Re: Course Correction

1

Weren't you musing about pants problems when I met you?

Oh, hell, just go nekkid. Or wear a skirt. :)


Posted by: profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 5:48 PM
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New goal: less introspection.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 5:49 PM
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There's no end of pants problems in Oggedville, PG. You realize this means I have to get my suit pants let out? Woe, woe.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 5:51 PM
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About ten years ago, I spent nine months really getting into shape: riding my bike about 200 miles/week, swimming a minimum of 5 miles/week, lifting weights, and barely eating. The idea was to get back to my weight, 158 pounds, from sophomore year of college, when I had rowed crew.

The goal, though gripping in its own right, wasn't nearly as interesting as the barely eating part. No matter how little I consumed, I couldn't get below 165. I tried and tried, and then I tried some more, upping the mileage on the bike and in the pool, lifting less frequently, and eating even less. Eventually, I stopped having breakfast, ate only a smoothie for lunch, and usually had something like rice and beans for dinner. Still, every time I stepped on a scale: 165.

Then I finished my dissertation, and the whole getting-back-into-shape, recapturing my nineteen-year-old body project seemed less important. And now I'm just kinda fat.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 5:53 PM
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3: along with many who have chosen to go pants-free.

I remember when I used to wear a 34" waist. Between that and eating, I'm glad I chose the way I did.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 5:55 PM
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2 words: elastic waist.


Posted by: profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 5:55 PM
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If only they made suit pants with elastic waists. I could wear them to the opera.

And anmik, I hear you, although I'm pretty sure I could get back to my old waist size (and if you were aiming for a weight and lifting, it's not really surprising that you couldn't hit it--you were putting on muscle as you lost fat). But I'm realizing that maybe it really was very, very skinny and there's no need to get back there.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 5:58 PM
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i still wear a 34" waist.
and the string i loop through the belt-buckles in front to tie them on isn't more than two feet long, either.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 5:58 PM
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I've been working a bit harder lately at getting back into shape and fitting more of my pants. The getting back into shape part is progressing significantly better than the pants part.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:00 PM
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A cousin, who's a doctor, insists that people are really "supposed" to put on a pound for every year they age beyond their twenties. Beyond the horrifying thought that I'll be very, very fat around my hundredth birthday (even before that, I suppose), I'm just not sure she's right.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:11 PM
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I did like anmik did almost ten years ago, but without the weights; mostly it was lots of physical activity and cutting a substantial amount of wine and beer from my diet. Within a few months I was down to high-school size, under 130 lbs. with a 28" waist. I'd like to say that body image didn't matter that much, but man, I felt like a million bucks. The clothes I bought then are still in my closet, shaming me whenever I open the door.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:16 PM
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Ogged, these posts are depressing the hell out of me - I'm happy that I've been able to keep anywhere near a 34" waist (despite being something like 4" shorter - vertically - than you), and I'm in an uphill struggle with my libido without the Zantac. I'm what you dread to become.

Where's that pint of Ben & Jerry's?


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:23 PM
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Blacksmithing. Handlebar moustaches. Optionally swordplay as well. Many vendors cater to 33" Elastic waist is unspeakable. The vendor euphemism is travel pants, with discreet prose explaining how they hide the puckers.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:24 PM
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10: I've heard that it's typical for Americans to put on a pound a year, not that you are required to as part of a healthy aging process.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:35 PM
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If you don't have an obvious gut and you're thicker, it could be marbling of (yes, humans can be prime as fat infiltrates our muscle) or it could be nasty visceral fat, the stuff that KILLS YOU.

Me, I'm finding that as I lose weight, I'm losing my ass and not my rack. I want my ass back, damn it!


Posted by: Rose | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:41 PM
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14: I think her point, if memory serves, was that trying to keep that pound (or so) off is unhealthy. To which I said: fatty.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:41 PM
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Ogged, I am telling you: this hangup about weight and pants size and workout schemas and shit is fucked up, man. If you get a reasonable amount of exercise, you're fine, and whatever size your body is is irrelevant.

Seriously, my weight's gone from 150+ down to 117 and back to about 141, I think, in the last several years, and you know, whatever. I looked fine at all points and had clothes altered as needed and was in pretty decent shape at both the high and the low end (and am currently working on it, so shut up).

Stop being such a freak.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:41 PM
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Fatty.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:47 PM
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Stop being such a freak.

What in your past experience makes you think this is a possibility, B?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:49 PM
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10: I've heard it's typical, but not good for you.

I need a sport. I'm not so much worried about losing weight (I have the most stubborn setpoint in the world), but I should get in better shape.

What sort of sports can one take up in her late twenties?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:49 PM
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B., intermittent amphetamine abuse makes you an outlier in this population, so no one else can draw any conclusions from your experience.

Ogged, sometimes lead deposits in the brain cause inexplicable weight gains. Have your head weighed to rule this out.

B. again, could you run over and screw Ogged's leaden brains out so he can complain about different things for a change?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:50 PM
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Between 145 and 175, I don't think I've ever really left the space between 32 and 34, although 32 in most brands doesn't really fit. I've gotten terrible at buying pants that fit, though.

I had to let my suit out in 2004. I hadn't worn it since 1998.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:50 PM
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20: NASCAR?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:50 PM
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What sort of sports can one take up in her late twenties?

Whatever sports one damn pleases. One is a long way from dead yet.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:52 PM
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What sort of sports can one take up in her late twenties?

Pretty much anything, no? The real question is what leagues there are around you for oldsters.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:53 PM
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shivbunny floats between a 32 and a 34 even if his weight changes a lot (~30lb). But I think guys are more stubborn about changing their waist sizes, or maybe it doesn't matter as much to the fit of men's clothing.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:53 PM
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that Levis wasteland (kekeke) between a 32 and 34 inch waist.

I've been there for nigh a decade. Further problem, 33s stretch out over time, requiring a belt. 32s never seem to stretch enough to be really comfy. Anyway, if one shops online, finding 33s shouldn't be a problem.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:53 PM
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Well, maybe not, but honestly, this "fatty" stuff is all well and good hahaha but the "must fit into my old pants" thing is just seriously fucked up. Quit being fucked up, Ogged, and quit spreading your fuckeduppedness to the world.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:53 PM
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What's fucked up about wanting to be able to wear the pants one has rather than go through the hassle of buying new ones?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:54 PM
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Take up ultimate, Cala! And smoking pot! No, the latter's not necessary, really. There are usually fun all-ages leagues, and there's less pressure than your typical team sport. But, you know, there's the odd hippie.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:55 PM
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24, 25: Sure, but most of the sports options seem to expect one had years of training as a child and are returning to it.

