No fucking way. Color me amazed. Woohoo, indeed.
When I was in Boy Scouts, the preferred method of hazing was making them walk barefoot through cow piles.
In retrospect, it was a crappy thing to do.
In honor of Standpipe's blog, 8 probably should have been:
And congratulations, Standpipe! I always did like you better than ogged.
It's a joke.
Indeed. When does McManus get a turn?
max
['Definitive thigh-slapper.']
Take it easy, pf. I didn't say which one.
12: Post stuff like that on your own blog, noob!
It's a joke as in there's a joke in the post, right? Ha HA! Well played, Bridgeplate, well played.
It's a joke.
Yes, but what kind of joke is it? What makes it funny? Could you explain it to us?
It's a joke.
Pip Bigpart delenda est.
FFS, we already have a n00b hazing tradition. Can't these new bloggers rtfa?
Pwned by SCMT:
No. Fucking. Way.
I predict this thread sets the record for pwns per minute.
I suppose it's also necessary to link to this. Ouch.
Dammit, M/llsy, I've been sitting here wrestling with myself over how long to wait before posting that link. And for some reason, I fight dirty while wrestling with myself, so it hurt.
I'd always wondered about the references to s-pipe's blog. I once googled it thinking I must have missed the discussion of his/her starting one after [it] quit commenting.
Brilliant choice! Whenever I walk by a standpipe on the street, I think of Standpipe.
To balance out Bitch:
I love you all.
Also, SB, you're perfect to keep up the tradition of regularly quitting unfogged.
Standpipe doesn't quit; he evanesces.
pwned by b in 26, but with so many levels of irony even i get all a-whirly
Standpipe doesn't quit; he evanesces.
I hope that sometimes he sublimates.
There are Standpipe post on the blog, if you want some.
I hope that sometimes he sublimates.
That hurts less than when he precipitates!
25 and 29 caused me real, physical pain.
First Stanley, now Standpipe.
I can't wait for Opinionated Standma's debut, and we get posts IN ALL CAPS. Way better than orange.
Incidentally, can anyone estimate the odds of a random cute medical imaging tech in San Francisco being all of:
* straight
* unattached
* willing to date a married man
* willing to date a man who's been in her CT scanner
I've got a back of the envelope figure for the probability and just want to make sure I'm properly calibrated.
I can't wait for Opinionated Standma's debut
Close! The n-2nd new poster is a stand mixer.
42: If your back-of-the-envelope figure is expressed in scientific notation, you might be in the ballpark.
42: Better than for an endoscope tech, I'm guessing.
WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
42: Ham-Love likes girls? And he's married? I need to update my spreadsheet.
Girls and boys. Anything that can't outrun me, basically.
44-46. How many zeros between the decimal place and first significant figure in "dream on"?
And actually, just to make it even more ridiculous, she'd have to be bi, since I'm rarely attracted to straight women.
49: Speaking as a white person, I like this guy.
This post did an excellent job of predicting reaction to itself.
Almost as if it were self-aware.
Would you like to play a game?
I need to update my spreadsheet.
It was the oddest feeling: the thrill of getting access to all the commenters' IP addresses, followed quickly by the realization that I already know who you all are anyway.
the thrill of getting access to all the commenters' IP addresses
You'd think so, but then again ....
55: Not to mention that even if you didn't, who cares?
I am led to believe that there this an opening for a position as a blogger. (tr. Michael Kandel)
Would you like to play a game?
Tic-tac-toe.
Yeah, B, you of all people have no idea why people would want to maintain their pseudonymity.
59: global thermonuclear war
Hey, I was just joshing you guys. Jeez, can't anyone take a joke around here without getting all defensive?
Clearly, "Unfoggedistan" has to be the new name.
Beware, SP, pwning yourself is illegal in 17 states...
60: I meant more that everyone's real identity is boring.
68: I meant more that everyone's real identity is boring.
Oh real nice, bitch. Our real identities are people too!
I'm excited by Stanley and Standpipe.
I would like to note that I am also excited by these choices!
I look forward to the new About entries.
70: Boring people are boring people too!
Excitementist.
73 is right. I refuse to acknowledge as poster anyone without a bio link on the page.
72: I would like to note that I am also excited by these choices!
I am not understanding this "choices".
Apparently, Standpipe Bridgeplate abides.
B's real identity is wholesome, as we know. It's not surprising that Suzy Creamcheese is touchy about "real identities".
I'd *like* to be excited by Stanley and Standpipe.
Kinky, alison. Aren't you married?
INDISCRETION ERROR IN 80 OH NOES
Oh, so it's ok for B and Ham, but not me?!?!?!?!? That doesn't seem fair. *sulk*
Is "Standpipe Bridgeplate abides" a false palindrome? The question is unanswerable. Is "Is 'Standpipe Bridgeplate abides' a false palindrome?" itself a false palindrome? Clearly it is not.
Also: Hi, Standpipe. Hi, Stanley.
Is this the real SB, or a fake SB? How would one tell?
This is a job for an analytic philosopher? If you had only one question, and someone started posting on a blog who used the same name as a former commenter on the blog, and you weren't sure whether the former commenter was real, and also weren't sure that the former possibly unreal commenter was the same (unreal or real) "person" as the new poster...... Oh, fuck it.
55:the thrill of getting access to all the commenters' IP addresses
Uh-oh. Why is SP researching my personal information?
Can't even spell a two-syllable acronym write. CT has me all upset again.
