Did anyone expect him to do otherwise?
This is a neat store as is the well-known but less physical this.
Wait, what? It's the populations in the suburbs that need to be reeducatedmoved into the cities.
Honestly, Heebie, it's like you're not even paying attention.
1: Indeed, commenters on this very blog sold bumper stickers proposing we "get disappointed by someone new who will keep unsustainable populations in our cities."
To the OP, it's been so long that I've been a consumer that I can't even think of a likely candidate.
Although a gift card to the iPhone App Store, with a link to a couple good app review sites, would be pretty good. I suspect there are a lot of people out there who are overwhelmed by the selection and aren't willing to take the time/spend the money to really explore.
But that's less fun than your conception of it.
Wait, how long has it been since your last purchase, you spoony architect?
5: Perhaps a gift card to a nice walk-in medical clinic somewhere?
Seriously, heebie. American Science and Surplus.
I was admiring both links in 2. Well done, young neb.
6: I bought a pair of blue jeans in early November. I've worn them practically every day since. I also bought the Dylan "Must Be Santa" video because it makes me so happy.
Other than that, basically nothing but groceries, alcohol, and my new work computer since, I dunno, May?
If you lessened your alcohol dependency you might have more disposable income for clothes, you know.
You're not buying any Christmas presents?
7: Actually, the other day my heart kept fluttering uncomfortably in a way that I don't think it had ever done before. As it happened, I did some bike errands in the middle of the day, but that seemed to be unrelated (flutters occurred before and long after, but neither during nor immediately after).
Anyway, if it happens again after January 1, I can go to my doctor to ask about it.
Did it occur to you that JRoth might not want you to mention his alcohol dependency? Huh?
12: I'd rather be drunk than dressed.
13: None yet! Actually, I have long-ago purchased things for my dad and sister/s-i-l. I did, in fact, buy an early present for AB from a potter friend. AB got Iris something, and is making her something else, so I don't think I'll be buying her anything. Kai doesn't need stuff from me yet.
Actually, tho, I just realized: we went to Ikea a couple weeks ago, which was consumer-riffic. Desk chair for Iris, a punch bowl, a few other things. Candles and cookies.
12: Actually, I've been able to start buying slightly better bourbon lately, which is nice. But it turns out that I find Bulleit a bit sweet (I must have known this before).
Hey, someone recommend me an interesting sweet liqueur? Buck has a very sweet tooth in terms of drinking -- he'll spend the evening sipping an Amaretto and milk, or a little glass of Canton ginger liqueur, also very sweet. Anyone know of anything they love along those lines that I haven't heard of?
http://hotglasscolor.com/
or
http://www.collectiblecameras.com/
though they have no soviet cameras; a zorki copy of a leica 2 is easy to find esewhere, or a lubitel copy of a rolleiflex.
http://www.boneroom.com/ (work safe; actual bones)
http://www.customcreaturetaxidermy.com/
The second link in 20 is really something.
18: St. Germain elderflower liqueur is pretty nice.
You could try this out.
a zorki copy of a leica 2 is easy to find esewhere, or a lubitel copy of a rolleiflex.
This is totally made-up.
Becherovka is what Jagermeister is a cheap copy of-- syrupy, herbal. Becher's Liqueur in the US, there used to be an Illinois importer. Grand's in Astoria used to sell it.
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Nothing makes me angrier than when students mysteriously drop parts of an equation that they find confusing. Like:
ln x(x-8) = 2
x(x-8) = 2
"I just thought the problem would be easier that way! Is it wrong?" It's just so bullshitting your way through.
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The fruit liqueurs that distillers of eaux de vie make are probably good. Clear Creek, Etter, etc.
The problem would be way easier that way.
The actual problem was log base 3, not ln, so it's actually much easier with the log there. It factors nicely, etc. I just switched it up here to clean up the notation.
This particular part of the test is making me completely irate.
While the troglodytes who ran Lubitel dropped relevant parts of the equation, Zorkis are great cameras, 10% or less the price of Leicas. Old Kodak rangefinders are pretty interesting-- the Signet has a fantastic lens, amazingly durable shutter, and is beautifully designed.
Soviet surveying equipment is also pretty well-made, as well as Kazakh archery supplies.
Kazakh archery supplies.
Solves my shopping problems.
OT bleg: Are Mexican empanadas usually large? Like, as big as a folded tortilla?
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Or like, the instructions are "simplify completely".
log_5 (2) - log_5 (10) =
2 - 10 = - 8
Are you fucking kidding me? Do you really think I'm asking you to subtract 10 from 2?
I wish I made the problem worth more points, so that I could deduct more points.
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Maybe you can put a barfing-face sticker next to it.
34: I always get crossed up with logs -- I have to rewrite as exponents to make sure I've got everything straight. What's the right answer?
17: I don't care for Bulleit either. At the same price-point, I'd recommend Buffalo Trace or Elijah Craig 12-year.
