strength of schedule.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 12:13 PM
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So watch it assholes.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 12:13 PM
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If he was in the last episode of season three, I have some notes. You aren't supposed to start acting guilty until Columbo gets his hook into you.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 12:15 PM
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My godfather was a murderer on Columbo. True story.

My uncle was a reverend on Matlock. He's also known for his groundbreaking works such as "the other John Boy" on The Waltons and the lead role in Stepfather III.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 12:28 PM
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166 How could you neglect to mention that he was in Airwolf too?


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 12:39 PM
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Ha, I'd forgotten about that Airwolf episode. I look a bit like him. Him when he was on the Waltons and me at the same age.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 12:56 PM
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The Vega was my parents' first new car purchase. It was sort of amazing how fast that thing rusted, as if they'd infused it with some sort of special oxidation catalyst.

Not entirely implausible.
The Vega was assembled at the Lordstown, Ohio plant, a facility notorious for having the least a-fuck-giving workforce in the UAW. Stories of deliberate sabotage there abound.

Also, the production process was never properly engineered to support the Vega's paint chemistry, resulting in rampant quality problems.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 4:14 PM
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Now Martin Landau is doing the Patty Duke thing. Which identical twin murdered his uncle to stop him from going through their inheritance with Julie Newmar?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 7:53 PM
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169 made the world a much more interesting place before I figured out the frame of reference for "Now".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 7:57 PM
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Spoiler alert: it was both Martin Landaus. And they also killed Julie Newmar.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 8:17 PM
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168:

That Lordstown wiki is interesting about the paint problems from the speed of the production line. I was particularly interested in the engine discussion in the main Vega article.

The main problem appears to have been a too-ambitious timetable, and the teething troubles which resulted from it gave the car a reputation from which it never recovered. I think a lot of that has to be attributed to the mood of the times, the enormous cynicism that spread through the culture in the 70s.

The car itself had a lot going for it and deserved a better fate.


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 03-15-14 8:45 PM
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