Re: Place Your Bets

1

I took him to be describing a lack of opportunity, so he'll make it all the way through. (I think think they're actually sort of strict about that at rehab clinics.) And he might make it even if technically feasible. Sometimes, when you break one routine, it's easier to break others.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:22 PM
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48 hours. 5 bucks, collectible at meetups.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:23 PM
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Could someone discreetly clue me in? Dick Cheney?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:25 PM
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He's totally at burning man.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:29 PM
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OK, got it. I skipped the end of the post.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:29 PM
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I think think they're actually sort of strict about that at rehab clinics.

But as we've seen before on this very site, it doesn't always work.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:29 PM
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Their stricter when you are recovering from
*really* ugly addictions like the ones Ogged has.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:34 PM
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What #4 said. I think this might be him, performing an interpretive dance.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:37 PM
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Sorry, folks, he's happier if I keep him busy on these infrequent visits, iykwim. Aittyd.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:40 PM
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Ogged is one of the Da'wa party bigwigs who has remained in exile after the US invasion. He's in Nasiriyah advising them on how to get the US back on the majoritarian wagon.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:41 PM
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Ogged got subpoenaed in the Michael Vick case.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:46 PM
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Ogged was displaced by a midwestern flood.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:48 PM
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9: I just had a terrible mental image of an amorous encounter between B. and ogged. They were in a passionate embrace with one of them shouting "Yes! Yes!" and the other retorting "No! No!" Yeesh. Thanks a lot, B.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:48 PM
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11: I checked the rosters of the San Francisco 49ers and Oakland Raiders and they don't seem to contain any Persians. Top suspect Nnamdi Asomugha turns out to be of Igbo descent.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:51 PM
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It's a weekend in August; I'm guessing this is a destination wedding and there will be no reliable Internet access.

Bonus question: Why do people in this hemisphere choose to get married in August?


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 1:59 PM
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14: But do they have any Lur?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:01 PM
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13: That's exactly what it's like! Hott.

15: I got married in August, dammit. I think it had something to do with available weekends for various guests and/or the officiant. And yes, it was beastly hot.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:05 PM
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I was a bridesmaid at an August wedding once. Dresses custom made from upholstery fabric. Brilliant.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:07 PM
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We had gorgeous weather for our wedding but two days before it was over ninety degrees in July. I think July and August wedding usually happen because the couple wants something summery and June is booked and more expensive.

Though we picked July largely to work around my teaching schedule, and as I joke, to avoid the rain occasion by the Three Rivers Arts Festival in June.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:11 PM
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Our June wedding was ferociously hot.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:14 PM
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21

I apparently do not believe in plurals or conjugating my verbs these days.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:17 PM
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In my defense, 18, I told my bridesmaid to pick out whatever kind of dress she wanted to wear. (Which honestly I think all brides should do, but that's a separate issue.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:18 PM
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21: It's getting married. Pretty soon you'll start deferring to Shivbunny about any matter requiring any intellect whatsoever.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:19 PM
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14: Google "Houshmandzadeh".


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:21 PM
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21: Awwww, fuck. That explains it; he can't type for crap.

22: Oh god, I tried that and got blank stares from my bridesmaids. But you're... the bride! You are supposed to order us to wear dresses and you are not supposed to ask our input! It was really very bizarre. So I picked something they all looked good in. (Things that make it easier: have all your bridesmaids be related.)


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:23 PM
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My wife did the same, also only one attendant each.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:24 PM
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21 s/b "I apparently to do not to believe in plural or to conjugate my verb this day."


Posted by: Epoch | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:26 PM
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Things that make it easier: have all your bridesmaids be related.)

And pretty. From the pictures, your sisters would have looked great in burlap sacks.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:26 PM
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25.2: Oh jeez, yeah. If people will insist on believing in weird conventions, you kinda have no choice but to go along with it. At least if they're friends and relatives.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:28 PM
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As long as the burlap sack didn't have an empire waist, yup.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:28 PM
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For empire waist-related difficulties, contact this organization.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:32 PM
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How do you pronounce "empire waist," Cala? My wife & I were at a Halloween party where one woman talked to us about her AHMpeer-waisted dress, and that became the joke of the night.