18: I got some Chai liqueur for xmas last year, that was quite tasty, though my wife drank most of it out from under me.
I also have a mild disability with regard to comma placement, but you can't buy that in any store.
37: Thanks, it was driving me nuts. All those rules make perfect sense to me when I'm looking at them as exponents, but rewriting as logs makes my IQ drop seventy points for some reason.
39.1: Thanks; I think I got a bottle of Buffalo Trace once and liked it, but I know I've never tried the 12 year Craig.
Truth be told, I got the Bulleit 'cos it was on sale, but if I'd recalled its sweetness, I wouldn't have.
OT bleg: Are Mexican empanadas usually large? Like, as big as a folded tortilla?
Not in my limited experience. Hand pie size.
Oh, the irony, the irony, it's killing me. On Facebook, someone I vaguely knew in high school posted a link of that video from the campaign where Obama said he visited 57 states (so, not exactly new news, and certainly something that's been gone over before), with a long ass rant about how we elected this dumbass - "We all have a good enough education...America is sickening...How the hell could you let someone run your country that doesnt even have enough knowledge of the country..."
Indeed, how could we? (There, heebie, something else to rag on Obama for!)
At this point, I'd hate to be one of Heebie's students. I'm certain I'd make every mistake she complains about.
Not if heebie'd been teaching you all semester. Duh.
46: You really wouldn't. We go over this stuff, question and answer, chorus-style, all the goddamn time. "What's the inverse of e^x?" They all chorus "ln x!" What's the first question on the 3rd exam? They all chorus "What's the inverse of e^x!" How many of them are able to answer it on the test?
...crickets.
Also, it's the lunacy of the simplification that kills me. Not knowing the answer is one thing. But crossing off the hard parts just makes me cross.
I need a new winter hat, and probably a new scarf, too. (The hat, beloved Icelandic hat, was lost at a party last weekend. The scarf, beloved Fibonacci-patterned scarf (made by a former commenter here!), has gotten all twisty and stretched out after three years of use.
These seem like the sort of things someone who knits would make for me if I paid them. I like having winter accessories no one else has.
So I look on Etsy, and damn, that shit has gotten expensive. I know a nice woolen hat does not come cheap, but seriously.
Does anyone here make or know someone who makes interesting wooly things? I will pay with money and/or barter. (Icelandic hat was present from boyfriend, scarf was paid for with bourbon pecan pralines and two pints of beer.)
My friend sent me a pair of black wool gloves she had knit herself! Out of the blue! I was chuffed.
I'm a rotten knitter, but a fine crocheter. If you find a crocheted pattern you like, I'll do you a hat for some baked goods of your choosing.
Note to 50.last: I am not suggesting I will pay for another hat with sexual intercourse. Being a whore for hats is not something one wants a reputation for.
(This is not a terribly generous offer -- a hat and scarf, crocheted, wouldn't take more than a couple of hours of crocheting time.)
If I buy her the yarn, will she make me one too?
That would make this into a really wonderful thread, if it became a gift-bartering thread.
52: Yay! I do prefer close-fitting hats that cover the ears. Beyond that, I don't know much about hats. I will do some research. Do you like fancy cookies? I could do my dark chocolate shortbreads with cacao nibs and fleur de sel, stuffed with mascarpone cream... Or punitions with raspberry filling? Or both? It's a hat; I'm willing to do some serious baking.
50.last: I know more knitters than you can shake a stick at. I'm happy to act as middleman (taking my cut, of course).
I could do my dark chocolate shortbreads with cacao nibs and fleur de sel, stuffed with mascarpone cream.
I wouldn't mind a reputation as a whore for cookies.
I knit SO SLOWLY. It's very sad.
Maybe something like this, but in a darker gray? Or this, though I can't tell if it would look stupid on me.
If it helps, I'm getting a new wool coat in the mail soon that has a large white-and-black herringbone pattern.
Maybe something like this, but in a darker gray? Or this, though I can't tell if it would look stupid on me.
I have some doubts that either of those will cover your ears completely.
A few stitches longer would do, right? It looks a bit pulled up on her head, to show her cute neck. I like a hat that can be retracted a little bit without looking stupid in case I need to show my cute neck.
Well-placed stitches remind me of creepy wedding nights.
60: Indeed. I spent a goddamn year in Samoa knitting myself an Irish fishermans sweater, and ended up with something gorgeous, but sized for a college football player. Screwing up something that takes a couple of weeks is one thing, but a year is quite another.
61, 63: So, basically we're talking something like a brimless watchcap, in a varigated dark grey? I'll look around for patterns. I need to go buy wool anyway, because the afghan we've had draped over the back of the couch since Newt was a baby is looking ragged, and I'm planning to do a new one.
65.2: Yes, sounds perfect! Email me and let me know what your crocheting/availability schedule is so I can make sure to have some cookies ready. Although -- would you prefer a pie? Or red velvet cake?
