Re: Pants

1

I'm tired of dry cleaning the slacks.

I'll bet you are.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:21 PM
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You could try Ann Taylor's EasyCare line.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:22 PM
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How often are you dry cleaning? If you're picky, I have no help for you, but if you can handle a lttle wrinkling, I say go with linen. Crisp linen exudes a certain aura, but slightly slumped linen looks, to my eye, very refined without being at all uptight.

With my linen pants, I wear them 4-5 times between washings, and iron only after washing (no dry cleaning, but you have to be willing to iron).

Also, linen looks really good in a variety of shades, which is nice for men's clothing.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:24 PM
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I want a new teaching look

You can never go wrong with a muumuu.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:25 PM
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seersucker is wash-n-wear, technically.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:25 PM
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I love linen pants, JR. Crisp or wrinkled both look good, and it's a nice midpoint between formal and casual.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:25 PM
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Baggy flannels!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:26 PM
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What I really want to know is what's up with this style of tie? It looks as if he's wearing a strip of dishrag.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:28 PM
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I'm wearing linen pants right now.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:28 PM
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Wrinkled McFlaxenPants.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:30 PM
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Two words: Leder. Hosen. The kids love 'em.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:33 PM
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Oh no! the dreaded knit tie!


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:33 PM
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Shit! Labs is right - the 80s are coming back, and they want you to wear an uglier tie.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:35 PM
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6: So what's the question again?

A pair or two of wool pants serves the same function when linen is unseasonable - they don't get that cool wrinkled-yet-nice effect, but decent weight wool pants don't wrinkle much.

Have you considered one of those Dickens/Rumsfeld standing desks? And no car? That would help, too.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:37 PM
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Thicker wool pants in the fall/winter. You really don't need to dry clean them more than say 2/3 times a year unless you are a real sweat hog. Corduroys can be machine washed, and you can get them in work-appropriate.

For spring/summer, some linen and seersucker can be machine washed. Also, get some open-weave wool trousers, they're even cooler than linen. Requires drycleaning but you still don't need to wash them all that much, they're much better than cotton.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:42 PM
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8: whats not go get? those are great for more casual.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:43 PM
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Here's a good example of the open weave wool trousers.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:44 PM
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16: I guess "more casual" means your clothes get more blurry and soft, but if you're going to wear a tie shouldn't it produce a clean line against the shirt?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:45 PM
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I actually have taken to buying "microfiber" slacks at ... wait for it ... Wal-Mart.

Pop 'em out of the dryer as soon as it stops, hang them by the cuffs, and they're wrinkle-free, and certainly passable. They haven't worn terribly well, tho I do wash the heck out of 'em, but for $20 or $22 a pair, who cares?


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:48 PM
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Nothing says "Respect Ma' Authoritah" like leather chaps, big guy.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:49 PM
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Its running the same way the seersucker jacket or the button down shirt are: casual versions of more staid looks. They all work together pretty well.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:49 PM
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Also: linen is from the devil.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:49 PM
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Linen makes summer livable. So i guess i understand the devil connexion, in a way; he probably invented the shit.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:50 PM
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"microfibre slacks"

????

those are from hephaestus: ugly and lame.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:51 PM
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17 is great.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:51 PM
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If you get a heavy enough cotton twill, you can machine wash them, take them out of the drier a little damp, put them on a hanger and they look ironed. Brooks Brothers pants work for me on this (shut up. I know they're lame, but the cut fits me). The crease stays sharp for a number of washings, and you can iron them or get them cleaned occasionally when they start looking shapeless.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:52 PM
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Linen makes summer livable.

Nah, that would be "air conditioning." If summer is too hot for you, go indoors.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:52 PM
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OMG, my dad LOVES knit ties. They're so gross.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:53 PM
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What the hell is "ironing"?


Posted by: Scott Lemieux | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:54 PM
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ugly and lame

But wrinkle-free!

Actually, they look okay, if you're not looking to impress by your pants alone. Not all of 'em, by any means. I've got one pair that's indistinguishable from some $70 dep't store slacks that I'd foolishly bought.

Of course, I am probably just displaying my complete lack of sartorial taste. Have fun at the dry-cleaners, you studly types.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:55 PM
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Btw, Lemieux, don't tell anyone I *stole* those pants!


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:55 PM
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I wear suit or sportjacket+slacks virtually every workday, and dry-clean my slacks very rarely -- and then, usually only the lighter ones. If you hang 'em up, they stay pretty smooth.

The thing you want to avoid are cotton khakis. A, because their khakis, and B, because they get wrinkly and dirty at a faster rate than wool slacks.

Also: flat front. Just sayin'. Pleats, as my sister put it, "make thin people look fat and fat people look fatter."


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:56 PM
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My friend has a fantastic skinny seersucker suit from his dad that I used to wear in college. Oh, how I loved that suit. I outgrew it, he didn't.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:57 PM
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Lemieux, what's your work look?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:58 PM
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When I got lazy last year, and poor, I bought me some LL Bean flat-front no-iron flat front traditional cut khakis. They might not flatter a gentleman of fuller habit. But they keep a nice crease and look respectable with a blazer.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 3:59 PM
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Oh, did I mention they were flat front?


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:00 PM
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Also cotton chinos absolutely do not breath well, so if you do have to leave your cave in the summer, like some of us must, it gets pretty unpleasant. And they start to look ragged pretty quickly, and don't look 'worn-in cool" until you've put many more wears into them, at which point they aren't really right for the office. And they still don't look very cool.

Pleats are good, but only on high-waisted trousers as part of a suit. IF you wear your trousers like most people do, below the waist, or don't wear a jacket, they look dumb. That said, flat fronts need to be slimmer.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:00 PM
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Wouldn't the vertical stripes on seersucker pants make Labs look like the Tallest! Man! Alive!?


