I like the halo/sun to give it a special Florida touch.
Silly, the shot is taken from underground. It's Jesus dangling from a manhole cover.
There was a NYT piece on Monday discussing the finer legal points of who is "speaking" with such a plate. I'm surprised it didn't mention this one.
It does point out that the whole trend is Florida's fault, though.
This is also strange in that I associate pictures of the dead Christ with Catholicism, rather than with evangelicals. Protestants churches generally have a bare cross with no body, right?
"First license issued should be "'OH 4 SAKE.'"
Genius.
Secret. Strong enough for a man, but made for a Messiah.
"If you're the Savior and you know it clap your hands."
Following on 2, if I lived in Florida I would definitely get the Jesus plate just so I could turn the halo into an orange. Someone will, I'm sure.
Quincy, M.E. was on TV when my mom was the chief ME in Vermont. Her vanity plates read QNCY.
I'd be in favor of the Jesus license plate, but only if they include the caption from this one.
Can I get some license plate love for the Dread One? (Flikr, safe for all but your soul)
max
['What strange aeon is this, anyways?']
10: A bio teacher in my highschool had DNA RNA. And I once saw a VW Rabbit with SKWEWY.
12: Personally, I like this version of that plate much better.
And I can attest to the non-fictional status of the ANUSTART license plate.
I can't get "I don't care if it rains or freezes long as I've got my plastic Jesus up their on the dashboard of my car..." out of my head now.
There. There. Man, blaspheme just a little and the good Lord introduces typos into your comments.
17: How do you know that's not what he is singing?
I suppose you would choose that 2nd license plate to show your support for the death penalty.
If it is, it invites the question "Who are they, and what, precisely, of theirs is Jesus up?"
Cognitive dissonance: Jesus's right to bear arms seems to have been infringed upon.
They're just doing this to make us all feel better about how global warming is going to make Florida disappear any minute now. Sorry about the manatees and all, but hey, at least we'll get rid of the goddamn Jesus license plates.
Shouldn't the manatees be pleased? They never liked the dry parts of Florida to begin with.
I've seen "MI5 WON" on an actual licence plate. On an actual car.
It was kind of disturbing. It made me want to ask "Did they?What did they win?"
(The car was large and black.)
Whenever I see something like this, I revert instantly from DFW-atheist to Stern Midwestern Lutheran and become incredibly offended. Then I have to remind myself that I don't actually believe anymore, it's not my dog in the fight, etc. But it's vulgar! And crass! And self-indulgent! And treats a religion that is supposed to be serious as a car accessory! Have people no shame?
Actually, I used one of my father's favorite lines (taught to me in my Stern Lutheran Upbringing) on a roving Baptist who started asking me if I was sure I was going to heaven. "I don't presume to know the Lord's plan," I said snidely, and passed on. "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelets send my father absolutely round the twist, so I've heard the "How do they think they know what God would do?" talk many times.
26: I got as far as "Wrong Jews", but don't quite get it. "We, the Jews driving the car, didn't personally kill Christ"? Or maybe I'm wrong about the decoding.
30: I guessed it was "they killed the wrong Jews" which really isn't funny.
Maybe it is "Wrong, Jews." Like, you silly Jews, you screwed up again! This time, you killed God!
I took it as a play on orange juice/jews.
The World of Warcraft thread made my head hurt.
"It has nothing to do with abortion! ... We just like life!"
Or maybe they were fans of George Michael and Wham! I know the phrase "Choose Life" always makes me hum a few bars of "Wake me up before you go-go."
16, 17: My car can hold fifty Strother Martin license plates.
28: As an actual practicing Episcopalian my response was along similar lines. I was offended as a Christian.
Maine has a license plate which says, "Vacationland." I've always thought that actual Mainers might find this insulting--especially coming from their own government. They're fairly invested in the idea that their state is more than just a destination for summer people.
28: But it's vulgar! And crass! And self-indulgent!
Welcome to America, Frowner.
Welcome to America the human condition, Frowner.
It isn't like we have some monopoly on this.
CJB's initials make me think of both CB radios and B.J. & the Bear, aptly enough.
Unless I'm ignorant Obama seems to have handled the Chrysler takeover right. The retirement fund is 1/3 owner now.
Is this my opportunity to show I'm better than those stupid fundamentalist rednecks in Florida?
50: Some of those moneychangers are pretty big.