I need to get back into shape but I am not motivated to go on the damn elliptical any more.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:57 PM
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As for sports, on the back cover of the first volume of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Alan Moore is described as the author of Cocaine and Rowing: The Sure Way to Health. His beard's longevity testifies to the sagacity of this prescription.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:57 PM
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For losing a bunch of weight fast, you really can't bit clinical depression. I mean, it's got its downsides and all, but it's remarkably effective.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:58 PM
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most of the sports options seem to expect one had years of training as a child and are returning to it

That's true of the pot smoking as well.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:59 PM
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I admit I have a bit of the "old pants" thing. But the whole notion is really just a placeholder for a general dictum not to let physical limitations, as I get older, get the better of me.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:59 PM
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More points in favor of ultimate: nobody plays it as a kid, it involves a lot of running, but no more than you're comfortable with, people who play it are generally good about bringing beer.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 6:59 PM
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34: you can pick up pot smoking later in life. I'm living proof!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:00 PM
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My experince says 33 is exactly right, though I've known people for whom it had the opposite effect.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:00 PM
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Can we suggest some real sports before we consign her to Ultimate?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:00 PM
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31: I don't buy that, at least outside the major ball sports. You don't need years of training to run or bicycle, swimming is hard to do well but easy to do well enough to get a workout, racquet sports likewise, kayaking and rowing are great fun and great workouts, etc., etc. What was that slogan Nike had a few years back?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:00 PM
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If only they made suit pants with elastic waists.

I'm pretty sure they do. I dare you to wear them.

Also, what B. said.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:00 PM
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Cala, have you tried biking, either road or mountain? You can do it alone -- who needs a stinking league? -- or with friends. You can do it stoned, tweaked out on meth, or sober (preferred). And unless your back or shoulders go out, it's good for life. Plus: the gear. So much titanium, so little time.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:01 PM
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No matter how little I consumed, I couldn't get below 165. I tried and tried, and then I tried some more, upping the mileage on the bike and in the pool, lifting less frequently, and eating even less.

Body builders will take one meal/week and eat whatever they want. Anything. That picks up metabolism for the rest of the week when eating low calorie meals.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:01 PM
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B., intermittent amphetamine abuse makes you an outlier in this population

I swear upon the life of my beloved child that what dropped me from 145 to 117 was birthing him, breastfeeding him, and toting his fat ass all over the Seattle hills on foot. I lost weight like noone's business, it was freaky.

B. again, could you run over and screw Ogged's leaden brains out so he can complain about different things for a change?

Um, no.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:02 PM
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I'll even back Tweety up on Ultimate. We played off and on the first couple of years of law school and it was a lot of fun.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:03 PM
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40: Buy our overpriced shoes?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:03 PM
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The worse you swim, the more exercise you get. Twice the value per minute. Thrash around!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:03 PM
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31: Bah. Yoga's awesome. Also I've become a big fan of the bike--nothing's nicer than actually, you know, having some *practical benefit* to one's exercise.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:04 PM
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you can pick up pot smoking later in life

Not if you want to join one of the really competitive leagues. Unless you're one of those rare natural talents, that is.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:04 PM
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46: No, that's just the perpetual subtext.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:04 PM
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38: Good point, it's not always a guarantee. A good friend going through a really shitty time was venting to me not long ago aqnd ended with, "And you're full of crap, too, because I'm depressed as hell and I gained five pounds." So, your results may vary...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:05 PM
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44: When someone hides behind an innocent child, what can you do?

If B. cared about Ogged,..... well, Ogged would be just as bad off, what with the lead, but Unfogged would be more fun.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:05 PM
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39: what exactly is not real about Ultimate, Esther?

41: yes, they do.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:06 PM
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You pretty much lost it with the vimeo stuff, didn't you tweety?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:08 PM
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44: I forgot about breastfeeding. Way better than depression for weight loss. Side effect, massive breasts. Which may mean little to some. But quite a novelty for those of us aerodynamically built.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:09 PM
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48: Yoga's great, but not intense enough for me. The real problem is boredom. I don't even like weight lifting any more.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:09 PM
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Di, you can safely deduce from first principles that Ogged would be the kind of clinically depressed person who eats quart after quart of ice cream to self-medicate. No, there's nothing for him to do but take up smoking.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:10 PM
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Biking stoned: not recommended. Swimming stoned: can be quite pleasurable, but only if you've already attained cardiopulmonary fitness. Ultimate stoned: whatever.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:10 PM
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49: I call my bong "Wonderboy".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:10 PM
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Does it come when you call it?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:11 PM
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58: biking stoned rules, are you crazy? So fun.

54: I'm trying to recapture my lost youth as a happy idiot.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:11 PM
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57: You're probably going to suggest he wouldn't be willing to breastfeed either, even for the massive breasts.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:12 PM
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Take up a racket sport, Cala. There's usually someone around about your level, whatever that level may be. And getting better at it is satisfying, easier (a bit), and more obvious than it is with ball sports.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:12 PM
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Intense yoga: Ashtanga. "Power" yoga at the trendy studios. Seriously.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:13 PM
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biking stoned rules, are you crazy? So fun.

Fun, but dangerous. Do you live somewhere without cars?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:13 PM
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Just realized that tennis, etc., could be considered ball sports. But, for the purposes of my comment, they aren't.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:13 PM
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Another option for Cala (if I'm remembering location correctly).


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:14 PM
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65: without good sense, more like.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:14 PM
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Cala, you should find a co-ed flag football league.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:15 PM
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Intense yoga: Ashtanga.

Not remotely pleasant, the ashtanga. Like yoga boot camp.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:15 PM
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Then you could be in a beer ad!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:16 PM
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biking stoned rules, are you crazy? So fun.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:17 PM
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Play Nude Twister with Movie Scene Option!


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:17 PM
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You know, I suck at tennis, but my wife and I hit a ball around every day for two weeks while on vacation, and it was a lot of fun and decent exercise.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:18 PM
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70: What? I love it. Wuss.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:19 PM
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Tennis is a lot of fun, I must admit. Not all that much running though, compared to other sports.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:20 PM
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Ogged, out of curiosity, do you still play basketball at all?