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:02 PM
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No, the stripes are too skinny and puckered for that effect. They would however make him look like a JP Morgan partner circa 1915.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:03 PM
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Traditional khakis, usually Lands End, sometimes LL Bean or even Dickies. With blazer, I probably wear a knit tie more often than any other kind.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:05 PM
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What is the difference between khakis and chinos?

Ah. Wikipedia explains that chinos are called khakis in the U.S., even though "khaki" is technically only a color and chino refers to the material.

Wikipedia also says, "Chino trousers are currently considered the pinnacle of haute-couture and are worn by fashionable young men across the western hemisphere."


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:06 PM
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FL, aren't you a philosophy professor? Doesn't everyone in your dept wear jeans to work? I don't see too many dry-cleaned humanities types around here. Are you one of those guys who wears a bow-tie and suspenders as a 'rebellion'?


Posted by: cw | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:06 PM
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i have one pair of super skinny khakis that are slightly flaire so pretty much the anti-traditional khaki fit. and one pair i sowed a blue grosgrain ribbon down the outside seams. Both are cotton though. You can get linen/cotton blend pants.

Also, linen/silk blend pants are pretty dressy and mature looking.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:07 PM
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Labs is a notorious clotheshorse, cw.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:08 PM
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Wikipedia also says, "Chino trousers are currently considered the pinnacle of haute-couture and are worn by fashionable young men across the western hemisphere."

I think some Wikipedia user is trying to fuck with us.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:08 PM
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I just had a meeting with my boss and am now in my office, wearing this


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:09 PM
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I'm guilty of wearing cotton slacks more often than I ought because they're easy. I even got one of the no-iron pairs from Nordstrom, and they're friggin indestructible. It's like going back to my childhood sears toughskins, which I wore unthinkingly until I was mocked out of it by my peers.


Posted by: cw | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:14 PM
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Labs is a notorious clotheshorse

Oh, well, I see I've shared enough info to disqualify me from offering any advice. No pictures of bears, either.


Posted by: cw | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:18 PM
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I hate wearing jeans to work. I want something that says professional yet casual. I'm trying to send a message: yeah, I could give a lecture on moral realism, or I could take off your candy garter with my teeth-- it's all good.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:20 PM
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50

Velvet?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:24 PM
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51

The title of this post has finally made me point this out. Because you want trousers.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:25 PM
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Labs thinks he wants a new look, or he thinks there are myriad ways for men to dress like uptight honkies in our society; both beliefs are false.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:25 PM
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53

Why casual at all? Suit with high-waisted pants, suspenders. By the time you begin your lecture your sleeves are rolled halfway up, your bow tie is off, and your collar is open. No one knows that your lectures contain valuable clues that the Resistance will use to interrupt the supply chain. I'm going to excuse myself now.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:26 PM
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I'm trying to send a message: yeah, I could give a lecture on moral realism, or I could take off your candy garter with my teeth-- it's all good.

That is rather a lot to ask of a pair of pants, or even a pair of trousers. Maybe you should just put that message on the syllabus?


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:30 PM
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LB's got it. I read the post and thought, um, what's wrong with chinos? Other than that everyone else is wearing them, I mean. But hey, you're a professor. Go to Banana Republic or whatever, and buy some.

When I got lazy last year, and poor

I must admit, I had wondered.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:37 PM
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B, tell me: what pants could I wear that wouldn't make me into that Modern Love guy but would still make you think, damn, uptight honky's got it going on? I break for a meal while you contemplate your response. "Space pants" not acceptable.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:42 PM
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I'm really curious what those "space pants" were.

I had this totally rad pair of pants in grade school with neon green zippers on the in like 5 places, but now all i see are levis' repros.

i sure was cool in grade school.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:46 PM
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You should dress like a trolley conductor every single day.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:51 PM
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Labs you should wear girl jeans, so your students can relate, emo-style.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:52 PM
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56: I shall have to get back to you. PK wants me to help him play with legos now.

I'm already sorry that school's out for the summer.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 4:54 PM
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Labs, as a male philosophy professor, it is unimportant what pants, if any, that you wear. What's important is that your grow a ZZ Top beard.

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C

Need I say more?

(Female philosophy professors are, of course, exempt from this fashion requirement. Wearing one of these to lecture in will not hurt your career, however.)


Posted by: zadfrack | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 5:06 PM
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Also, you people who are hatin' on pleats can bite me.


Posted by: zadfrack | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 5:08 PM
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I must admit, I had wondered.

I get no respect.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 5:10 PM
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"donnez moi un break" is, sadly, the true face of the Left today.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 5:12 PM
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What's important is that your grow a ZZ Top beard.

"I went to see the doctor of philosophy,
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee ...."

But then it's tough to see the pants.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 5:19 PM
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I've never seen anyone in a knit tie who didn't look like an idiot. That's just empirical though, could be sample bias.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 5:24 PM
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I am concerned by yoyo's contention far up thread, that one only need dry-clean wool pants two or three times a year. Can this horrible statement represent widespread practice? If it is, I'm sure glad I work with badly-dressed but not-wool-wearing scientists. 'Cause cleaning pants twice a year? Like, ew.

53: Why casual at all? Suit with high-waisted pants, suspenders. By the time you begin your lecture your sleeves are rolled halfway up, your bow tie is off, and your collar is open. No one knows that your lectures contain valuable clues that the Resistance will use to interrupt the supply chain.

Write for the J. Peterman catalogue in your spare time?