50: You have no idea how heavy that cross was. Plus, of course, the sins of all mankind.
Is this going to be a regular feature on Unfogged? "Better Know a State's Rednecks" or something? Will this offer me another 48 opportunities for self-congratulation, not including the District of Columbia?
47: Yeah, I used to feel smug about the fact that at least being in a minority religion means my family's faith won't go up in town squares alongside Frosty the Snowman, get slapped on license plates and otherwise be made tacky in public.
Then my mom demanded an ice sculpture of Lord Ganesha at my wedding reception.
Which I guess wouldn't have been quite so sacreligious if the wedding planner hadn't suggested combining it with the "ice luge" she wanted me to get, so that liquor would get poured through the back of the god's head and come out from a downward pointed trunk into your glass.
Not to be insensitive (well, maybe a little) but having a cartoon figure in a central place in a religion is pretty darn jolly. And then there are Kali and Durga, wh are more Lovecraftian.
56: Did that happen? Ganesha would have wanted that to happen.
That would have been like 30 goddamn types of awesome.
60 also gets it exactly right.
Now I'm imagining an ice sculpture of Christ where people could fill their glasses from the stigmata. Four stations, shorter lines!
You know what would be awesome with the Jesus plate? These.
My parents' station wagon used to have a little cardboard and foil emblem of the Sacred Heart Auto League displayed on the dash. Shortly after I started driving, the foil peeled away from the backing on all four edges. Shortly after that, the transmission died.
Four stations, shorter lines!
You could get 5 if you include the side piercing and depending on how you arranged the feet.
And obviously the drink of the night would have to be bloody marys.
"But your Jesus plate won't get you into heaven anymore."
For the license plate: FO SHZY
Actually, EAT ME would be appropriate.
My first reaction is less against the message of these plates and more against the awful, terrible design. What an ugly jesus.
57: Don't all Hindu deities have 57: Don't all Hindu deities have cartoon avatars?
63: I find these to be a more patriotic alternative.
God, the first one looks as if belongs on a geocities website. And the slogan makes me think of little children narrating Trainspotting.
Side thought: Why don't they have Indiana - The Dead Tire State plates?
max
['Those are some shitty highways.']
There was a NYT piece on Monday discussing the finer legal points of who is "speaking" with such a plate.
I can't speak to the finer legal points, but I think these plates are speaking for the state. And also for the driver, of course, who presumably seeks to customize and accessorize as an expression of individuality or whatever. But first and foremost for the license-issuing entity, i.e. the state, which must be seen to at least tacitly endorse whatever messages it chooses to print and circulate in an official, state-sanctioned capacity.
I think states should stick to harmless, inoffensive tourist-board-type slogans ("the sunshine state," "the garden state," "land of Lincoln" and etc).
Just think positive:
"Less than a century ago, this prime manatee habitat was the home of an entire moron civilization. Today on Discovery Channel.....
Right thread now! And the manatees are from #24.
This atrocity only lasted for a few years in Kentucky.
"Oklahoma is OK!" strike me as appropriately defensive.
OMG WTF
I'm thinking something more like JHC FML.
(The car was large and black.)
One of Rah's exes drove a huge, black Crown Vic with a vanity plate that read: SUBVERT.
REZ PLZ
Oh, fuck, that is funny.
"You've Got A Friend In Pennsylvania" replaced the Keystone State for a few short years before "Friend" was found to have religious overtones, the Quakers being Pennsylvanian.
Or so my mother told me at the time. Now that I read what I wrote, it seems as though she may have been taking the leafy suburban piss.
83: I was living in PA at the time, and my impression was that the Quaker overtone was on purpose.
Wikipedia:
1984 marked the introduction of a controversial[citation needed] plate, as it used a tourism slogan with implied religious ties to the Society of Friends, more commonly known as the Quakers.
On purpose...but controversial[citation needed]!
My irrational dislike of specialized plates is as follows:
1. Distracting background designs make it harder to distinguish plate letters and numbers, making identification in the case of hit and runs (or escaping robbers, etc.) more difficult.
2. Variation makes it harder to know which state a car is registered in, a significant problem for small children who like to win at spot-the-most-license-plates games.
Also, I'm under the impression that the money collected from extra fees often goes to the "special cause" associated with the plate. I'm not thrilled with having the state collect money for organ donation or environmental preservation, and I'm eight hundred times less thrilled with them collecting money for some of the stuff discussed in this thread.