Buffalo Trace is good; I like Dickel (Tennessee whisky, not bourbon) a lot, too. JRoth, I recommend you trendhop early and check out some rye; cheap rye (Old Overholt and the cheaper Rittenhouses; the unusual Pikesville* if you can get it in Pbgh) is better than cheap bourbon. Overholt may be the best liquor bargain on the market.
* Which you might not like; it's less spicy and more floral than other kinds of rye due to the grain it's made with.
It's far too late to be early on the rye trend.
If you go for Rittenhouse at least spring for the bonded, which should be under $20.
If you want to spend a lot per ml this is delicious.
I have bad luck with beef shanks. I am never able to achieve tenderness.
If this does become the barter thread, let me casually mention that I have boatloads of fruit in jars.
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Laredo could soon be largest US city without a single bookstore
(I am now worried, given my last pwnage, that somebody has already posted this story on unfogged, and I missed it)
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But I would accept Marion Cotillard.
She certainly is cute as a button.
I am afraid that it's a buyer's market for tasty homemade treats, around here!
68 - JRoth is in Pittsburgh. While you California sophisticates have abandoned Amer Picon for Torani Amer and existentialism, we honest folk in the Midwest have only recently discovered fire.
OK, but if I gave AWB a hat and she just happened to sleep with me - you know, out of appreciation, or just because we were in a car that broke down in a winter storm and we needed to, for the warmth or whatever - that wouldn't be hat-whoring, now, would it?
57: How do you stuff shortbread? Or do you just mean oreo-style?
Treat talk reminds me that I have some tasty spiced nut photos to upload. Dirty!
She certainly is cute as a button.
Her picture on Wikipedia makes her look like she has Spock ears.
If you give AWB a hat, and that creates a mana imbalance that she can only set right by sleeping with you, but it isn't technically an exchange, is that hat-whoring?
I am afraid that it's a buyer's market for tasty homemade treats, around here!
But you probably aren't in the market for fruits in jars. The only other things I can offer are fresh bay leaves and mix cds.
But you probably aren't in the market for fruits in jars.
Not only that, any tasty homemade treats I could offer for something else would have to compete with yours and AWB's.
I've been meaning to get rye, but it's been unclear to me whether cheap rye is worthwhile, and I really haven't been in a position to drop $20 on a speculative liquor purchase.
But I will go for the Old Overholt. Did you know that it originated in SWPA in the family of Henry Clay Frick? Complete with Whiskey Rebellion history.
fresh bay leaves
Ooh! Could I interest you in some very nice computer renderings of somebody else's house?
Somehow I think that caramels would make it through the post in better shape than, say, a quince tart.
Old Overholt is extremely serviceable. We fondly call it "Old Overcoat." I sure do look forward to the return of Manhattans to my life.
78: Well, then I'd be a whore for warmth.
79: Oreo-style.
While I am mostly open to generosity from friends, I do sort of have a phobia about accepting gifts or favors from people I am sleeping with, lest they get the idea that I am sleeping with them for any reason at all other than my own enjoyment of doing so. Is there a category in the DSM IV for "irrational fear of people thinking you're a whore"?
Somehow I think that caramels would make it through the post in better shape than, say, a quince tart.
You may have a point there.
Well, then I'd be a whore for warmth. Oreo-style.
That would probably be most effective, yes.
90: Assuming I actually come through with the hat and scarf, I promise not to have sex with you. So no worries.
85: I bought a bottle of that Jim Beam-produced (ri1)* recently and have found it a little less overwhelmingly different from bourbon than I had been led to expect, but it's not at all bad.
* Jesus label-designing Christ.
If you give AWB a hat, and that creates a mana imbalance that she can only set right by sleeping with you, but it isn't technically an exchange, is that hat-whoring?
Utu probably qualifies, but I'm not sure. It must have come up in the 1860s.
Is there a category in the DSM IV for "irrational fear of people thinking you're a whore"
No, but I think Shakespeare said something about it.
92: Looks like Wild Turkey it is. I was actually eyeing that not 5 days ago.
97: God, I hate it when people quote that. A woman can't be emphatically clear about anything without someone suggesting she *actually* means the opposite. Sorry, pet peeve.
I have too much membrillo. Good flavor, but because I was tipsy when smoothing it out to dry, it's the ugliest, bumpiest membrillo I've ever seen. I was planning on giving it to a few people for Christmas (along with Manchego), but now I'm not so sure.
Old Overholt is fantastic -- I've switched pretty much completely from bourbon to rye, except in bars where you can only get bourbon. The bonded Rittenhouse is also very good.
The Jim Beam rye is actually not bad, but it's usually only a dollar or so cheaper than Overholt and not more likely to be available, so.
90: Connecting this with the previous thread -- maybe winning the lottery would solve AWB's problem.
