a cute young Asian woman
the cute Asian chick
aviator Asian girl
I had no idea race-flirting was actually about race.
You're missing an important detail, Ogged: what was she driving?
I think the relevance of the Asian thing is that they're bad drivers; Ogged's trying to salvage his manhood through subtext.
I think the relevance of the Asian thing is that they're bad drivers they have a gigantic drag-racing scene.
Saab 900; the prime hottie car.
Ya think? Maybe if it's a convertible.
4 - Bragging about not being able to catch up with a bad driver is manhood-salvaging?
Also important to know: what does ogged drive?
Ya think?
Not so much anymore, but I swear my friends and I used to go on about how every Saab was driven by a hottie; it was like an iron rule of the universe.
Saab 900; the prime hottie car.
That's what I used to drive before I moved to the city.
what does ogged drive?
I think I've revealed this before: a Honda Accord, of course.
I wish we'd get our endorsed stereotypes right. Are Asians drag racers or slowpokey bad drivers? Someone figure it out and get back to me.
Yeah... I don't think that was flirting, Ogged. She was mocking you for having a worse car than a younger woman. I believe you even mentioned that your sedan is in beige or some other slightly metallic neutral.
She was probably listening to way better music while she smoked your ass, too.
Older Asians are slowpokey bad drivers, younger Asians are drag-racing stop-sign-runners. Any questions?
Speaking of reaction times, has the site slowed to a crawl for everybody, or is it just my connection?
We've already established that there are dueling stereotypes. Obviously the dragon ladies are drag racers and the docile & submissive Asian chics are the bad drivers (generally because they are giggling while covering their mouths and averting their eyes.)
Just restarted the web server. Tell me if it's still slow.
Not so much anymore, but I swear my friends and I used to go on about how every Saab was driven by a hottie
For us, it was VW convertibles. Saabs were pretty good, too, though; a bit ahead of the Volvo sedans, though I've always found that I get along best with the Volvo sedan drivers.
I never notice who's driving a car. Or what kind of car it is. Unless it's double- or otherwise assholishly-parked. Grayish-metal Saabs tend to be assholishly-parked.
12: What year? 2-door or 4-door?
YES GOD DAMN IT IT MATTERS
A black 4-door 2000 V6. You want the VIN?
OT, but related to the post, what's the consensus here on the oversized sunglasses fad? Are they considered a reliable proxy for anything? I for one had a visceral, negative reaction to them at first, but lately have been getting used to them.
what's the consensus here on the oversized sunglasses fad?
So 2003!
More seriously, I think it's a reliable proxy for "I would like to look like a child, albeit a very fashionable one." I have a pair.
but related to the post, what's the consensus here on the oversized sunglasses fad?
Unless the person is an Audrey Hepburn lookalike, l
udicrous and pathetic, and the best sign that someone is to be avoided. Why would anyone will themselves backwards towards the 70s?
27: Sure, it started about 5-6 years ago, but it's still going very strong. Nothing's replacing the big glasses, certainly not among the crowds I run in.
And you'll pry my old-school aviators (they probably pre-date me, actually) from my cold dead hands.
I'm getting used to them, but I will never wear them.
Of course you let someone cut in between you and the Asian hottie -- if you don't summon up a cockblocker from the whole cloth of your imagination, you'll just let traffic create one for you.
On preview, we were never meant to be, SCTM.
So 2003!
Yeah, my subsiding annoyance may have more to do with a fading of the trend than with a habituation to it.
25: OK. That wasn't flirting, that was testing to see if you were boring and married.
5, 6, 15, 18: http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/thefastandthefurioustokyodrift/
A cinematic masterpiece, despite the lack of Vin Diesel.
I've always found that I get along best with the Volvo sedan drivers
Stop hitting on my girlfriend, SCMT!
Tokyo Drift has been on cable a lot lately. Wow, is that a bad movie.
Stop hitting on my girlfriend, SCMT!
Sadly, just knowing your girlfriend drives a Volvo makes me jealous of you. You louse, you don't deserve her! At least tell me it's one of the new Volvos and not one of the old 240s.
my friends and I used to go on about how every Saab was driven by a hottie
I've only ever known one Saab owner. Nice guy, but not remotely hot.
