I left a comment on LGM and all I got was this stupid meme.
..whatever that is.
Ah yes, the Moran Man.
It's a darn shame that the once-proud Moran family got dragged into this. Most of them don't deserve it.
If you were as aware of Internet traditions as you claim to be, you'd know that that's a prairie dog, not a hamster.
They all look like marmots to me.
I believe you have reversed the first and last links in your post, Labs.
I see you are now laughing at cripples, FL. Ogged has taught you well.
5: I believe you have reversed the first and last links in your post, Labs.
As is traditonal, noobsauce. (Actually I assumed he meant to link the LGM thread.)
In addition to knowing all internet traditions, I'm making some of my own. For example, right now I'm wearing a pink bonnet.
I assumed he meant to link the LGM thread
Ah yes, probably.
I'm wearing a pink bonnet
IYKWIM.
8: I'm wearing a pink bonnet *and* a pearl necklace.
I just told my wife that when she hears about this Internet meme 18 months from now, that I was there for the birth. (Memes take surprisingly long to propagate across the entire internet. She just found out about lolcats 6 months ago, for example.)
oops. I did mean to link to LGM with the last one. Fixed.
Memes take surprisingly long to propagate across the entire internet living room
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I've been looking for Shermanesque declarations from Cala, Witt, and Tim. Haven't seen them yet.
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Look, the "new bloggers" aren't going to be shocking surprises or anything; they're going to be either (1) longtime commenters who hang around enough to count as front-pagers anyway, or (2) other bloggers who live with/work with/sleep with/scrounge food and money off of the various Yglesioids. The suspense is an entirely manufactured byproduct of the fact that ogged's replacements weren't announced this time around; we're not going to wake up tomorrow to find dueling posts by Kristol and Cockburn.
I'll play w-lfs-n- it seems to me that the whole thing was a case of bad grammar or poor sentence structure. He wasn't saying "I am aware of all internet traditions," full stop, but rather, "I am aware of all internet traditions... in which placing something in quotes or in a blockquote means that your are quoting that person." He was talking specifically about how d (or is that a penis?) used a blockquote for a "shorter" when blockquotes usually indicate a direct quote.
It's much more entertaining this way, of course.
Stras, must you destroy all our joy?*
* Actually, "wake up tomorrow to find dueling posts by Kristol and Cockburn" is giving me plenty of joy. But what about Hitchens?
There's actually only one new blogger: Bill Clinton.
"Please enjoy your thread with trolls. The traditional and typical of internets glonous history and cultual."
17: Capps gave the game away with his n, n-1 bit. I assume w-lfs-n is devising a suitable punishment, like throwing the sexiest blogger title to some hated rival.
The big reveal will be that only LB makes it off the island, w-lfs-n is the twelfth Cylon, that Labs is the Cigarette Smoking Man, and that Becks is really a werewolf.
If Capps knows, it's because Becks spilled the beans, and if Becks spilled the beans, I'm stripping her of her posting privileges and changing the password on the server.
22 -- That's not how Gen. Sherman explained it.
I just told my wife that when she hears about this Internet meme 18 months from now, that I was there for the birth.
And does she think you're cool now?
17: Look, the "new bloggers" aren't going to be shocking surprises or anything
Jeez, do ya think so stras? We've all been so stupid.
I just told my wife that when she hears about this Internet meme 18 months from now, that I was there for the birth.
Your illegitimate child may be an internet meme, but that won't make your wife any happier when she finds out about it.
18 months from now, that I was there for the birth.
Your illegitimate child may be an internet meme, but that won't make your wife any happier when she finds out about it.
18 months? Some kind of elephant-baby?
Few people have noted that Cockburn is an amusing last name.
They're going to be more & more unable to live up to this buildup. Maybe the first post will be announcing a hiatus....There's a reason Josh Marshall stopped posting "coming soon--huge new developments!" previews.
30 - Amusing until it happens to you.
I was talking about Battlestar Galactica.
I was unable to turn 29 into a cock joke as well. I leave it to the professionals.
we're not going to wake up tomorrow to find dueling posts by Kristol and Cockburn.
No, it will be a man with the given name of "Kristol", who goes by the manly pseudonym of Cockburner.
Kristol Cockburner is the name I use when neither real name nor pseud will do.
. . . laydeez.
