Clearly you have a new mission in life: Move to Oregon and start producing artisanally-crafted, locally-sourced, carbon-neutral, fair trade French onion dip for the bistroisie.
Is this something you whip up yourself, or something made by Frito-Lay?
2: I believe it's available off-the-shelf, but most of my experience has been of the stir-a-pouch-of-powder-into-sour-cream variety.
I didn't know french onion dip was able to be made at home. I'm not sure I've ever even seen french onion dip other than the stuff that comes a container from Frito-Lay. I assumed they had some patented, proprietary process.
It's sour cream mixed with a packet of Onion Soup Mix. I'm drawing a blank on the brand, but there's a standard brand of the stuff. No actual cooking involved -- pint of sour cream, packet of soup mix, stir.
Googling reminds me that it's Lipton Onion Soup. I wonder what it's like as soup -- I've never heard of anyone using it as anything but dip.
urple, have you ever considered writing a food blog? Maybe hosting a show on the Food Network? You'd have a built-in loyal following.
7: "I have gathered together a sweater, a tomato, and a plastic houseplant. I will now liveblog my first attempt at casserole."
I wonder what it's like as soup
Not good.
Not bad either, but then I haven't had it since the culinary innocence of childhood.
Making onion dip with the soup mix is good, but it's also really, really tasty if you just caramelize a whole bunch of onions and stir them into the sour cream instead. Salt to taste.
When the topic first came up, I commented that I was surprised that enterprising food people hadn't re-purposed FOdip in the manner of ranch dressing, deploying it on all manner of sandwiches and pizza slices, only to be informed that Quizno's (maybe? one of the Jared haters) indeed sells a sandwich that comes with a side of FOdip.
(but, I should add, the chips you're dipping in it should be plenty salty enough).
pint of sour cream, packet of soup mix, stir
We add whatsthishere sauce.
14? I don't know the sauce you're referring to.
9: Not good.
Not good like Obama? Or not good like aquarium burger?
7: I didn't grow up with a lot of the homemade food. My wife thinks it's hilarious (in a sadly grim way) that until I met her I didn't realize cookies could be made at home from things like eggs and sugar and flour. I thought cookies basically came in two varieties: (1) packaged cookies you buy ready-to-eat in a store, and (2) "homemade" cookies that you buy as a roll of frozen cookie dough and then take home and bake yourself.
She wonders how I thought people made cookies before the advent of modern grocers; I didn't realize they did. I figured they were a recent invention. The packages you buy in a store generally have a big list of unpronounceable chemical ingredients, and there's no note anywhere on the package that indicates that basically the same thing could be made from just eggs and flour and sugar. I've never taken a course or done much independent reading on the history of food, so I don't always know these things. I realize there are probably all sorts of foods that you can learn to make at home, if you know what you're doing. But I still don't really know how to distinguish those you can from those you can't. I mean, okay, you can make cookies, and french onion dip too I guess. What about twizzlers? Or hot dogs?
7: "I have gathered together a sweater, a tomato, and a plastic houseplant. I will now liveblog my first attempt at casserole."
Ingredients: 1 large casserole dish
Place the casserole dish in a cold oven. Place a chair facing the oven and sit in it forever. Think about how hungry you are. When night falls, do not turn on the light.
What about twizzlers?
Not only did you not cook, apparently you guys didn't have a garden.
Not good like Obama? Or not good like aquarium burger?
Apologist I may be, but I don't know if he haz a flavor. Nor am I experienced in the "bobbing for burgers" game. The Lipton Onion Soup mix is too salty and lacks the real carmellization-flavor.
What about twizzlers? Or hot dogs?
No; yes.
Googling reminds me that it's Lipton Onion Soup. I wonder what it's like as soup -- I've never heard of anyone using it as anything but dip.
Vaguely onion-flavored sodium broth, IIRC. We had all manner of Lipton's soup and other crap around when I was growing up, which is mostly why I'm so fanatical about cooking everything from scratch.
22.2: Generally not from scratch, however.
Allow me to be the first to open the front page of the blog to any and all things urple ever wants to write about food. I could read comment 18 over and over again forever.
What do they call French Onion Dip in France?
Onion Dip?
