Re: Just for today, all you punks can stay on my lawn.

1

Happy Birthday, you magnificent red stallion. Contact us from the Other Side if you can.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:22 AM
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Congratulations. As long as you're old at heart, you'll always look younger than you feel inside. The sense of humor should probably either be discarded or severed from the outside world, though-- funny non-sequiturs that show you're paying attention are a young person's thing.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:23 AM
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You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:24 AM
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You know how when you read about someone turning a certain age that is younger than you are? And that person seems to have accomplished so much more than you have?

Yea, nobody felt like that when I turned 40 either.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:25 AM
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Wait, am I the oldest of the 10 front pagers listed?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:26 AM
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Aw, feverish baby. Sounds like a good day to nap on the couch with the baby sleeping on your chest -- on a chilly day, a baby with a fever is better than a space heater.

And happy birthday!


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:28 AM
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accomplished so much more than you have

I have outbred most of my contemporaries, but that's about it.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:28 AM
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5: Older than me, although not all that much. I dunno from Unf or Bob, but I'm pretty sure you're older than the rest of us, Gramps.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:28 AM
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Happy birthday.

Jack Benny ruined 39, but you'll find soon enough that the 40s rock. With the right amount of wine and cheese.


Posted by: Napi | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:29 AM
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am I the oldest of the 10 front pagers listed?

Indeed you are. Happy birthday, and don't fall in the shower, ok?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:32 AM
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Hm, older ... crow's feet ... weathered skin ... you should check your answering machine -- you may have a message from an infatuated Iranian.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:34 AM
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Great funky set!

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- Denzel Washington really *nailed* Malcolm's inflections and rhythms.

Oh, and happy b'day old man!


Posted by: NCProsecutor | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:34 AM
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Many happy returns, whatever the hell that means.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:36 AM
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You've got a family; You can afford good liquor; You don't need anything from me. Happy birthday nonetheless. Just promise that you'll pass on your preternatural internetting to the next generation, when they come of age.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:37 AM
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Happy Birthday, you filthy, filthy man.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:37 AM
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Before you know it, you'll be an opinionated grandpa!


Posted by: mano negra | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:38 AM
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39 does have a strange resonance, maybe because of remembered jokes about Benny, and I can remember feeling aware of age in a new way. I was changing the clutch on my old Subaru in the dead of winter the year I was 39, hoisting the VW-like engine up via a pulley on the rafters, instead of lifting the car up and off it like you did on the old beetles, and thinking for the first time "Maybe I'm too old for this."

I started listening to classical music almost exclusively around that time.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:40 AM
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In some places they'd say you're already 40 as in "you're in your 40th year." Too late, you missed 39.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:44 AM
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Happy birthday, Apo. You give us all something to look forward to.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:50 AM
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Today's your birthday!


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:51 AM
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It is a chilling thought that when Mozart was Apo's age...

Happy birthday, ya big lug.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:56 AM
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I started the day by getting a cracked filling

There are worse ways to start the day. Typo, btw.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:59 AM
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Just think, when George W Bush was your age he was still a happy, ineffectual, drink-sozzled cokehead MBA, who'd never caused the death of a single other human being, nor achieved anything else remarkable in his entire life.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 8:59 AM
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Indeed you are.

Apo is teh Patriarch(y)!


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:01 AM
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Happy Birthday Apo! We will toast to your families health tonight.


Posted by: Fleur | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:03 AM
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Happy day, Apo.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:05 AM
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who'd never caused the death of a single other human being

That we know of.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:06 AM
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Happy Birthday Apo!


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:06 AM
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23: Apostropher for President in '22: Don't sweat the youthful indiscretions, and they were all youthful indiscretions.

Many more, Apo.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:09 AM
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Apostropher gets two birthday wishes this year.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:15 AM
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23: I should have gotten that MBA.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:16 AM
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Happy birthday, Apoppy!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:29 AM
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Happy Birthday Apo. Many happy returns (less an ill baby).


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:34 AM
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Happy birthday, you young whippersnapper. Now get the hell off my lawn.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:43 AM
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Congratulations! Your dating pool has grown!


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:51 AM
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Instead of a birthday cake, how about a plate of deep-fried, bacon-wrapped twinkies?


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:55 AM
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Happy birthday, Apo. Your turn signal has been on for the last couple of miles, by the way.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:56 AM
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On behalf of the redheads who aren't going to breed, I thank you for perpetuating the race and putting a genetic smackdown on hair-coloured hair.

Oh, and happy birthday. You coming to Pledge Formal?