I was on the scotch trend early enough to drink Lagavulin when it was only $30 a bottle, and onto bourbon when Knob Creak was just at $20. Old Overholt is better than alright, but I'd stick with Bulleit if I had a bottle (the wife cheaped out at the liquor store this week).
Anyway, this is a quite nice brandy for a non-retarded dollar amount (although too rich for me these days), if and when American brandy becomes the trend.
LB, they also have a number of fruit brandies that might fit Buck's bill.
I think I'm going to try to find that elderflower stuff foxtail linked to.
I love elderflower in pretty much all its manifestations. It is a lovely flavor.
Now I'm just trying to figure out where a really encyclopedic liquor store is. My local liquor store is (oddly, given the neighborhood) spectacular for wine, but much less so for liquor; I'm going to have to scout around downtown. Any NYers with an idea?
Now I'm just trying to figure out where a really encyclopedic liquor store is.
LB, they also have a number of fruit brandies that might fit Buck's bill.
Abort abort! Not if he likes sweet things. Fruit liqueur ≠ fruit brandy.
Though they also have fruit liqueurs.
107: The people at 67 Wine & Spirits, on Columbus at three guesses, have always been very generous with their time and advice to non-oenophiles who need to bring wine to parties.
Astor Wines and Spirits it is, unless some NYer steers me different.
112: Should have said "wine and/or liquor": specifically, I was thinking of the fellow who introduced me to Germain-Robin brandies, which have been pretty well-received several times.
Huh. I'll give them a try.
(Have I mentioned how much I dislike Christmas shopping? Schlepping all over the dadblasted city carrying heavy stuff, and I'm never organized enough to do it all online ahead of time.)
115: Donations to Heifer International are never the wrong style or color. Bonus: "Merry Christmas, [incredibly racist uncle]! I know how much you care about poor farmers in [country full of people who aren't white]."
Merry Christmas, [incredibly racist uncle]!
I'm so glad I don't have your* relatives.
* Not just you, Flip; seems like 2/3 of the commentariat has this problem
My mother has explained to me in the past that donations to charity are (IHerO) malicious and insulting as presents. I still don't know what I'm getting her.
No, no, Flip. I must recommend Reisetbauer eaux de vie!
Urgent help needed: I need to buy a "secret santa" Christmas gift for a new co-worker whom I barely know. No real idea about likes, tastes, etc. Late 20s woman lawyer. $35 maximum for the gift. The exchange is tomorrow. There is a totally comprehensive high-end shopping mall within easy walking distance, so it doesn't have to be something that's readily available everywhere, but things that are only available via the internet are not.
I don't want to just buy a $35 gift certificate that can be used in any store in the mall. Am thinking about a bottle of wine but I'm not even totally sure that she drinks. What say you all?
117: Not close to that side of the family these days, but I expect most or many people have a relative or two who regularly oversteps the bounds of "he's from a different generation...."
118: My mother has explained to me in the past that donations to charity are (IHerO) malicious and insulting as presents.
[Sniff. Look away. Look back, eyes full of tears.] "That's all right. I guess I... [voice cracks] I just thought that you loved Jesus. And the less fortunate."
I was going to say bottle of wine even before I got to the end of your comment. Doesn't matter if she likes it; "Here's a free re-gift!"
113: LB, probably Astor but you can also check Crush.
120: Can hardly go wrong with fancy chocolates or candy (even if she's allergic, she can regift, qua 122). But I don't do this much.
120: Fancy bath things are also nice. Is there a Molton Brown or equiv in your mall?
"That's all right. I guess I... [voice cracks] I just thought that you loved Jesus. And the less fortunate."
Mom has strong feelings about Jesus. She's opposed. In theory she's in favor of the less fortunate, but I'm not getting into any out-guilting battles here: I am outgunned in every possible way. I'd be lucky to make it out of a conversation like that with a bare remnant of a functioning psyche.
Fuck I hate forced gift-giving.
Some stylized wall calendar? I've seen some nice moon-themed ones that should could put in her office.
Picture frames are useful.
I've wanted a waffle iron with a cute pattern (too late now, I bought a boring waffle iron).
Gift certificate to a restaurant? But perhaps $35 isn't a fancy lunch in your circles.
Someone once gave me a fancy-dancy coffee table book of the Salton Sea, but I don't care about the Salton Sea (or water projects south of the Tehachapis), so I don't recommend that.
I feel like bath things are a little m/f weird in a work setting, though there is a fancy bath supply store. I like the chocolates idea.
128: Well, chocolates are always nice, but I mean, I wasn't suggesting you buy her massage oils! More like fancy hand soaps! Now I am cracking up imagining buying various cow-orkers massage oils.
My mother has explained to me in the past that donations to charity are (IHerO) malicious and insulting as presents.
Hear hear.
I would think a couple good books she hadn't read would be a good present, but it is hard to guess at what she's read.