Or would they recoil at the thought of such a thing?
What about twizzlers?
I think the genuineness of this question is on par with the "my nose was crushed in the closing elevator" story.
24: no, but you could. It's just an emulsified sausage.
Even twizzlers, you could make something like them at home.
You know what would be a great structure -- something like Julie and Julia: Urple cooking his way through an encyclopedic cookbook. Say, Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything, for something modern and not too intimidating. I would pay money to read that.
nosflow, how did you come across 19? That was a classic.
What do they call French Onion Dip in France?
English Onion Dip.
I could read comment 18 over and over again forever.
This, totally.
there's no note anywhere on the package that indicates that basically the same thing could be made from just eggs and flour and sugar
urple, you're some sort of national treasure. No, better than that: you should be a source of pride to the whole world.
22: see, my guesses would have been "no; no". But my point is I'm not sure where one obtains this sort of information. Cookbooks? How many cookbooks would you have to read before you could be confidnet that none of them have a recipe for twizzlers?
The final triumph of civilization over nature, or something along those lines.
29: Except that unlike "Julie and Julia," you'd have suspense about whether or not anybody would get food poisoning.
What exactly is a twizzler? Are we talking about those reformed turkey things that they serve children in schools who haven't been Jamie Olivered yet?
37: Licorice tube, usually strawberry flavor.
A twizzler is an inferior form of Red Vines.
Ugh.
Oh please. I've seen what passes for candy in the UK.
I think we call those liquorice bootlaces.
41: I've become partial to "Australian red licorice" lately. Much superior to the various United Statesian red extruded candy products.
34: You'd need to back away from 'twizzler', and start thinking about licorice-flavored candy. And then look for recipes for chewy licorice flavored candy. And if you looked, you'd find them.
There's a moderately interesting question about what it means to say that something is a homemade twizzler. Alameida had a recipe here for a homemade Twix bar kinda-thing. I made it, and liked it, but it wasn't that close to a Twix bar. Likewise, I'm sure you could find a recipe for something that would make you think 'Yeah, that's what the industrial chemists who developed the recipe for Twizzlers were trying to duplicate', but it wouldn't be anything you'd confuse with the thing you buy in the store.
42: ugh is also my reaction to a lot of UK confectionery.
What do they call French Onion Dip in France?
English Onion Dip.
But Twizzlers aren't licorice-flavored.
I thought the distinguishing feature of Twizzlers versus other forms of licorice candy is that they don't taste much like licorice.
Red Vines are harvested from a liana native to the Californian avocado belt.
Twizzlers look like oily licorice, but they are flavored of cherry chapstick.
45: Yeah, for instance Pop-tarts came to mind when urple first asked his question. It would be very hard to make a close semblance of them, easy to make something kinda, sorta like them.
Well, chewy strawberry flavored candy, or whatever that red flavor is supposed to be.
What about twizzlers?
Not only did you not cook, apparently you guys didn't have a garden.
Moby, are you trying to convince urple that twizzlers are a fruit? That's cruel.
Spaghetti, on the other hand, starts out as a kind of tall grass.
Cor Anglais?
Wrong link, I was referencing this, but I actually like this list better.
45: okay. And yeah, "twizzlers" is a brand name, I get that--I just meant recreating something similar. I'd have guessed you needed some sort of industry kitchen machinery, but maybe not.
52: These poptarts actually look pretty convincing. Not worth the trouble, but convincing.
Kind of topically, I'm trying to get a community garden plot. I'm going to meet somebody tomorrow.
Spaghetti, on the other hand, starts out as a kind of tall grass.
Whose seeds are orzo.
Kind of topically to 58, the gardener threatened to kill me this morning. It was pretty weird. I'm actually pretty shaken up.
The distinguishing feature of Twizzlers is, if you use them as a straw, the movie you're watching gets better. Didn't everyone learn this fact of life growing up?
55: Heh. Yes. I was thinking of "French kiss" and "baise anglaise," or, older and very much out of date, but still amusing to me, "French leathers" and "English riding coats."
60: WTF? Or, speak on, omitting no detail, however slight. What happened?
This was the first time I'd ever met him! I called him to get a quote on some work on the yard. Then he threatened to kill me. Then I decided not to utilize his services.