No, wait, the J. Peterman catalogue is right-wing and all about teh imperialist nostalgia. How do I know? I got a copy in the mail a couple of weeks ago, and it wants you to shell out for the, I shit you not, plantation owner's hat. "Some people," the copy reads, "work on the plantation. Some people own the plantation. This is the owner's hat." Truly, beyond satire.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 5:56 PM
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66: In From Russia With Love, James Bond is specifically described as wearing a knit tie in a photograph taken surreptitiously by the KGB.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:01 PM
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We exploit labor the old-fashioned way. We enslave it.


Posted by: John Houseman | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:03 PM
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I own two knit ties. I look kinda dumb in both of them.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:03 PM
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51: Neither you nor Labs is British, last I checked.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:05 PM
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67: I'm told that wool has natural anti-bacterial properties.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:07 PM
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72: Nothing could have that much anti-bacterial property. Perhaps yoyo merely exudes a natural sweetness, as the bodies of saints are said to do, and so he doesn't need to dryclean things.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:11 PM
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66: O RLY?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:12 PM
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75

I wear boxers under my trousers so i don't have to get any sweat on my trousers.

Also note i was talking about fall/winter trousers. I don't excercise in them much so not really much chance for sweat.

I have a pair of jeans i haven't washed for 6 months, though. THey don't smell yet.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:13 PM
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76

We've been over this.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:14 PM
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77

3 peice mohair? mohair is a summer fabric, doesn't really go with the 3 peice.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:15 PM
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You're junior faculty. Break out the Diesel jeans and the hipster tees and hair product. Pout. Get high evals from undergrads wanting your body but pretending they're interested in philosophy.

Wearing khakis and a short-sleeve shirt makes you look like my advisor, i.e., adorable, but nerdy. Unless you have tenure, don't.

More seriously, linen is nice. I heart my linen pants. (Be glad you're not a girl. Hard to dress to teach.)

Fuck pleats.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:16 PM
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75: I take this on faith, I really do. But you must be a dry and lizard-like fellow.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:16 PM
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I do not love linen. I've never yet encountered linen that didn't wrinkle frumpily. Perhaps if one were tall and very thin and the product of generations of WASP inbreeding, the rumpling might look casual and yacht-ish, but it sure doesn't work that way on me. Although I am at this very moment wearing some pretty sharp linen-cotton pants imported via Ebay from the UK.

I'm glad I no longer teach anyone anything. I do bully undergraduates a bit, but merely being ten years older than them gives me enough leverage that I need not dress for psychological advantage.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:20 PM
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Labs, do they even make these for such prodigious inseams as yours?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:20 PM
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82

Frowner, do you own wool pants/skirts?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:20 PM
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For my casual 100% linen pants, i roll them up before i put them on to get them extra wrinkled just to make it clear that they're supposed to look like that.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:23 PM
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I have to dress for psychological advantage. I really don't look old enough yet to be in charge of a classroom.

Linen wrinkles sort of frumpily on me, but in the summer, it just looks frumpily relaxed.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:23 PM
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82: I do, but they're either very fine wool twill (pants) or merino knit (skirts), and I hand-wash them in cold water, press out excess water, lay flat to dry, etc. So what do I know? Probably not much about dry-clean only wool pants....


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:25 PM
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oh i don't think the 'dry clean only' is actually true. how do you know when to wash them?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:26 PM
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83: We seriously need a Sartorialist-style feature on Unfogged. I am impressed by the degree of dandyism and obsession involved in pre-wrinkling one's pants. (No, honestly, I am. I was just thinking today that the only good thing ever written by John Irving is a line from, I believe, The Hotel New Hampshire: "You've got to get obsessed and stay obsessed", and how the only really happy-making things I've achieved have come from that kind of fussy obsession.)


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:30 PM
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77: That's what makes it daring and innovative.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:31 PM
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It's a matter of fabric--the finer and tighter the weave or knit, the more likely you are to be able to hand-wash in cold water. If the fabric has a refined surface, you may loose that, though--I usually wash silk charmeuse things right away to get rid of the shine, actually. A wool crepe probably shouldn't be hand-washed, since it will almost certainly shrink. But a fabric that feels like that "pinpoint oxford" fabric only wool can usually be hand-washed. You kind of need a feel for it, though--when I lived in China, I had some pants made and I always pre-washed the fabric (which I bought separately) myself (so that I could hand-wash them later). That clarified a lot.

Of course, it's much more difficult to wash anything with any serious kind of lining.

Don't try this on your favorite pants first, is what I'm saying.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:34 PM
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I agree with yoyo only insofar as linen is nice precisely because it's ok if it's wrinkled.

We should obviously get The Manolo to stop by occasionally.

This is probably the thread to mention that my damn pocket watch stopped running.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:34 PM
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oh cool. I've washed linen and sweaters that say dry clean only, but never troupsers/jackets.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:37 PM
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Awww, sorry to hear that about the pocket watch.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:38 PM
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91: Watch out for silk, though--I'm not sure why you'd have any silk knits, but some of them wash perfectly and some of them shrink like mad, and it's hard to tell which is which.

90: But surely you could work up some kind of dandyish little performance about how it's always thus-and-such an hour? Particularly if it stopped at an evocative time--twelve, or bar close, or bar open or something. Or you could carry two pocket watches, one for your favorite time and one for the commonality's.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:42 PM
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It stopped at some utterly insignificant time and is currently at a jeweler's, so I'm afraid that, for the moment anyway, I can only carry one at a time—not that I would, since my other pocket watch is a monstrously large gold affair that I've never used.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:44 PM
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adorable, but nerdy

Isn't that pretty much the Unfogged demographic? Except for the "adorable" part, maybe.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:46 PM
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Hm. Well, talking about something being "at the jeweler's" is a bit performance-y in itself, so at least you have that. Like talking about being "on holiday" or about one's tailor. (Of course, this only works if you aren't really someone who would of course have a tailor and have many items-diamonds, for example--that were always at the jeweler's.)

