Re: Guest Post: Tom & Lorenzo

1

I hadn't really imagined that my regular stops by unfogged and Tom & Lorenzo would ever converge

Why?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 8:42 AM
horizontal rule
2

In the spirit of Christ and his love, let me say that was the least amusing thing ever.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 8:42 AM
horizontal rule
3

2 to 1


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 9:04 AM
horizontal rule
4

No, definitely not.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 9:11 AM
horizontal rule
5

The captions don't seem as strong this year, but the photos are hilarious (just going by part I). Miss USA is no longer a sexy transformer, she is now a sexy mylar balloon.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 9:18 AM
horizontal rule
6

Those Tim and Lorenzo posts sound like they were written by someone who just read his first How To Be Snarky book.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 9:18 AM
horizontal rule
7

Some of the outfits were amusing.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 9:19 AM
horizontal rule
8

The commentary was not amusing.

However, they were correct in calling Miss Albania's dress badass.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 9:20 AM
horizontal rule
9

6 to 6.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 9:46 AM
horizontal rule
10

the captions were weak this year, although they improved a bit in the 3rd and 4th installments, posted after I e-mailed heebie. Honduras and Spain were definitely the best outfits.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 10:12 AM
horizontal rule
11

9 made me laugh.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 10:19 AM
horizontal rule
12

9 is wonderful.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 10:31 AM
horizontal rule
13

Hm, I notice Miss Universe Canada didn't get a mention. I wonder if that's because she went the understated, tasteful route, unlike so many others?

Bwahahahahaha no.

(I've not honestly paid much attention to Miss Universe before now. I can see why it fascinates T&L so.)


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 10:43 AM
horizontal rule
14

We thought that was your national costume.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 10:48 AM
horizontal rule
15

6 doesn't even read like attempted snark, though. (Neither, admittedly, do most of the captions, so I guess 9 is still appropriate.)

You'd think if you were going to do something like this you'd have at least a couple really good lines, something that gives a reason to keep going through the shitty lines—you've got to get to your gold, and the premise is that you caption them all, so … But that doesn't seem to be the case here, where there are (so far, in the first two posts anyway) no good lines.

It's almost as if the whole undertaking is a pro forma exercise whose real purpose is to all the T&L commenters to talk about the dresses.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 10:50 AM
horizontal rule
16

9 is funny. Asshole.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 10:52 AM
horizontal rule
17

This is pretty sterling though


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 10:52 AM
horizontal rule
18

Honduras and Spain were definitely the best outfits

It's like you didn't even see Austria.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 10:53 AM
horizontal rule
19

You forgot Poland.


Posted by: Opinionated George W. Bush | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 11:03 AM
horizontal rule
20

Is 17 supposed to go to more than just a picture? I mean, it's a fine picture.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 11:30 AM
horizontal rule
21

It goes where it ought.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 11:41 AM
horizontal rule
22

Best thing on t & l ever was Florence Welch in an emerald green sequined gown, with dinosaur style spikes down the back. Heavenly.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 12:17 PM
horizontal rule
23

And if it wasn't exactly like that I don't want to know. Memory better.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 12:19 PM
horizontal rule
24

Further 17 context though.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 12:41 PM
horizontal rule
25

I will cop to smirking at the line about feeling pretty when drained of sinful colors, though Greece, to my eyes, had a more paradigmatic version of the sacrificial virgin look. Got CotT flashbacks.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 12:41 PM
horizontal rule
26

13 is the best of all. Penis as totem or totem penis? It also reveals that there's a "Mrs. Universe" pageant, which Wiki reveals to be for the 25-45 set and hosted in Bulgaria. Apparently Canada does well in "Mrs." but not "Miss"' Universe.

Merry Christmas, and goodwill to all of you fuckfaces.


Posted by: RT | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 12:42 PM
horizontal rule
27

Further 17 context though.

Credit to them for knowing that lower DEFCON levels are more serious than higher.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 12:45 PM
horizontal rule
28

The Bulgarians who run Mrs Universe also runs the Grandma Universe pageant.


Posted by: RT | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 12:46 PM
horizontal rule
29

Frankly, and I suppose this is sexist, the Grandma Universe contestants I have now Googled are not the most attractive, even by the standards of Grandmas. Truly not a legitimate measure of who is the world's sexiest Grandma.


Posted by: Roberto Tigre | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 1:07 PM
horizontal rule
30

Are the various Universe contests supposed to determine the sexiest contestant?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 1:17 PM
horizontal rule
31

Or the most universal?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 1:21 PM
horizontal rule
32

Am I the only one who, reading the post title, keeps wanting to put "rollin' in the Benz-o" after it?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 1:24 PM
horizontal rule
33

Sex symbols of my youth who are now comfortably grandma age:

Madonna
Sharon Stone
Carrie Fisher
Rebecca De Mornay
Kim Basinger
Michelle Pfeiffer
Tawny Kitaen
Daryl Hannah
Nastassja Kinski
Kelly McGillis
Phoebe Cates
Heather Locklear
Jennifer Beals
Linda Fiorentino


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 1:34 PM
horizontal rule
34

33: Phoebe Cates is only 52! And Rebecca De Mornay is only 56!


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 1:36 PM
horizontal rule
35

33: average age of first child is about 25 y/o, I believe.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 1:40 PM
horizontal rule
36

By "comfortable" I just meant: not a stretch


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 1:41 PM
horizontal rule
37

My first child is only nine.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 2:07 PM
horizontal rule
38

Apparently Rooney Mara is super goth.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 3:13 PM
horizontal rule
39

Am I the only one who, reading the post title, keeps wanting to put "rollin' in the Benz-o" after it?

Not at all. I thought that's what it was referring to at first.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 3:16 PM
horizontal rule
40

You know Gia Goodwin from Season 2, Veronica Mars? And from the movie. (Krysten Ritter, apparently) Somehow I always assume Rooney Mara is her, and then I'm always wrong.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 3:22 PM
horizontal rule
41

I remember taking note ofthis dress* in the window of a shop in the Fillmore a couple of months ago.

* Technically the dress I noted had a different skirt half, but the bodice was the same.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 3:32 PM
horizontal rule
42

(Except the bodice was actually monochrome.)


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 3:37 PM
horizontal rule
43

So really it was only a similar dress.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-24-15 3:38 PM
horizontal rule