By the way, the last time I did this kind of gift exchange (different law firm, near the same mall), in a group of 15 coworkers every single person bought every single other person a $30 mall gift certificate. It was like a cross between some Tyler Cowen thought experiment and an episode of The Office.
How new a lawyer is she? Silver business card case? I think they're about $25 for the low end.
What kind of law? Is she in and out of federal buildings all day long and would benefit from a fancy leather ID case?
But I was so pleased when someone gave to Heifer International in my name. That was awesome. I didn't feel insulted at all.
If you knew her better I would suggest tickets to a concert or other event, but since you don't know her taste, it's hard. I suppose fancy lawyers don't go concerts that cost $17.50 a ticket, in any event.
A plant of some kind? I love getting them, even though I am not a gardener and despite the best of intentions can rarely get them to survive. And that's not overly personal.
I was just thinking of a plant. Or a pretty pot for plants.
Was that the story you told about telling your sister someone had given you a llama and her asking whether it was a pretty llama? I loved that story -- the total acceptance that now you were going to own a llama, and the important bit was whether you'd gotten a good one.
Seriously, wine or liquor is the best, unless you think non-drinking to the point of being offended is a real possibility. Then, I'd agree on the nice soap front -- if you look for something with vaguely Edwardian packaging, it will both probably be nice, and won't seem overly intimate. Then chocolate, and everything else requires knowing something about her tastes, so don't do it.
I consider charitable donations as presents less of an insult and more of a great big cop out. If you want to give money to a charitable organization, by all means give them every last bit of money you want to give them. It is a nice gift from you to the organization! It is not actually a gift to a third party though. The exception, I suppose, is when the third party actively wants to give to that organization and has maxed out their ability to do so. Otherwise it's a lot like "I cleaned my house in your name!"
Yeah, usually I just give books, but I think in this case it's just too hard to figure out what would be even remotely appropriate. (It's fun to think about the least appropriate book -- I'd love to buy a bible, wrap it up, and say "I didn't just get you a book. I got you the WORD."). I like Witt's ideas in 133 a lot.
Gloves are also good. But you're in Southern California, right? Shame. Gloves are not too personal and yet many people do not indulge themselves in buying high-quality ones, so they make a welcome gift.
Also, this seems like the right place to confess that I recently learned that one can purchase an entire album on iTunes and present it as a gift. Not using such a service, I had no idea, and when presented with a birthday request list that included the items "iTunes gift certificate" and "[specific CD]," I naturally thought the recipient wanted an actual old-fashioned CD. Heavens to Betsy, how embarrassing.
I present this as a public service announcement to my fellow fuddy-duddys elders.
Sorta. The temporary llama theme on FTA was the reason my friend gave a llama to HI.
The thing with my sister was even better than that, because it was when I was living with her. I asked her offhand if we needed a llama (implication that it would live at her house) and she asked if it was a pretty llama. She assumed that I'd found a lost one, or been given one or something, and she thought it was a done deal and was preparing herself to love it. It was a surprising and sweet amount of acceptance of the idea that I'd bring a large herd animal to live with us.
Maybe the lady lawyer needs a llama.
I consider charitable donations as presents less of an insult and more of a great big cop out
I gave 250 to the Salvation Army as an insult one year. I mean, it was intended to be an insult to a person and he was offended when he got the receipt. Long story.
Maybe the lady lawyer needs a llama.
I hear they're good for herding sheep. Does she have sheep?
I gave 250 to the Salvation Army as an insult one year. I mean, it was intended to be an insult to a person and he was offended when he got the receipt. Long story.
Deliberate insults are of course not good presents, but they can be excellent insults. Of course you kind of cut off your nose to spite your face on that one, by enriching the Salvation Army, but such are the tradeoffs of the insult business!
Oooh, wait, I know! Bucky Balls! They're named after Buckminster Fuller, the website informercial is narrated by the inventor and features his girlfriend, and it's this year's Rubik's Cube. Who doesn't need another semi-pointless toy cluttering up their desk/coffee table? Plus, hundreds of magnets that pose a danger to small children.
Wait, that's not a feature.
My daughter asked me earlier today what I wanted -- and only now do I know. A llama. But it must be a pretty llama.
I got her 10 sessions at the yoga studio she likes.
Llamas generally run pretty attractive -- it's the eyelashes.
OK, I think I'm going with wine or chocolate. My 2-year old would love the buckyball, though.
I feel like even fancy bath soap is too intimate. How can it not be, you're rubbing it on your body? This is a deep-seated gender difference the sign of a disturbed mind.
147: There is a decaying "Bucky Ball" (original meaning) on a rural highway near CA's house. It kind of depresses me!
All the kids who want llamas want the llama que llama.
Is there a Molton Brown or equiv in your mall?
Ha. Ha. I just bought a bottle of Molton Brown hand-lotion for a gift this afternoon. Anyway, hand-lotions, soaps, teas; that's what I'd suggest.