84: I should ask SB whether he was a tree-frog.
Is "dewey-eyed Disney bride" a fake palindrome? Doesn't seem like it, but who am I to question Andrew Bird?
82: It'd be different if you'd said "I'd *like* to be excited by B and Ham."
If you had only one question, and someone started posting on a blog who used the same name as a former commenter on the blog, and you weren't sure whether the former commenter was real, and also weren't sure that the former possibly unreal commenter was the same (unreal or real) "person" as the new poster......
...is actually one of the reasons we're still missing one of our new bloggers.
I BET YOU'RE INTRIGUED NOW, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Actually, I shouldn't have posted that, as it might be considered thunder-stealing from our dear beloved Standpipe, who deserves all of the thunder in the heavens and earth.
Nothing to see here. Carry on.
well shuck my corn, kiss my grits, slap my ass, turn me over and call me Sally. MRGNU Posters!
The ratio of unfogged posters to commenters began as 1, grew to an unknown (by me) minimum, and has begun to collapse back, once again approaching 1. Which, given a sufficient time line, it will.
B's real identity iswholesome boring, as we know.
I call it the Unfogged Symmetry Theorem.
The proportion initially was 1/0, or infinity. No chicken/egg problem here. Blogger first, commenter later.
B struggles so bravely against her wholesomeness. 4H R her.
If you had only one question, and someone started posting on a blog who used the same name as a former commenter on the blog, and you weren't sure whether the former commenter was real, and also weren't sure that the former possibly unreal commenter was the same (unreal or real) "person" as the new poster......
...is actually one of the reasons we're still missing one of our new bloggers.
Oh shit, you didn't ask Giant Mutant Cockroach to be a co-blogger, did you? Because that six-legged bastard is not to be trusted, let me tell you.
Animal husbandry, he observed drily.
I BET YOU'RE INTRIGUED NOW, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Emerson: 'I admit Obama is almost certainly not going to change thw way the country is run, but we have to get rid of the Republicans as the first step to doing anything.'
McManus: 'Emerson, you ignorant slut.'
max
['Intrigued about what?']
We had rabbits. And guide dogs. And a horse. Sadly, we couldn't quite talk our parents into sheep.
I guess McManus was replaced by Emerson's sockpuppet? And they were both asked to become newb loggers?
Or were they always one and the same?!
"We're Cylons, and we have been from the start."
103,104:We're getting this "Never really promised you a pony Shit all over the blogosphere recently.
McManus and I actually agree about a lot. He just rejects my resigned defeatism, and why shouldn't he? But it makes things so easy.
The choice between Hillary and Obama was given to me by the American people, the American media, and the American political process, three entities I'm very dubious about (and the feeling is totally mutual). The choice was an easy one, and why grumble?
America: take it or leave it!
The proportion initially was 1/0, or infinity.
I think Farber was here from the beginning, as Ogged had written him for advice when he was first setting the site up.
Why is there any need to hold elections if the American people are an entity?
In the microsecond before the Big Bang, there was only the originary post. Then there was the first comment, which was sort of originary but not really.
Indeed, many are asking that question, Flippanter.
Don't get your politics shit all over my thread, people.
OK, so far all of the new posters include S-T-A-N in their names. So who does that leave us for the Mystery Third Poster?
Obviously, it may not be all 4 of those letters. It could be only 2... mcmANus. strasmANgelo.
The mind boggles.
someone started posting on a blog who used the same name as a former commenter on the blog, and you weren't sure whether the former commenter was real, and also weren't sure that the former possibly unreal commenter was the same (unreal or real) "person" as the new poster......
I BET YOU'RE INTRIGUED NOW, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Holy shit, it's Al.
Is "Standpipe Bridgeplate abides" a false palindrome?
No, BUT, it's a real anagram.
107. i'm fairly sure that the first posts had no comments.
Further attempts to debunk my theory will be dealt with by introducing you to my "LASER"-equipped sharks.
No matter how many originary commentless posts there were, the ratio was stable at infinity until the first comment appeared. Then the wave function collapsed and sin and finitude came into the world.
Standpipe! Another inspired choice! Ogged really should have left much sooner.
Let me guess, you got Pa/ul Kru/gman, but he's afraid to post as PK, lest we get confused.
is that the real michael? hi michael!
What's the word for the sustaining tension in drama where viewers are continually and ostentatiously denied their greatest desire? That's what's been broken here.
Like we've just seen Wilson's general mouth region or Silly Rabbit ATE the fucking Trix. Unfogged is dead.
I always wanted the rabbit to finally get to eat the goddam Trix, so this argument is unconvincing.
I finally caught that goddam Road Runner, and I roasted him on a spit. Sure was tasty!
Hmm, what should I do tomorrow?
...
The fuck you say?
...
Motherfucker!
...
NO! They don't have another one in props, dumbass.
...
Find yourself a new agent, you're never going to eat lunch in this desert again.
Dear Mr. Coyote,
It has come to my attention that you have an unused stockpile of dynamite and oversized bottlerockets. I represent interested parties who are prepared to offer you a premium to the original purchase price for these items. Pending successful completion of the transaction, the parties I represent are interested in an ongoing commercial relationship with you, in which you would act as an intermediary with the Acme Explosives company, in exchange for generous commissions and reimbursement of your reasonable and customary expenses.
Hey, gang, I've been offline for the last week or so. Did I miss anything?