The Fast and the Furious IV: Eekbeat Boogaloo
43: I am now forgetting your gender, but, on the assumption you're a woman, are there any similar heuristics for attractive men? Most groups of guys I've known have had some version of the car one, and there were many others. But I can't recall hearing one from female friends.
44: Something about the image of Vin Diesel racing around in an old Volvo is very amusing to me. Thanks for that.
#43 was snark, but also true, IME. Maybe because of the Saab owner I know, I identify Saabs with geeky, mechanically-oriented types--owners geeky enough to diagnose and/or fix the problem whenever the car breaks down.
(Alas, as a dude, I can't answer your question.)
36: As far as she knows, yes.
are there any similar heuristics for attractive men?
Any guy driving an H2 is eminently selfless, loves kitty-cats, and is well-endowed.
Moped riders are usually on methadone.
I'm trying to work out Automotive Astrology, and how my 1996 Accord distinguishes me from Ogged.
When I was just out of college, I bought a 1978 Honda Accord. I loved that car. I have since owned a Saab and make preceisly no claims to Hottness. My current status symbol is of south german provenance and is a make frequently driven by women with oversize sunglasses. I miss that Honda.
I drive a Honda Accord. I find it makes me much happier than when I drove a BMW.
I used to get so pissed off every time I had to pay some ungodly sum for a simple repair or maintenance.
My Toyota Tercel was the Best Car Evah.
I have driven my 2001 Honda Civic all across the great state of North Carolina and all about this great nation of ours and have never had a day's trouble with it. Plus it's a stick shift, so I get to pretend to be cool changing gears. Then, I realize that I'm driving a freaking Honda Civic and calm down.
I used to be jealous of people who drove Accords, which I see as the big brother to my Civic. Yeah, that's it -- I *used* to be jealous.
We're not the most caring owners, and have no garage, so our cars tend to get a little the worse for wear under the strain of weather, salt on the roads, etc. Hondas are perfect for us. I used to have a 1989 Civic, the 4-door with hatchback. That was a great little car! I drove it until its bumper fell off and eventually donated it to the American Cancer Society. That one model does seem to have a problem with tending to rust out right at that spot -- I used to see a couple of other ones around town with the exact same trouble. Poor little Stubby. These days we have a 98 (?) Accord named Walter Mitty.
pocketapocketapocketapocketa
NCProsecutor:
You have your civic tricked out, don't you?
Tint, rims, and all the necessary accessories?
I think it is clear that people that drive Hondas are generally nicer and better people than non-honda people.
My favorite car of all time was my '85 Sedan de Ville. It was black, eight miles long, leather interior and a digital(!) gas mileage gauge that would sit on 0 for the first, oh, half mile or so every time I accelerated from a stop. It was like driving a La-Z-Boy.
I drove a Honda CRX Si in college that I absolutely loved. Loved it so much that I had to sell it because the accumulated speeding tickets meant I could no longer afford the insurance.
63: Not yet. But I've been after the wife to let me get the neon strips underneath. They look okay most of the time, but just after a good hard rain, that neon is the shizzy.
I've been after the wife to let me get the neon strips underneath
Are we still talking about cars?
I've been after the wife to let me get the neon strips underneath
Be sure to shave before you apply them.
63: Oh, and one other thing. I don't know about other states, but in NC, window tinting is subject to some pretty intense restrictions, any violation of which is a Class 2 misdemeanor.
FYI, those restrictions are:
Window Tinting Restrictions. - A window of a vehicle that is operated on a highway or a public vehicular area shall comply with this subsection. The windshield of the vehicle may be tinted only along the top of the windshield and the tinting may not extend more than five inches below the top of the windshield or below the AS1 line of the windshield, whichever measurement is longer. Provided, however, an untinted clear film which does not obstruct vision but which reduces or eliminates ultraviolet radiation from entering a vehicle may be applied to the windshield. Any other window of the vehicle may be tinted in accordance with the following restrictions:
(1) The total light transmission of the tinted window shall be at least thirty‑five percent (35%). A vehicle window that, by use of a light meter approved by the Commissioner, measures a total light transmission of more than thirty‑two percent (32%) is conclusively presumed to meet this restriction.
