Re: I feel stupid and contagious. Entertain me.

1

Did anyone expect him to do otherwise?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:31 AM
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This is a neat store as is the well-known but less physical this.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:33 AM
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Wait, what? It's the populations in the suburbs that need to be reeducatedmoved into the cities.

Honestly, Heebie, it's like you're not even paying attention.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:33 AM
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1: Indeed, commenters on this very blog sold bumper stickers proposing we "get disappointed by someone new who will keep unsustainable populations in our cities."


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:35 AM
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To the OP, it's been so long that I've been a consumer that I can't even think of a likely candidate.

Although a gift card to the iPhone App Store, with a link to a couple good app review sites, would be pretty good. I suspect there are a lot of people out there who are overwhelmed by the selection and aren't willing to take the time/spend the money to really explore.

But that's less fun than your conception of it.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:35 AM
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Wait, how long has it been since your last purchase, you spoony architect?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:36 AM
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5: Perhaps a gift card to a nice walk-in medical clinic somewhere?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:36 AM
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Seriously, heebie. American Science and Surplus.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:38 AM
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It has science and surplus!!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:39 AM
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I was admiring both links in 2. Well done, young neb.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:39 AM
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6: I bought a pair of blue jeans in early November. I've worn them practically every day since. I also bought the Dylan "Must Be Santa" video because it makes me so happy.

Other than that, basically nothing but groceries, alcohol, and my new work computer since, I dunno, May?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:43 AM
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If you lessened your alcohol dependency you might have more disposable income for clothes, you know.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:44 AM
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You're not buying any Christmas presents?


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:45 AM
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7: Actually, the other day my heart kept fluttering uncomfortably in a way that I don't think it had ever done before. As it happened, I did some bike errands in the middle of the day, but that seemed to be unrelated (flutters occurred before and long after, but neither during nor immediately after).

Anyway, if it happens again after January 1, I can go to my doctor to ask about it.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:46 AM
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Did it occur to you that JRoth might not want you to mention his alcohol dependency? Huh?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:46 AM
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12: I'd rather be drunk than dressed.

13: None yet! Actually, I have long-ago purchased things for my dad and sister/s-i-l. I did, in fact, buy an early present for AB from a potter friend. AB got Iris something, and is making her something else, so I don't think I'll be buying her anything. Kai doesn't need stuff from me yet.

Actually, tho, I just realized: we went to Ikea a couple weeks ago, which was consumer-riffic. Desk chair for Iris, a punch bowl, a few other things. Candles and cookies.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:51 AM
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12: Actually, I've been able to start buying slightly better bourbon lately, which is nice. But it turns out that I find Bulleit a bit sweet (I must have known this before).


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:53 AM
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Hey, someone recommend me an interesting sweet liqueur? Buck has a very sweet tooth in terms of drinking -- he'll spend the evening sipping an Amaretto and milk, or a little glass of Canton ginger liqueur, also very sweet. Anyone know of anything they love along those lines that I haven't heard of?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:05 AM
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http://hotglasscolor.com/
or
http://www.collectiblecameras.com/

though they have no soviet cameras; a zorki copy of a leica 2 is easy to find esewhere, or a lubitel copy of a rolleiflex.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:07 AM
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http://www.boneroom.com/ (work safe; actual bones)
http://www.customcreaturetaxidermy.com/


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:10 AM
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Elderflower liqueur?

A.
B.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:12 AM
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The second link in 20 is really something.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:12 AM
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18: St. Germain elderflower liqueur is pretty nice.

You could try this out.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:13 AM
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a zorki copy of a leica 2 is easy to find esewhere, or a lubitel copy of a rolleiflex.

This is totally made-up.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:13 AM
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Becherovka is what Jagermeister is a cheap copy of-- syrupy, herbal. Becher's Liqueur in the US, there used to be an Illinois importer. Grand's in Astoria used to sell it.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:15 AM
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||

Nothing makes me angrier than when students mysteriously drop parts of an equation that they find confusing. Like:

ln x(x-8) = 2
x(x-8) = 2

"I just thought the problem would be easier that way! Is it wrong?" It's just so bullshitting your way through.

|>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:16 AM
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The fruit liqueurs that distillers of eaux de vie make are probably good. Clear Creek, Etter, etc.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:17 AM
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The problem would be way easier that way.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:17 AM
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Well, actually, not really.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:18 AM
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The actual problem was log base 3, not ln, so it's actually much easier with the log there. It factors nicely, etc. I just switched it up here to clean up the notation.

This particular part of the test is making me completely irate.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:19 AM
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While the troglodytes who ran Lubitel dropped relevant parts of the equation, Zorkis are great cameras, 10% or less the price of Leicas. Old Kodak rangefinders are pretty interesting-- the Signet has a fantastic lens, amazingly durable shutter, and is beautifully designed.

Soviet surveying equipment is also pretty well-made, as well as Kazakh archery supplies.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:24 AM
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Kazakh archery supplies.

Solves my shopping problems.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:27 AM
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OT bleg: Are Mexican empanadas usually large? Like, as big as a folded tortilla?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:29 AM
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||

Or like, the instructions are "simplify completely".

log_5 (2) - log_5 (10) =
2 - 10 = - 8

Are you fucking kidding me? Do you really think I'm asking you to subtract 10 from 2?

I wish I made the problem worth more points, so that I could deduct more points.

|>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:33 AM
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Maybe you can put a barfing-face sticker next to it.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:50 AM
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34: I always get crossed up with logs -- I have to rewrite as exponents to make sure I've got everything straight. What's the right answer?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:50 AM
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lognx - logny = logn(x/y).