57: These poptarts actually look pretty convincing.
Yes they do! But do they have the right cardboard-y texture?
65 must be withholding some crucial details.
65 is scary, and I want to know more!
65 completely fills my desire to learn any more about the situation.
urple, you're amazing.
18: I've never taken a course or done much independent reading on the history of food, so I don't always know these things.
Most people learned about what can be made at home -- even if they didn't learn how to actually make them -- at home, when they were growing up. Parents and grandparents made stuff. So it's not that people have taken a course or read books on the history of food.
If you wanted to get a general idea of what can be made at home, you'd probably want to peruse a basic cookbook. There are sections on, say, cookies.
Local food critic Al S/cherman had a piece back in the 80s where he tried to recreate all of the Hostess products at home. It was pretty funny.
When I was growing up, we (us kids) had to make cookies once a week because my mom thought that Oreos were horrible.
65: Wasn't there some sort of conditional attached to this, like "I'll kill you if you hire me to work on your yard!" Or was the second part just implied?
64. Okay, so I called this tree service, having found their number on a flyer that was distributed through my neighborhood, and asked them for a quote on some yard work. The guy said he'd be at my house at 8 a.m. on Friday, which was good because I like to keep up the fiction that I could at least theoretically get to work by 9. I'm ready at 8, and no one comes. At 8:30, he calls and says he'll be here within 15 minutes. At 9:00 I'm reaching for the phone to cancel the appointment, when I get a knock at the door.
When I open the door, he already seems pissed off, which puzzles me, because I haven't said anything yet. But his body language (arms folded, chest out) is aggressive, and instead of apologizing or explaining his tardiness, he says, "You wanted yard service. I'm here." I'm totally thrown by this, and I say (I swear, not in an angry way, although I admit I was annoyed), "I was just about to give up on you." He says, "what?!" and I repeat, "I was just about to give up on you -- you're like, an hour late."
Thereupon he goes BALLISTIC. First he says, "bitch, you think you're the only person on this planet? I had to drive all the way here!" And I said, "well, then you should have said you would be here at 9, instead of 8." (I'm not even angry at this point because I have a problem where my emotional responses are very slow.)
He gets angrier and angrier, and at one point thrusts his fist in my face, inches from my nose, and flips me off. He then yells, "you fucking bitch, I know where you live, and I can fuck you up." I said, "are you threatening me?" and he says, "you'd better get inside and close the door before I do something to you." I said, "I'm going to call the police." He yells that I'm a motherfucking bitch, gets in his truck and drives off.
I was weirdly calm through this whole encounter, partly because I have delayed emotional responses as mentioned above, and also because I was kind of in shock. I keep going over it in my mind, but I swear to God, I didn't do anything to set him off. I wasn't rude, or angry, or anything. I'm actually kind of scared, although I take comfort in the fact that he was so upset about having to drive over to the house, which means he probably resides some distance away, so it will probably be too much trouble for him to actually come back to my house to vandalize it or kill me.
77: Jesus Christ. Did you call the cops?
78. Auggh, I guess I should. I kind of don't want to. I don't even know the guy's name, only that he works for D____ Tree Service. Also, the cops probably aren't really going to do anything. And worse, if they do talk to him, he'll just get more pissed off at me.
Wow. That's fucked up. Quite a business model he has there.
77: Holy shit. I was going to tell a story about how I called someone about moving services a few years ago, and he ended up just screaming at me on the phone for no reason while giving me an estimate, but it doesn't come close. Jesus, jms. Is this through a service you can talk to about it, or was the flyer just for the one psycho guy?
You should probably call the cops. That is a pretty specific threat.
You know, I'm not dead sure, but I think I'd call the cops as well. Not to ask them to talk to him -- in fact I think I'd ask them not to, at this stage -- but just so you'd have started a file in case anything happens later.
But I've never done anything like that, so I don't know if it would be productive.
79: Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Yeah, I would also worry about the cops talking to him, but I think I would probably want to call them anyway.
And you could write a really bad review of the gardening service on Yelp?
84.1 strongly seconded. Holy shit.
Here, it might be hard to call the cops just to inform them. Everytime I've tried to call the cops at the regular number, they tell me to go away and call 911.
