As usual, I am confused. Is the point of the post that it is somehow unmanly to note how handsome, or sexually attractive, another man is? If so, I think you have it backwards.
If the point was to find an excuse for admitting that you have been surfing the Internet looking for pictures of naked male celebrities, well, you now have confessed. Thank you for sharing. And for giving me one more reason to feel inadequate. At least they could have included a picture of Rodney Dangerfield or Wilford Brimley.
Errol Flynn wasn't listed on that site, so I humbly proffer my addendum.
Shit, James Dean had a surprisingly large penis.
And Jude Law, as I have heard, a disappointingly small one.
Flaccid tells you nothing. As we know from personal ads.
I am learning either that my own personal data set is skewed huge, or that Hollywood tends to the weensy.
Law's isn't that terribly tiny for flaccid, but definitely oddly shaped.
10: Whatever. You can have Javier, I'll take Gael Garcia Bernal.
I have often worried about the fact that I seem only to have slept with respectably endowed guys. What is the likelihood that I've really never had sex with someone below average? I mean, average is fine, and I'm not a sizist, but all the research out there tells me there are lots of smaller-than-average guys in the world. Are they just not that into me?
13: I think that the tiny guys are insecure and don't make moves, so we never actually meet them.
Are they just not that into me?
By definition, I'd think.
Are they just not that into me?
Uh, by your self report, apparently not yet. I am sure that there are any number of them who find you attractive, however.
14: Yeah. As it is, even the averagish fellows feel some weird need to apologize for their not-being-enormousness, which is quite a turn-off. Seriously, dudes, if you're not freakishly small, don't bring it up, especially during sex.
And Josh Duhamel, whom I followed for years on All My Children, takes a lovely picture.
even the averagish fellows feel some weird need to apologize for their not-being-enormousness
Really? Okay, I've never had that happen.
Now that a man is obliged to reveal his size before he enters a lifelong relationship with a woman, and most of us know what the normal range of sizes is, it may be true that the average size of the population will increase as those who are at the small end of the range feel unwelcome in the breeding pool.
I think I give off a vibe
You should use a smaller one, so he doesn't feel inadequate as soon as he sees it.
I think I give off a vibe.
I've met women like that. Really, folks, pointing and laughing is not nice. Nor is "small but perfectly formed" a compliment.
even the averagish fellows feel some weird need to apologize for their not-being-enormousness
Jeebus, if guys are actually doing that, I feel pity and shame for my gender.
In retrospect, the guy I slept with a long time ago who was not only small, but a premature ejaculator, and apologized (for the latter, not the former)--I probably shouldn't have said "oh, I didn't notice," should I?
Who cares? It's not like you're still with him.
29: He's *mine*, I'm telling you! Hands off!
and I'm not a sizist
You must mean in principle, that you hope you're not, that you agree it shouldn't matter. Doesn't sound as if you've had the experiences to know for sure.
31: Well, I was going to leave him be, but if you must make it so tempting. . .
I guess I am a sizist, in that I really prefer average to ginormous. The hard thing is, when guys ask you where they rank, and you say, "Well, I've had a lot bigger, but believe me, I'm relieved to see what you're offering," they apparently doubt one's sincerity.
Ginormous is contraindicated if blowjobs are on the menu.
when guys ask you where they rank
I am reacting to this similarly to SCMT in 26.
I can imagine that apologizing would sort of kill the mood.
35: That does have to be a downside of being a larger-cocked man -- the tendency of one's partners to get avoidant and complainy when oral sex comes up. Jaw cramps are no fun.
I thought there was an issue with uncomfortably bonking the cervix as well.
...when guys ask you where they rank...
This is a joke right? Do guys do this?
I've been appreciated and praised and of course pleased when it was offered, but the idea of asking seems grotesque to me.
The men in AWB-ville depress me.
41: I think it's occasionally insecurity, but more often out of a vaguely homoerotic desire for descriptions of other dude's wangs.
40: That's length, as distinct from breadth; but in any case, some women like that sort of thing and even those who don't as a rule can when sufficiently aroused.
40: Erm. Hmm. Size. Um. "Periodically referred to as Fahrenheit to Celsius conversion problem." Heh. Mm. er.