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:53 AM
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So the answer to the problem is -1.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:54 AM
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17: I don't care for Bulleit either. At the same price-point, I'd recommend Buffalo Trace or Elijah Craig 12-year.

18: I got some Chai liqueur for xmas last year, that was quite tasty, though my wife drank most of it out from under me.


Posted by: Jimmy Pongo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:54 AM
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I also have a mild disability with regard to comma placement, but you can't buy that in any store.


Posted by: Jimmy Pongo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:56 AM
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37: Thanks, it was driving me nuts. All those rules make perfect sense to me when I'm looking at them as exponents, but rewriting as logs makes my IQ drop seventy points for some reason.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 11:00 AM
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39.1: Thanks; I think I got a bottle of Buffalo Trace once and liked it, but I know I've never tried the 12 year Craig.

Truth be told, I got the Bulleit 'cos it was on sale, but if I'd recalled its sweetness, I wouldn't have.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 11:15 AM
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You know you want it.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 11:25 AM
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OT bleg: Are Mexican empanadas usually large? Like, as big as a folded tortilla?

Not in my limited experience. Hand pie size.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 11:28 AM
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Oh, the irony, the irony, it's killing me. On Facebook, someone I vaguely knew in high school posted a link of that video from the campaign where Obama said he visited 57 states (so, not exactly new news, and certainly something that's been gone over before), with a long ass rant about how we elected this dumbass - "We all have a good enough education...America is sickening...How the hell could you let someone run your country that doesnt even have enough knowledge of the country..."

Indeed, how could we? (There, heebie, something else to rag on Obama for!)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 11:44 AM
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At this point, I'd hate to be one of Heebie's students. I'm certain I'd make every mistake she complains about.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 11:59 AM
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Not if heebie'd been teaching you all semester. Duh.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:07 PM
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46: You really wouldn't. We go over this stuff, question and answer, chorus-style, all the goddamn time. "What's the inverse of e^x?" They all chorus "ln x!" What's the first question on the 3rd exam? They all chorus "What's the inverse of e^x!" How many of them are able to answer it on the test?

...crickets.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:08 PM
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Also, it's the lunacy of the simplification that kills me. Not knowing the answer is one thing. But crossing off the hard parts just makes me cross.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:09 PM
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I need a new winter hat, and probably a new scarf, too. (The hat, beloved Icelandic hat, was lost at a party last weekend. The scarf, beloved Fibonacci-patterned scarf (made by a former commenter here!), has gotten all twisty and stretched out after three years of use.

These seem like the sort of things someone who knits would make for me if I paid them. I like having winter accessories no one else has.

So I look on Etsy, and damn, that shit has gotten expensive. I know a nice woolen hat does not come cheap, but seriously.

Does anyone here make or know someone who makes interesting wooly things? I will pay with money and/or barter. (Icelandic hat was present from boyfriend, scarf was paid for with bourbon pecan pralines and two pints of beer.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:20 PM
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My friend sent me a pair of black wool gloves she had knit herself! Out of the blue! I was chuffed.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:22 PM
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I'm a rotten knitter, but a fine crocheter. If you find a crocheted pattern you like, I'll do you a hat for some baked goods of your choosing.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:23 PM
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Note to 50.last: I am not suggesting I will pay for another hat with sexual intercourse. Being a whore for hats is not something one wants a reputation for.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:24 PM
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(This is not a terribly generous offer -- a hat and scarf, crocheted, wouldn't take more than a couple of hours of crocheting time.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:24 PM
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If I buy her the yarn, will she make me one too?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:26 PM
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That would make this into a really wonderful thread, if it became a gift-bartering thread.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:27 PM
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52: Yay! I do prefer close-fitting hats that cover the ears. Beyond that, I don't know much about hats. I will do some research. Do you like fancy cookies? I could do my dark chocolate shortbreads with cacao nibs and fleur de sel, stuffed with mascarpone cream... Or punitions with raspberry filling? Or both? It's a hat; I'm willing to do some serious baking.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:27 PM
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50.last: I know more knitters than you can shake a stick at. I'm happy to act as middleman (taking my cut, of course).


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:32 PM
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I could do my dark chocolate shortbreads with cacao nibs and fleur de sel, stuffed with mascarpone cream.

I wouldn't mind a reputation as a whore for cookies.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:32 PM
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I knit SO SLOWLY. It's very sad.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:33 PM
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Maybe something like this, but in a darker gray? Or this, though I can't tell if it would look stupid on me.

If it helps, I'm getting a new wool coat in the mail soon that has a large white-and-black herringbone pattern.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:34 PM
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Maybe something like this, but in a darker gray? Or this, though I can't tell if it would look stupid on me.

I have some doubts that either of those will cover your ears completely.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:35 PM
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A few stitches longer would do, right? It looks a bit pulled up on her head, to show her cute neck. I like a hat that can be retracted a little bit without looking stupid in case I need to show my cute neck.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:38 PM
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Well-placed stitches remind me of creepy wedding nights.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:41 PM
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60: Indeed. I spent a goddamn year in Samoa knitting myself an Irish fishermans sweater, and ended up with something gorgeous, but sized for a college football player. Screwing up something that takes a couple of weeks is one thing, but a year is quite another.

61, 63: So, basically we're talking something like a brimless watchcap, in a varigated dark grey? I'll look around for patterns. I need to go buy wool anyway, because the afghan we've had draped over the back of the couch since Newt was a baby is looking ragged, and I'm planning to do a new one.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:44 PM
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65.2: Yes, sounds perfect! Email me and let me know what your crocheting/availability schedule is so I can make sure to have some cookies ready. Although -- would you prefer a pie? Or red velvet cake?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:48 PM
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Buffalo Trace is good; I like Dickel (Tennessee whisky, not bourbon) a lot, too. JRoth, I recommend you trendhop early and check out some rye; cheap rye (Old Overholt and the cheaper Rittenhouses; the unusual Pikesville* if you can get it in Pbgh) is better than cheap bourbon. Overholt may be the best liquor bargain on the market.