(2) The light reflectance of the tinted window shall be twenty percent (20%) or less.
(3) Tinted film or another material used to tint the window shall be nonreflective and shall not be red, yellow, or amber.
N.C. General Statutes 20-127(b)
=============
Of course, law enforcement vehicles are exempted from these restrictions. Lucky bastards.
(Note to self: type faster, don't let mind wander)
My Honda Civic is okay, but the best car ever was my '93 Mazda 323, which lasted ten years on about 5 oil changes and was still going strong when, sadly, it was crushed by a semi. Okay, not crushed, just severely bent out of shape.
A minor disappointment of fatherhood was having to restrict car choices for safety reasons: bye-bye, VW bug. A new car is sexy; a car you can work on yourself is sexier.
A new car
I have never, ever owned a new car. In fact, I have never owned a car made in the same decade in which I drove it. Cars are expensive.
having to restrict car choices for safety reasons
With the third child coming any minute now, my choices are being restricted due to capacity reasons. And I really, really prefer small cars.
I have never, ever owned a new car. In fact, I have never owned a car made in the same decade in which I drove it.
Yeah, me too.
NCProsecutor:
Tinting is the number one way people get stopped around these parts. And yes, I am talking about cars.
Yeah, that's the other thing. I used to be proud of never having bought a new car, but faced with all the other stuff we had to do leading up to the twins' birth, and not having a vehicle that we could take them in (former car was a two-seater), we caved and bought new. (My to-do list the day I took my wife in to get induced: go to bank, go to store, buy car.) The upside? First new car: sweeeet.
God, between the "just go ahead and get a vasectomy already" and the "succumb to the minivan", I'm going to have to start a porn career to balance things out.
Me neither. Our current car is a 1997 model, though, so new-ish.
79: You know, if you get a full van, and it's the plain white van with no windows, you could pretty easily balance it all out with a career as a serial killer.
When you buy a minivan, don't they remove your testicles at the dealership? Or does driving the thing make them wither away?
Minivans are great, haters
Yes. Apo: later on, when your children form a rock band and need to move around bulky amps and drums, they will thank you for your wise vehicle-selection foresight.
Totally functional! Roomy! What's not to love? You're too old for the S2000, Timbot.
84: This is not technically a minivan, Ogged.
87: I understand that spring is when a young man's thoughts turn to potential mates. I understand that we all spruce up ourselves or our images from time to time to that end. But, though it may seem otherwise from time to time, "spayed" is not the same as "sensitive," ogged.
I've wanted a minivan for a long time; you're all in thrall to cultural signifiers. Break free! Enjoy the minivan! You know the Honda Element is just minivan that you can deny is a minivan, right? Open your eyes!
If you need a car that holds a bunch of people, and still gets reasonable mileage, what's not to like?
Big awkward vehicles that drive like shit.
If someone has a good reason to have one -- loads of kids, or whatever -- great. But otherwise, no ...
Minivans are great, haters.
I realize my endorsement may solidify the scorn for ogged, but he is right. That said, to echo comments above, the best car I ever owned was a Saab 900. But not practical for a big family.
Big awkward vehicles that drive like shit.
Are you confusing minivans with SUVs?
re: 95
No, most minivans are larger than small/average sized cars, have a higher centre of gravity and more weight.
I've wanted a minivan for a long time
So have I. The Toyotas and the Hondas are nice. Come on people, that third seat folds into the floor! That's awesome.
If you need a car that holds a bunch of people, and still gets reasonable mileage, what's not to like?
This question seems to answer itself.
Once again, gswift is making sense!
McG is disqualified from this conversation because cars in Europe are tiny. Yes, a minivan is bigger than a toaster. So???
I wonder if anyone's looked at the energy costs of car seats. You just can't pack little kids into a car the way you could in the 70's and 80's -- it's not that I'm saying you should, I fully accept that all children should be in car seats until they can legally drink, but it does force people to buy bigger cars, and transport kids in more separate cars.
Man, I am so totally never going to tell you judgemental bastards what I drive.