Then again, laboratories of democracy being what they are, we probably have 52 different policies on this, counting D.C. and P.R. Anyone know?
Also, I am unaccountably tickled at the Quakers being a source of controversy on this matter. It seems so unlikely.
We have these, the surcharge for which goes to salmon habitat restoration. Fine by me.
There are some sad and wacky special plates out there.
Two stemming from 9-11.
Texas: With bonus worst 9-11 graphic evah.
Oklahoma's Global War on Terror.
Alabama "Atomic Nuked Veteran" (really).
It isn't like we have some monopoly on this.
Sometimes it's like you don't even believe in American exceptionalism.
87: Mr. B is irritated by PK's hippie school singing "tis a gift to be simple" on the grounds that it's a public school. Everytime they sing it at an assembly or whatever I have to hiss at him that no one but he considers the Shakers an actual religion anymore.
Has Jesus been working out?
If only his hair were a bit windswept, he would look like Fabio, aka the King of Romance. Jesus loves you, iykwim.
Ontario's license plate slogan is ridiculously vague and banal, and guaranteed not to offend anyone (with the possible exception of B, of course): "Yours to Discover." I mean, c'mon, you could say that about anywhere. Okay, admittedly banality is a good thing when it comes to government-issued sentiments, but there should be something specific about the place, I think. Québec's license plate slogan ("Je me souviens") might sound like a harmless endorsement of the importance of high school history classes, but to some it reads like a highly politicized statement indeed.
Then again, laboratories of democracy being what they are, we probably have 52 different policies on this, counting D.C. and P.R. Anyone know?
Here are the New Mexico plates available. Pretty straightforward, with just a few special causes represented. Most of the special ones are for various types of veterans and public safety workers.
Although:
The Patriot registration plate is available to any motor vehicle owner who is a patriot. No proof of patriotism is required.
93.last is slightly more understandable if you see that NM's Pearl Harbor survivor plate, for example, requires proof that the purchaser was actually on active duty in the US military in the relevant time and place.
94: Yeah, the various veterans ones especially have quite stringent requirements for demonstrating qualification. Many of them are free, though.
Oddly, the decals for the regular veteran plate (which is not free) don't seem to require any proof of qualification beyond whatever is required for the veteran plate in the first place. One of the decals is for Pearl Harbor survivors, too.
Teo, speaking of New Mexico, I'll be in Gallup Saturday morning.
"guaranteed not to offend anyone"
See, that right there *is* what offends me.
You could get 5 if you include the side piercing and depending on how you arranged the feet.
I dithered over how many stations there would be. I ended up counting:
1) one for the left arm
2) one for the right arm
3) one for the legs, crossed and pinned with a single spike through the ankles; (Jesus) saves money.
4) one for the side wound
one for the legs, crossed and pinned with a single spike through the ankles; (Jesus) saves money.
Yeah, I wasn't sure if you were going with one or two stations for the feet.
See, that right there *is* what offends me.
I know it. But you can't have egalitarianism (universal health care, say) without a commitment to mediocrity, B, which commitment requires a levelling off to the lowest, or least offensive, common denominator. Ontario: land of the fair to middling!
100: They probably were using you as a focus group:
"She hates it! SUCCESS!!" [high fives all around]
99: Long enough to hitch a tent trailer (again, for I am Hank Hill) to the back of my Subaru wagon (for I am an out lesbian).
106: Hank Hill is a lesbian? And here I thought it was just that he had a narrow urethra!
Hank Hill contains multitudes, MC. He's also Canadian.
JE: "Oklahoma is OK!" strike me as appropriately defensive.
Then they changed it to Native America, whatever the hell that means. They should gone for the gusto: Injuns is OK.
Heh: New York - We're OK, You SUCK
max
['Maryland Is For Crabs']
The main claim to fame of the standard New Mexico license plate is that it's the only one that says "USA" on it. Or needs to.
He's also Canadian.
He never is! Ari, I had the best doughnut ever last week at a Tim Horton's on the 416: not the "maple-glazed" but the "Canadian maple." Custard-filled, like a Boston creme, but with maple instead of chocolate for the icing. I wanted to send you one, but was afraid it would get squished in the mail.
89: I find it awesome that Alabama recognizes nuked veterans. I find it very weird that their term is "atomic nuked veteran."