27 is curiously vehement
...for a new blogger.
Isn't "Cockburn" pronounced "COH-burn" or something like that?
I thought Bruce Cockburn was "COH burn"; Alex Cockburn was "COCK burn" and Armsmasher was "HOLY SHIT MY COCK IS BURNING"
41: According to wikipedia, Alexander's Cockburn's last name is pronounced "koh-burn".
From a later vanderleun (aka the "I am aware" guy) comment in the linked post:
"That said I cannot see how you can possibly claim that your condensation of neoneocon's post is at all justified. "
There is nothing worse than unjustified condensation.
Unjustified condensation can cause rust.
38: 27 is curiously vehement.
That's because I found 17 curiously* and earnestly condescending.
*not really
stras loves you, JP. He loves you very much. Take out your hurt feelings on Ari.
The new bloggers are writing these comments
46- At least 17 had some sexy time in it.
I curse Ogged and his antecedents and descendents unto the third and the fourth generation too. How cruelly he left us.
48: Yeah, I blogged that, but maybe the real humor is that it's actually an open question. But speaking of Internet traditions, have people seen the Barack Obama facts?
Half Kobe has hurt feelings, I have annoyance and irritation.
48- Compromise? How about refurbishing some current bloggers?
I was reading those Obama facts just fine until "he travels mostly by FORKLIFT" which cracked me up. This is a man about whom Brad Neely will someday do a video.
JP, I'm just not into you. You'll have to move on at some point.
50- Trust me, it's for the best. We're going to be missing blogs on picking out invitations, bands, guests, etc. You of all people, John.
I have annoyance, irritations and internet traditions.
uhhhhhhh
Obama, Barack Obama
He wears a FLAG PIN,
His wife wears big pearls
He's quite the sensation
with all the boys and girls
Travels by FORKLIFT
HUNTS the SHIT out of BEARS
Proud that JESUS was American
And we all knows he cares.
I heard, one time, at a party,
he HELD HIS HAND OVER HIS HEART
while holding a Republican's hand in acid....
58: dammit that might not be that close to fitting to the tune of "Kokomo" but it's just close enough.
He'll save the children, but not the HONKY CHILDREN.
we're not going to wake up tomorrow to find dueling posts by Kristol and Cockburn.
I didn't know how much I wanted this until after you established its impossibility. Shit.
No, better yet: duelling posts by Cockburn and Gary Brecher.
This blog was always already founded by Cockburn.
This blog was always already founded by Cockburnblocks.
Even better yet: duelling posts by Cockburn and Eli Lake.
I misread "posts" in 66 as "poetry", and was profoundly frightened.
Isn't "Cockburn" pronounced "COH-burn" or something like that?
Yes. Like Coburn, a variant spelling of the same surname. I'm surprised nattarGcM ttaM hasn't turned up to insist upon this pronunciation.
Are there no newbloggers? I crave novelty.
69: ugly... muppet! That's it! That's what we've been missing!
UGLY MUPPET ELI LAKE.
It all fits.
I yearn for the newbloggers to rise up and overthrow the old, like the Olympians chaining the Titans.
Just cuz, you know, that'd be all dramatic and shit.
And then for the IOC to ban the Olympians for steroids and replace them with cyborg sprinters!
I made you some new bloggers . . .
but I eated them.
70:
Yes, Mary Catherine, there are new bloggers.
...
No new bloggers! Thank God! they live, and they live forever. A thousand years from now, Mary Catherine, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, they will continue to make glad the heart of the unfoggedariat.
In following a link in one of the comments, I found this evil thing.
I know I'd better ready myself for much, much more but, damnit, I don't want to.
67: I misread "I misread 'posts' in 66 as 'poetry'", as "My robot is coming to kill you all right now" and was profoundly frightened.
Don't talk to me of internet tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.
Wait, has anyone made the obvious cockbloggers joke?
It's pronounced COH-bloggers, you see.
I yearn for the newbloggers to rise up and overthrow the old, like the Olympians chaining the Titans.
... it has already begun.....
80: I misread "My robot is coming to kill you all right now" as "My robot is coming right now" and was profoundly excited.
In following a link in one of the comments, I If I read Apo's blog like a *real* American, I would already have found this evil thing.
45 -- Gen. Sherman did say that, though.
85: If I read Apo's blog like a *real* American, I would already have found this evil thing.