* Which you might not like; it's less spicy and more floral than other kinds of rye due to the grain it's made with.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:52 PM
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It's far too late to be early on the rye trend.

If you go for Rittenhouse at least spring for the bonded, which should be under $20.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:57 PM
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If you want to spend a lot per ml this is delicious.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:58 PM
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I have bad luck with beef shanks. I am never able to achieve tenderness.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 12:59 PM
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If this does become the barter thread, let me casually mention that I have boatloads of fruit in jars.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:00 PM
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71: But what do you want?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:01 PM
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I want it all.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:05 PM
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But I would accept Marion Cotillard.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:06 PM
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||

Laredo could soon be largest US city without a single bookstore

(I am now worried, given my last pwnage, that somebody has already posted this story on unfogged, and I missed it)

|>


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:08 PM
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But I would accept Marion Cotillard.

She certainly is cute as a button.

I am afraid that it's a buyer's market for tasty homemade treats, around here!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:09 PM
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68 - JRoth is in Pittsburgh. While you California sophisticates have abandoned Amer Picon for Torani Amer and existentialism, we honest folk in the Midwest have only recently discovered fire.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:09 PM
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OK, but if I gave AWB a hat and she just happened to sleep with me - you know, out of appreciation, or just because we were in a car that broke down in a winter storm and we needed to, for the warmth or whatever - that wouldn't be hat-whoring, now, would it?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:10 PM
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57: How do you stuff shortbread? Or do you just mean oreo-style?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:11 PM
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64: ?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:11 PM
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Treat talk reminds me that I have some tasty spiced nut photos to upload. Dirty!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:11 PM
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She certainly is cute as a button.

Her picture on Wikipedia makes her look like she has Spock ears.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:12 PM
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If you give AWB a hat, and that creates a mana imbalance that she can only set right by sleeping with you, but it isn't technically an exchange, is that hat-whoring?

I am afraid that it's a buyer's market for tasty homemade treats, around here!

But you probably aren't in the market for fruits in jars. The only other things I can offer are fresh bay leaves and mix cds.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:13 PM
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But you probably aren't in the market for fruits in jars.

Not only that, any tasty homemade treats I could offer for something else would have to compete with yours and AWB's.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:14 PM
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I've been meaning to get rye, but it's been unclear to me whether cheap rye is worthwhile, and I really haven't been in a position to drop $20 on a speculative liquor purchase.

But I will go for the Old Overholt. Did you know that it originated in SWPA in the family of Henry Clay Frick? Complete with Whiskey Rebellion history.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:15 PM
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fresh bay leaves

Ooh! Could I interest you in some very nice computer renderings of somebody else's house?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:16 PM
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Somehow I think that caramels would make it through the post in better shape than, say, a quince tart.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:16 PM
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Ain't too proud to whore.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:17 PM
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Old Overholt is extremely serviceable. We fondly call it "Old Overcoat." I sure do look forward to the return of Manhattans to my life.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:17 PM
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78: Well, then I'd be a whore for warmth.

79: Oreo-style.

While I am mostly open to generosity from friends, I do sort of have a phobia about accepting gifts or favors from people I am sleeping with, lest they get the idea that I am sleeping with them for any reason at all other than my own enjoyment of doing so. Is there a category in the DSM IV for "irrational fear of people thinking you're a whore"?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:17 PM
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Somehow I think that caramels would make it through the post in better shape than, say, a quince tart.

You may have a point there.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:18 PM
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JRoth: Cheap rye rundown.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:18 PM
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Well, then I'd be a whore for warmth. Oreo-style.

That would probably be most effective, yes.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:21 PM
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90: Assuming I actually come through with the hat and scarf, I promise not to have sex with you. So no worries.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:24 PM
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85: I bought a bottle of that Jim Beam-produced (ri1)* recently and have found it a little less overwhelmingly different from bourbon than I had been led to expect, but it's not at all bad.

* Jesus label-designing Christ.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:26 PM
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If you give AWB a hat, and that creates a mana imbalance that she can only set right by sleeping with you, but it isn't technically an exchange, is that hat-whoring?

Utu probably qualifies, but I'm not sure. It must have come up in the 1860s.


Posted by: Keir | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:41 PM
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Is there a category in the DSM IV for "irrational fear of people thinking you're a whore"

No, but I think Shakespeare said something about it.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:55 PM
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92: Looks like Wild Turkey it is. I was actually eyeing that not 5 days ago.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:58 PM
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97: God, I hate it when people quote that. A woman can't be emphatically clear about anything without someone suggesting she *actually* means the opposite. Sorry, pet peeve.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 1:58 PM
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I have too much membrillo. Good flavor, but because I was tipsy when smoothing it out to dry, it's the ugliest, bumpiest membrillo I've ever seen. I was planning on giving it to a few people for Christmas (along with Manchego), but now I'm not so sure.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 2:04 PM
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Old Overholt is fantastic -- I've switched pretty much completely from bourbon to rye, except in bars where you can only get bourbon. The bonded Rittenhouse is also very good.

The Jim Beam rye is actually not bad, but it's usually only a dollar or so cheaper than Overholt and not more likely to be available, so.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 2:07 PM
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Hey, someone recommend me an interesting sweet liqueur?

Ever try Amarula?

It's made from the same variety of fruit that elephants like to get drunk on (they'll eat the half-spoiled, partially fermented fallen fruit by the kilo in order to catch a buzz).