Also, shouldn't Oklahoma have a plate for the local war on terror, with a different building growing out of the eagle's head?
one for the legs, crossed and pinned with a single spike through the ankles
I have a vague sense that it's a point of contention between two groups whether it was a single nail or one for each foot, but I can't recall any details. But I think depictions vary in different churches or maybe in different ages or something.
112.1: Seriously though. I think I'd pay about $500 above resale for a car that came with "Atomic Nuked Veteran" plates.
but was afraid it would get squished in the mail
For future reference: I'm not opposed to squished doughnuts.
I don't care if it rains or freezes,
'Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the license plate of my car...
I find it very weird that their term is "atomic nuked veteran."
This is to distinguish them from veterans that got put in the microwave.
My grandfather observed nuclear tests in the 50s as an Army officer. He'd qualify for the plate, I guess. Except that he died in the 80s. Of bone cancer.
VA has a plate that says "Children First" along the bottom. I saw one the other day that had "EAT THE" as the vanity text. Very nice.
101: Crown of thorns? Don't the head cuts count as wounds of Christ?
Specialized license plates are a mess. I once represented a lady whose license plate was
"pinkpsy" in DMV proceedings to revoke the plate.
They were not convinced that she was a fan of pink pansies.
Every time I see her, she tries to convince me to advertise as the pink psy lawyer.
NPR reported recently on the Colorado DMV's rejection of a tofu-lover's plate because it read ILVTOFU.
101: Crown of thorns? Don't the head cuts count as wounds of Christ?
Quite an image -- Campari* pouring out from holes all around his head. Eww. I'd give Madalyn Murray O'Hair a run for her money and even I find that sacreligious.
*Or other red beverage.
In Virginia, the DMV system was really bad. There wasnt any good system for automatically eliminating problem phrases.
So if you came up with something original, you could get away with it until someone complained.
I am amazed at how many people are 2hot4 me.
124: How many variations of "2HOT4WIL" can there be out there?
We're dangerously close to Jesus cake, raptors and "Our God is an Awesome God". As an alternative, stroll through the comments from about 45 to 100 here, making sure to click on all of the links, particularly the one in 88.
125:
If you subscribed to Sir Kraab's twitter, you would know.
113: I think there were only three nails, although I admit I can cite no source for this more authoritative than Harry Dresden novels.
Sadly, I do have a twitter feed, but it's for work (truly). Except for this one, which makes my day every day.
128. I believe 3 nails (where nails were used) was SOP. Legs were often broken so that the guy would die quicker (heart failure induced by weight on arms). However there is evidence that when they were dealing with multiple victims, the squaddies in charge of the executions used to invent amusing variations on the theme for their own entertainment.
Romanes eunt domus!
Has anyone read Christopher Walken's twitter? Funny.
131: Is it actually his, or a joke, like his presidential campaign? I find Walken so confusing. Stuff around him is funny, but never the guy himself. It's like his Batman Returns character took over.
132:
I don't know. I read it once and it was very funny.
104: In all seriousness, I sort of figured this out, and realized that my impatience with that commitment to the importance of the average was pretty clear evidence that despite my Leftist Socialism (tm), I don't actually hate America. Born and bred in the briar patch.
It was an interesting challenge while teaching: how to encourage students who really were extremely comfortable being "good enough" to push themselves. OTOH, probably students who are comfortable with good enough are a lot less likely to become neurotic striving assholes than the children of the aspirational American umc.
Did you all read Obama's 100 days twitter in Slate yesterday?
Virginia seems to have the same Fight Terrorism plate as Texas. It is fairly popular in unreal VA. In general, VA has a shitload of special plates.
136: I later found that Missouri did as well. Searching on "fight terrorism" license plate, it looks like just those three. I suspect some group was peddling the design to state legislatures and those three bit.
50, 52: George MacDonald Fraser (of the Flashman books) had some remark about how he, unlike most people, had actually seen the sort of thugs who are employed by moneychangers in the middle east; and if Jesus had turned them out of the Temple without getting stamped flat, He must have been built like the Western Wall of a brick shithouse.
It turns out that we have a "Support Our Troops" plate, which was news to me because I have never ever seen one.
58: No, I'm not a fan of ice sculptures generally, and since I was marrying outside the faith I felt self-conscious about having it look silly to my spouse's side. One of the groomsmen who heard about this plans to use the idea when he goes into Republican politics, though.