99. Cars in Europe are standard Japanese models, just like cars in America.
102: No -- some of them may be the same, but there's an entire category of itsybitsy cars that isn't available here, which makes the ones that are available in America seem bigger by comparison. Walking around Florence, I saw cars I could lift.
I think minivans are a perfectly sensible family solution for people who routinely need to have more than 4 people in the car. But that doesn't mean I'd choose to drive one in other circumstances.
A normal hatchback or saloon sized car just makes much more practical sense, especially on small British roads.
I drive a z3 and love it, but it doesn't accommodate both my golf clubs and a passenger (and I am often in need of a truck for other things) so I've strongly considered buying an older minivan.
OFE takes us for rubes. There are these, for example, which would be blown off the road by a passing Yukon or Escalade.
There's some fresh wagons out there.
re: 103
That's Italy, which is largely out on its own. You're probably thinking of the little Fiat Cinquecentos and the like.
Although I do so the occasional Smart around here.
Those tiny cars make perfect sense in heavily built up cities that have been around for hundreds of years and so don't have grid plan streets designed around the car.
I love Smart Cars (I have never driven one, I just love them from a distance). The wife of a friend of mine calls them "shoes".
106: those are allegedly going to be here pretty soon.
Come on Tweety, waddya drive? If it's not a Beemer, you're probably safe from scorn.
There are some awfully teeny cars to be found in Paris, too.
111: it's not a Beemer, no. That would be too mature.
Oh, they make sense and I completely want one (they're tiny! They're cute! Rather than parking, you can simply slip them into your handbag and carry them with you!); I just meant that they change the spectrum of possibilities. A minivan is going to look big to you if a Smart looks like a normal car, much less so if a Canyonero does.
There's a guy on my block with a totally bitchin' Camaro -- purple with yellow stripes and a vanity license plate saying "Rocinante". He's out there fussing with it and cleaning it all the time.
Combine 115 and 116, and you're getting there.
Yeah, there are Smart cars and Cinquicentos in Europe, and in America there are vintage Buicks the size of Rhode Island, but these are off the curve. The modal car size has converged for the last 30 years, largely thanks to Toyota.
118: An aqua-colored Chevrolet Cavalier?
You drive a GTI?? Are you, like, GAY???
118: If you have a Karmann Ghia, can I borrow it sometime?
Tweety:
Audi TT? Karman Ghia?
I WANT A KARMANN GHIA SO BAD. Well, probably I don't actually want to own one, but I certainly want one to play with.
Dude, I looove Karmann Ghia convertibles. Is LB right? Is that what it is? Wanna be best friends? BTW, can I borrow your car?
#63: I think it is clear that people that drive Hondas are generally nicer and better people than non-honda people.
Honda used to advertise its motorcycles with the slogan "You meet the nicest people on a Honda." (My motorcycle is a Honda, by the way.)
Anyhow, I love my car and shouldn't be embarrassed, even if I did buy it in a fit of rave-influenced immaturity. It's small, fast, doesn't attract cops, and carries lots of crap. A fine automobile for the thrifty ninja.
Sifu, nobody knows you're a dog here. Just say you drive a Karmann Ghia!
Citroen Xsara Picasso drivers are the worst [as a sort of karmic counter-balance to the Honda thing].
The GTI really is a nice car. Utterly gay, but nice. V6?
I had no idea that Karmann Ghia's were so popular among the commentariat.
I think Karmann Ghias are kind of stupid. If I was going to front, I'd say I drove one of these.
127: So, not best friends, then. More grudging acquaintances.
IMHO, Mercedes drivers are the worst. If you take an ordinary person and put him behind the wheel of a Merc, he will instantly morph into a road-hogging jerk.
Your front is forbidden, Sifu. (I mean I can't view it.)
I think GTI's are the cars that smell like crayons, aren't they?
I actually don't know enough about cars to know what a GTI signifies. What is it, the favored car in the Asian drag racing scene or something?
141: it isn't Japanese, so no, but you're getting the basic picture. It was the first "performance" hatchback.
It's small, fast, doesn't attract cops, and carries lots of crap.