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 2:09 PM
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90: Connecting this with the previous thread -- maybe winning the lottery would solve AWB's problem.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 2:18 PM
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I was on the scotch trend early enough to drink Lagavulin when it was only $30 a bottle, and onto bourbon when Knob Creak was just at $20. Old Overholt is better than alright, but I'd stick with Bulleit if I had a bottle (the wife cheaped out at the liquor store this week).
Anyway, this is a quite nice brandy for a non-retarded dollar amount (although too rich for me these days), if and when American brandy becomes the trend.

LB, they also have a number of fruit brandies that might fit Buck's bill.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 2:24 PM
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I think I'm going to try to find that elderflower stuff foxtail linked to.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 2:35 PM
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I love elderflower in pretty much all its manifestations. It is a lovely flavor.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 2:47 PM
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Now I'm just trying to figure out where a really encyclopedic liquor store is. My local liquor store is (oddly, given the neighborhood) spectacular for wine, but much less so for liquor; I'm going to have to scout around downtown. Any NYers with an idea?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 2:52 PM
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Now I'm just trying to figure out where a really encyclopedic liquor store is.

Colorado.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:05 PM
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LB, they also have a number of fruit brandies that might fit Buck's bill.

Abort abort! Not if he likes sweet things. Fruit liqueur ≠ fruit brandy.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:11 PM
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Though they also have fruit liqueurs.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:14 PM
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Yep, that much I know.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:15 PM
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107: The people at 67 Wine & Spirits, on Columbus at three guesses, have always been very generous with their time and advice to non-oenophiles who need to bring wine to parties.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:18 PM
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Astor Wines and Spirits it is, unless some NYer steers me different.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:18 PM
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112: Should have said "wine and/or liquor": specifically, I was thinking of the fellow who introduced me to Germain-Robin brandies, which have been pretty well-received several times.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:20 PM
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Huh. I'll give them a try.

(Have I mentioned how much I dislike Christmas shopping? Schlepping all over the dadblasted city carrying heavy stuff, and I'm never organized enough to do it all online ahead of time.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:24 PM
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115: Donations to Heifer International are never the wrong style or color. Bonus: "Merry Christmas, [incredibly racist uncle]! I know how much you care about poor farmers in [country full of people who aren't white]."


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:46 PM
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Merry Christmas, [incredibly racist uncle]!

I'm so glad I don't have your* relatives.

* Not just you, Flip; seems like 2/3 of the commentariat has this problem


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:48 PM
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My mother has explained to me in the past that donations to charity are (IHerO) malicious and insulting as presents. I still don't know what I'm getting her.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:50 PM
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No, no, Flip. I must recommend Reisetbauer eaux de vie!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:57 PM
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Urgent help needed: I need to buy a "secret santa" Christmas gift for a new co-worker whom I barely know. No real idea about likes, tastes, etc. Late 20s woman lawyer. $35 maximum for the gift. The exchange is tomorrow. There is a totally comprehensive high-end shopping mall within easy walking distance, so it doesn't have to be something that's readily available everywhere, but things that are only available via the internet are not.

I don't want to just buy a $35 gift certificate that can be used in any store in the mall. Am thinking about a bottle of wine but I'm not even totally sure that she drinks. What say you all?


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:58 PM
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117: Not close to that side of the family these days, but I expect most or many people have a relative or two who regularly oversteps the bounds of "he's from a different generation...."

118: My mother has explained to me in the past that donations to charity are (IHerO) malicious and insulting as presents.

[Sniff. Look away. Look back, eyes full of tears.] "That's all right. I guess I... [voice cracks] I just thought that you loved Jesus. And the less fortunate."


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:59 PM
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I was going to say bottle of wine even before I got to the end of your comment. Doesn't matter if she likes it; "Here's a free re-gift!"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 3:59 PM
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113: LB, probably Astor but you can also check Crush.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:04 PM
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120: Can hardly go wrong with fancy chocolates or candy (even if she's allergic, she can regift, qua 122). But I don't do this much.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:04 PM
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120: Fancy bath things are also nice. Is there a Molton Brown or equiv in your mall?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:05 PM
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"That's all right. I guess I... [voice cracks] I just thought that you loved Jesus. And the less fortunate."

Mom has strong feelings about Jesus. She's opposed. In theory she's in favor of the less fortunate, but I'm not getting into any out-guilting battles here: I am outgunned in every possible way. I'd be lucky to make it out of a conversation like that with a bare remnant of a functioning psyche.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:06 PM
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Fuck I hate forced gift-giving.

Some stylized wall calendar? I've seen some nice moon-themed ones that should could put in her office.

Picture frames are useful.

I've wanted a waffle iron with a cute pattern (too late now, I bought a boring waffle iron).

Gift certificate to a restaurant? But perhaps $35 isn't a fancy lunch in your circles.

Someone once gave me a fancy-dancy coffee table book of the Salton Sea, but I don't care about the Salton Sea (or water projects south of the Tehachapis), so I don't recommend that.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:08 PM
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I feel like bath things are a little m/f weird in a work setting, though there is a fancy bath supply store. I like the chocolates idea.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:08 PM
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128: Well, chocolates are always nice, but I mean, I wasn't suggesting you buy her massage oils! More like fancy hand soaps! Now I am cracking up imagining buying various cow-orkers massage oils.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:10 PM
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My mother has explained to me in the past that donations to charity are (IHerO) malicious and insulting as presents.

Hear hear.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:11 PM
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I would think a couple good books she hadn't read would be a good present, but it is hard to guess at what she's read.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:11 PM
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By the way, the last time I did this kind of gift exchange (different law firm, near the same mall), in a group of 15 coworkers every single person bought every single other person a $30 mall gift certificate. It was like a cross between some Tyler Cowen thought experiment and an episode of The Office.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:11 PM
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How new a lawyer is she? Silver business card case? I think they're about $25 for the low end.