I'd rather be drunk than dressed
You're my new hero, Jroth.
112: "The people at 67 Wine & Spirits, on Columbus at three guesses"
Seems to me it's at 68th, right?
A gift certificate to Etsy would certainly keep someone busy for days, since they have a lot of really cool stuff with no apparent way to search other than clicking through hundreds of pages.
I haven't found the stuff to be particularly overpriced, but I did buy something from a flaky artist who couldn't find the item since she had recently moved and had no idea how to cancel the transaction. Ebay it isn't.
150.2: Fwiw, Halford, I agree. I'd be ever so slightly weirded out by getting soap from a male co-worker. Even fancy soap.
All of this stuff depends so much on relationships, though. There are people who are absolutely no-holds-barred thrilled when I make a donation in their names, and others that I know would be wounded to the quick. Better to go with safe bets in the workplace, I think.
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Has anyone seen my family? I came home and they were missing, all except the dog. I walked the dog, and they haven't shown up. Should I check in the laundry?
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Couldn't hurt to check in the laundry, though. Maybe behind the drywall too.
Yeah, lotions and soaps from a largely unknown male co-worker would be strange. Possibly I'm biased here because I hate getting such things; they announce "What I know about you is that you are female", and they nearly always smell like something I don't want to put on my body. So they go in a drawer because I feel guilty about re-gifting.
Gloves are a good idea, even in SoCal. Pretty (lightweight) scarves, too. Something blandly attractive (e.g.) and useful for the kitchen, in a way that doesn't presume she cooks?
I'm quite amused thinking about rob coming home, finding his family gone, and coming up with the following plan:
1. Walk the dog.
2. Ask the Mineshaft.
Also, I'd like to add my name to the list of people who knit and would barter knitted objects for things other than sex.
158:How big is the dog?
How fast did the dog walk?
What did the dog shit?
Actually, i know where they are supposed to be. They went to get flu shots. But they were supposed to be back by now. My worry is that the shorties had a total meltdown in the face of a needle, and Molly has had to spend the last two hours trying to calm them down enough to get in the car.
Either that, or they had an allergic reaction to the H1N1 vaccine which caused them to spontaneously combust.
I'm not a fan of getting anything scented or intended as a toiletry item as a gift from anyone, much less someone who doesn't know me well (well, I'd make an exception for one friend that has impeccable taste and spends a lot of time in France).
If you have any sense of her personal style at all (from her office, perhaps) I think that some sort of decorative item - the plant/plant pot mentioned above, or a vase, or something small and arty for the wall would be nice.
My daughter is trying to talk me into accepting an alpaca.
I've never been able to quite understand what the difference between a llama and an alpaca is supposed to be.
Alpacas are smaller, softer, and cuter.
167: You worry more about the impeccable taste of a soap-giver than a wall-art-giver? Intriguing.
The moral of the story is that Secret Santa-ing is for the birds.
I think a llama could carry more stuff -- he/she is going to have to work for a living. And be better able to fight off a grizzly.
The moral of the story is that Secret Santa-ing is for the birds.
Word. God, I hate that shit.
The difference is that a Yorkshireman with an engineering degree and a Quaker background could turn alpaca into a ton of money AND a hell of a lot of self-righteousness at once. (see here).
171: You're right, it is strange. It's completely personal; smelly things are much more likely to be actually offensive to my delicate sniffer, while I don't really give a crap about what's on the wall (cf. my apartment).
She says she'll come shear it. Kids always make promises like that.
Do people use llama wool for anything? Obviously alpaca wool is widely used. I have an alpaca sweater, which is quite nice.
Llamas are definitely able to carry more weight and are often used as pack animals for backpackers. My parents were thinking about getting two for awhile for that purpose.
In high school, friends of mine had a llama farm - ranch? - I don't know. Anyway, long story short, he showed up to prom in a llama driven carriage, which was pretty cool. Aim for multiple llamas, so you can be driven around town by them.
I don't understand how an office could have a secret santa in this day and age. Don't they know there's a war on?
So, The American Astronaut.
Kind of disappointing.
178.2 provides a fantastic mental image.
I was at the petting-zoo part of a zoo last week and got to feed goats and a vicuña. Nothing was going to stop the goats from grabbing every last food pellet from my hand, but the vicuña was very shy and delicate---tentatively stepping forward and taking a pellet and then lowering its eyelashes demurely as it swallowed. So sweet.
One Saturday afternoon this spring, I was having brunch in Berkeley with some friends. Near the end of the meal, I looked out the window, and whaddya know, a couple had decided to park his llamas in the street.
A crowd had gathered, and everyone was having a grand old time. So you know, llamas--a great conversation starter.
My opinion on camelids is on the record.
The wife thinks we ought to have a herd of them. My son, hearing about the plan, says we should get alpacas instead. What is it about youngsters these days?
First, though, I am to locate a good recipe for cranberry chutney.