Even if it's correct, being correct in Starkville, Miss. is not always the correct thing to do.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:34 PM
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33

Would we be so likely to insist that be pronounced omm-peer if it described a male or gender-neutral artifact?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:35 PM
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34

Ahm-peer is right. If that's too snooty for you, say 'high waisted'. EM-pyre is just wrong.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:35 PM
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35

X'ed with 234, but obviously a similar reaction.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:36 PM
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34 is snooty. How are people supposed to know that?

On the other hand I guess I would just wait for the saleslady to say the word first, if I was in some sort of empire waist-related situation.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:37 PM
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Bleah, I say "ehm-pyre." That's how that word is pronounced in English.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:37 PM
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Eh. I've never heard M-pyre in the fashion context, but I've been surrounded by snotty NYers all my life.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:40 PM
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39

Not just snooty, super snooty. I can guarantee you that when an English word enters French the French do not try to pronounce it according to English phonetics. "Robot" has a silent T. "Television" has an accent on the last syllable, which is nasal. Let's stop trying to make our language all things to all people.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:43 PM
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40

That's how that word is pronounced in English.

B: so down with the gente that she's no longer down with the gente.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:43 PM
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B makes no claims to being down with the gens.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:44 PM
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THIS IS THE GUESS WHERE OGGED IS THREAD

NOT THE ESOTERIC PRONOUNCING THREAD

OPEN THREADS ARE BAD


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:50 PM
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A woman I used to work with in Kansas said the florist for her wedding was going over colors with her. My friend pointed to a picture and said, "I like this. It's very pretty," and the florist replied, "Ah, yes. LahvahnDAY. Everyone's getting LahvahnDAY this year."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:50 PM
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44

I thought there were only open threads.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:51 PM
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45

39: That's because the French are such chauvinists about their language.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:51 PM
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le weekend


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:51 PM
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Someone's list.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:54 PM
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This place doesn't have open threads. Just a bunch of loose threads that threaten to unravel.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:55 PM
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My sense is Americans have been more inclined to try to approximate French pronunciations than the English have, and that it goes back a long time.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:57 PM
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39: But Americans do, in contrast with the British, retain vestiges of French pronunciation on lots of words. Dancers perform in the bal-AY, not the BAL-et. As a reference to a French historical period, the Frenchish pronunciation makes sense.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:57 PM
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My wife tried to get the bridesmaids to design a dress as a committee, which worked out about as well as you would expect. One of the women in the wedding party took the out of becoming a groomsperson and wearing a tux she already owned. That's probably your safest move.

I got a little possessive about friends, though, and insisted that one of the bridesmaids stand on my side, since she was really my friend because I met her first. We balanced things out by having my wife's brother stand on her side.

Are we having another wedding thread?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:58 PM
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IDPwned.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:58 PM
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53

How would Elizabeth Bennett and her sisters have described the style of their dresses? They were at war with that country.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:59 PM
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Do Americans refer to historical French empires as ahmpeers?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:59 PM
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Are we having another wedding thread?

NO

UNLESS WE RECEIVE CONFIRMATION THAT OGGED IS AT A WEDDING

I THINK HE IS NEGOTIATING WITH SALON ABOUT SELLING UNFOGGED TO THEM


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:59 PM
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Heh. Buck tried to have the mutual friend who introduced us as his Best Woman, but my mother vetoed it on the somewhat humiliating grounds that she's prettier than I am. (Roughly.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 2:59 PM
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57

53: "In the latest mode."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:00 PM
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58

We need to deconstruct the notion of the open thread.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:01 PM
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To me, every thread is open.

I'm being boycotted at Crooked Timber. I can kill a thread there single-handed.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:04 PM
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Unfogged posts are always already open threads.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:05 PM
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I say 'ahmpeer' because the first time I heard it pronounced was as 'ahmpeer' and I did not wish to appear a rube from Smallville. Usually I'd agree with Ned but it's a word one only encounters in fashion contexts, so it's a specialized lingo, much like the terms in ballet. Calling something the British ahmpeer, stilted. Using it to talk about the waistline, not.

We don't call the color of the gowns they wore perrydott either, much to the consternation of my maid of honor.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:05 PM
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#53: "Short-bodied" (which meant "high-waisted").