What kind of law? Is she in and out of federal buildings all day long and would benefit from a fancy leather ID case?


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:12 PM
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But I was so pleased when someone gave to Heifer International in my name. That was awesome. I didn't feel insulted at all.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:12 PM
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If you knew her better I would suggest tickets to a concert or other event, but since you don't know her taste, it's hard. I suppose fancy lawyers don't go concerts that cost $17.50 a ticket, in any event.

A plant of some kind? I love getting them, even though I am not a gardener and despite the best of intentions can rarely get them to survive. And that's not overly personal.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:14 PM
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I was just thinking of a plant. Or a pretty pot for plants.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:15 PM
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Was that the story you told about telling your sister someone had given you a llama and her asking whether it was a pretty llama? I loved that story -- the total acceptance that now you were going to own a llama, and the important bit was whether you'd gotten a good one.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:15 PM
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Seriously, wine or liquor is the best, unless you think non-drinking to the point of being offended is a real possibility. Then, I'd agree on the nice soap front -- if you look for something with vaguely Edwardian packaging, it will both probably be nice, and won't seem overly intimate. Then chocolate, and everything else requires knowing something about her tastes, so don't do it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:17 PM
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I consider charitable donations as presents less of an insult and more of a great big cop out. If you want to give money to a charitable organization, by all means give them every last bit of money you want to give them. It is a nice gift from you to the organization! It is not actually a gift to a third party though. The exception, I suppose, is when the third party actively wants to give to that organization and has maxed out their ability to do so. Otherwise it's a lot like "I cleaned my house in your name!"


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:18 PM
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Yeah, usually I just give books, but I think in this case it's just too hard to figure out what would be even remotely appropriate. (It's fun to think about the least appropriate book -- I'd love to buy a bible, wrap it up, and say "I didn't just get you a book. I got you the WORD."). I like Witt's ideas in 133 a lot.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:18 PM
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/is a crank.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:19 PM
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Gloves are also good. But you're in Southern California, right? Shame. Gloves are not too personal and yet many people do not indulge themselves in buying high-quality ones, so they make a welcome gift.

Also, this seems like the right place to confess that I recently learned that one can purchase an entire album on iTunes and present it as a gift. Not using such a service, I had no idea, and when presented with a birthday request list that included the items "iTunes gift certificate" and "[specific CD]," I naturally thought the recipient wanted an actual old-fashioned CD. Heavens to Betsy, how embarrassing.

I present this as a public service announcement to my fellow fuddy-duddys elders.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:20 PM
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Sorta. The temporary llama theme on FTA was the reason my friend gave a llama to HI.

The thing with my sister was even better than that, because it was when I was living with her. I asked her offhand if we needed a llama (implication that it would live at her house) and she asked if it was a pretty llama. She assumed that I'd found a lost one, or been given one or something, and she thought it was a done deal and was preparing herself to love it. It was a surprising and sweet amount of acceptance of the idea that I'd bring a large herd animal to live with us.

Maybe the lady lawyer needs a llama.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:22 PM
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I consider charitable donations as presents less of an insult and more of a great big cop out

I gave 250 to the Salvation Army as an insult one year. I mean, it was intended to be an insult to a person and he was offended when he got the receipt. Long story.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:23 PM
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Maybe the lady lawyer needs a llama.

I hear they're good for herding sheep. Does she have sheep?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:25 PM
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I gave 250 to the Salvation Army as an insult one year. I mean, it was intended to be an insult to a person and he was offended when he got the receipt. Long story.

Deliberate insults are of course not good presents, but they can be excellent insults. Of course you kind of cut off your nose to spite your face on that one, by enriching the Salvation Army, but such are the tradeoffs of the insult business!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:27 PM
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Oooh, wait, I know! Bucky Balls! They're named after Buckminster Fuller, the website informercial is narrated by the inventor and features his girlfriend, and it's this year's Rubik's Cube. Who doesn't need another semi-pointless toy cluttering up their desk/coffee table? Plus, hundreds of magnets that pose a danger to small children.

Wait, that's not a feature.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:31 PM
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My daughter asked me earlier today what I wanted -- and only now do I know. A llama. But it must be a pretty llama.

I got her 10 sessions at the yoga studio she likes.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:39 PM
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Llamas generally run pretty attractive -- it's the eyelashes.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:40 PM
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OK, I think I'm going with wine or chocolate. My 2-year old would love the buckyball, though.

I feel like even fancy bath soap is too intimate. How can it not be, you're rubbing it on your body? This is a deep-seated gender difference the sign of a disturbed mind.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:41 PM
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147: There is a decaying "Bucky Ball" (original meaning) on a rural highway near CA's house. It kind of depresses me!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:47 PM
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I bet your co-worker wants a puppy.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:51 PM
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All the kids who want llamas want the llama que llama.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 4:51 PM
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Is there a Molton Brown or equiv in your mall?

Ha. Ha. I just bought a bottle of Molton Brown hand-lotion for a gift this afternoon. Anyway, hand-lotions, soaps, teas; that's what I'd suggest.

I'd rather be drunk than dressed

You're my new hero, Jroth.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:01 PM
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112: "The people at 67 Wine & Spirits, on Columbus at three guesses"

Seems to me it's at 68th, right?

A gift certificate to Etsy would certainly keep someone busy for days, since they have a lot of really cool stuff with no apparent way to search other than clicking through hundreds of pages.

I haven't found the stuff to be particularly overpriced, but I did buy something from a flaky artist who couldn't find the item since she had recently moved and had no idea how to cancel the transaction. Ebay it isn't.