Auggh, I guess I should. I kind of don't want to.
Probably a good idea to get a paper trail, just in case. Helps to establish a pattern if he does it to someone else (and it sounds like the pattern might already be there). And on the off chance that he does come back and you end up bashing his skull in with a tire iron that case will help you establish self defense. If you lose then at least they have a lead on finding the guy who did it.
The person who answered the phone when I made the appointment was a woman. But I think it's a very small business -- I'm pretty sure the guy who came to the door this morning was D____ of D____ Tree Service.
I looked online and apparently they've threatened at least a couple of people in the past. Nothing on Yelp though.
Thanks everyone. Jesus, what a ridiculous morning. Listening to Antonio V's recorded voice greet me on the LAPD non-emergency line now.
If for no other reason, call the cops to make a record so that, should some other potential customer run into this problem, the cops will know it is a pattern.
Everytime I've tried to call the cops at the regular number, they tell me to go away and call 911.
Write them a letter on paper. Then they've got something physical they have to deal with, and you've got the dated file as an audit trail.
Sorry to hear about that, jms. Hope there's no repercussions.
(I'm not even angry at this point because I have a problem where my emotional responses are very slow.)
I have this same exact thing. It can take me until hours later to get riled up and offended if I wasn't expecting the confrontation. At the time it feels like some strange interaction, where everybody is still friends, right? We're still friendly, right?
Also, your story is totally fucked up and I'm sorry.
I looked online and apparently they've threatened at least a couple of people in the past.
Maybe D wouldn't be so angry if he adopted a different business model.
I think it's something like an unfogged axiom that if your story of interpersonal horrors is more horrible than AWB's (or SEK's before that), then you know you've got real trouble on your hands.
93 is a blessing. I've been losing this slowness recently and it makes confrontation a lot scarier.
Did unfogged deal with the NYT article about the online glasses store? Maybe that guy does gardening as well.
DON'T hire this guy. I don't care how low his quote is.
I'm hoping the community gardening scene is more laid back. Just in case, maybe I should bring a shovel with me and pretend that I wanted to check the ground or something.
Just sent you an email, JMS. Go downtown and get a Civil Harassment TRO which you can do in an hour or two and which should issue more or less automatically today. Cops won't do anything without that, but if you have one you can have them haul away the guy immediately if he comes within 100 feet of you.
DON'T hire this guy. I don't care how low his quote is.
I looked online and apparently they've threatened at least a couple of people in the past.
This would make me feel safer and better about reporting them. You're not the only person getting death threats.
It sounds like Halford has the right idea.
93. Yeah, exactly this. After I closed the door, I was like, wow, what a weird story! Kind of funny, why was that guy so upset?! And then like ten minutes later I realized I was shaking and tearing up.
Also, I just finally got through to the cops, who were like, you need to come down to the station and fill out a police report, and then we'll go talk to him, and I was like, oh my god don't talk to him just forget I said anything holy crap!! Then I hung up.
101: Peter Weir's The Plumber did come to mind.
(I'm not even angry at this point because I have a problem where my emotional responses are very slow.)
I have this same exact thing. It can take me until hours later to get riled up and offended
Me too. Hours later, when I'm mad, I think of all the devastating things I should have said, had I only realized that we were in a fight.
The emotional-slowness thing heebie and jms mention is something I have, too. I wrestle with whether it's a strength or a weakness. I'm unflappable! Until three hours later when I'm wringing my hands over the thing you totally already stopped thinking about.
And then I never forget that we're in a fight, since as far as I am concerned, is still open-ended.
why was that guy so upset?
Maybe next time you could defuse the situation by having some delicious French onion dip on hand.
106, 107: I rarely realize I'm fighting with someone, but when I do, it's really horrible. I got in a screaming match at the laundromat with this bitch who wanted me to take my laundry out of the washer because she had intended to use that one, and I ended up saying some very loud, extremely mean things, so mean that I ended up taking my laundry out and staring death at her for the rest of the time she was there.
