Re: Would you like to see my seven inches?

1

Did you score?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:08 PM
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You'll need to buy another one before the line really works.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:09 PM
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3

When?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:09 PM
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noöone

Too clever by 1/3.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:10 PM
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5

Possibly too clever even for the New Yorker.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:11 PM
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6

Shit.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:14 PM
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My seven inches haven't gotten much use lately, since my turntable didn't survive the cross-state drive.

Should I get one of those USB turntables? This? Or get a regular turntable, connect it with a regular line-in, and try to make mp3s with only the simplest software?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:16 PM
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Long have Anglophones sought for a graphic representation of the word "no one". Alas, the only consensus is that the problem is a thorny one indeed, and that the diaeresis mark is not the solution.

Except maybe for metal bands -- because, you know, who really gives a shit?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:18 PM
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Petër Noöne was hella metal.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:19 PM
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10

one of these


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:20 PM
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11

10->7


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:20 PM
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12

OK, that's about 40 times what I was hoping to spend.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:21 PM
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The problem is a thorny one, you say?

"Noþne"

Hm.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:21 PM
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In space, noöone can hear you scream.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:21 PM
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One of the assistants was walking around gathering lunch orders from people for subs.

She shouted to me, "Will, 8 inches or 12 inches?"

My cute, young assistant innocently responded for me from her desk, "Oh, 12 inches!"

Laughter broke out. She turned red and said, "That isnt what I meant!"

Fortunately, for the lawsuit, I kept my mouth shut, except to tell them not to give my assistant a hard time.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:32 PM
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You know, before meeting him, I imagined will would be a lot larger than he is.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:33 PM
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Incidentally, the Chinese have shunned the diaeresis mark. To distinguish between two-syllable xi + an and one-syllable xian (which is not a merger of the first, but quite different), they use an apostrophe: xi'an vs. xian. And basically, I hate that. But I don't like the diaeresis mark either. I'd write it xi-an.

There are very few actual combinations requiring diaeresis.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:33 PM
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You know, before meeting him, I imagined will would be a lot larger than he is.

w-lfs-n, I am an open-minded guy. Your fantasies about me do not disturb me.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:41 PM
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On a related note, one of the lawyers just walked up to an assistant and said that he heard she was "the XL Queen."

She indignantly replied that she was a Size 6! He turned red.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:47 PM
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20

He attempted to stammer something about spreadsheets, but the damage was already done.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:48 PM
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Astounded this song has not yet been linked. I thought you people were supposed to be cock joke professionals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r33hCQHokGg


Posted by: PerfectlyGoddamnDelightful | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:51 PM
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w-lfs-n, you're doing yourself a disservice. Pick up some EPs and offer the young lady ten inches and an evening of aural pleasure.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 1:54 PM
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Yeah, ben. Get into the groove, boy, you've got to prove your love to [her].


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 2:06 PM
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21: People are probably far more familiar with this version.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 2:08 PM
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12: 10 wasn't serious.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 2:23 PM
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The title of this post reminds me of Harry's Hutton's appeal to the internets: "How would you like to get your hands on my dong?"


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 2:30 PM
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w-lfs-n has at his command a well-known archive of pictures of Unfogged cocks and yet he thinks it necessary to purchase musical props to entice the laydeez. So sad. So wasteful.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 2:45 PM
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Wow, Heath Ledger is dead and Jose Padilla was sentenced to 17 years in prison. I think this is not a slow news day.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 2:54 PM
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Pick up some EPs and offer the young lady ten inches and an evening of aural pleasure

Fleur has a French cousin named "Aurelie". Fleur doesn't appreciate it when I make crude jokes about her cousin's name.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 3:09 PM
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I'd be very very very surprised if the USB turntables were as good as the equivalent non-USB turntable that could be had for the same price.

Second hand turntables are even cheaper. I have a basic Technics direct drive deck from the early 80s. Nothing great, but decent enough. I think I paid about the equivalent of $20 for it plus another $60 or so for a better cartridge.

You can't connect a turntable to a line-in, though. You need a phone preamp with RIAA equalisation. Lots of hi-fi amps contain one, so you can take the tape out from your amp into the line-in on your computer. Or you can buy a standalone preamp.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 3:12 PM
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Analia Zizek doesn't appreciate my joke either, presumably because she's heard it too many times.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 3:25 PM
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As the former author of a record singles review column, I can tell you it's not all fun and games: I once invited the readership to consider a passel of split seven inches, and considering this was the mid-'90s the reference was ready to hand. Am also disappointed that nobody has yet invoked the issue of RPM, although it's probably good that people are trying hard enough not to invoke Flexidisks.


Posted by: Heinz Ampules | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 4:31 PM
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noöone is not reemerging soon?
or still


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 4:50 PM
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on first reading, I spent some time trying to figure out how the question in question was "titular". Who has seven-inch breasts?


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 4:51 PM
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on first reading, I spent some time trying to figure out how the question in question was "titular". Who has seven-inch breasts?

That refers to the internippular distance (customarily rendered in units of cockwidths)


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 5:27 PM
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32: what of locked grooves?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 6:17 PM
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w-lfs-n, I guess Joan Jett got there first.


Posted by: Heinz Ampules | Link to this comment | 01-22-08 6:37 PM
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