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:08 PM
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There is no open thread. There are nothing but open threads. The "open thread" names the condition of (im)possibility of the self-undermining notion of a "comment thread."


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:08 PM
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John is the buffalo hunter of thread killers. Identifies the matriarch, kills her with one shot from his Henry rifle after stalking for days, then calmly slaughters the rest as they stand around her collapsed body.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:09 PM
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56: Your own mother said that?!

Mostly I thought the whole girls on the right boys on the left setup for the wedding party seemed very grade school. The more we could mix it up the better.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:10 PM
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IA, we really don't want the facts around here.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:10 PM
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67

I'd describe them as 'why is the waistline nipple high' and 'do most women realize this is not flattering unless they are already perfectly shaped, in which case, cf. LB on the burlap sack.'


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:11 PM
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The wording was more along the lines of 'Everyone will be looking at her, not at you.' Which, from the point of view of the purely recreational viewer would have been likely, but I figured that the big fluffy white dress would hold people's attention at least for the length of the ceremony. Mom: not so much with the tact.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:12 PM
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65 sounds right. At my two cousin's weddings both the bridesmaids and groomsmans were drawn equally from the bride and groom's acquaintances. And yet it was boys on the right girls on the left.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:12 PM
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Some empire waists can be very flattering, even on a less-than-perfect figure, but the skirt can't be too full or it makes one look pregnant.

It can be supposed that the popularity of empire waists in certain eras may have had something to do with hiding secret pregnancies.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:13 PM
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68: Yikes. My dad's mom told my mom, on the wedding day, that it wasn't too late to get back together with her handsome football-playing ex, as my dad was not cute and wouldn't amount to anything.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:14 PM
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68: I've read that a bride who is not properly ogled on her wedding day will give birth to monsters. In many cultures professional oglers are hired -- the more oglers, the more prestigious the marriage.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:16 PM
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The skinniest day I ever lived, which was pretty darn skinny, I looked pregnant in an Empire waist. Something about the way they hit me makes it absolutely clear that there's a six-month waistline under all that fabric.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:17 PM
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72: You've met Sally and Newt? Lovable, but monsters.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:18 PM
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22: And in fairness back, I would not have been much happier with upholstery fabric in February than in August. Also not a good fabric for a strapless design.

My bff actually selected different dresses for each bridesmaid based on what she thought would be most flattering on their individual bodies. She made remarkably good choices. And got married on a mild May day, to boot.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:18 PM
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Back on the Georgian veldt, pregnancy was hott, and women faked it to attract mates (and also, antelopes).


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:19 PM
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77

But this is a recurring fantasy, often portrayed positively: It Happened One Night; The Graduate


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:20 PM
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78

I've been thinking about wearing some sort of abnormal tuxedo on the wedding day so that my fiancee won't have quite so much pressure of being the center of attention all the time and being the only one whose judgment and comportment are constantly being monitored. Some of the commentary (internal and otherwise) will be about me rather than her.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:21 PM
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76: I'd have done well on the Georgian veldt. I am built to look perpetually 5 months pregnant. Slender arms, slender legs, nice, round plump tummy.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:22 PM
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71: Exactly.

I was to be an attendant for my best high school friend, but his bride balked on the grounds that I'd known him longer and he had once had a crush on me.

Our attendants were split by gender, but the third groomsman was the aforementioned best friend of me, and really, I was maxed out on attendants with the sisters.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:23 PM
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78: But it will reflect on her if she can't dress you properly.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:24 PM
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74: For me to regret the absence of proper oglers at your wedding would be tantamount to murdering your lovely children in cold blood. So I will only say how happy I am that the oglers failed you and monsters were born.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:25 PM
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83

I can match a pregnant tummy up until about the fifth month. A nice, firm, non flabby potbelly.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:27 PM
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84

I don't want to read all of the above comments, but I do want to know how a thread about ogged's coke habit, and the Less Than Zero whoring it requires of him, turned into a discussion of Empire waists. (Also, what are Empire waists? But I'm willing to google that.)


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:27 PM
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You know what's great about ogged being gone? We can talk about girly stuff for a change.