On mrh's comment, I should not that I suck worse than him--and I can say that without knowing his skill level--and still have enjoyed the (decidedly) odd tennis game.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:20 PM
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I hate tennis.

Ooh, I know! Dance dance revolution! I so totally want to get that.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:21 PM
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Sometimes, ogged, it's really okay to throw out the borderline-anorexic pants.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:21 PM
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Hey, Tim, want to play some tennis?


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:23 PM
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Sometimes, ogged, it's really okay to throw out the borderline-anorexic pants.

I think you're right, JM. This is the realization I came to today. (Well, I wasn't quite ready to throw them out, but to give up on them.)

Ogged, out of curiosity, do you still play basketball at all?

Nope. Too creaky.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:23 PM
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As long as you're now coming to terms with Fat Ogged, maybe you can learn to be Old Wizened Jump-Shooting, Pick Setting Ogged.


Posted by: SomeCall | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:26 PM
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I'm surprised at how many of the suggestions involve other people: tennis needs a partner, ultimate requires a herd of dipshits (I kid), and people keep mentioning leagues. Cala, do you want to socialize or get in shape? Again, biking will allow you to do both, if you want, or just the latter, if you're a misanthrope.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:27 PM
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Old Wizened Jump-Shooting, Pick Setting Ogged.

Even by our standards, this seems needlessly cruel.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:28 PM
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wrap around skirts look great on guys, ogged - and they do wonders to hide big hips. Just a suggestion.


Posted by: Lucy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:31 PM
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I hear rugby, cricket, soccer and other non-American sports are good for fitness because they require steady activity without any built-in dramatic moments.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:31 PM
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Actually I seem to remember that all the advice while I was dissertating was to take up some kind of long-distance type sport, like running or biking. Something about the mindset.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:31 PM
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75: Well, I suspect it may have had more to do with the instructor than the yoga itself.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:31 PM
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Dude, ogged, you haven't given up on the borderline-anorexic pants until you've taken them to the Goodwill. Or at least that's how it works in my overflowing closet, which is a suitcase right now, unfortunately, godammit.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:32 PM
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Even by our standards, this seems needlessly cruel.

Thank you, baa.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:33 PM
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88: Or maybe the bacon and the smoking.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:34 PM
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"Old Wizened Jump-Shooting, Pick Setting Ogged."

Coming to terms with the reality that my mind could still process what to do -- crossover, take opponent to hoop -- but my body could no longer make it happen was the exact moment I realized that I had entered middle age. I haven't been the same since.

84: So yes, cruel.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:34 PM
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JM, one step at a time, eh?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:34 PM
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I was much younger then, and the bacon and smoking hadn't yet taken much toll.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:35 PM
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Again, biking will allow you to do both, if you want, or just the latter, if you're a misanthrope.

Precisely why biking has always been my preferred mode of exercise (not that I get enough.)


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:35 PM
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Biking is dangerous, man. Any activity that stakes your life on grandma staying awake is right out.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:37 PM
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mm, bacon smoking.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:38 PM
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92: My middle age moment is in progress, and mostly involves realizing that I actually do have to sort of make an effort if I'm not going to begin sliding into couch potatohood and elasticized pants and chronic low level aches and pains.

That and the needing dental work.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:38 PM
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i'd also put in a plug for walking.
it's not as high-intensity as most other sports, but then again,
it's not as high-intensity as most other sports.

as you get older, intensity=wear & tear, if not outright damage.
so it's good to develop a form of exercise you can take with you into your dotage.
and the portions of my life when i have walked 3-5 miles per day, day in and day out, saw me very lean and fit.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:38 PM
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wrap around skirts look great on guys, ogged - and they do wonders to hide big hips.

Just be careful about the length. Knee-length or not more than two inches below, unless you're willing to go all the way down to the ankle. I don't care what Coco Chanel had to say: if the skirt hits you at mid-calf, it'll make your calves look like cattle.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:39 PM
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92: Part of my getting-in-shape program was setting out to see whether I could get ready for a marathon by December. Answer: no. But I have run a couple of longish races after not having raced at all for several years. I finally figured out after the second one that the reason I was dying the last few miles was that I was pacing the first part of the race by running in the part of the pack inhabited by people who run the way I think of myself as running. Which, not having raced in a while, is not how I run but how I used to run.

Age and lard are a nasty combination.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:39 PM
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You guys are so mean about Ultimate. Tennis, biking, ultimate: excellent three-fer. For flexibility throw in some tai chi or Yoga and ta-da! Instant cross-trained fitness hippie.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:40 PM
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Just realized that tennis, etc., could be considered ball sports.

what's the etc.?


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:40 PM
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Walking really only works if you live in a proper city with public transit. Otherwise you look like a doofus walking briskly along the sidewalk to nowhere.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:41 PM
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103: Presumably racquetball, squash, and the like.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:41 PM
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104: you should take up mall walking.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:42 PM
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98: The chronic aches and pains, mostly lower back, began with the first kid. The second has brought searing agony, though not chronic. Seriously, the having kids thing is hard on the body. Difficult to imagine what it does to women. And now we've come full circle to fatty. Too soon?


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:42 PM
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Squash is quite fun. I've thought of taking that up, but my god, talk about playing to type.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:42 PM
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104: Part of what we're counseling here is to embrace your inner doofus and just get out there.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:43 PM
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Wasteland nothing. Ogged, I own two pairs of Levis in 33/34.


Posted by: Trevor | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:43 PM
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104--
the looking like a doofus was going to happen no matter what.
but, yeah, it certainly is true that some locales are more conducive to walking than others.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:43 PM
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Biking is dangerous, man. Any activity that stakes your life on grandma staying awake is right out.

Perhaps it's different way out west, but in these here parts they have bicycle paths that wind their way through lush prairie preserves. I've noted very little threat from dozing grandmas.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:43 PM
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I own two pairs of Levis in 33/34.

Send them to me!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:44 PM
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101: I think age and lard are delicious together.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:44 PM
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106: Right, exactly.

107: The kid hasn't been bad on the ol' aches and pains; it was the fucking graduate work that screwed up my neck.