Ack, that Jonathan Rhys-Meyers person, whom I had heard of but never actually seen, is a dead ringer for the petulant poet exboyfriend. My eyes! My brain!
And yes, that means I gawped at all of the random nude actors on that website.
Javier Bardem looks like what a 110% straight guy might imagine a straight woman might find attractive.
How the fuck would you know?
once upon a time i too agreed, "a guy's size really doesn't matter," and then i had a few more experiences. ginormous can hurt. and yes, it matters sexually if you're too small. although i will note that the man i dated who was in fact very small had developed the most amazing passionate oral sex techniques to compensate... including underwater, once...
49: I am impressed.
I got tired of all the faceless behind love-scene screencaptures, many of whom I'm sure are body doubles.
I have heard that this is not the underwater sex blog.
And body doubles more-or-less automatically aren't, I take it; more like body betters.
52: Yeah, me too. "Oh look, yet another blurry picture of someone's ass."
27: Yeah, "I didn't notice" seems a bit poor form. Then again, I'm not sure there's a good response to this situation.
53: Oh, is there one? That always sounded somewhat uncomfortable to me. . .
I bow to any man who can hold his breath long enough to develop even a mediocre underwater cunnilingus technique.
I have had sex in water and found it not terribly fun, as it messes with natural lubrication and usually involves the embarrassing bobbing of/for boobs.
52, 55: I kept being surprised at those asses, though. For some reason I expect men's asses to be less fleshy.
Bobbing for boobs sounds unpleasant for both parties.
8: So, so wrong. Bad and wrong. I would watch anything with Javier Bardem. He looks good even when they fatten-and-grey- him up to play older men. And despite the fact that I would watch pretty much anything with him in it, The Dancer Upstairs really was a good movie, and I've always been kind of surprised it didn't get more notice, especially being Malkovitch's directorial debut.
But I wouldn't kick Gabriel Garcia Bernal out of bed, neither.
You mean Gael Garcia Marquez, the nonagenarian novelist/actor.
48: Lucky girl.
A little-larger-than-average weenies are great; ginormous ones are really not worth the trouble.
For sex in water, you need lots of non water soluble lube, like Vaseline. Lots. So much you feel silly for using that much. Then sex is great.
A little-larger-than-average weenies are great; ginormous ones are really not worth the trouble.
What about the idea of the Kama Sutra, that the sizes of both sexes can differ a lot, and ought to be paired accordingly? The elephant should...
Our household nickname for Gael Garcia Bernal is "the little cupcake".
67: From what I understand, this is true, but women are, as we know, much more flexible than men, since the expansion and contraction properties of a vagina are much broader than the range of a single functionally-erect penis. I think one often hits the sticking point first with oral and anal receptivity in the face of the ginormous.
For some reason I expect men's asses to be less fleshy.
Don't you have a boyfriend who's like 120 pounds? This might be affecting your expectations.
And your nickname for unmentionables is "Gael Garcia Bernal", so everyone gets confused.
the expansion and contraction properties of a vagina are much broader than the range of a single functionally-erect penis.
Yeah but with eight or nine of them things become too complex to follow.
We're aiming for complete Funes-the-Memoriousization of household nicknames by 2012.
The n-body problem is indeed notorious.
That's not what Funes the Memorious was all about, though. JZ Smith once claimed that there are societies in which after someone's death certain classes of names become off-limits and new ones have to be invented (at least by some other sub-groups), leading to an extraordinarily labile vocabulary. As you can see, all detail has fled my memory.
That's not what Funes the Memorious was all about, though.
The current state of affairs is just a side effect of the Funesation.
64.--He was a manipulating, narcissistic git, though. Only exboyfriend I've ever hated.
70.--Well, there is that, but I think Greek statuary might also have misled me a bit.
Oh, is there one?
There may or may not be an underwater sex blog, but in any case this isn't it.
Greek statuary might also have misled me a bit
Intended to; an anatomically impossible ideal.
Haven't seen The Dancer Upstairs, but I did see Y tu mamá también and #12 gets it exactly right. However, neither of them hold a candle to Josh Wald.