Or the comments to this very blog last night.
Now I'm hurt.
I believe Sir Kraab was crediting you Mr. Stormcrow.
I implore my fellow commenting comrades not to be hurried in welcoming the new bloggers. They must first abide by internet traditions requiring that they live with/work with/sleep with/scrounge food and money off Ben. Patience.
85, 87: Look, like ogged, I have a life. Unlike ogged, I'm only abandoning the odd thread here and there and not forsaking hundreds of loyal and supportive readers who have created a unique and beautiful community asshats who depend on me to make that life worthwhile.
(Also, since it was on Sadly, No! I should have realized it was old-ish news.)
79: the good news is, the Texas GOP has disingenuously claimed they would have stopped it from being sold, had they noticed it.
90: an asshat without an ass is like a countryless ship without a fish-bicycle, Kraab.
88: Crap, now you're going to tell me that Stormcrow is behind SN! and I've insulted him again?
He'll save the children, but not the HONKY CHILDREN.
Cala! I heart you.
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Did anyone hear Fresh Air today with the food allergy segment? Is this the first time that they've kind of had a "news you can use" sort of segment?
I want my jazz musicians I've never heard of, dammit!
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93: No, I took "In following a link in one of the comments" to mean a comment from one Unfogged. Perhaps not, then.
96: Oh, right! Of course that's what I did. Thanks, sam.
the good news is, the Texas GOP has disingenuously claimed they would have stopped it from being sold, had they noticed it.
Riiiiight. Because it's soooo much more offensive than the "Press 1 for English, press 2 for deportation" pins being sold at the same event.
91
79: the good news is, the Texas GOP has disingenuously claimed they would have stopped it from being sold, had they noticed it.
Sure, and it doesn't matter now anyway, because it's too late. The buttons sold out.
95: I want my the estranged children/ex-wives/sixth cousins/ of the long-since dead jazz musicians I've never heard of, dammit!
Now that's the Fresh Air I know and tune out.
100: Kobe, that's a great question.
79 and subsequent: on the bright side, I feel premptively absolved of any shame over the joke I plan to make after election day, the one about how McCain is better off not winning because he wouldn't have been able to raise his right hand to swear the oath of office.
I yearn for the newbloggers to rise up and overthrow the old, like the Olympians chaining the Titans.
And then ages later some careless commenter, digging for treasure among forgotten archives, can awaken the Old Ones from their unquiet sleep. It's like a great circle of ftaagn!
Are you saying today's show didn't end with a movie or TV review that would have been humorous if read in print, but was unbearably awkward and stupid when read aloud? Interesting.
Mark Ames and the Exile crew are finally being chased out of Russia. Golden opportunity to get vicious, embittered blogging talent for cheap!
Estragon. - Allons-nous-en.
Vladimir. - On ne peut pas.
Estragon. - Pourquoi?
Vladimir. - On attend les blogeurs nouveaux.
Estragon. - C'est vrai.
104: I dont noze all intrnet tradishuns. Halp.
105: So that's what happened to Bob....
This piece would have been one of the all-time great Modern Love classics, but they missed out on it. Too busy pursuing these earnest, boring college students.
Will must see people like this all the time.
109: Inturnet tradishuns: let me show you them.
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Lara Logan is perfectly wonderful in every way. It's not that there aren't any good American journalists. It's just that the bad ones are much more famous, more influential and better paid.
Because this is America goddammit. That's the way we do things -- the American way.
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Lara Logan is perfectly wonderful in every way.
Including being SMOKING HOT and having the world's SEXIEST VOICE.
102: I hate to keep underscoring my noobishness (noobosity?), particularly after all the tutoring you've given me, but, huh?
115: I've been commenting here for a couple years now and lurking for longer than that, and I've still no idea what "Kobe" means.
116: Thanks, stras. Solidarity is comforting. (Comity, not so much.)
117 was me. I'm commenting on my new MacBook Air, which has to learn who I am. (And please, because solidarity really is comforting, don't tell Cala and LB that I got rid of my eeeeeeee. My manly hands simply overpowered that tiny keyboard. Which is too bad, because I loved that machine. Anyway, it's Air time now.)
119: Aw. Ari and I can be Air siblings now.
The "kobe" thing comes from this era. It was our own little way of sending a little karma to the rapist one of the NBA's greatest scorers in hopes of a 100-point game.