Although PK jumping on me from the top of six stairs today really did not do me any favors. I told him that, sadly, I think he is now too big to do that ever again.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:44 PM
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107: FWIW, I've had minimal low-back aches and pains since I started kayaking, even intermittently.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:45 PM
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112: oggedville is, surprisingly, pretty horrible for biking. Lots of built up hostility from being nice the rest of the time. The rest of California is swell, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:45 PM
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"I've noted very little threat from dozing grandmas"
exactly.
it's the ones you don't note that get you.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:45 PM
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Levis in 33/34

that's my size, too. weird. again, you can buy them on levi's webiste.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:45 PM
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I refuse to embrace doofushood. I'm still *having* my middle age realization; I haven't embraced it yet.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:45 PM
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Presumably racquetball, squash, and the like.

ah, yes. those.

tennis is great, and i've never had much trouble finding partners.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:48 PM
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GRANDMADOZER FLATTEN ALL BICYCLE


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:49 PM
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Biking might be okay. I'd have to buy a bike. I think I generally do better with skill sports.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:49 PM
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115: "now too big to do that ever again"

So you're trying to force PK to have his own realization-of-middle-age moment. No time like the present, I suppose.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:49 PM
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122: take up hockey.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:49 PM
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122: Maybe it would help if you said something about which sports you've liked in the past. We're kind of flailing away randomly here.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:50 PM
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Biking is dangerous, man.

Yeah, it can be scary sometimes. I like to go here--restricted access, cars go slow, and often don't go through the whole park. And then what do you do during winter? Still, along with some weight lifting, it's the only exercise that's ever worked for me, so I'm sticking with it (or not, depending on when I'm asked.)


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:50 PM
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122: "I generally do better with skill sports."

Nice. I generally do better at things that require no skills at all. No more advice for you, youngster.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:51 PM
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84: There are crueler fates. Like Cherry Picking, No Defense SCMT.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:52 PM
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What exactly are "skill sports"? My gut reaction is to think that means lots of finesse, not so much serious physical activity.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:53 PM
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124: I know, it's very sad. Poor kid.

Then again, the time I realized that I was too big to do that to my mom was the time when she dropped me on the concrete. So I figure taking the wrenching pain and then telling him never again is comparatively kind.

Plus, he'll need to have something to discuss with his therapist when he grows up.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:55 PM
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You should drop him on the concrete just in case, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:55 PM
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126: Sorry about the flailing. I just hear about people getting into interesting things and I realize if someone asked me what my hobbies and interests are everything in my life falls into a 'used to' category except for the goddamn weightlifting.

Fencing, weightlifting, figure skating (really low level) are what I used to do.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:55 PM
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130: Usually things like basketball, baseball, soccer--stuff where you need to learn a skill that is not specifically athletic.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:55 PM
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Cribbage, perhaps.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:56 PM
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133: fencing?!? Well hell, take up Kendo, round out your skill set.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:57 PM
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132: Eh, he'll damage himself all on his own at some point, I'm sure. A mama shouldn't do *everything* for her kid.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:57 PM
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131: If that incident makes the top ten in his therapy sessions, you'll have done pretty well. By contrast, we're making our older boy feel lousy about no longer fitting in his four-year-old pants. "Too tight," we say. "Fatty." "Now go swim more laps."


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:57 PM
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138: You're my hero.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:58 PM
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137: Tell him that in a couple years, you'll be able to jump on him from six stairs up, and thus, the circle of life is complete.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:58 PM
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138: You're raising Ogged, you realize. You must stop, now.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:58 PM
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133: You can still do those, right? And the racquet thing seems like it fits.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 7:59 PM
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141: We bought him a blog for his fifth birthday.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:00 PM
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140: I *totally* tell him stuff like that all the time. "When you grow up, you're going to wipe *my* ass, right?"


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:00 PM
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"Well, doc, my parents would never let me have the sans-a-belt slacks I so desperately needed."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:00 PM
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143: Noooooooo!!!!!!!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:00 PM
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My children will not be allowed near the Internet.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:01 PM
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144: oh, we know.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:01 PM
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147: It doesn't matter what you "allow"; the internet will find them.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:02 PM
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147: Cala, I so look forward to you having kids.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:02 PM
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You and my mom.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:03 PM
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Squatting and snatching are the ideal exercise. As I've tried to tell you several times already.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:03 PM
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For the same reason?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:03 PM
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Snatching what?


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:03 PM
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babies?


Posted by: Trevor | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:04 PM
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155: Also delicious with lard.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:06 PM
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After you squat and snatch, you clean and jerk and everything's all cool again. It's a nice tidy package.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:06 PM
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Related to kendo and fencing, why not martial arts? Built in learning track and instruction. Great workout and it is skill based.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:08 PM
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figure skating (really low level)

I never quite mastered the figures, but I was once a tulip in an ice pageant.

My kid just turned six, and he doesn't even know how to skate. My hockey goon cousins up north are now accusing me of child neglect.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:09 PM
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On this blog, with many academic-type persons, one could almost be certain that many people would be near, ya know, colleges, which often have very nice running/walking trails.

max
['Without cars on them, even.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:09 PM
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154: Purses. Because then you get to sprint afterwards. And sometimes grappling! It's like cross-training.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:10 PM
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159: My kid is a hockey freak and I can't skate. He picked the one sport Dad could be of no assistance whatsoever.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:11 PM
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Is Ogged's height a state secret or can I just be told what it is?


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:11 PM
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Hockey looks like so much fun. But the start-up costs are big.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:13 PM
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163: 7'9". No, just kidding. 4'33".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:13 PM
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It depends on whose body his pod last hatched near.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:14 PM
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Cala needs to join up with these gals.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:14 PM
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164: What's so hard? Buy some skates and a stick, take a ball peen hammer to your front teeth, and you're good to go.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:14 PM
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161: I thought of that. Plus, when you're caught, there's endless opportunity to lift in the prison yard. But the food's kinda starchy, so it's hard to get back into the old pants.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:14 PM
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170

1'8", 780 pounds


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:15 PM
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1'8", 780 pounds

Imperial lbs or American lbs?


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:17 PM
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Ogged, 696 kg/m of pure fitness.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:19 PM
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I heard he had, like thirty goddamn dicks but they were all tired from chopping onions.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:21 PM
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158: Plus you get the gift of humility, as everyone from elderly Japanese men to young American women corrects you on absolutely everything.