I saw and liked the Dancer Upstairs quite a bit. And Bardem is very good in it.
Speaking of fleshy, older-looking men, I also saw Neil Jordan's The Good Thief (with Nick Nolte) recently and really enjoyed that. And Nutsa Kukhianidze (the gamine heroine) really has an amazing speaking voice.
http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0281820/trailers-screenplay-E17265-6-3
That site was very lacking though - could have practically doubled it in size using screencaps from Rome alone! Lazy gits.
Jude Law doesn't seem particularly off the norm to me. James Dean, however, does appear to be quite hung.
Hasn't James Dean got an erection though? And the way his body is curved makes it look bigger.
18: How did it never come up in conversation that we are both All My Children fans?! Sadly, I'd mostly stopped watching by the time of all the Leo and Greenley stuff, but I loved them whenever I saw them, nevertheless.
(going away again; that just had to be noted)
80: F Scott Fitzgerald supposedly thpught he was too small, so Hemingway took him to see some statues. I don't remember any statues of erections or Apo-sized dicks.
Lord Archer bought the artwork in 1998 because he thought it would make a perfect addition to the marital home. But the shepherd caused something a storm when it was unveiled to Lady Archer, who was concerned the subject was a little too well-endowed and ordered it to be scaled down.
She is said to have shrieked: "The penis is too big" and said: "Christopher, can't you just do me a little Greek number?"
Talking of the request the sculptor said: "After an artistic tantrum, I agreed to chop off the part in question and recast a smaller version for the final bronze. I still have the original at my workshop. But I think that Mary was quite pleased with the finished article."
She is said to have shrieked: "The penis is too big"
I think we've all been there.
How can Emerson not already have picked up on "nude shepherd" + "little Greek number"?...
I don't know John's anecdote, but during Bourdain's visit to Palermo last year he noticed the diminuitive equipages of the statutes, which were probably renaissance or later, at most copies of Roman era ones. Some of this is typical BADinange, but it does seem as if conventions differed in the past. I'm tempted to say healthier and more secure, but I don't know the history of this.
A painter told me that nobody could draw a tree without in some sort becoming a tree; or draw a child by studying the outlines of its form merely,--but, by watching for a time his motions and plays, the painter enters into his nature and can then draw him at will in every attitude. So Roos "entered into the inmost nature of a sheep."
Classical sculptures seemed to minimize the sizes for reasons of composition. Great big hanging poking things would ruin the lines. Even without that, there are many who say that genitalia aren't designed for visual effect (and no, especially not Apo's, whatever he may say).
Greeks in the classical era actually favored small penises. As explained in this lovely and well illustrated book a small, uncircumcised wenie represented the natural grace and sophistication of the Athenian aristocracy. The barbarians, by contrast, had preposterously huge peckers and cut the ends off of them.
I always assumed the small members on Roman and renaissance statuary was a hold over from the Greek aesthetic.
The Jews weren't barbarians, fool.
Greeks in the classical era actually favored small penises.
This would logically follow from AWB's #36.
Someone ought to confront Victor Davis Hansen with the Small Penis / Buttsex Theory of Western Civilization.
97: Not everyone who cuts the end off of his winkie is a Jew.
98: Interestingly, the Athenian aristocracy doesn't seem to have been into anal sex with men. There are vase paintings that, based on the angle, seem to portray anal sex with women, but nothing like that for men. Most of the paintings of homosexual contact look like handjobs.
It's not the end, it's the wrapper.
Athenian aristocracy doesn't seem to have been into anal sex with men
Or so the Eupatridae would have you believe.
genitalia aren't designed for visual effect
It just takes imagination, John.
The barbarians, by contrast, had preposterously huge peckers and cut the ends off of them.
And we all know who the Greeks considered barbarians, right? Right?
Yeah yeah, and you won the civil war.
I thought you weren't Persian anyway, ogged.
-gg-d is talking about the Persians of course, an ethnic group to which he has consistently denied belonging.
Sigh. No one's seen The Dancer Upstairs, but *everyone's* seen penises.
Well they are far more common.
Eight to go! I must hurry, time is of the essence.