Lara actually isn't American. She's South African, like Charlize Theron. But I am sure that there are good American journalists.
114: Damn. I'm suddenly in love with the American media. Or at least a small portion of it.
You're a historian, Ari. Read the archives.
The possible accuracy of 114 has reminded me that I watched Metropolitan this week and it was great. And it also contained an actress in a major role who both looked and sounded exactly like Scarlett Johansson. She does not appear to have had a career since then. Came along ten years too early! (and was probably too short or something)
121 brought to you by the "be aware yur internet traditions" campaign.
You're a historian, Ari.
That's why I don't read the archives, eb. I come there to relax not work.
See, I carefully concealed my political message in a smoking hott package. Do I know my Unfoggetariat, or what?
Lara would be wonderful even if she looked like Mickey Kaus, guys.
And by the way, I'm not sure that understanding the archival context for "kobe" will help me fathom 102. I'm just a bit dim, I'm afraid.
128: But not "in every way", as you said.
129: Yes, it is a bit odd that 102 seems to imply that 100 contained a question./
look carefully at the number of your comment to which Sifu was replying, ari
Maybe Jetpack was referring to Terry Gross's penchant for saying annoying things? Who knows; Jetpack contains multitudes.
My manly hands simply overpowered that tiny keyboard.
By day a mild-mannered history professor, by night a Regency rake from a bodice-ripper: Ari led a double life, and nobody suspected a thing.
132: Ah, an internet tradition, you say, and my ignorance thereof. Thanks. Like I said: I'm pretty damn slow.
113 et al: wasn't that interview awesome? This is why it annoys me that everyone acts as if she and, oh, Chris Matthews, or Lou Dobbs, or Nedra Pickler, or Marc Ambinder, or Candy Crowley, or Mark Halperin or anyone on FoxNews, or Jonah Goldberg, are part of one profession called "journalism".
Lara hasn't learned American ways yet. She's like Mary Catherine, baffled by the higher civilization she has stumbled into, struggling desperately decipher its sophisticated rules and standards.
Kobe is overrated. This has now been conclusively established.
Lara would be wonderful even if she looked like Mickey Kaus, guys.
But thank God Mickey Kaus doesn't look like Lara, or he'd have his own talk show on CNN. Hot blonde conservative "contrarian"!
While all you were lazing around with Kobe, I was procuring high-quality cardamom, that I might make my new favorite cake again and again and again.
Did you post the cake recipe somewhere, rfts? Because I love cardamom.
Yes! On AWB's recipe wiki.
http://ybwwwe.pbwiki.com/Cardamom-Cake
Password is "wmybsalb"
Saffron is the miost expensive spice in the world, and can also be used as for dying and poisoning. It's related to the autumn crocus ("aked lady"), which is even more poisonous.
There's nothing hotter than Lara Logan leaning into close to you and saying that if she had to watch american news, she'd blow her brains out.
I have a fair amount of saffron in the house at the moment -- I had some already and got more as a gift -- and should really make an effort to make use of it, since it's lovely. I do not have enough to use it as a poison, however.
I am skeptical of the crunchy cardamom seeds in that recipe--in my experience you don't actually want to eat a big piece of cardamom. I think part of the taste I don't like is from buying the seeds outside their pods & letting them sit in your cabinet for years, but isn't it a pretty harsh flavor even when you're using the pods?
It's not Terry Gross, but the former host of a NPR talk show of ideas is working down the hall from me at a law firm this summer.
It's not a wispy flavor, no, but they have been baked, so it's not quite the same as eating them raw. You can choose how much you want to bash them in the mortar, too, so you could make it more the texture of coarsely ground pepper, rather than of merely cracked pepper. That might even be ideal.
It's probably too expensive for routine poisoning, but might be right for that special person. For routine poisoning and the poisoning of large groups, crocus roots are advised.
"I'm horrified and struggling to come to grips with this. I had no idea that the root of such a lovely garden plant could possibly be poisonous. I plan to devote the rest of my life to crocus awareness."
Dude, Emerson, I have done a silly amount of research on saffron, and never once have I seen a reference to it as poison. Never once. Maybe the ROOT of the crocus of which saffron is the stamen, but that's a different matter entirely.
because he wouldn't have been able to raise his right hand to swear the oath of office
♥
141: Thank you! Maybe this weekend.