My guess of a Dodge Diplomat was way off.
My car is 14 years old and has a strange paint problem peculiar to virtually no other cars. The rusting hasn't gotten worse since about 7 years ago, though.
142: Yeah, in my stupider days, I had that hat.
144: I didn't figure, but damn I love that comic.
142 - with a Twizzlers dispenser near the rearview mirror?
148: I don't get it, but I feel like if I did it would be awesome.
I'm not sure there's anything to get -- wouldn't a Twizzlers dispenser improve pretty much any vehicle?
what a GTI signifies
It's the replacement for the VW Golf, which was the ultimate cute blonde chick car. But Tweety is right about its virtues.
the ultimate cute blonde chick car.
Sorry, no, Miata.
It's the replacement for the VW Golf, which was the ultimate cute blonde chick car.
Once again: the UCBCC was a Rabbit convertible. I can't believe you have the face to claim otherwise.
Sorry, no, Miata.
Wrong! The Miata was for slightly older, becoming-desperate women.
152: it's even gayer than that, because it's the performance version of the Golf. So it's like, I want a chick car, but I'm also totally a boy racer!
Anyhow, high school kids dig it.
The Golf was in turn the replacement for the Rabbit, old-timer.
Sorry, no, Miata.
At least for a while there, Miatas were the ultimate used-to-be-a-cute blond chick car. Maybe they've passed the cars down to their daughters.
Where do Jettas fit in? Dr. Oops had one back in med school, and that was fun to drive. It wanted to go very fast.
Twizzlers dispenser
You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll hurl!
The first photo reminded me of the Gremlin from Wayne's World. But LB is correct, most things in life would be improved with a Twizzlers Dispenser.
155: Cabriolet, wasn't it? Is that basically the same thing?
160: that's the ex-girlfriend car.
There were quite a few Miatas at my high school. Maybe the girls there were precocious.
156: You're are quick, grasshopper.
160: Jettas, it seems to me, are like the Accord/Volvo sedans of the VW line: an excellent sign, but probably not someone who worries overmuch about appearing "cute." Passats are the same way, I think.
The Jetta is basically a hipper, sexier, more fun Honda Civic. (Alternatively, the shoddier, less reliable Honda Civic, if you want to leave the world of signifiers. But I don't see why we'd do that.)
One of my exes had a Cabriolet. When I drove it with the top down, it was pretty amazing how clearly people's expressions said, "You're gay."
There were quite a few Miatas at my high school.
You and I must be around the same age and you must have gone to an affluent high school. There were a couple of years where the Miata was the car of choice for high school princesses, it's true.
I can't believe how far people go to notice what brand of cars people are driving, and to draw conclusions from that. I don't even know off the top of my head what car my fiancee drives. It's a reliable Japanese sedan in a boring yellowish-gray color.
168: Yeah. The Porsche 911 Cabriolet: so gay.
Having sex with people of the same gender: so gay.
Having sex with people of the same gender: so gay.
Actually, no.
I drive a Nissan pickup truck, from back before Nissan had names for their truck models.
173: Porsche, not gay (though the yellow...). No, I meant the VW Cabriolet -- early 90s Rabbity-looking thing. In taupe.
175, it's not as gay as rollerblading, but it's still gay.
I drive a Nissan pickup truck, from back before Nissan had names for their truck models.
Ooh, a Datsun, quelle retro.
All the people I've had sex with have been of the same gender.
There are really only two genders which are about equal in number, so 25% of the time sex will be with someone of the the same gender. That's why eye color is 3/4 brown and 1/4 blue.
I can't believe how far people go to notice what brand of cars people are driving, and to draw conclusions from that
I think the US obsession over "what s/he drives" is a pretty standard trope of comics everywhere. That said, I don't think anyone over the age of 20 thinks that a vehicle says a hell of a lot about someone, unless it's at one end (rice rocket, I'm guessing) or the other (mini-van, I'm guessing).
Screw the minivans, acknowledge the power of the Ford Econoline (well, technically Club Wagon). I'd buy one that isn't 11 years old and doesn't have a salvage title, but I haven't won a World Superbike Title yet. (search for "Porsche").