Posted by: Shamhat | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:14 PM
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150.2: Fwiw, Halford, I agree. I'd be ever so slightly weirded out by getting soap from a male co-worker. Even fancy soap.

All of this stuff depends so much on relationships, though. There are people who are absolutely no-holds-barred thrilled when I make a donation in their names, and others that I know would be wounded to the quick. Better to go with safe bets in the workplace, I think.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:30 PM
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That's why she gets a puppy.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:48 PM
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||

Has anyone seen my family? I came home and they were missing, all except the dog. I walked the dog, and they haven't shown up. Should I check in the laundry?

|>


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:48 PM
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Haven't seen 'em, rob. Sorry.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:52 PM
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Couldn't hurt to check in the laundry, though. Maybe behind the drywall too.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:53 PM
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Activate the tracking bracelets?


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:55 PM
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Yeah, lotions and soaps from a largely unknown male co-worker would be strange. Possibly I'm biased here because I hate getting such things; they announce "What I know about you is that you are female", and they nearly always smell like something I don't want to put on my body. So they go in a drawer because I feel guilty about re-gifting.

Gloves are a good idea, even in SoCal. Pretty (lightweight) scarves, too. Something blandly attractive (e.g.) and useful for the kitchen, in a way that doesn't presume she cooks?


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:56 PM
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I'm quite amused thinking about rob coming home, finding his family gone, and coming up with the following plan:

1. Walk the dog.
2. Ask the Mineshaft.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:56 PM
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Also, I'd like to add my name to the list of people who knit and would barter knitted objects for things other than sex.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:58 PM
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158:How big is the dog?

How fast did the dog walk?

What did the dog shit?


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 5:59 PM
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Actually, i know where they are supposed to be. They went to get flu shots. But they were supposed to be back by now. My worry is that the shorties had a total meltdown in the face of a needle, and Molly has had to spend the last two hours trying to calm them down enough to get in the car.

Either that, or they had an allergic reaction to the H1N1 vaccine which caused them to spontaneously combust.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:01 PM
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I'm not a fan of getting anything scented or intended as a toiletry item as a gift from anyone, much less someone who doesn't know me well (well, I'd make an exception for one friend that has impeccable taste and spends a lot of time in France).

If you have any sense of her personal style at all (from her office, perhaps) I think that some sort of decorative item - the plant/plant pot mentioned above, or a vase, or something small and arty for the wall would be nice.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:02 PM
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My daughter is trying to talk me into accepting an alpaca.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:03 PM
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I've never been able to quite understand what the difference between a llama and an alpaca is supposed to be.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:05 PM
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Alpacas are smaller, softer, and cuter.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:06 PM
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167: You worry more about the impeccable taste of a soap-giver than a wall-art-giver? Intriguing.

The moral of the story is that Secret Santa-ing is for the birds.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:06 PM
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I think a llama could carry more stuff -- he/she is going to have to work for a living. And be better able to fight off a grizzly.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:09 PM
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The moral of the story is that Secret Santa-ing is for the birds.

Word. God, I hate that shit.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:09 PM
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The difference is that a Yorkshireman with an engineering degree and a Quaker background could turn alpaca into a ton of money AND a hell of a lot of self-righteousness at once. (see here).


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:09 PM
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171: You're right, it is strange. It's completely personal; smelly things are much more likely to be actually offensive to my delicate sniffer, while I don't really give a crap about what's on the wall (cf. my apartment).


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:09 PM
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She says she'll come shear it. Kids always make promises like that.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:10 PM
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Do people use llama wool for anything? Obviously alpaca wool is widely used. I have an alpaca sweater, which is quite nice.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:12 PM
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Llamas are definitely able to carry more weight and are often used as pack animals for backpackers. My parents were thinking about getting two for awhile for that purpose.

In high school, friends of mine had a llama farm - ranch? - I don't know. Anyway, long story short, he showed up to prom in a llama driven carriage, which was pretty cool. Aim for multiple llamas, so you can be driven around town by them.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:13 PM
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I don't understand how an office could have a secret santa in this day and age. Don't they know there's a war on?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:13 PM
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So, The American Astronaut.

Kind of disappointing.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:13 PM
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178.2 provides a fantastic mental image.

I was at the petting-zoo part of a zoo last week and got to feed goats and a vicuña. Nothing was going to stop the goats from grabbing every last food pellet from my hand, but the vicuña was very shy and delicate---tentatively stepping forward and taking a pellet and then lowering its eyelashes demurely as it swallowed. So sweet.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:19 PM
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One Saturday afternoon this spring, I was having brunch in Berkeley with some friends. Near the end of the meal, I looked out the window, and whaddya know, a couple had decided to park his llamas in the street.

A crowd had gathered, and everyone was having a grand old time. So you know, llamas--a great conversation starter.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:45 PM
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My opinion on camelids is on the record.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:51 PM
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The wife thinks we ought to have a herd of them. My son, hearing about the plan, says we should get alpacas instead. What is it about youngsters these days?

First, though, I am to locate a good recipe for cranberry chutney.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:56 PM
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I always take a pack llama along when I go hiking on the Appalachian Trail.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 6:59 PM
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Or maybe this was my opinion on camelids.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:02 PM
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Hey, Charley, if you all start keeping alpacas, I would totally knit things for you out of their wool in exchange for a little extra wool. If we have someone here who spins, I guess I should stipulate. Do we?


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:04 PM
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You all know that ogged (pbuh) is turning in his metaphorical grave. Knitting barter, artisanal wool exchange, and now spinning. I mean really.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:07 PM
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188 is so true.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:08 PM
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We'll apparently need a fourth to make cock jokes, Gabi.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:14 PM
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I ... don't seem to have it in me. Carry on then! Wool-spinning, anyone? I know a super-duper hippie who does it, but I doubt she reads unfogged. Also, have we discussed gardening lately?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:25 PM
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180: Sorry!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:26 PM
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I ... don't seem to have it in me.