So: Admittedly, the empire silhouette is not universally flattering, but can we talk about the basque waist for a moment or two? This is a favourite for bridesmaid's dresses; and it's my suspicion that it is quite deliberately intended to flatter the bride by not flattering her bridal attendants.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:29 PM
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I look good in a basque waist, but I have a low waist.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:31 PM
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Which one's the basque waist? I thought it was something like the waist on my gown but I'm really not sure.

One thing that came out of me picking the bridesmaids' dresses: my very conservative sister who has for years failed to recognize how gorgeous she is, discovered that she looks amazing in strapless gowns. Had she her choice it would have been a boatneck or something.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:32 PM
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88

Google is my friend: basque waists seem much nicer and more normal then Empire ones, which seem very, very weird.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:33 PM
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89

I don't know what a basque waist it -- I googled images, and they just look like dresses with full skirts and tight bodices.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:33 PM
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Google isn't my friend because I can't figure what's the difference between a basque wasit and a regular bodice thingy.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:34 PM
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You know what's great about ogged being gone? We can talk about girly stuff for a change.

More like "We can monopolize every single thread with girly stuff instead of most of them."

This turned into a discussion of douche and tampon anecdotes.

This was a girly thread from start to finish.

This quickly went into women's fashion rather than men's fashion.

And that was before Ogged left!

Oh the humanity!


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:34 PM
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LB. I pwn you, not the other way around.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:34 PM
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I think it just means a very low waist with a V in the front, pointing crotchward. Usually the skirt around it is full and light, or heavy and draping. It's very late-16th-century, I think.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:35 PM
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This is preposterous. Ogged is unable or unwilling to stand athwart outbreaks of girliness on an almost daily basis.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:36 PM
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95

There are plenty of dick-swinging threads, Ned.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:36 PM
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89: Wikipedia has an entry. They look like normal dresses to me. IA is probably feeling a little out of sorts, what with ogged away.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:36 PM
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I think it just means a very low waist with a V in the front,

Oh, those. My mother's verdict, when coupled with a low neckline: "What it don't show, it points to."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:37 PM
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Basque waists, like empire waists, look fucking dreadful on me. I like sheathes and columns and drapery.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:37 PM
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Crypti-pwnd


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:37 PM
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Oh, mine wasn't basque then. It was low, but no V.

A-line-A-line-A-line.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:39 PM
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"What it don't show, it points to."

Since everybody's waiting for some guy to say "You say that like it's a bad thing," I thought I would just get it over with.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:42 PM
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Now you're going to tell us that "Basque Waist" is pronounced "bahs-QUAY AARD-vark," or something. Admit it.


Posted by: Epoch | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:43 PM
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man, you want to mess with your head:
go over to sully's site, and watch the video of obama debating alan keyes.
obama--no surprises: cool, admirable, reasonable.

keyes--it's just too weird: the guy is *so close* to being rational, and even admirably intellectual.
and yet he's a nut-job.
he speaks in beautiful coherent sentences. his positions are in some sense well thought-out (except for the absurd consequences). he has 9 out of the 10 leading intellectual virtues. and that's really a scary indictment of the intellectual virtues.

they both talk far more like professors than politicians.
either one of them could be among my academic colleagues.
keyes would have got tenure first.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:50 PM
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The Brits in the Shorter OED refuse to give AWMpeer the time of day; the traitorous American Heritage lists it first; and the miscegenated Oxford American leads with "EMpyre" but allows as one might also pronounce it as if one were a regular character on a Bravo series.

Now that I think about it, Halloween Girl did say "AWMpeer" even tho it would be "awmPEER" to American ears. So she was wrong, EITHER FUCKING WAY. I rejoice in my superiority as usual.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 3:53 PM
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Speaking of wedding attendants, what does a bride do if her closest friends are males and she has no sisters? Assuming one's fiancee has the usual complement of male friends, and therefore cannot take on the extra groomsmen... This is a purely hypothetical question, as although all of my close friends are male, I have no grooms on the horizon, whether or not they have male friends.


Posted by: justjenny | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 4:21 PM
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(A) Go small, no attendants; (B) if you need the attendants because the kind of wedding you want to have requires them, go for more distant friends, cousins, coworkers, and so forth, and don't worry about how personally close you are to them. I'd do A rather than B (well, I did A, just my sister as a maid of honor, despite having female friends who could have bridesmaided) but there's nothing wrong with B.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 4:24 PM
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what does a bride do if her closest friends are males and she has no sisters?