Do you wear a watch chain?


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:49 PM
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Not without a watch, no.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:52 PM
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Of course, not being the type to wear a vest or even jacket unless weather demands, I generally wear my watch in my pocket, the chain affixed to a belt loop. Déclassé, I know, but modern times and all that.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 6:55 PM
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96: Oh, that's right--your little problem with context and inference. Sorry about that, Ben.

Watch-chainily:
There's a fellow I see around campus who wears head-to-toe, long-sleeved formal black clothes (which takes stamina in ninety-degree weather). Apparently the same ones daily, or else he has a Ralph Nader-like closet. Army boots, too. Close-cropped hair, long skatery watch chain; not gothy so much as a fusion of military dress with Young Communist severity. I believe he's in the English lit grad program, since I dimly remember him from a class I started and had to drop due to family health stuff. Fantastically affected and nerdy. (Which I mean as the highest praise.) You can see people shy away from him at the bus stop, lest he infect them with weirdness. I'm waiting to see if he can last the whole summer kitted-out like that, or if he'll keel over. I'm hoping he doesn't weaken and show up in shorts, but it's getting awfully hot out.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:02 PM
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96 should be 97. My little problem with any kind of accuracy.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:03 PM
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Since he's nixed the space pants, Labs needs to buy a pair of these Comfortable and practical!


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:08 PM
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I knew, or rather admired from a distance, a guy in college who went about always attired in a hat, brown duster, vest, and properly-worn watch; one could occasionally see him in his last year (he was one year ahead) practicing his whip technique on the midway. He also made the most elaborate, well-put-together Halloween costumes known to man; one year he was an Alien Queen and had an armspan of about seven or eight feet.

Then he proposed to the hot hot goth descendent of Robert Herrick with an engagement corset. That he had probably made. I see I've mentioned this fellow before. He was so dreamy...


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:09 PM
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103

I have a few pairs of Geoffrey Beene wrinkle-free slacks and one ridiculously comfy pair of Dockers made from a really soft cotton, none requiring ironing or dry-cleaning. They are cheap, they are flat-front (gods yes, flat front, do not buy or wear pleats unless you want everyone to stare at your crotch in something less than appreciation) and they wear well in winter or summer.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:14 PM
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Okay, Labs, here ya go:
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2046573609&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2054532467&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2046580371&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2053439821&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=36&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2057797739&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=72&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2045426621&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=1827207&N=1398891&Nao=180&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2028070087&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431795&N=1398891&Nao=216&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2027426541&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=324&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2027439839&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=324&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2027439483&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=324&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2023992603&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=324&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2027452455&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=324&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2053439889&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=144&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2015511375&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=360&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2015510431&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=360&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2053425923&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Nao=108&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:16 PM
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67 -- fantastic. The Owner's Hat.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:17 PM
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(gods yes, flat front, do not buy or wear pleats unless you want everyone to stare at your crotch in something less than appreciation)

It doesn't matter if you're wearing a cummerbund, of course.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:17 PM
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102 seriously worries me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:17 PM
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105: What, you want the slave's hat? C'mon, that's taking PC *way* too far.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:19 PM
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102: I dunno, brown dusters have always made me a little uneasy; I'm not sure why. I prefer ridiculous severity of dress which suggests specifically political neurosis, particularly retro political neurosis. People who probably have "A communist is a dead man on vacation" written above their headboards--those people are dreamy.

Also severe retro-ness generally. Not playful retro where people are all pierced and pin-up-heeled, but people who really, truly dress as if they believe they could propel themselves into an alternative continuum. Those people are rather difficult to deal with in actual life, though.

A guy could make a lot of money in the corset-making business if he were really talented. Those things are expensive!

When I was young and in my prime and used to go dancing, I had an inexpensive, merely lingerie corset which I would wear on top of a not-tight grey tee shirt, paired up with olive army pants, combat boots, severely pulled-back hair, and a snarl--sort of a bait and switch outfit, I felt. I looked into getting a real corset, but oh, the prices.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:23 PM
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Shake up the stuffy establishment fellows by playing the rough guy.


Posted by: ahab | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:23 PM
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people who really, truly dress as if they believe they could propel themselves into an alternative continuum. Those people are rather difficult to deal with in actual life

Just a li'l bit, yeah.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:25 PM
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The outfit described at the end of 109 sounds great.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:26 PM
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I had an inexpensive, merely lingerie corset which I would wear on top of a not-tight grey tee shirt, paired up with olive army pants, combat boots, severely pulled-back hair, and a snarl--sort of a bait and switch outfit, I felt.

Sounds hot.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:27 PM
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You should see her alien costume, ben.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:30 PM
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Believe me, I'd like to.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:31 PM
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112: I used to love getting dressed up to go dancing. I had (still have, transmuted by dye and sewing) a full white silk-satin wedding skirt (custom made for someone who never picked it up; found it on clearance at Filene's in Chicago) which I used to wear with some kind of white shirt so that I would stand out from everyone else (fluoresce, really, in the fancy lighting). All my clothes were hostile, never pretty or sexy but always as crazy as I could get them. It was great.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:31 PM
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113/114: Ha! That's what you think. Picture the outfit on a dour-faced, already even then rather pudgy white girl of Swedish descent wearing coke-bottle lenses. The point was (in my youthful neurosis) to say "Oh, you expect me to try to be sexy, right, and you expect to disdain me for failing...so I'll just be ugly and weird right in your face." Now I just pull my hair back severely and wear oddly-shaped clothes in dark colors while staring right through people. Of course, I haven't been dancing in forever...there's nowhere good around here anymore, and I no longer have dancing friends.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:35 PM
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113/114: Ha! That's what you think. Picture the outfit on a dour-faced, already even then rather pudgy white girl of Swedish descent wearing coke-bottle lenses. The point was (in my youthful neurosis) to say "Oh, you expect me to try to be sexy, right, and you expect to disdain me for failing...so I'll just be ugly and weird right in your face." Now I just pull my hair back severely and wear oddly-shaped clothes in dark colors while staring right through people. Of course, I haven't been dancing in forever...there's nowhere good around here anymore, and I no longer have dancing friends.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:36 PM
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Oops.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:37 PM
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a dour-faced, already even then rather pudgy white girl of Swedish descent wearing coke-bottle lenses

Eh, still sounds pretty kickass to me.