At the link:
In high dosage, saffron exhibits toxic qualities. It has even been used as an abortificant in doses of five to ten gramms; such amounts, are, however already severely toxic. Due to its high price and the much smaller amounts used for cooking, accidental saffron poisoning seems to be very rare, though..... Although saffron can sometimes be found wild in Europe (more precisely, escaped from former cultivation), it is not advisable for the botanically unminded to collect "wild saffron": Chances are high that the plant turns out to be the much more common autumn crocus, which is also known as meadow saffron or naked ladies (Colchicum autumnale).
So anyway, now you know, and are known to know, and will have to use some other poison.
At $315 / oz retail, tops, it would cost up to ~$200 to off someone. At that price it would have to be a very special someone, but I can see it being worth it.
oudemia, I just noticed 120. Do you like yours? Did I make a mistake? I'm trying to figure out whether I should embrace my humdrum buyer's remorse or allow the bliss of the Air's lovely design to allay all of my hardheaded concerns.
Although saffron can sometimes be found wild in Europe (more precisely, escaped from former cultivation),
So just call it feral.
What do you expect when Saffron Toxicologists have been routinely hounded out of the business by the goose-stepping hegemony of the Analytic Toxicologists. For instance, the Stanford Encyclopedia of Toxicology, relying on formal credentialism as it does, does not even have an entry for any of the leading Saffronologists.
156: I do like it! Where does your remorse lie? I love its keyboard and negligible weight and outsize trackpad. Design wise I dislike that its very thin edge makes me look like a cutter after all-day use.
This is weak. I WANT THE NEW BLOGGERS.
I am not advertising my services for evil purposes, but I am a descendent of the Father of Chronic Toxicology.
I read that as "Chthonic Toxicology" at first, which sounded so much cooler.
It seems that the clients of a divorce lawyer would often be tempted to use your ancestor's knowledge.
Unfortunately, due to their failure to post and possible failure even to exist, I have put an elaborate curse on all of the newb-loggers and their kin. However, I might be willing to deal.
116 is exactly right. Kobe! Baise-moi.
161:
I dislike:
that its battery can't be removed and so therefore I can't bring a spare with me on a plane.
that it was very expensive, even though research money paid for it (I'm a penny-pinching Jew, it turns out).
that it's keyboard is so BIG (I'm used to my 12" G4).
that I worry that it will break if a strong wind blows just so.
that I'm so fond of it. I'm not very materialistic usually, and don't like when toys capture my fancy.
All of that said, I think it's my favorite toy ever. (Take that, stupid, little-keyboarded Eee.
Also, JRoth, "cockbloggers" is very good.
169: Aha. We switched from the very same computers it seems. Yeah, the big keyboard was hard to get used to but now I love it. I never use my laptop on a plane, so the battery deal doesn't bother me so much, but I am sure that it some point it will. And yes! Fucking pricey, eh? Mine was a gift, but beyond that, I am spendthrift on both sides, so wev. If it's any consolation I have dropped mine several times and it is just fine!
The new bloggers were always already Bob.
If it's any consolation I have dropped mine several times and it is just fine!
That helps. Thanks. And why, pray tell, do you not bring your computer on planes?
173: I do bring it on planes! But somehow can't be chuffed to bust it out mid-flight. I wind up watching Arrested Development episodes on my ipod or something. Oh gosh, Ari -- do you manage to work on airplanes?
170: Woot!
I just couldn't believe that, by the time I thought of it, no one else had.
174: I have two kids, oudemia. Long flights without my family are the only times that I do work. Plus, I'm terrified of flying; writing helps me pass the time.
Ari I answered your upthread question on Standpipe's gently freewheeling public radio talk show, and was just so pleased to be asked.
178: Why oh why must you be so cryptic?
Because I was on my phone and couldn't look up the relevant links.
See, that's what I thought you meant. But Michael confused me. That guy's a total jerk.
If it helps, I'm using a MacBook Air right now. Ain't mine, though.
You should really get one. Have the taxpayers of the State of California foot the bill. They're generous.
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Well, snarkout, no apparent reason to worry about Matt Capps this week - it seems that the Bucs are going for an all-blowout series. Yay!
Tour de France starts in just 3 weeks.
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I am aware of owl internet traditions.