You could try paragliding. Hiking back up the training hill, or to launch from wherever you parked, reminds you that the wing is a heavier-than-air craft.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:21 PM
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I tried martial arts once, and I liked it, but the instructors had a little too much 'I possess the wisdom of the East' thing going on. I doubt that's universal.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:23 PM
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Ogged, 696 kg/m of pure fitness.

Do you mean /m³?


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:23 PM
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You could try paragliding.

Or kitesurfing. That looks like a blast. But the learning curve has got to be non-trivial.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:24 PM
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Related to kendo and fencing, why not martial arts? Built in learning track and instruction. Great workout and it is skill based.

Just don't be like the asshats I see on the lawn outside my office, or at the nearby park, prancing around in black robes they have clearly designed for themselves and generally trying and failing to have the sorority girls that go by be tremendously impressed by their fu.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:25 PM
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Doofus-fu!


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:26 PM
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Christ you would not believe these guys. I should take a photo sometime.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:27 PM
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177: Depends on how many broken bones you mean by "trivial."


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:27 PM
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178: Are those Society for Creative Anachronism nerds? LARPers? Some lower form of nerd not yet generally known?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:28 PM
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Just don't be like the asshats I see on the lawn outside my office, or at the nearby park, prancing around in black robes

Are you sure those guys aren't doing Tai Chi or something. Man I wouldn't want to practice without a mat.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:29 PM
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176: no.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:29 PM
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175: The actual wisdom of the East seems to consist in large part of elderly Japanese men hitting you with a stick to get your attention, and then hitting you again to correct the position of your arm, leg, head, etc.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:30 PM
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181: I'd worry more about entanglement and drowning, or just spending all of your time fishing a soggy kite out of the water instead of the cool flying-off-waves bit.

Also, the "non" in "non-trivial" is doing some work there.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:30 PM
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175: it definitely is. Try going to one class various places until you find somebody who's not totally insufferable.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:30 PM
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Yeah, I've met some people who got injured pretty seriously kitesurfing. Sure is impressive to watch, though.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:30 PM
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I too have punked out on every athletic activity I've tried, aside from walking to work (and cribbage).


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:31 PM
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187 s/b "definitely is not," as in "not universal."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:31 PM
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I rescind my rollerderby suggestion. Cala should take up larping. Think of the cardio workout you'll get from running around the woods, hitting people with a duct tape encrusted styrofoam cylinder while screaming, "SIX FIRE! SIX FIRE!.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:31 PM
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"


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:31 PM
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192: and here I was going to exploit your quote overflow.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:32 PM
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I bet somebody'll get that, dammit.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:33 PM
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So, anyway, I says to Mabel, I says, "


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:34 PM
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Have you guys heard about the laughter groups? Some yoga spin-off where you sit around and laugh for the whole class? The problem is, they use the premise "you don't need a reason to laugh" which I find galling. I have the whole visceral "Mom, don't embarrass me at the mall, okay?" feeling towards these people who don't have the common sense to be embarrased.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:34 PM
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196: God, no. Are they related to the irredeemably insane cuddle party movement?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:36 PM
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196: right, it'd be better if they had somebody falling face first into gravel over and over again. Then you wouldn't feel so dumb about laughing.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:36 PM
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The hitting with a stick is just normal apprenticeship training. Mark Twain has it in "Life on the Mississippi". It as usually accompanied by "You dunderhead!!!!!!!" and then a lot of stuff Twain couldn't include.

Japanese, of course, do it all in an artsy way.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:36 PM
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188: How'd they hurt themselves? Collisions? Bury the board and try to pull themselves apart with the kite? I mostly just see people who know what they're doing so I don't have too much sense of what the non-drowning risks are, other than just not being able to make the thing work.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:37 PM
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Are you sure those guys aren't doing Tai Chi or something.

I'm quite sure. They're a mix of very skinny and very tubby nerds and the instructor has a tan and a ponytail. They have kendo-like sticks which they pretend to fight each other with, and they are particularly fond of a kind of "lightning flurry of kicks" move which looks lame but is worth watching because the "defense" move is to run backward while bitchslapping the other guy.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:38 PM
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Are they related to the irredeemably insane cuddle party movement?

Probably not. It's a movement started by psychiatrists.

A lot of psychiatrists have started to accept that as odd as it sounds, laughing for no reason makes you feel better. Just like sitting with your head in your hands makes you feel more depressed, or clenching your teeth makes you feel angry.

Of course this all may be socially conditioned and after doing it for months the effect may wear away, but it's true.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:39 PM
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Hang gliding can be fatal if you forget to connect every single one of the connections just right. Happened to a friend of a friend. Fucking picky, anal hanggliders.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:39 PM
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Hang gliding can be fatal if you forget to connect every single one of the connections just right. Happened to a friend of a friend. Fucking picky, anal hanggliders.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:41 PM
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Take that, insufferable Red Sox fans. Sorry, a nervous tic.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:41 PM
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204: The oral ones aren't so bad, though.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:42 PM
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What sort of sports can one take up in her late twenties?

Capoeira.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:42 PM
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196: But laughing for an hour straight would be fun! And what better reason could you get for laughing than to sit in a room full of idiots laughing for no reason?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:43 PM
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Since this is the thread of the moment, I want to reveal that I searched Wikipedia for "Unfogged" to see if it had an entry for some mad reason.

My search brought up the articles on:
- John Derbyshire
- a 1977 Italian soft-core porn movie called Maladolescenza
- "List of fictional books within the Harry Potter series"
- "List of fictional books"

I don't think that's a very good synopsis of what goes on here, but it could be worse.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:43 PM
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203: it makes sense cognitively; a lot of your internal sense of what your emotional state is gets formed by external cues, as far as they can tell. If you're smiling for no reason the brain assumes it must be because you're happy. I love that it's possible to outsmart yourself like that. See, reflective self-awareness? You're not so smart, after all.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:44 PM
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154: Purses. Because then you get to sprint afterwards. And sometimes grappling! It's like cross-training.

Urban sprinting.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:45 PM
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Is Ogged's height a state secret or can I just be told what it is?