Filene's is awesome. I used to have a green skin-tight skirt slit up to here with a wide black elastic waistband and a matching t-shirt styled top, also skin-tight, that I got there. They were made out of some completely artificial fabric that one could basically wipe clean with a damp cloth and made me look like a techno-mermaid, or something.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:44 PM
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You should be preparing now for the look you'll be sporting in twenty years, when you're distinguished, lovable and eccentric (or distinguished, crusty and obnoxious - you don't have to choose yet). Buy a couple of suits and wear them continually for the rest of your career. The more worn and patched they get the better.


Posted by: Basil Valentine | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:47 PM
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Yeah, I used to go to Filene's whenever I was in Chicago to visit my great aunt. It was great--the cashmere shawls, the really weird offscourings of the fancy department stores...nothing like it out here in mid-continent, although before they closed the downtown TJ Maxx I got a really terrific pair of hot pink calfskin opera gloves there.

Techno-mermaid!


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:50 PM
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Yeah, see, I'm thinking you and I should get all gussied up and go out together sometime.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 7:57 PM
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Well, I do have a few fancy outfits, some hideous and some sublime, that I've been saving against the day when I might possibly wear them. Most probably best for autumn, though...we'd have to time this properly or I would melt. Or the outfits would, depending.

We could go out and show off! That would be great--I do love to show off, and I don't have very many opportunities nowadays.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:06 PM
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yeah, filene's is the only brick place i buy from. they have nice stuff occasionally.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:09 PM
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Filene's has stuff for men?!?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:10 PM
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125: Yoyo, you're some kind of clotheshorse, aren't you? (So am I, in my fat-chick, thrift-store and Ebay way) Where do you buy your suitings?


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:15 PM
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haha. yeah, although last time i was there, i found this pretty cool looking long sleeve shirt. henly front, with big metal rivets plus buttons. it actually looks pretty slim, which is hard to find. and it was on the sale rack. really light weight sweater material. i go try it on. Its REALLY tight as i pull in on, and sorta stretched out on my arms and waist. but, it was kinda loose on my chest. thats when it dawned on me, i had picked out the one women's shirt mishung on the men's rack.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:18 PM
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Dockers Premium, No Iron pants. Durable. Stay crisp. Look perfectly fine.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:20 PM
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um, well since i just graduated, i don't have much in teh way of suits. I have a one i bought at macys a few years ago, one brooks brothers tweed i got at a thrift store, and two ok suits i got at filenes. if i ever am sorta successful i'll probably get most of my suits made by low-end tailors, mostly because the fabrics most suits are from are really boring, and the cut is too frumpy.

oh and i have a few assorted jackets, mostly ones my pops gave me b/c he doesn't fit in them anymore.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:21 PM
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i was in brooks brother at the mall the other day (i was actually just out to socialize) and ended up trying on some jackets. the tailor there tried to convince me i was 2 sizes larger than i really am. but she was like 4'6 and really grandmotherly so i didn't really want to argue with her.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:22 PM
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I'm actually looking out for suits myself, since I may be trying for a fancier job next winter (funding for my current position is both limited and precarious). But because it will be within-University (I hope...catch me leaving the nerdy, frumpy, eccentric and above all unionized confines of the academe) I'm just going to get a soft knit merino one and maybe a flowy black silk skirted one, both presumably on Ebay. Much easier to buy a soft women's suit than a man's suit, too.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:27 PM
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is it really? i remember someone around here, maybe LB? idunno, saying it was much harder. my coworked i had a crush one was saying she was going to buy a suit or two, and they were '100$" and it sorta was like wow.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:28 PM
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ebay is the worst thing to happen to my credit, ever.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:29 PM
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I've tried more expensive pants. But for casual, yet not sloppy, Docker's pants are the way to go.

On non-court days, I wear them a fair amount in the summer with a nice coat and tie.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:32 PM
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Well, buying a tailored woman's suit is probably more difficult than buying a man's suit, since the fit is trickier and there's more to negotiate with changing fashion details. But women do often have the option of wearing loose, flowier suits if they're not high-powered lawyers (like LB, of course) or corporate types. I can, essentially, wear a suit that is made up of sweaters. Or one that's just a bunch of drapey, unlined black silk. The problem with these is that they have to be fairly high-quality to look good, hence Ebay.

Which is a good thing, too, since I'm fattish and muscle-y and built like the world's shortest giantess (big head, wide shoulders, big hands and feet) and structured suits make me look like some kind of socialist-realist sculpture.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:34 PM
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you know, putdowns are fun even if they are directed at other people.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:40 PM
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structured suits make me look like some kind of socialist-realist sculpture

Thanks for the vivid brain picture. And I'm sorry.


Posted by: ahab | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 8:50 PM
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139

Two words: trouser press. The lazy man's iron.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 9:04 PM
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Frowner - The anti-bacterial properties of wool are the eighth wonder of the world. Especially if you lanolinize the wool first, you rarely have to wash it. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. Tested this on the infant. This has nothing to do with Labs' problem though.