Yeah, not buying it, heebie.
That I like Teo driving an old pickup truck? Or that two people of the same sex having sex is gay? Or you won't install a twizzler dispenser, you stingy grinch?
183: Shearer, no imitating other commenters!
181: Not old enough to be a Datsun, actually. The year is 1989; I think the model is technically "D6" or something, but in most places it's just called "short-bed truck."
There are really only two genders which are about equal in number,
There are tons of genders which are
Fuck, I was basically content with my life before being introduced to this idea of a "twizzler dispenser".
So my less-than sign made everything after it go invisible. Great. Now my genius is lost.
187: no on one, yes on two, no on three.
That made no sense.
Two people of the same sex having sex: so not gay.
I am old enough to have dated a girl who drove a Gremlin.
I have considered buying a minivan for the ability to haul kids, bikes and kayaks.
My dad just bought a Bricklin and it still has the original shag. I can't wait to drive it.
Why is there even a command to type in Invisible Ink? Can't you just air-type?
195: "Shake him and he giggles and dispenses a Twizzler! No batteries needed! (No candy included) Structurally excellent. He was displayed only. The white of his hands and feet have yellowed a little."
Holy shit, it's Ogged!
197: < is used to start html tags, so when the comment parser sees it it assumes you're opening a tag.
No, no, I'm not that gullible. Really, what's wrong with the less-than sign?
205: No really. html tags do (like that)start with a <. Look at the source code.
heebie mocks you earnest would-be-helpful boys.
OK, if you all want to make me the butt of your cosmic joke, GO RIGHT AHEAD. I'll sleep just fine, without ever knowing about the less-than.
I just couldn't stand seeing you toy with them like that. Too, too cruel.
Well, we have to do something while we're waiting to see what the rest of 190 would have said.
nice. There are tons of genders which are nice.
190 was a zen koan which really made you think about how we don't listen to our loved ones. Plus it tied in feminism. Plus it was hilarious and made you lose weight just reading it.
There are tons of genders which are beating down my door right now, OH HEAVENS THEY'RE COMING RIGHT FOR ME, OH THEY'RE DELETING THE WORDS I JUST TYPED AAAAHHHHHH
Shhh, don't wake Ned! I think he's dreaming!
171: I think we are indeed about the same age, and yes, there was an affluent contingent, from which the Miata drivers assuredly hailed.
Man, I'd love to have a mini-van. I wanted one so bad when I was sixteen. This is in no way meant as sarcasm or irony. They rule. In Vegas a few years ago a bunch of friends and I rented one for the weekend and I wouldn't let anyone else drive it. It was a great big Chrysler mini-van and it drove like a dream. I drove it like a race car.
Another super-fun car was my '87 Isuzu Trooper. It was like Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang and an aquarium had raised their love-child in secret and released him into the wild with naught but a six-foot-long gear shift and a tape deck to his name.
Twizzlers, on the other hand, are fucking gross.
On the other hand, when I rented a Ford Ka for a week in Scotland and it had precisely enough room in it for me, a friend, one suitcase per person and one soda per person, I fell in love with it. I'd drive a Ka in a heartbeat, too. I could carry it around in my mini-van as an escape pod. It would be like playing Spyhunter all over again.
224: and you could put your minivan inside an Airstream, and the Airstream inside a cargo plane.
225: It would be the turducken of transport.
Mmmmmm, vehicular matrioshka.
Instead of the Ka, you should get a Toyota PM
Crap, the links to the larger pictures are busted. Two of them here.
You could get one of these to fold up and put in the Ka.
I like these.
Also: back, Nakku, not to worry. Had to do some loading/unloading of DJ gear.
233:
1. Wow, looks like you'll be seeing 6 of those in "San Fransico" any day now.
2. I'm hip to that, daddy-o.
The tango is neat idea; might still be too wide for lane-splitting.
I like the PM more than the Tango. Those look awesome, and I do dream of a world in which, when in slow traffic, I could turn control over to some other driver in some other car.
Um, ogged, I'm holding my left hand up to my forehead, index finger and thumb extended, palm facing out. You getting the picture?
I think you have that backwards, but I know what you're getting at.