Posted by: KJ | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 10:34 AM
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39

39!


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 10:42 AM
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40

I love you!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 11:30 AM
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Happy birthday Apo! The good news is that turning 39 is way worse than turning 40. The bad news is that turning 41 is worse yet.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 11:43 AM
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I love you!

Blume, I have very strong affection for you too.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 11:46 AM
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40: I'm sorry, it could never work between us.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 11:50 AM
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I love you!

Now you're just trolling.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 11:54 AM
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I was making good on my promise to apo to get it over with already and declare my love to him. On his birthday.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 11:56 AM
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Happy Birthday, Apo. So glad that you are brining the "dirty old man" stereotype into the 21st Century.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 11:58 AM
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Happy birthday, youngster!


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:03 PM
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48

brining the "dirty old man" stereotype

This is turning into a food thread, isn't it?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:04 PM
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Re 40: Apo, I'm going to counsel you not to respond with "You're great, too."

Happy birthday, BTW.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:04 PM
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This is turning into a food thread, isn't it?

worse, a diaper thread.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:04 PM
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50: worse, a combination of the two.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:12 PM
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52

I don't think I'd ever say that in the middle of that.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:20 PM
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53

"Ththatat"

Nope, doesn't work.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:22 PM
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Ththatat, I believe.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:22 PM
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See? It's all garbled. You can't get your mouth around it.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:25 PM
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wickeln Sie Ihre Öffnung um meine Aromafestlichkeit, Zuckerbrüste auf.

Special birthday message, apo.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:32 PM
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I have felt significantly older and closer to death since I turned 40 recently. This is despite the fact that my own 40th birthday occurred under optimal conditions (natural beauty, lots of athletic sex). On the other hand, your child probably connects you to the ongoing cycle of life in a rich and earthy (even fecal) sort of way.


Posted by: PerfectlyGoddamnDelightful | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:38 PM
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You gotta put the prefix from your verb before the term of endearment, Tweety.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:39 PM
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auf Zuckerbrüste?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:41 PM
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Mit Komma vor dem Namen, Schätzelein.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:45 PM
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You can't get your mouth around it.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:46 PM
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I don't know that I've ever been called "treasure flax" before.

Apo: wickeln Sie Ihre Öffnung um meine Aromafestlichkeit auf, Zuckerbrüste.

Pedantisch!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:47 PM
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Noch pedantischer: you typed it into Babelfish without the umlaut, didn't you?


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:50 PM
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Babelfish sez: winding it your opening around my flavour festiveness up, sugar chests.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:51 PM
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63: Nein! Ich bilde umlauts wie Blähung.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:53 PM
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I'm not sure it's altogether good for my German to be even trying to figure out what you mean.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:56 PM
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mein Deutsch ist so großartig wie ein enormer glühender Aufsatz der Schlangen!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:57 PM
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I don't think I'd ever say that in the middle of that.

I think the preferred fashion is to say "Generalkonsulat" (SFW, notwithstanding the warnings)


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:59 PM
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Kein Geschlechtsverkehr, nur Umarmen.


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 12:59 PM
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Actually, only my male member is the Mercedes of sex organs.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 1:25 PM
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A belated (by internet standards) happy birthday, Apo!


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 1:30 PM
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my male member is the Mercedes of sex organs

But can it pass the moose test?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 1:57 PM
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Happy motherfucking birthday, Apo, you dirty old man!


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 1:59 PM
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72: Moose, sheep, dog....


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 2:23 PM
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Happy birthday!

Have some delicious cake.


Posted by: winna | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 2:29 PM
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Happy birthday, apo.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 2:40 PM
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Have a funky birthday, apostropher. Many happy punctuations of it as well.


Posted by: Wrenae | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 3:37 PM
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78

Happy birthday! You'll always be 10 months younger than I am, so there's that.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 4:30 PM
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79

Happy birthday, stranger!


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 4:54 PM
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Congratulations on your impending passage from charmingly quirky young man to disturbingly creepy old man. All the best.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 5:01 PM
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Congratulations.

BTW, I suddenly realized that you are the target audience for Songs For Parents Who Enjoy Drugs (lyrics).

It isn't his best album, but how can you resist the title.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 7:28 PM
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Still seven minutes left to say, happy birthday.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 11-28-07 9:55 PM
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A day late, dollar short, but happy birthday!


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 1:02 PM
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Happy birthday! I've been in cronehood for almost four months now, and it ain't so bad. Hope the baby feels better soon.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-29-07 6:26 PM
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