Oh, and Stanley, I promise you that we have French Onion Dip here on the west coast. It is generally in the rotation, and might be subbed out for guacamole or hummus, but it shows up regularly. It hadn't occurred to me to make it from scratch, since I assume the reason it tastes so good is that it has MSG in it. (I don't know that for certain, but usually when processed foods taste that good, it means MSG.)
I am the opposite of all of you emotional slowpokes (insert Italian cliché here). I suffer instant head explosions and then am basically over whatever it is in an hour or two.
I tried to make guacamole once, but it didn't taste right at all. Maybe I used the wrong type of pear, but I couldn't find one that dark.
It hadn't occurred to me to make it from scratch, since I assume the reason it tastes so good is that it has MSG in it
Considering making it "from scratch" involves powdered soup mix it would still probably contain MSG.
I cannot say I understand this emotional slowness unflappability thing. I've certainly experienced being blind-sided, such that the only response is, "Huh? Are you fighting with me? Why?" But not even realizing you're in a fight: strange.
112. I think that would be better. I often find myself in the situation Stanley describes, alone hours after the interaction, and finally, fruitlessly, angry. And now there's no way to open the situation back up without seeming totally crazy.
Oh, I've certainly mixed powdered soup mix into sour cream. I meant making it from caramelized onions, salt and sour cream.
114: No, I think she meant what Osgood said in 11. Literally cooking onions.
No reason I couldn't add MSG, I suppose.
119: It looks pretty cheap on Amazon. $4 for 14 ounces.
Guacamole is made from Spanish-speaking lawyers, I thought.
I am the opposite of all of you emotional slowpokes (insert Italian cliché here). I suffer instant head explosions and then am basically over whatever it is in an hour or two.
Soul sister! (Well, not the Italian part.) I often find myself explaining to slow-boil types that I'm not really as upset as it looks.
I hasten to point out that Megan is not speaking for the entire west coast in 111. There are reasons we try to keep her kind from crossing their northern border.
I can get emotional right away if I'm the only person who's upset, but generally I can't be emotionally upset at the same time as another person I'm arguing with. Someone else being upset in an emotional manner usually puts my emotions on ice, until I'm out of the situation and can process it.
And now there's no way to open the situation back up without seeming totally crazy.
What's wrong with "Hey, I'm still upset about what happened earlier. Can we talk?"
I almost never get really angry. It's not uncommon that I get kind of frustrated, and can sort of raise my voice a bit and be overly confrontational about things if I think someone is doing something really unreasonable and stupid, but it isn't anger. I can't remember the last time I got really angry, aside from the sort of anger at politicians and public figures that's different from having a one-on-one confrontation.
Which makes me aware that I can pretty much remember only a couple of times in my entire life when I've seen my mom get really angry, and it was always over something that was kind of a slow burn until she exploded, and then holy shit was her anger ever terrifying. I wonder if I've inherited that and will one day flip out and scare myself.
57: I followed the link on that page to the black bread recipe from a year prior, and holy crap I need to make that.
I've had French Onion Dip plenty of times within 20 miles of the Pacific Ocean. I don't see it that much, and think of it as old fashioned, 50s, and vaguely midwestern, but I assume this is true everywhere in the US.
123 is reassuring. Subbing out french onion dip for guacamole or hummus sounds awful to me, though apparently there are those who do it willy-nilly.
The other side of the emotional-slow-boil thing is that I often have a reaction like, "Hey, this is a situation that I'm going to stew over later, so let's just forestall any further conversation for the moment," which comes off unfortunately as me being frigid or running away. Which I'm not! I just need to go stew for a bit.
There are reasons we try to keep her kind from crossing their northern border.
Oh. I thought y'all were keeping me out because of NAWAPA.
131: So that's what Lyndon LaRouche is doing these day?
131: That too. In fact, we're still angry about it.
I've had French Onion Dip plenty of times within 20 miles of the Pacific Ocean.
I don't know anyone who's ever served it here. </Pauline Kael>
Now somewhat inapropos:
nosflow, how did you come across 19? That was a classic.
It is indeed a classic and I can't remember where I first came across it. I think it first appeared in the Utne Reader maybe? But I've only ever seen it online. (Or second appeared there.)
I don't see it that much, and think of it as old fashioned, 50s, and vaguely midwestern, but I assume this is true everywhere in the US.