Would you like to?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:26 PM
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(Sorry, sorry, it's just making me laugh, because ogged really would be disgusted, which is, you know, funny.)


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:27 PM
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193: Oh. Sure, but one has standards.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:29 PM
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I know lots of people who are involved in various aspects of wool production and use, but not quite in the same way I think people here are envisioning.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:30 PM
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I know lots of people who are involved in various aspects of wool production and use, but not quite in the same way I think people here are envisioning.

In the good buttsex way?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:31 PM
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197 is making me laugh.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:33 PM
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A burn like 195 deserves a reference to a webcomic much better than xkcd.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:34 PM
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Lanolin is an excellent lubricant.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:34 PM
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Lanolin is an excellent lubricant.

And suddenly, I discover that teo is a lot more kinky than I would ever have imagined.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:36 PM
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Lanolin-based creams are pretty common for nursing moms. This website has a sadly uncreative list of ten other uses for your lanolin nipple cream.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:40 PM
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202: Oh, I know, but it was more fun to imagine teo doing unsavory things to sheep.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:43 PM
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And suddenly, I discover that () is a lot more kinky than I would ever have imagined.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:46 PM
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Lanolin is also used on leather boots.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:48 PM
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And suddenly, I discover that neb is roughly as kinky as I had assumed.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 7:54 PM
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I would imagine lanolin would not be OK to use with condoms. FWIW.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:01 PM
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Noted.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:02 PM
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Okay, I finished all my beer and my train leaves in an hour. Last call for late-night train station meet-up.

...ewez.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:06 PM
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209: Hm. It seems people are feeling sheepish.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:09 PM
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Sheepish, hell. It's cold out there. I don't care how pretty 30th St. Station is.

Have fun, teo. Pick up some nice young lady who's flying high on post-exam euphoria. Make her night.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:15 PM
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It's cold out there.

That it is. I am not looking forward to leaving my apartment.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:18 PM
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Pick up some nice young lady who's flying high on post-exam euphoria. Make her night.

Roger that.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:19 PM
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Great conversation starter.


Posted by: y | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:21 PM
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Roger that.

Only if you guys can find somewhere private. Those cops and their K-9 dog like to roam around at night.

On the other hand, there is that vacant Travelers Aid booth....


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:29 PM
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...laydeez.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:31 PM
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I am taking a spinning class in January! Hypothetical alpaca fiber this way, please.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 8:54 PM
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A train at this time of night? Did you schedule a flight so early you can't take the early-morning train? (I guess that actually doesn't have to be so early, out of Philadelphia...)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:06 PM
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Or maybe no flight is involved, and I somehow thought I read that just because of Witt's use of the phrase "flying high".


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:16 PM
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65, 60: Indeed. I spent a goddamn year in Samoa knitting myself an Irish fishermans sweater,
and ended up with something gorgeous, but sized for a college football player
Samoan.


Posted by: Econolicious | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:17 PM
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buying various cow-orkers massage oils.

$35 worth of Astroglide!

Sorry if this is pwned; I was at holiday parties all night, and I'm on my phone, so my facilities are quite limited.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:35 PM
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Some of the best gifting parties I've held have been poundings. Stop me if you've heard this one: when you move into a new place, you make them snacks and everyone brings you a pound of something you might need--sugar, flour, etc. In Cleveland, we got a pound of condoms and lube, a pound of straws (so many straws!), pounds of liquor, etc. It was the best. When I did it when I moved to my current apartment, someone brought a book of poetry by Ezra Pound, and another brought a CD with 16 songs on it that I still listen to quite often, called "Pound This!" I think Xmas gift exchanges should take up weights as challenges.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:39 PM
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I think Xmas gift exchanges should take up weights as challenges.

It's too bad you said specifically "weights" rather than "units of measure" because otherwise it might've been more appropriate when I wrote in this comment:

Meter? I don't even know 'er!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 9:41 PM
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Wow, never heard of a pounding, but friends are about to close on a house; maybe I'll suggest it (although they already live there; would that be kosher?).


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:01 PM
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I think it would be! Poundings are a lot better than housewarmings, since everyone has a clear task in mind. I think it's a Southern thing; I learned about it from my mom.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:02 PM
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It took me way longer than it should have to realize that Amber in 217 wasn't talking about the class where the instructor tells you to go faster or slower on the minimalist stationary bike.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:03 PM
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I'm sure it would be possible to hook up one of the wheels of a minimalist stationary bike to a source of alpaca fiber.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:05 PM
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A spinning class where one also spins! Excellent. I think you've hit upon a great business model. And the topic of a future NYT trend piece.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:41 PM
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And the topic of a future NYT trend piece.

Called, in deference to the socioeconomic strata that mostly engages in it, "The Spinning Class".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-17-09 10:47 PM
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Roger that

But you haven't even meter!


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 12:55 AM
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Did you schedule a flight so early you can't take the early-morning train?

Yes. My flight is at 7, and I figured it made more sense to just come down overnight than to stay in Philly and try to get myself up and to the airport on time. Plus this way I don't have to bother any of my relatives. Right now I'm living it up at 30th Street Station.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 1:07 AM
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re: 19

I probably wouldn't bother with a Lubitel anymore. Prices on them sometimes get a little high. You can get a decent Rolleicord, Yashica or even a less-collectible Rolleiflex for not signficantly different amounts of money. Shit, there's one UK second hand camera store sometimes punts out old, but in full-working order, Rolleiflexes for under 100 quid; and the Rolleiflex is the one true camera, the camera against which all others are measured.