Posted by: Penny | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 9:37 PM
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It doesn't matter if you're wearing a cummerbund, of course.

Quite true. If one at all has any sort of curve around the waist a cummerbund is just an excuse for people to exaggerate said curve in their mind. It is an error for almost anyone to wear one outside the confines of an occasion that requires it and even then, meh. I was a bridesman in a wedding a few years ago in which all the men wore these ridiculously hot - in the sexy sense, not the sense of temperature - tuxedos that were not penguin suits at all and only the groom wore a cummerbund. I would have killed for one of those suits but instead the bride and groom gifted each of the gents with the really amazingly sleek tie each of us wore.

I admit that a part of me really likes ties even though I will actively try to escape from occasions requiring them.

Frowner, I wish you'd gone to UNC. I used to deck out in Faded Goth at the drop of a hat. I weighed a lot more back then and would dress in the most ridiculously aggressive gear I could lay hands on as a sort of shield against normal human interaction.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 9:41 PM
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141: Huh. As tempted as I am to say that I have no interest in normal human interaction, honesty forces me to admit that it was when I was thinner that I dressed to repel. The advantage to being fatter and older is that you're always-already sort of written off, aesthetically, so there isn't as much need to fuss about it.

But it would have been wretchedly hot at UNC, yes? I don't think that even a partner in fear and agressive-premptive-repulsion-of-others would make up for lots and lots of heat and no proper winter. It's much harder to dress to repel when you can't layer. Although I had this combination of a really hideous white button down, cut-off fatigues and these ridiculous thigh-high nurses' orthopedic stockings that I'd wear in the summer. The stockings really didn't want to stay up, though, so the effect was a little schlumpy. Ah, memories, memories!

Maybe I can believe in the anti-bacterial properties of wool. It's that Kierkegaardian leap to faith, I guess.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 9:54 PM
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compare wool and cotton socks after a wearing. the difference is amazing.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 10:16 PM
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compare wool and cotton socks after a wearing

"a wearing". Ew.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 10:19 PM
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Labs, listen to B in 104.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 10:20 PM
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honestly, most of those pants are kinda dull and could be half for a third the cost in an average store. they are probably the sort of pants you want though? i remember thinking at the grocers earlier that orange and yellow are good trousers colours because they are bad colours against most people's skin, but trousers let you wear them.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 10:23 PM
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"Pants" as a term of address: opinions?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-14-07 10:41 PM
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I never wore anything other than jeans and a shirt or t-shirt for teaching. Admittedly, it's been a year since I taught anything/anyone, but I wasn't feeling the urge to succumb to the dark-side and go 'khaki'.

If I wasn't wearing jeans, I'd be tempted to go the whole hog and wear something cool and retro and tweedy or a nice suit.

I used to go to college with a guy who always wore immaculately tailored 3-piece tweed suits. He combined it with a Salvador Dali moustache and a little Trotsky style goatee. It could have been pretentious, but on a 20 year old working class guy from Glasgow, it really rocked. This was at a the peak of the 'grunge' era, so the whole thing was a statement with a big 'S'.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:17 AM
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147: "Hey there, Pants. Take off already."

Like that?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:20 AM
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150

Like that, yeah.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:25 AM
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Completely pants.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 6:18 AM
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he thinks there are myriad ways for men to dress like uptight honkies

I believe there are at least two modes of dress for uptight honkies in academe. They can wear jacket-and-tie, which is what Labs does. Or they can wear Euro-Emo-wear, with the black shirts and charcoal trousers and so forth.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:08 AM
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153

151: That's So Pants!


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:29 AM
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142: We had winter, certainly... sort of. OK, we once got an inch of snow. A whole inch! I had to open the geology dept. library that day because the real employees were all scared they would die if they tried to make it in.

149, 150: Well, fine.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:30 AM
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Men should all wear suits and ride bicycles. Women should all wear suits or dresses, and ride bicycles. Those without bicycles must go naked.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:01 AM
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During zag-tag in the dormitory, lo those decades ago, a guy could get pantsed either before or after getting zagged, but could only ever be longhorned if he'd been pantsed first.


Posted by: ahab | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:06 AM
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All bears must transport themselves via unicycle. Baboons will be clad in only the finest linen. Macaques may wear tweed coats if they like, or corduroy, and may ride along in little side cars, attached to the miniature motorcycles ridden by the baboons.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:07 AM
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158

PANTS 'IM!


Posted by: ahab | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:09 AM
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159

I want to live near text.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:34 AM
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160

I could use a butler.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:42 AM
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152: you can split the difference. Light buttondown shirt, dark wool pants, no tie is not a bad look.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:47 AM
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159: I want to know what the bears are wearing. (And whether they are the human kind of bear or the bear kind...and if the bear kind, whether grizzly, panda, black or Russian Dancing.) Surely we aren't forcing the bears to unicycle without pants?


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:57 AM
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There's a certain weight of pant,
On motorist baboons,
That impresses a macaque,
From whose sidecar swoons.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:06 AM
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164

I'm not especially happy with the last line.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:07 AM
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165

Russian Dancing and Grizzly are the same species.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:08 AM
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"Inspiring him to swoon"?

"Who breaks out in a swoon"?

"Who goggles like a loon"?

"All beneath the silver moon"?

"In the merry month of June"?


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:10 AM
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Thanks, Frowner. Do you have any that scan?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:12 AM
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165: In boring, pedantic, literal terms, of course...but I like to think that the rough, coarse-furred grizzlies who roam west of the Mississippi (I can hear them circling the stately Frowner abode by night) are of different sort than the mild-mannered, frill-collared bears who dancy with Roma girls to the sounds of a fiddle and an accordion on market days all over the imaginary European past.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:13 AM
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No. Scanning is for sissies.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:14 AM
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"On a roadway opportune"?