I would say it has this association a bit here in the upper midwest too, having been largely displaced by the overwhelming hegemony of ranch dressing. As Stanley said, though, it retains some pride of place in relation to potato chips.
Pauline Kael
Not that it matters, but she didn't really say that. I mean, I only mention it so others don't embarrass themselves as Jesus just did.
135: Oh, right, it was in the Utne Reader. I asked because I was involved with the paper referenced in the link.
I don't know anyone who would be embarrassed by that </Pauline Kael>
135: that was very funny. Even twice.
Von, nice game last night, but I think JMQ's invocation of Pauline Kael in this context is totally appropriate: ""I live in a rather special world. I only know one person who voted for Nixon. Where they are I don't know. They're outside my ken. But sometimes when I'm in a theater I can feel them."
139: oddly, Kael did say that. But only after loogeying in your soup.
Holy crap, jms. That is one of the scarier situations I can imagine, and it just, like, fell out of the sky. Like everyone else, I'm really sorry. I'm wondering how we can help you not feel terrified -- currently I got nothin', except possibly dick jokes? Probably not all that helpful.
141: my understanding is that she said that knowingly, with an ironic wink, riffing off a quote that had been attributed to several other people on at least two separate occasions. In other words, she wasn't being clueless, nor providing evidence of the liberal bubble in which she lived. So no, the quote, as quoted at least, is inapt. Jesus wept.
Also, yes, the game. I loathe Kobe, as I think you know, but he did make a fool of me last night. It was sad, really, a game of cat and mouse.
Apparently the article with the Kael quote is here. If someone has access to the NY Times archives, they can let us know what it says. But the article is from December, 1972, about a month after the election, so it seems a little unlikely that the quote was an ironic reference to a widespread meme that had been attributed to Kael.
For some reason I can't get into the Times archive. Budget cuts? Maybe!
Regarding that NAWAPA wiki article, this line cracked me up, sadly:
The amount of water available would in fact be so great that some water would be left over for use by Mexico
"We're gonna have so much friggin' water, even *Mexico* can have some! The leftover part."
145: I didn't think she was being clueless or ironic. I did think she was just noting that she lived in a bubble. The Nixon in 1972 election would be a pretty tight bubble, since he won and pretty much every county in New York except the one Kael lived in.
145: Okay, I've got the article (I can e-mail you a pdf if you want it). And it sounds like Moby is right: she was being self-aware but not ironic.
With Nixon, you need to remember how different 1972 was from 1973. He won over 60% of the popular vote and every state but Massachusetts.
With Nixon, you need to remember how fortunate he was that Matt Groening did him the eternal favor of transferring the cultural associations of the name Milhous(e) from the cateogry "Corrupt Politician" to "Nerdy Kid With Blue Hair".
Nixon was, like all those people who ignore French onion dip, a Californian.
I'm pleased that this list of Duke Law alums includes "Sam Seaborn, - Fictional Character on The West Wing".
154: And "only" getting into to (or being able to afford) Duke vs. Harvard or Yale was reputedly yet another of Nixon's Orthogonian vs. Franklin slights. He really did seem to pioneer the modern Republican cult of personal victimization. My molehills, let me show them to you as mountains.
Franklin? The kid from Peanuts? FDR? Franklin Pierce? Ben Franklin?
162: No a Whittier College fraternity of all things:
When Richard Nixon enrolled in Whittier College, a fraternity called the Franklins existed on campus. The Franklins consisted mainly of the children of the wealthy local residents, and others who came from some degree of privilege. Nixon unsuccessfully attempted to join the Franklins, and when he was rejected, he founded the Orthogonians in 1929.
I've never understood why Pauline Kael drove so many people irrecoverably mad, with that Nixon quote and otherwise.
The other side of the emotional-slow-boil thing is that I often have a reaction like, "Hey, this is a situation that I'm going to stew over later, so let's just forestall any further conversation for the moment," which comes off unfortunately as me being frigid or running away.
This. Nothing quite so undermining in a relationship than an insistence that the other person be upset in EXACTLY the same way and on the same terms.