I always take a pack llama along when I go hiking on the Appalachian Trail.
Or maybe this was my opinion on camelids.
Hey, Charley, if you all start keeping alpacas, I would totally knit things for you out of their wool in exchange for a little extra wool. If we have someone here who spins, I guess I should stipulate. Do we?
You all know that ogged (pbuh) is turning in his metaphorical grave. Knitting barter, artisanal wool exchange, and now spinning. I mean really.
We'll apparently need a fourth to make cock jokes, Gabi.
I ... don't seem to have it in me. Carry on then! Wool-spinning, anyone? I know a super-duper hippie who does it, but I doubt she reads unfogged. Also, have we discussed gardening lately?
I ... don't seem to have it in me.
Would you like to?
(Sorry, sorry, it's just making me laugh, because ogged really would be disgusted, which is, you know, funny.)
193: Oh. Sure, but one has standards.
I know lots of people who are involved in various aspects of wool production and use, but not quite in the same way I think people here are envisioning.
I know lots of people who are involved in various aspects of wool production and use, but not quite in the same way I think people here are envisioning.
In the good buttsex way?
197 is making me laugh.
A burn like 195 deserves a reference to a webcomic much better than xkcd.
Lanolin is an excellent lubricant.
And suddenly, I discover that teo is a lot more kinky than I would ever have imagined.
Lanolin-based creams are pretty common for nursing moms. This website has a sadly uncreative list of ten other uses for your lanolin nipple cream.
202: Oh, I know, but it was more fun to imagine teo doing unsavory things to sheep.
And suddenly, I discover that () is a lot more kinky than I would ever have imagined.
Lanolin is also used on leather boots.
And suddenly, I discover that neb is roughly as kinky as I had assumed.
I would imagine lanolin would not be OK to use with condoms. FWIW.
Okay, I finished all my beer and my train leaves in an hour. Last call for late-night train station meet-up.
...ewez.
209: Hm. It seems people are feeling sheepish.
Sheepish, hell. It's cold out there. I don't care how pretty 30th St. Station is.
Have fun, teo. Pick up some nice young lady who's flying high on post-exam euphoria. Make her night.
It's cold out there.
That it is. I am not looking forward to leaving my apartment.
Pick up some nice young lady who's flying high on post-exam euphoria. Make her night.
Roger that.
Roger that.
Only if you guys can find somewhere private. Those cops and their K-9 dog like to roam around at night.
On the other hand, there is that vacant Travelers Aid booth....
I am taking a spinning class in January! Hypothetical alpaca fiber this way, please.
A train at this time of night? Did you schedule a flight so early you can't take the early-morning train? (I guess that actually doesn't have to be so early, out of Philadelphia...)
Or maybe no flight is involved, and I somehow thought I read that just because of Witt's use of the phrase "flying high".
65, 60: Indeed. I spent a goddamn year in Samoa knitting myself an Irish fishermans sweater,
and ended up with something gorgeous, but sized for a college football player Samoan.
buying various cow-orkers massage oils.
$35 worth of Astroglide!
Sorry if this is pwned; I was at holiday parties all night, and I'm on my phone, so my facilities are quite limited.
Some of the best gifting parties I've held have been poundings. Stop me if you've heard this one: when you move into a new place, you make them snacks and everyone brings you a pound of something you might need--sugar, flour, etc. In Cleveland, we got a pound of condoms and lube, a pound of straws (so many straws!), pounds of liquor, etc. It was the best. When I did it when I moved to my current apartment, someone brought a book of poetry by Ezra Pound, and another brought a CD with 16 songs on it that I still listen to quite often, called "Pound This!" I think Xmas gift exchanges should take up weights as challenges.
I think Xmas gift exchanges should take up weights as challenges.
It's too bad you said specifically "weights" rather than "units of measure" because otherwise it might've been more appropriate when I wrote in this comment:
Meter? I don't even know 'er!
Wow, never heard of a pounding, but friends are about to close on a house; maybe I'll suggest it (although they already live there; would that be kosher?).
I think it would be! Poundings are a lot better than housewarmings, since everyone has a clear task in mind. I think it's a Southern thing; I learned about it from my mom.
It took me way longer than it should have to realize that Amber in 217 wasn't talking about the class where the instructor tells you to go faster or slower on the minimalist stationary bike.
I'm sure it would be possible to hook up one of the wheels of a minimalist stationary bike to a source of alpaca fiber.
A spinning class where one also spins! Excellent. I think you've hit upon a great business model. And the topic of a future NYT trend piece.
And the topic of a future NYT trend piece.
Called, in deference to the socioeconomic strata that mostly engages in it, "The Spinning Class".
Did you schedule a flight so early you can't take the early-morning train?