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:15 AM
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Scanning is for sissies.

True enough.

Wrongshore, the slavishly literal parodist I am, I'm in the market for a an anapest and an iamb.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:19 AM
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a


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:19 AM
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"who from the sidecar swoons"

it's a lovely verse


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:22 AM
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Thanks, text.

I dream that one day, we'll have enough disturbing, primate-themed adaptations of Dickinson to publish a book.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:24 AM
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We've got some down the hoo-hole, haven't we? It could be done.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:26 AM
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Because I could not shine for him


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:30 AM
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some kind of socialist-realist sculpture.

Frowner, meet LB's cousin


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:32 AM
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Whoa, NickS! Nice work.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:33 AM
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177: My feeling is that there's some kind of family-secrets-skeleton-closet-TV-miniseries sort of connection between LB's family and mine. Or perhaps I'm the discarded offshoot of their sinister plot to breed dwarf giants.

Nicely linked, too. What it must be to have such a memory!


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:37 AM
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I have, on a similar basis, occasionally suspected myself of being your long-lost evil twin -- the one who sold out to work for Big Tobacco.

We aren't Swedish at all, though.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:41 AM
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That's why there was clearly some baby-swapping or adultery or something involved. I dibs the movie rights, though!


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 9:45 AM
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182

178,179 -- I found it on my first search with "tractor turnip site:unfogged.com"


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 10:20 AM
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if you search for "tractor turnip" in quotes without the site qualifier, the first hit features the phrase "tractor, turnip, buttocks".


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 10:41 AM
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95: adorable, but nerdy

"Isn't that pretty much the Unfogged demographic? Except for the "adorable" part, maybe."

Hey, I can be pretty damn adorable--except when I'm being mean and nasty.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 10:58 AM
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exceptespecially


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 11:21 AM
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186

(in sultry voice)


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 11:21 AM
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The comment thread in 177 is tripping me out. I had no idea there was an Official Town of Unfogged. (Six of us with some connection, by my count.)


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:02 PM
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187: I too am tripped out by that thread, but for slightly different reasons...as I read today's Unfogged, I ask myself where, where have all the cock jokes gone? I mean, I am stunned.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:08 PM
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It was a younger, happier blog back then.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:14 PM
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188 -- They have been superceded by Persian jokes.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:14 PM
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It was a younger, happier blog back then.

Ouch.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:21 PM
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This is why you're supposed to read the archives. Because they're the only thing worth reading anymore.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:28 PM
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And where are your cock jokes, Frowner? Ask not what your blog can do for you...


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:28 PM
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The blog's gone downhill since they let all the new people start posting. I say we bring back Bob.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:30 PM
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"Who surrenders poon".

I think that nicely ties together Dickinson-monkey-parody- and cock-joke-deficit-threads. And scans.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:34 PM
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where have all the cock jokes gone?

Long time flaccid ...


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:36 PM
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"I think that nicely ties together Dickinson-monkey-parody- and cock-joke-deficit-threads. And scans. "


That is what your Mother said, Trebeck!

Give us some hints Wrongshore. Maybe a category: "Penis Mightier"?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:42 PM
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What Wrongshore's episode was like.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 12:49 PM
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Here is your official pants related story of the day.

The jokes here are endless, but they more or less tell themselves, so there's no need for me to repeat them.

I'm not sure why this hasn't shown up at Apostropher's place yet. He's probably too busy with the new baby.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 1:44 PM
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"Pants related" should be hyphenated.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 1:45 PM
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She tore off his testicle! Through his pants!! With her bare hands!!! And tried to eat it!!!! And none of you care.


Posted by: Brock landers | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 4:11 PM
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I'm frankly amazed that one can apparently do that with one's bare hands.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 4:31 PM
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I'm not. People's ears get torn off in fights, and a testicle is softer tissue than an ear. Through the pants, I admit, is impressive. Poor guy.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 4:35 PM
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She just wasn't thinking. Testicles are too large to swallow without chewing.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 4:38 PM
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The pull quote is priceless: 'I am in no way a violent person.' Mr. Uniball begs to differ.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 4:44 PM
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203: But presumably that's by being hit, not by being tugged. I realize that not everyone has flabby triceps, but even gym rats like Ogged and Labs are probably stronger pushing than pulling.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 4:46 PM
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Wouldn't a pull engage the biceps? I ask not to be a little bitch, but because I've been sitting here imagining tugging off testicles and I'm sure it's my bicep contracting.

I really hate my life.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 6:51 PM
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Like a pullup, it'd be bicep, forearm, lat.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:02 PM
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But presumably that's by being hit, not by being tugged.

No way. I've taken a couple pretty good shots there sparring before, and they stayed on. No woman on earth could punch a nut off.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:04 PM
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Yeah, that's what I thought. Unless you imagined the yank as a sharp yank downwards, and then you might engage the tricep.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:05 PM
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gym rats like Ogged and Labs

I'm more of a pool dolphin. A furry pool dolphin. Labs, however, does enjoy the musk of the weight room.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:12 PM
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Look, I refuse to believe that it's possible to rip a man's testicles off without special training or tools.

No, I'm not going to look at your link that provides evidentiary support to the contrary.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:14 PM
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212:

Why not? How do you people know this? Have you really pushed the envelope on your testing?!!??!

I much prefer erring on the side of caution on this one. Please assume that a testicle can be ripped off without too much force.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:31 PM
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special training

Where is the school where one can receive such training? Who is the teacher/


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:31 PM
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Fingernails could work wonders. Or do they count as a tool?


Posted by: ahab | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:35 PM
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...as tools.


Posted by: ahab | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:36 PM
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Please assume that a testicle can be ripped off without too much force.

amen.