72: The Ramayana and Mahabharat often are done as comic books to make the stories easy for kids to understand, but a cutesy presentation of the gods is kind of unusual. Indian Hindus are mostly conscious about the fearful and destructive aspects of the supernatural, but I can see why converts might want to make the gods look less scary for their kids.
It turns out that we have a "Support Our Troops" plate, which was news to me because I have never ever seen one.
In looking at NC's as a result of this thread I was surprised to learn two things:
1) we have a bunch of special plates for NASCAR drivers, which I imagine would be like a "kick me" sign only for traffic cops and
2) there is a special NC plate honoring the University of South Carolina.
138: Sounds like something the author of Flashman would say.
142: Though it would be remiss of me not to point out that Our Savior did, according to John, have a whip of cords, so it's not like He went all empty-handed-Steven-Seagal-back-when-he-wasn't-so-fat on a cavalcade of ninjas.
143: Probably all of the thugs ran at him at the same time, and Jesus was able to rise up so that they all ran into each other and got knocked out.
145: "You tell me, Chief. You had a pretty good view from behind your desk. Now go and sin no more."
I have on my phone a charming little ditty called "connecticut's for fucking" -- but what is the original phrase in the state's slogan?
150: Your dad is an awesome dad, Jesus.
Arkansas - Banjos and Squealin'
Delaware, Inc.
Wisconsin - Cheese and Packers
Texas - Insanely Independent
Alabama - Jesus is Pissed!
max
['Yes, I know it's eat cheese or die.']
Regarding Texas license plates (July 27, 1989):
Last week, the commission announced that the state license plate with no-nonsense navy blue letters on a white background would be replaced by one with a baby blue background, an image of the Texas flag and the motto ''The Friendship State.''
. . . .
In two days, the commission received more than 800 calls. All callers opposed the new plates. Most of them said the slogan and the color were an insult to the state's macho image.
. . . .
Suggestions are pouring in at newspaper offices around Texas. The most popular seems to be ''The Lone Star State,'' followed by ''Don't Mess With Texas,'' which has long been the slogan for the highway clean-up campaign.
Others include: ''God Votes Here,'' ''Shoot Friendly,'' and ''Don't Mess With Texas - Or Its License Plates.''
153
In two days, the commission received more than 800 calls. All callers opposed the new plates.
connecticut's for fucking
Jeez, the nickname last I looked was The Constitution State (judges will also accept The Nutmeg State).
I'm guessing that it is a riff on the Virginia is for Lovers tourism slogan.
Suggestions are pouring in at newspaper offices around Texas. The most popular seems to be ''The Lone Star State,'' followed by ''Don't Mess With Texas,'' which has long been the slogan for the highway clean-up campaign.
Better than "Don't Trash the 'Nati".
MM: Others include: ''God Votes Here,'' ''Shoot Friendly,'' and ''Don't Mess With Texas - Or Its License Plates.''
I actually like Shoot Friendly; it's suitably insane. Truth in advertising. Also, ever since the Mad Mothers got on it about the drunk driving, the state quit using Drive Friendly and then normal driving promptly went to hell. The drunks, notably, continued to drive, except worse.
max
['Texas - Crazy As Hell']
Also, ever since the Mad Mothers got on it about the drunk driving, the state quit using Drive Friendly
Is there really a connection between the two? Did MADD claim that "Friendly" is a euphemism for drunk or something?
Mothers Against Defective Diction claimed "Friendly" wasn't an adverb, and it should either be changed to "Drive Friendlily" or be abolished.
connecticut's for fucking
The special-issue Lieberman plate has a picture of Joe in the middle, with the slogan "Connecticut is for Fuckers".
Wait, Connecticut is for fucking!? I've been doing it in the wrong state all these years!?
162: Well, if you call what you've been doing fucking.
163: That's what your mom called it, but we all know her standards are low.
DEL TOID
would be good but I don't think it fits.
164: Daaaaayyyummmm. Well played, sir. I never would have pegged you as a talented dozens player.
166
I never would have pegged you
I'm sure he's very disappointed.
159: Is there really a connection between the two? Did MADD claim that "Friendly" is a euphemism for drunk or something?
Drive Friendly was the slogan for the TXDoT program. They dumped that in favor of going after the drunks. Now you can't have a fucking beer in the car; not that I care, I just want to be able to do that. Fucking Republicans.
max
['So I joined Drunks Against Madd Mothers.']
The Wobegon Sarin Terrorists got their start in MADD.