Yes. My flight is at 7, and I figured it made more sense to just come down overnight than to stay in Philly and try to get myself up and to the airport on time. Plus this way I don't have to bother any of my relatives. Right now I'm living it up at 30th Street Station.
re: 19
I probably wouldn't bother with a Lubitel anymore. Prices on them sometimes get a little high. You can get a decent Rolleicord, Yashica or even a less-collectible Rolleiflex for not signficantly different amounts of money. Shit, there's one UK second hand camera store sometimes punts out old, but in full-working order, Rolleiflexes for under 100 quid; and the Rolleiflex is the one true camera, the camera against which all others are measured.
Soviet Leica copies are fun, though, and if you get a 'good' one, they take really excellent pictures.
I hope you brought a briefcase identical to that of another person in the station and that you exchange your briefcase for the other in one smooth motion as one walk by while the other is seated.
I don't think any of the other people in the station at this time of night are the sort of people who have briefcases.
I hope you brought a torn paper bag identical to that of another person in the station and that you exchange your torn paper bag for the other in one smooth motion as one walk by while the other is seated.
207: OTOH, what other lube would you use with lambskin condoms?
236: Me too.
237: I wondered the same thing.
For Carp and Gabi:
My family owns llamas and a loom. Come visit any time.
I need to buy a gift card $15 or $20 for our office gift card exchange. Did you people decide what was the best gift card?
118: My sister got me a card with a donation to Episcopal Relief and Development. I liked it much better than the soaps she'd try to make (peppermint generally) and cheap candy. She doesn't have a lot of money, but a $10 donation --or whatever it was-- is meaningful to me.
ERD is a pretty good group, because they work largely with local groups on the ground in the various countries.
221: People do give that sort of thing in a Yankee gift swap. Generally not at work, though.
SECRET SANTA UPDATE: THE RESULTS. So, I went with chocolate. Thanks Bill. Well received but bland. Everyone else seems to have bought more personal gifts -- a nicely themed scarf, a joke gift tied to a particular case; however, I think I did the best I could.
I got a bottle of wine, which I'm so far refraining from drinking in the office.
which I'm so far refraining from drinking in the office.
What is it, one o'clock there? On a Friday? Time to find a corkscrew. Have a glass or two and get to work on your book about LA. Work can wait.
Stick to the vodka in your file cabinet until it's time for dinner.
Stanley is such a rookie and Moby is correct. Wine is for dinner. Vodka or whiskey or gin at the office.
Wow, never heard of a pounding
RTFA, JRoth.
||
So everyone freaking out that it's started snowing is really just people just looking for an excuse to cut out early on a Friday, right? Are Virginians really this scared of snow? It's at like near-panic levels.
|>
247: Are they rushing to the stores to buy bread and milk? Or Astroglide and vodka?
The main problem, usually, is that the DC area has like two and a half snowplows and no idea how to deploy them.
We've taken to referring to these weather events as French toast alerts, since everyone runs to the store and buys bread, milk, and eggs. And then you get to have a pleasantly snowy morning eating the stuff.
Astroglide and vodka
What's that cocktail called again?
They cut us loose an hour early at our POB in Alexandria--my cow-orkers were telling of how badly D.C. area handles the snow.
I'm totally psyched.
POB
Publication Orthopédique Biomécanique?
What's that cocktail called again?
The Cocktail would be apt.
What's that cocktail called again?
R(uss)ohypnol
The Orthodox Monk
Spermnoff
What's that cocktail called again?
Sloppy Hour?
Smooth and Asstringent?
As long as IAD is open tomorrow, we're good.
OT: Fuck it, I still think John Yoo should be fired.
257 -- Have you read his new law review article? I couldn't get past the introduction: "I will explain why the cases of the Civil War did not assume the landmark importance, despite their circumstances and language, as a Marbury v. Madison, McCullough v. Maryland, or Brown v. Board of Education, but instead showed the deferential attitude of the Supreme Court to the other branches of the government during wartime" should read "These cases show that my constitutional theories are totally unfounded, but, like the Executive at that time, I prefer to ignore the law rather than comply with it."
(He's analyzing three Civil War era habeas cases: Ex parte Merryman, Ex parte Milligan, and Ex parte McCardle.)
258: I haven't read it, but it sounds, ah, interesting. I'll see if there's enough Astroglide and vodka at home to give it a shot.
I've sent it by email. I perused a few pages in -- far enough to get to where Yoo calls Yasir Hamdi an alleged terrorist. That's enough.
What's that cocktail called again?
The Apollo Soyuz
If I don't get it read before I leave, it'll work well if we do ghost stories around the fire next week.
God DAMN the Apostropher is good.
I like the French Toast idea. So, the rush for TP is all about after?
This storm had better storm. I went to the market here in Arlington (VA) and it was mobbed. Me, I bought 5 pints of ice cream. I'm set.
Non-player Hamlet, if the forecast holds then IAD might have some delays.
267 is awesome.
Other possibilities:
Slick Russian
Bear Bottom
Perhaps 266 should be "The Icy BM".