Posted by: cw | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 7:52 PM
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Grab and yank. I bet it'd work fine. Snap your wrist.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:08 PM
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Dudes, I'm already careful, but I don't want to get paranoid.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:14 PM
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In weightlifting, clean and jerk is related to snatch not testicles.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:14 PM
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send jackmormon to Gitmo. She already knows how to treat Iranians.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:16 PM
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Grab and yank....Snap your wrist

Don't forget to follow through.


Posted by: ahab | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:22 PM
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Dudes, I'm already careful

Bad times when squeezed too hard. Worse when the party doing the squeezing interprets your sudden gasp and tensing up as "he's really into this" rather than the correct "OMFG that hurts", and squeezes even harder.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:22 PM
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There aren't actually any Iranians at Gitmo, are there? Just as a point of fact.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:26 PM
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ahab's just planning for the future.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:28 PM
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224:

Not yet, but they are brown so there is always a chance. Oh yes, and every Republican seems to be jonesing for some Iranian blood.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-15-07 8:30 PM
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34--since I started teaching on the East Cost, I actually wear a tie and sometimes a jacket. And I do have a couple pairs of relatively nice pants that need to be dry cleaned. But that's the limits of my professional commitment; ironing is just going too far.


Posted by: Scott Lemieux | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 10:18 AM
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The special training imagined in 214 is in Shaolin Kung Fu, specifically the fearsome monkey steals the peach technique.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 11:05 AM
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I just went to the store (the Banana Republic store) and bought a pair of trousers. They are gray linen and they are fantastically comfortable, and they do not require dry cleaning. All to the good. I also wanted to buy a pair of Levis but they are priced at $80! $80 for Levis? I have not bought any in a while but that seems a little steep. I also failed to buy a new pair of sandals from Timberlake, because the only ones available that seemed like my style, were not available in my size.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 12:02 PM
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227 -- Ironing seems to me to involve far less effort and energy than taking a garment to the dry cleaners. This mindset held even when I lived in the city and the dry cleaners was easier to get to than it is currently.

228 -- Thanks, that's what I was looking for.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 12:04 PM
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(Except, I can't look at the image to which you link.)


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 12:04 PM
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231: the image.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 12:21 PM
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Oh yeah. (Google is advertising peaches on the sidebar.)


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 1:12 PM
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Unless you imagined the yank as a sharp yank downwards, and then you might engage the tricep.

How else would you yank off testicles? By pulling up? Right into the abdominal cavity?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 1:35 PM
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You could yank forward (biceps), or down and away (triceps).


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 2:03 PM
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The only reason you'd yank forward using the biceps, is if you were on your knees. If you're standing, even a forward yank is gonna require you to pull your arm back.

I don't think that's really a tricep move, but I'm pretty sure it's not a bicep move either.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 2:12 PM
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I assumed we were on our knees.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 2:17 PM
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Honey, never.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 2:21 PM
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The bicep/tricep thing is simple -- biceps bend your elbow, triceps straighten it out. So if you start with a straight arm (say, your arm is extended fully as you grip the testicle) and you bend it as you pull, you'd use your biceps. On the other hand, if you start with a bent arm and straighten it as you pull (like, yanking straight down) that would be triceps.

The bicep pull, with most of the power coming from the lats (which, rather than bending or straightening the elbow, move the upper arm down and back), seems likeliest to me.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 2:21 PM
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238: Don't tell me how to love!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 2:24 PM
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Hey, whatever, you wanna wear out your joints yanking off guys' balls, knock yourself out. Feminism's all about choices.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 2:25 PM
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I'm kidding. It's really not a good position to do much from unless he's lying down.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 2:27 PM
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"yanking off" s/p/b "yanking guy's balls off," huh?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 2:29 PM
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How else would you yank off testicles? By pulling up? Right into the abdominal cavity?

So let me start out by saying that I was very bored last night. But as I was imagining this, it was a sharp yank upward, with your arm starting extended, grabbing from underneath, and the rest of it more or less like you would do if you were trying to win at arm wrestling: contract the bicep, pulling towards yourself you can back up your biceps with your other muscles.

So not so much up as away from the man.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 3:25 PM
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Honey, never.

BitchPhD tells lies.


Posted by: q | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 3:31 PM
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I have no idea how I became q.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 3:32 PM
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It's true. In real life I'm a man.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 3:35 PM
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But a man with awesome shoes.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 3:56 PM
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246: Well, someone has to have the title, and you've been handed it. Bond and the other Double-Ohs still need gadgets.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 4:50 PM
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hm. System difficulties.

I commented a few minutes ago that 245 is yet more genius in the recent linking to past threads.

Not showing up, that comment.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 5:42 PM
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I went shopping today and did not find a single thing i liked. I did see some pretty nice lavendar trousers, but too big.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 6:29 PM
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Those look nice, yoyo.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 6:35 PM
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im pretty sure i would totally get those, do you have a link?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 6:59 PM
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230--but since the dry-cleanable pants are for special occasions, and the dry cleaner is across the street, I win!

I find that pulling my balls is painful whether the bicep or tricep is involved.


Posted by: Scott Lemieux | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 9:45 PM
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253: unfortunately, they sold in January 2006. Also, they belonged to Bob Hope. Also, they sold for $1800. Sorry.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-16-07 9:52 PM
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HEY i found some really expensive zippered pants, by accident!!!!!
http://cgi.ebay.com/JOHN-GALLIANO-ULTRA-RARE-COTTON-HIGHLIGHT-PANTS-SS2007_W0QQitemZ120130522711QQihZ002QQcategoryZ57989QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 06-17-07 6:00 PM
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I fail to see what makes those pants worth over a thousand dollars.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-17-07 6:02 PM
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