The ogged is the six feets tall.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:45 PM
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Some yoga spin-off where you sit around and laugh for the whole class

In this case, doing while stoned is obviously recommended.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:46 PM
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I think the laughing thing was started by an Indian guru type. I saw some video of laughers that was quite alarming. It seemed more like barking than laughing.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:46 PM
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In this case, doing while stoned is obviously recommended.

The question is whether it's more expensive to pay for the class, or pay for the weed and replicate the experience at home.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:48 PM
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In fact: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXgdSOxaCGI


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:48 PM
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The ogged is the six feets tall.

Hmm, same as me.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:49 PM
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The Ogged looks taller than six feet.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:50 PM
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216: Somehow it's like watching Barney the dinosaur.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:50 PM
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The Ogged looks taller than six feet.

Because it is lanky. Although someone recently told the Ogged he looks shorter than six feet. Someone was probably trying to be mean.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:51 PM
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It's an optical inches thing.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:51 PM
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He looks taller because he shaves his feet.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:52 PM
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220: so I'm taller and fatter than you. In your face!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:52 PM
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It's an optical inches thing.

So you're saying as his hair gets thinner, he looks taller?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:52 PM
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so I'm taller and fatter than you. In your face!

Sifu's face is taller and fatter than Ogged's.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:53 PM
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For those of us unable to read every comment anymore (sad but true), who are "those dickheads"?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:53 PM
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Funny, there was an article about "laughing yoga" in the local paper this morning.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:55 PM
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226: I don't think anyone knows.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:55 PM
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The Ogged looks taller than six feet.

From what I hear he only weighs about 160lbs, so this would figure.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:56 PM
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226: Read the archives.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:57 PM
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225: you are almost certainly correct.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:57 PM
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The Ogged wears lifts and vertical stripes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:57 PM
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170lbs., baby.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:58 PM
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170 lbs and with stretch marks?!?

I take it back. You totally need to lose weight.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 8:59 PM
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200: One got picked way up by a heavy gust and dragged many yards through scrub trees. The others were knee and back injuries.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:00 PM
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Apo, I hope you followed that urban sprinting link.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:04 PM
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235: Yikes. Staying on/over water does look like an important part of the program. Knee and back stuff sounds like what you'd do if board and kite decided to go in different directions, which, again, bad.

A couple of guys I know used a big kite to pull a tandem kayak, one in the front working full time to control the kite and the other in back working full time to try to keep the kayak pointed in the same direction as the kite. It was reported to be quite a ride, but I think they only did it once.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:05 PM
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236 is correct. Excellent use of the chase scene music from Raising Arizona, too.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:10 PM
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Heh. What is he shouting at them before he runs?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:11 PM
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It's a movement started by psychiatrists.

So, I'm reasonably pseudonymous, right?

My father (God love him) thinks homosexuality is a movement started by psychiatrists. "They can make you gay," he pronounces. "Who, Daddy? Who can make you gay?" "Ah well, you know...." Me, not cooperating, fixing him with a blank stare. "Christ, well, you know...well, we never even heard tell of such nonsense until they [the psychiatrists] started sniffing around."

Um. Well, anyhoo, we now return to our regularly scheduled programming...


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:15 PM
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240: you should play him the "This American Life" about the APA's decision to remove homosexuality's classification as a mental disorder. Don't know that it would change his mind, but it'd be funny..


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:16 PM
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I'm back to my college-age pants size, 34 x 34, for the first time in 35 years. When I was in graduate school, when I met my wife, when we were married, when our children were born, I was larger.

Serious cycling, now possible in Chicago year round due to climate change, it seems.

I'm about 15 pounds heavier than I was "when I wore a younger man's clothes" the last time. Don't know why.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:17 PM
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58: now i'm dreaming of bong-snorkles


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:21 PM
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Tennis is like swimming, in that you get a better workout when you suck. The problem is finding people who are equally bad. The sweet spot is people who can reliably hit it over the net and in bounds, but have no more control than that. Sends you running all over the court.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:21 PM
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"They can make you gay,"

It's funny because it's true.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:22 PM
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Sounds like IA's father has been talking to my president.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:24 PM
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Bong Snorkles will be my name when I go into the porn industry.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:24 PM
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Cala, really, ice hockey. You can already skate, and there's nothing like a good cathartic board check.

I never would have guessed it, but my wife has really enjoyed dragonboating, and more recently outrigger canoe racing. One thing about this is that anywhere you go, you can call ahead, and sit in on a practice. And go drinking afterwards. I had no idea how popular dragonboating is: we were up in Philly a couple weekends ago for the 8th annual tournament there, and they had 142 teams. It's big in Pittsburgh now two, and maybe wherever it is you are currently . . .

Racing season is over, but they still practice until its too cold, and work out with their machines etc through the winter. (The DC team is kind of wimpy -- they'll bring the boats in a few weeks hence. The Nanaimo team paddles year round).


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:25 PM
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I think I might have a stress fracture. If you try to stay really active after 35, it's just one damn injury after another.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:25 PM
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I used to wear pants 3 sizes too big, just because thats how most guys wear them. Which is probably why they don't notice a change in a waist size or two.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:27 PM
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I will have a theme song, too --- "Mr Bong Snorkles."


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:27 PM
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I will have a theme song, too --- "Mr Bong Snorkles."

Which should be played on the skin flute.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:29 PM
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IA's dad and our president illustrate an interesting point: these ideas are just as common in Canada, but don't effect policy.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:32 PM
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Bong Snorkles will be my name when I go into the porn industry.

On the one hand, thank god you have tenure. On the other hand, what hath tenure wrought?

246: My father hates your president.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:33 PM
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That's just the narcissism of small differences. Also invented by the shrinks, but there you have it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:35 PM
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I knew a man Bong Snorkles and he'd snorkle bongs for you
In worn out shoes
With silver hair, a ragged shirt, and baggy pants
The old soft shoe
He got so high, got oh so high
Then he lightly dove in

I met him in a pool in New Orleans I was
down and out
He looked to me to be the eyes of age
as he spoke right out
He talked of life, talked of life, he laughed
snapped his hips and stepped

He said his name "Bong Snorkles" and he swam a lap
across the pool
He grabbed his pants and spread his stance,
Oh he jumped so high and then he snapped his hips
He let go a laugh, let go a laugh
and shook back his clothes all around

Mr. Bong Snorkles, Mr. Bong Snorkles
Mr. Bong Snorkles, dance


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:36 PM
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This gives a good idea of the spread of dragon boating. It's big in Canada, Europe, and the Antipodes as well.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:37 PM
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Re: 207 - Before taking capoeira, work out rigurously for about six months, let me tell you- it is a killer if you're not prepared!