Who said anything about closest friends? Cousins, neighbours, random strangers.... Actually, you could probably rent a couple of bridesmaids, or even an entire entourage. With a cleverly worded ad carefully placed on Craigslist, you might even find some people who were willing to do it for free. Or you could do that gender-bending thing, and have bridesmen, but then you'd have to ask yourself: Is it worth antagonizing my mother like that?

(I went the "traditional" [as in, "traditional" as invented by the post-World War II wedding industry] route, with three sisters and one female friend. The whole thing made me feel so awkward and uncomfortable that I kind of wished we had eloped to Gretna Green).


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 4:39 PM
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FOR SOME REASON OPINIONATED GRANDMA ALWAYS SOUNDS LIKE CALVIN TO ME.

IT MAKES WHAT SHE SAYS FUNNIER.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 4:43 PM
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Goth band name: The Vampire Wastes


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 4:45 PM
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I had two female attendants and four male attendants: sister, ex-girlfriend, oldest friend, high school friend, dirst college friend, second college friend.

My sister and my high school ex wore hot tux approximations. My sister was pissed off about not getting to be my best man, but my best friend did an outstanding job of it.

My bride was pissed off that she had to come up with six friends to put in her party. But she made it through.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 4:56 PM
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dirst s/b first. Or "bizkit".


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 4:57 PM
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My bride was pissed off that she had to come up with six friends to put in her party. But she made it through.

Unlike the marriage, IIRC.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:02 PM
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113

Correct! For bonus points, describe my officiant in one four-letter word.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:22 PM
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114

"nice"


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:36 PM
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115

"imam"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:37 PM
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116

No. Keep guessing.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:38 PM
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117

Aunt?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:40 PM
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118

It's in the archives.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:40 PM
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119

"dead"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:41 PM
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120

"high"?


Posted by: Epoch | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:43 PM
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121

"pimp"?


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:45 PM
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122

"tall"


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:46 PM
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123

"nude"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:46 PM
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124

"glad"?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:46 PM
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125

I think the elusive Roamsedge got it right.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:47 PM
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126

"dick"?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:47 PM
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125: Well, Wrongshore mentioned the archives.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:49 PM
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Yay Roamsedge. All the bonus points are yours. The bonus bonus points go to Cryptic Ned.

114 is more right than 126. 124 and 122 are not wrong, if memory serves.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:57 PM
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The bonus bonus points are awarded for 125, not, sadly, 123.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 5:57 PM
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You would have preferred to be married by a nude pimp?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:03 PM
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Yes. Yes, I would.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:07 PM
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I am imagining large-scale Mineshaft trivia games about random comments people have made here.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:08 PM
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Separate points would be awarded for scores achieved without Googling and with.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:08 PM
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And bonus points for anyone who was able to extract useful information out of MSN Search?


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:13 PM
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I propose a game in which we all describe our mental pictures of one another. People who have seen each other's photos can enter with a qualifier, but people who have met cannot play.

Points are not awarded on verisimilitude but on persuasiveness to others who have not met the commenter described. (It's like pragmatism.) Bonus points if you can change the mind of someone who has met that commenter.

Not now, though.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:17 PM
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135: I imagine all of you as jaw-droppingly hott until further notice.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:18 PM
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I think AWB wins.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:28 PM
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135:I have recently been described in a comment. Pink with green hair and a gem in the belly-button, IIRC. Amazingly accurate.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:32 PM
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I think AWB wins

Really? I didn't think she described me well at all.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:38 PM
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Well, her description of me was dead on.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 6:45 PM
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I am imagining large-scale Mineshaft trivia games

AKA "a blog called 'Unfogged'."

Yer all waisted, as Roger Daltrey would say.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:01 PM
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Backing way up the thread: in buying a shirt the other day, I told the salesdude that I was looking for a short sleeved button-down to wear with a suit. "We do not sell short sleeved shirts to wear with suits," he said, somewhat archly, "it is a matter of etikwette."

Talk about making a fella feel comfortable!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:04 PM
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136: you must have cheated and looked at the pictures of me, BG, and arthegall in the flickr group.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:05 PM
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We do not sell short sleeved shirts to wear with suits

Oh. Is it going to be a problem that I'm not wearing underwear?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:07 PM
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145

Is it going to be a problem that I'm not wearing underwear?