Soviet Leica copies are fun, though, and if you get a 'good' one, they take really excellent pictures.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 1:16 AM
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I hope you brought a briefcase identical to that of another person in the station and that you exchange your briefcase for the other in one smooth motion as one walk by while the other is seated.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 1:17 AM
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I don't think any of the other people in the station at this time of night are the sort of people who have briefcases.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 1:25 AM
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I hope you brought a torn paper bag identical to that of another person in the station and that you exchange your torn paper bag for the other in one smooth motion as one walk by while the other is seated.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 1:28 AM
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235 made me laugh.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 6:10 AM
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207: OTOH, what other lube would you use with lambskin condoms?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 7:54 AM
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236: Me too.

237: I wondered the same thing.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 8:49 AM
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For Carp and Gabi:

My family owns llamas and a loom. Come visit any time.

I need to buy a gift card $15 or $20 for our office gift card exchange. Did you people decide what was the best gift card?


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 8:54 AM
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118: My sister got me a card with a donation to Episcopal Relief and Development. I liked it much better than the soaps she'd try to make (peppermint generally) and cheap candy. She doesn't have a lot of money, but a $10 donation --or whatever it was-- is meaningful to me.

ERD is a pretty good group, because they work largely with local groups on the ground in the various countries.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 9:31 AM
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221: People do give that sort of thing in a Yankee gift swap. Generally not at work, though.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 9:41 AM
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SECRET SANTA UPDATE: THE RESULTS. So, I went with chocolate. Thanks Bill. Well received but bland. Everyone else seems to have bought more personal gifts -- a nicely themed scarf, a joke gift tied to a particular case; however, I think I did the best I could.

I got a bottle of wine, which I'm so far refraining from drinking in the office.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 1:22 PM
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which I'm so far refraining from drinking in the office.

What is it, one o'clock there? On a Friday? Time to find a corkscrew. Have a glass or two and get to work on your book about LA. Work can wait.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 1:41 PM
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Stick to the vodka in your file cabinet until it's time for dinner.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 1:46 PM
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Stanley is such a rookie and Moby is correct. Wine is for dinner. Vodka or whiskey or gin at the office.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 1:55 PM
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Wow, never heard of a pounding

RTFA, JRoth.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 2:29 PM
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||

So everyone freaking out that it's started snowing is really just people just looking for an excuse to cut out early on a Friday, right? Are Virginians really this scared of snow? It's at like near-panic levels.

|>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 2:33 PM
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247: Are they rushing to the stores to buy bread and milk? Or Astroglide and vodka?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 2:42 PM
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The main problem, usually, is that the DC area has like two and a half snowplows and no idea how to deploy them.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 2:49 PM
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We've taken to referring to these weather events as French toast alerts, since everyone runs to the store and buys bread, milk, and eggs. And then you get to have a pleasantly snowy morning eating the stuff.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 2:54 PM
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Astroglide and vodka

What's that cocktail called again?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 2:57 PM
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They cut us loose an hour early at our POB in Alexandria--my cow-orkers were telling of how badly D.C. area handles the snow.

I'm totally psyched.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:03 PM
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POB

Publication Orthopédique Biomécanique?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:05 PM
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What's that cocktail called again?

The Cocktail would be apt.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:07 PM
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What's that cocktail called again?

R(uss)ohypnol
The Orthodox Monk
Spermnoff


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:13 PM
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What's that cocktail called again?

Sloppy Hour?
Smooth and Asstringent?


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:18 PM
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As long as IAD is open tomorrow, we're good.

OT: Fuck it, I still think John Yoo should be fired.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:22 PM
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257 -- Have you read his new law review article? I couldn't get past the introduction: "I will explain why the cases of the Civil War did not assume the landmark importance, despite their circumstances and language, as a Marbury v. Madison, McCullough v. Maryland, or Brown v. Board of Education, but instead showed the deferential attitude of the Supreme Court to the other branches of the government during wartime" should read "These cases show that my constitutional theories are totally unfounded, but, like the Executive at that time, I prefer to ignore the law rather than comply with it."


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:30 PM
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(He's analyzing three Civil War era habeas cases: Ex parte Merryman, Ex parte Milligan, and Ex parte McCardle.)


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:33 PM
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258: I haven't read it, but it sounds, ah, interesting. I'll see if there's enough Astroglide and vodka at home to give it a shot.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:36 PM
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I've sent it by email. I perused a few pages in -- far enough to get to where Yoo calls Yasir Hamdi an alleged terrorist. That's enough.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:41 PM
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What's that cocktail called again?

The Apollo Soyuz


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:45 PM
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If I don't get it read before I leave, it'll work well if we do ghost stories around the fire next week.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:47 PM
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Assputin.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:49 PM
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God DAMN the Apostropher is good.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 3:53 PM
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The ICBM.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 4:00 PM
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Ljubljana.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 4:20 PM
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I like the French Toast idea. So, the rush for TP is all about after?

This storm had better storm. I went to the market here in Arlington (VA) and it was mobbed. Me, I bought 5 pints of ice cream. I'm set.

Non-player Hamlet, if the forecast holds then IAD might have some delays.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 5:25 PM
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267 is awesome.

Other possibilities:
Slick Russian
Bear Bottom


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 7:00 PM
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Perhaps 266 should be "The Icy BM".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 7:01 PM
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Glassnost


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 7:21 PM
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Sputnik


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 7:22 PM
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Absolub


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 7:29 PM
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A Tight Russian


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 8:04 PM
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Montana is still in this game.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 8:38 PM
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But not to win.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 8:46 PM
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274: Racist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 12-18-09 8:49 PM
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