Posted by: Lucy | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:41 PM
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When that song makes money I'm getting half the royalties sifu.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:41 PM
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Say, you know what makes me tear my hair out? Co-authors, that's what.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:41 PM
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Co-authors you can't boss around, you mean.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:45 PM
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259: oh, for sure. We can go in on a gold-plated bong snorkle together, like a timeshare thing.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:49 PM
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261: How very right you are.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 9:57 PM
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Somewhat embarrassing update

Oh yeah, soooooo embarrassing.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 10:14 PM
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;-)


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 10:15 PM
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I'll tell you what's embarrassing for poor ogged: low-rise jeans? How many Dashboard Confessional CDs do you own, exactly?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 10:17 PM
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I thought B would be the one to make fun of me for those. I have a pair of low-rise jeans; they actually look pretty good, so gay up, tweety.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 10:19 PM
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Hi, have you even seen my links in the other thread? If I were any gayer right now I'd be Republican. Still: low-rise jeans? I'm totally telling North Face.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 10:22 PM
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Gods, ogged.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 10:27 PM
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I really don't understand trousers that aren't low rise, except for suit trousers that one wears with braces. every pair of medium or high rise trousers i have will fall down, no matter how goddamn tight i have them (excepting braces, latin phrase)


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 11:16 PM
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I really don't understand trousers that aren't low rise

Dude: Sinatra, looking smooth.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 11:20 PM
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271: It's true, that is a nice pleated skirt that Francie is wearing, there. Rather sever hairstyle for a ladie, though.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 11:28 PM
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i'm not saying they don't look good. although i prefer the current low-rise trouser and short jacket combo, but it can look good either way. its a functional argument: they just don't work for me.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 11:30 PM
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that jacketdoes appear to be like a dozen sizes too big


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 10-15-07 11:31 PM
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re: 175 and 178

The solution to that is to choose a not 'teh-wisdom-of-teh-Orient' martial art, e.g. thai boxing, kick-boxing, savate, ordinary western-boxing, etc.* Also, controversially, all of those martial arts are considerably more likely to leave you with some genuine 'hitting people' skills than many (but not all) of the 'teh-wisdom-of-teh-Orient' things.

Martial arts are great for some things, in my experience, but not great for others. Improved co-ordination, flexibility, improved muscle tone [particularly in weird little muscles that only really get worked on by gymnasts, dancers and martial artists], and good classes can be a lot of fun. The people, in my experience, are generally pretty nice* and having an avenue to unleash some aggression is also pretty good. Also, the skill factor is high, which can sustain interest over long periods of time. Also, yay, hitting people.

On the other hand, I'd be very surprised if it'd increase your aerobic fitness as much as lots of the other forms of exercise already mentioned. Hard martial arts training is more anaerobic than aerobic. Short bursts of very very intense effort punctuated by periods of relatively low effort. A hard martial arts class is more like an hour or more of interval training than it is like sustained exercise. Reasonably high levels of martial arts practice are compatible with being quite fat [as I should know].

Martial arts classes that are more like sustained aerobic exercise classes [the various kickboxercise type things] are likely to be totally shit for actually learning a martial art, iyswim.

* Fencing also totally rocks and is really good fun.

** I've been to quite a few martial arts classes and generally the asshole-quota has been lower than you'd typically find in any common-or-garden exercise class.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 12:49 AM
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Do you think it will be therapy-worthy in later life that we bought our son dumbbells for his 7th birthday yesterday?

Also, I'm thinking of trying Pilates - any opinions?


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 1:04 AM
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re: 276

A lot of people recommend that kids don't start using weights until they are older than that. However, I've no idea if that means 'no incredibly hard weight training but light exercise with dumb-bells is OK' or if it means 'no weight training, and we bloody mean it'.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 1:14 AM
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What ttaM said about martial arts classes. Lot of crap out there. Avoid stuff that's heavy on katas and other choreographed shit, and look for places where you do a fair amount of actual sparring.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 1:27 AM
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I doubt many kids have the muscle to do the kind of weights it would take to damage them. A 60 pound kid that jumps off something three feet high hits with what, something like a couple hundred pounds of force IIRC.

But kids usually find weights boring. Gymnastics will make them strong, and they'll have a lot of fun.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 1:42 AM
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We got him the dumbbells (only little ones - 0.5kg, 1kg, 1.5kg) because he's forever doing lifts with tins of beans. The ~400g tins just fit in his hands, so that was ok, but when he decided to move onto the ~800g ones, and kept dropping them them as his hands aren't big enough, we thought dumbbells would be safer.

He likes press-ups and sit-ups too - I should find some kiddie boot camp in which to enrol him.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 2:08 AM
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re: 278

Speaking of sparring, I fought in my first competition this weekend. That was ... interesting. Nice array of bruises, and I lost both matches, but quite good fun.

279 and 280 make sense. What about gymnastics? As a form of boot camp? That always looked fun [I was jealous of my little sister who went to gymnastics].


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 2:26 AM
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i doubt trying to lift weights would do any good, but it definatly won't cause any problems


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 2:50 AM
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240: My father (God love him) thinks homosexuality is a movement started by psychiatrists.

Well, that's what Foucault said. In a sense.

Way back before you people were born, in the fifties, there was a tremendous hue and cry about homosexuality, mostly in a Freudian therapeutic context but also in Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, and all kinds of pop trash. It was generally agreed that mothers were to blame.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 5:35 AM
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"Oh, I can barely fit into 30" waist jeans! Oh, the cheap houses in my neighborhood cost $800K! Pity me for not being rich and thin enough!"


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 6:12 AM
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283 to 137


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 6:29 AM
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It was generally agreed that mothers were to blame.

"My mother made me a homosexual." "Oooo, could she make one for me, too?"

Ogged, I feel your pain. After years of wearing a size 32, I yearn for the size 29s of my glorious college days. I even dare to imagine that if I stopped drinking my weight in beer every week, then I could probably do so.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 7:00 AM
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36-38 here, 5'6". I hardly care. I usually wear loose shirts, though.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 7:05 AM
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i doubt trying to lift weights would do any good, but it definatly won't cause any problems

Weights are great because they tone you up and you can find whatever weights feel right, including light weights. And you feel better afterwards instead of all those aches and pains that come with running, for example. I ran for many years and always felt bad for people who were obviously miserable running. Going from inactivity straight to running is cruel.