It's okay as long as you wear a pleated garter belt.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:11 PM
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But they make me look fat, slol.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:15 PM
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147

How about nothing? Does nothing go with a suit jacket?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:15 PM
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I propose a game in which we all describe our mental pictures of one another.

Wrongshore looks like Sean Connery with a scraggly beard.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:21 PM
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143: Arthegall looks nothing as I expected! Not that I really had any mental picture to begin with. I do find the name "arthegall" fetchingly melodic.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:21 PM
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147: I love fashion koans.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:21 PM
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150: Q: what is the sound of two balls flapping?

A: corporate casual!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:23 PM
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in buying a shirt the other day, I told the salesdude that I was looking for a short sleeved button-down to wear with a suit.

Your first mistake was to call him a "salesdude." Better to have referred to him as a "gent." Your second mistake has already been brought to your attention by said gent.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:25 PM
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where is the flickr group?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:27 PM
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will looks like an aquatic, wry Jeff Daniels


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:27 PM
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And yet, I can correctly pronounce the word "etiquette," and I don't work in menswear.

Advantage: me!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:28 PM
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154: aquatic?!? Like The Incredible Mr. Limpet meets The Big Lebowski?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:30 PM
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Incredible Mr. Limpet meets Dumb and Dumber.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:31 PM
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153: E-mail ogged (probably not a great choice right now) or Armsmasher to begin the hazing ritual that gains you entrée.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:32 PM
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149: you know, the more I think about it, the stranger I find it that I apparently did look like you expected.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:36 PM
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Aquatic. Like the rabbit that killed our 39th president.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:37 PM
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159:

the stranger I find it

Why? I have seen a picture of the back of your head before, you know.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:41 PM
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Well, I suppose that's true.

(retreats, confused)


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:43 PM
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160: can't blame the rabbit. He was history's greatest monster, after all.

In other news, I just tried and failed to download a copy of "Jimmy Carter Says Yes," possibly the funkiest song ever written about a sitting president.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:51 PM
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Dude, it was a picture you linked to in some thread or other in connection with whether you were actually blond; you were in a room with a bunch of black-clad gentlemen, and it gave a fair impression of you, though not of your face, obviously.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:52 PM
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OT: If one could, in barely visible glow-in-the-dark ink, write something pranksterish on the back of one's roommate's bike helmet, what might one write? Uh, hypothetically, of course.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:53 PM
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Yeah, I know the picture in question. It was, in fact, the back of my head, and it was from like 8 years ago, indicating that you have a far better ability to figure out what people look like than I do.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:53 PM
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165: fuck you, clown!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:54 PM
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Without thinking about it much, I would probably write "DOUCHEBAG" or "PROMISCUOUS," as either one might be a good accidental conversation-starter for him.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:56 PM
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or "PROMISCUOUS DOUCHEBAG," leading people to speculate wildly on who he'd pissed off.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:57 PM
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Douchebag Q. Promiscuous, III.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 7:59 PM
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If it's helpful, you should know that it's sort of a Speed Racer-style helmet sans visor and all-white.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:00 PM
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172

"ASK ME ABOUT MY PROSTATE"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:01 PM
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173

"8[swastika]8"


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:06 PM
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Good suggestions, guys. I'll report back if we actually go through with this plan. Could be a couple days.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:08 PM
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175

EAT MORE POSSUM


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:09 PM
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176

FAIRY PRINCESS


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:10 PM
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Armsmasher is also offline-ish until about Sunday. So it might take a few days for either to get back to you.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:13 PM
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If one could, in barely visible glow-in-the-dark ink, write something pranksterish on the back of one's roommate's bike helmet, what might one write? Uh, hypothetically, of course.

"ARCHDUKE
           of
ASSRAPIA"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:13 PM
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HIT ME I'M IRISH


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:15 PM
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FREE PARIS


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:16 PM
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My picture of everyone is just a sort of blogworld composite, based on having met a few of you IRL, and also on having seen some photos, posted here there and everywhere, of shiny happy blogpeople breaking bread at various and sundry blogging conferences and blogger meetups and the like.

Bearing in mind that this is just a rough composite, and the whole being infinitely greater than the sum of its parts, you look:

Above average in affluence (so no major dental problems, e.g.); college-educated, and perhaps a little bit geeky (but some of you do that "geek chic" thing, and some of you even manage to pull it off); young, or if not young, then youngish; more urban than rural. You're not dressed for success, exactly, but you're not sporting a polyester tracksuit, either: your style is perhaps best described as "alterna-yuppie." You would not wear white socks and sneakers in Manhattan, or if you did, you meant it as an ironic gesture.

In any group photo of blogpeople that I have ever seen, there seems to be a higher percentage of people wearing eyeglasses than is found in the population in large. So I'm thinking eyewear.

One of you claims to favour short-sleeved shirts with suits, but myself, I don't quite believe him.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:17 PM
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182

FUCK THE POLICE


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:17 PM
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181: That's gonna be a bit long for the helmet, IA. But I'll see.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:19 PM
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ROUGH TRADE


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:19 PM
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ASK ME ABOUT MY LANCE


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:20 PM
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181.last: it was a fucking august wedding. Is it tackier to wear a short sleeved shirt with a suit or to be DRENCHED IN SWEAT ALL DAY? I say the latter.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:21 PM
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There should be short-sleeved suits with short pants.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:21 PM
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And a short tie.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:22 PM
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JIHAD!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:24 PM
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I JUGGLE BALLS


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:26 PM
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SPERM BANK


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:27 PM
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DON'T EAT
DUCK BRAINS

with a drawing of a duck in the center.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:29 PM
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193

BABY GOT BACK


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:29 PM
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Basically, I just want a poster like that, and I'll take what I can get.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:29 PM
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192 is canonical.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:30 PM
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196

I saw a woman wearing a tshirt that said

MAKE FURTIVE CLUMSY PASSES
NOT WAR

the other day. I wanted to ask her where she got it, but I didn't.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:33 PM
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196: was she wearing glasses?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:34 PM
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Alas, no. I didn't get her number for you, either, Ben.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:35 PM
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First thread that's made me repeatedly laugh out loud; lord knows why. Bonus gold stars to apostropher for 175 and 189, but Sifu's 172 and Ned's 178 cracked me up, too. Ha.


Posted by: NickFranklin | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:36 PM
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200

Shit.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:36 PM
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One shirt I remember seeing was a college-age girl with a shirt that had big blocklike letters that read

BOY
FROM
HOME


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:36 PM
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186: The August heat and humidity mean not a jot to me, lad. Boyz II Men, yeah?

Gawd. What hath feminism wrought? The menfolk have gone all soft and entitlement and shit.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:39 PM
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202: well anyhow, it worked.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:40 PM
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Admit it, Tweety, you're an embarrassment to your sex.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:51 PM
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I looked fucking sharp, dammit. Don't make me upload a picture.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 8:53 PM
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Yeah! Yeah! Upload a picture! Upload a picture! Yeah!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:15 PM
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Was that the sending or receiving mixed message wedding?


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:18 PM
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Sending.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:21 PM
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Photo added to group, against my better judgment. Wily, Heebie, wily.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:24 PM
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Dude, there's something horribly wrong with that woman's face.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:27 PM
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Really. You should scribble thick black marker over her face or something instead. That's just fucking frightening.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:28 PM
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It's a skin condition, you insensitive bastards.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:29 PM
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What are you doing with your arm in that photo? It looks like you're raising it to sweep around and welcome people to... a back yard?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:30 PM
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214

Strangling a puppy.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:31 PM
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215

Well that explains the smile.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 08-23-07 9:32 PM
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216

And yet, I can correctly pronounce the word "etiquette," and I don't work in menswear.

Appying the rules favored by B., Cryptic Ned, and ED, the salesdude was pronouncing it correctly.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08-24-07 3:08 AM
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217

In an ideal world, yes.

In the world we live in, no, but at least when there is an English pronunciation of the word ("empire"), let's use it for everything, instead of having a secret counterintuitive snooty pronunciation for one rarely-used definition of the word.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-24-07 11:14 AM
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216: No. In English, "etiquette" is pronounced et-(shwa)-kit.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-24-07 11:29 AM
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219

"Etshwakit"? That sounds super-affected.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-24-07 12:09 PM
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