Posted by: terpbball | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 7:05 AM
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Also, I'm thinking of trying Pilates - any opinions

I really enjoy pilates. It is probably one of the best all round core exercise system that I have found.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 7:46 AM
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Unfogged:

Where the men have 32" waists and the women have large breasts.

Where 90 percent of the people are descendants of Mayflower people.

Where everyone is smart and plays well with others.


(ok, so maybe not that last one.)


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:30 AM
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Little kids shouldn't do serious weighttraining for two reasons. Before puberty they can't make the sort of serious strength gains an adult can (hormones aren't there.) And if they're lifting really heavy weights, there's a risk that they can injure their backs and growth plate.

But that's a risk of serious training, not messing around with 5lb weights or starting an exercise program.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:37 AM
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Does anyone know of a reason for an eight-year-old not to jog? Sally's been saying that her friend Johanna goes jogging with her dad, why don't we? I can't think of a reason not to, other than the actually getting up in the morning problem (I think this is going to be a once-a-week on Saturdays thing), but does anyone know if there's some "little kids shouldn't run for more than a mile at a time" issue?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:41 AM
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large breasts

really?


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:42 AM
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And that is a nice website. You know what I notice about it -- the writing's clear and coherent. Colloquial, but it doesn't drift into meaninglessness, and most weightlifting websites do.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:43 AM
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Whoops, 294 is in entirely the wrong thread.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:43 AM
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292: Because she'll slow you down.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:51 AM
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re: 296

I don't know how fit Sally is, but when I was 8 I'd have killed a lot of adults at jogging. The slowing down would be the other way round.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:53 AM
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when I was 8 I'd have killed a lot of adults at jogging.

Those Scots are vicious ruffians, even as children.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:55 AM
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292 - I'd bet little kids can exercise as long as they want. and that they'll self-regulate when they're no longer enjoying it. I can't imagine there's any reason to restrict it. It doesn't seem that different from going out and playing basketball for hours.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:56 AM
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Where the men have 32" waists and the women have large breasts.

Would this be a good time to mention that I can still fit comfortably into my 20-year-old leather pants?

Where 90 percent of the people are descendants of Mayflower people.

And some of them are were unknowingly related to each other!

(ok, so maybe not that last one.)

I bet the people on the Mayflower spent a lot of time on the boat criticizing each other's grammar.

max
['Trapped on the intertubes at sea!']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 8:57 AM
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Can we suggest some real sports before we consign her to Ultimate?

Not sure if I'll get far enough in this thread to actually make a relevant comment... But screw you, Ogged.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 9:02 AM
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296, 297: I honestly don't know who can outrun who this week -- six months ago I'd have run her into the ground, but I haven't been doing much of anything athletic since July or so, and her TKD class seems to run them pretty hard.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 9:04 AM
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re: 298

This is, of course, true.

[But seriously, we used to live about 1.5 miles from school. And to save money, me and my friends used to run home from school at lunch time, eat, and then run back. Our parents let us keep the bus-fare (about 35p a week iirc) which was big money when you are 8. We did that most of the time.]


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 9:04 AM
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293: No.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 9:09 AM
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304:

hush. don't ruin it for him.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 9:14 AM
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305: Actually, I don't think that's a bad thing.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 9:16 AM
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F'ing a'hole. ;-)


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 9:17 AM
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Re. Update: THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT ASSESSING YOUR FITNESS OR ANYTHING ELSE BY CLOTHING SIZE OR NUMBERS ON THE SCALE IS FUCKING STUPID.

Gah.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 10:12 AM
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RIGHT YOU ARE SOUL SISTA


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 10:13 AM
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And to save money, me and my friends used to run home from school at lunch time, eat, and then run back.

Barefoot. "Mmm, mom! That boiled grass soup was really good today, like always! Could I have another piece of offal?"


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 10:20 AM
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re: 310

Hehe. No. It was quite a pleasant round-trip. Also, meant we could sometimes squeeze in 10 minutes of football, and go to the shop to spend our ill-gotten 5p on sweets.

This sounds like an Oor Wullie strip, of course.

http://www.thatsbraw.co.uk/Oor%20Wullie/Oor_Wullie-jings_and_crivvens.htm


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 10:27 AM
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I thought B would be the one to make fun of me for those. I have a pair of low-rise jeans; they actually look pretty good, so gay up, tweety.

Nah, I like low-rise jeans because they go under the mama belly rather than constricting one's breathing apparatus. Let it all hang out and be comfortable, say I.

Plus, on men? Hawt.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 10:57 AM
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Katzenjammerish, especially in the drawing, but the kid is less destructive than the Katzenjammers.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 11:02 AM
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re: 313

There are some strips where he gets mildly 'naughty'. The real anarchic stuff being produced by the same publishing house was the Beano material. Oor Wullie was always quite deliberately nostalgic. That linked strip is from the early 40s but strips from the 80s look exactly the same.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 11:07 AM
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"Christ, well, you know...well, we never even heard tell of such nonsense until they [the psychiatrists] started sniffing around."

I was thinking about this and have something else to say. Adjusting our usually-reliable common sense to accommodate the fact that important facts and knowledge are being withheld can be very disconcerting, and many people are tempted to balk. Knowledge of homosexuality was one of these, and many people still feel that if it was nowhere to be seen once—even though all around us—and now seems to be part of every community, that it must have recently arrived. The thought that we weren't in the know offends our vanity on some level.

I sometimes think neoconservatism gets most of its traction and plausibility from this outraged "common sense" that is in fact no such thing, because manufactured media images account for so much of what people believe they've "experienced."

In the very years IA's dad was growing up, my dad, in the same county, probably, was becoming very aware of homosexuality, because he worked with a number who were quite "out" for the period, and they were his friends.

As I think I've said before, he never told my mother about this, about how many of their friends were, although he was happy to tell me when the issue became open in the early seventies. This indicates that he thought of it as a species of fact where you had to judge the hearer, and he judged that I'd be fine with it, being a child of the times, and she wouldn't.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-16-07 12:38 PM
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