Oh, and jms, I am so, so sorry. Maybe a police report filled out down at the station wouldn't be a bad idea--and then you could ask them in person not to get you involved? Is that possible, gswift?
he founded the Orthogonian
Jimmy Pongo gets his answer. Not a new fad! We're just trying to be as hip as Nixon.
and then you could ask them in person not to get you involved? Is that possible, gswift?
His name would have to be on the report as the complainant/victim, but out here he could request it as a documentation only type report and ask that we not contact the other party.
I was just thinking that. So it's one of those retro things then, like Mad Men or calling telegrams "tweets."
167: I'd ignored that before, but now I'm annoyed. I have never used "perpendicular" nor heard it used for anything that isn't 2 or 3 dimensional. "Orthogonal" is a technical term, but not an absurd one.
And "only" getting into to (or being able to afford) Duke vs. Harvard or Yale was reputedly yet another of Nixon's Orthogonian vs. Franklin slights.
Nixon went to Duke Law on a scholarship designed to recruit the best and brightest of poor strivers, or something like that. My grandfather's best friend had been in the same program with Nixon.
I almost gave a humorless, mathematical answer to the question linked in 167. How dumb would that have been?
172: Were you going to use the word "vector"?
A humorless mathematical answer that would have been largely pwned by 170. Dodged a bullet there, I did.
173: I was definitely going to use the word "function".
175: "Humorless." 170 is the funniest thing I've written in weeks.
177 does not necessarily contradict 175.
179: It has nothing with dimensions in the physical world. I'm talking about modeling and such.
To give in to the humorless: But translating it to perpendicular just underlines the fact that it's an obscure and jargony word that doesn't clarify anything. What would it mean to say that one concept/enterprise/whathaveyou is perpendicular or orthogonal (which as far as I can tell are synonyms used for either lines or vectors rspectively) to another? Not that they are opposed, or unrelated, but that they coincide at one point and then proceed in different directions, precisely 90 degrees apart. All of which translates into non-geometric space how? It just seems like a fancy talk for fancy talk's sake way of saying "about two different things."
Obviously it has some preexisting currency in some disciplines, but it's the same reaction I have when anthropologists start using emic and etic for something other than anthropological shop talk: you're being obscuritanist for no good reason.
182: I find it helpful when used to mean that while these two concepts are relevant to the same thing, changing one of them doesn't influence the other -- they vary independently. I don't know another shorthand way of saying that.
How do we feel about "tangential"?
See, that one makes sense: related at only one point. Meaning clear.
re: fights/conflict, does anyone else also have it the best of both worlds? i.e. immediate, incapacitating fury PLUS hours of seething resentment? i am hoping that getting better at (constructively, calmly) expressing the former will make the latter less overwhelming.
I use "orthogonal" sometimes in legal writing in exactly the way LB mentions in 182, because it's useful shorthand. My co-counsel struck the word from a recent brief with a comment "???" so maybe using it hasn't been such a good idea.
184 is right. Perpendicular is really an analogy used to explain orthogonal more than a definition. A bit more than an analogy, because of the original meaning of the word "orthogonal." But, the best simple definition of orthogonal in stats is "unrelated."
182 is a whole different concept.
I almost gave a humorless, mathematical answer to the question linked in 167.
I tried really hard to think of a faux-serious answer that would casually include the word "modulo", but I didn't come up with one.
181 Not that they are opposed, or unrelated, but that they coincide at one point and then proceed in different directions, precisely 90 degrees apart. All of which translates into non-geometric space how?
No, see, the "coincide at one point" thing is irrelevant. It's not a statement about lines themselves, it's a statement about directions. They don't overlap at all. Going out as far as you want in this direction, you won't make any progress going in that one.
it's the same reaction I have when anthropologists start using emic and etic for something other than anthropological shop talk: you're being obscuritanist for no good reason.
I had enough trouble figuring out what my Soc professor at the U of C meant by "let's bracket that", which was used about once per sentence.
130: Yes, this exactly. I freaked Mr. Wonderful out recently by saying, "I need to process. I'm gonna go," because he read it as shutting down or running away or whatever when really it was just that trying to sort out the details of a future which will involve one or more relocations, a dissertation*, a dying dog and a preteen daughter was a bit too overwhelming for me to handle any curve balls gracefully.
* I have a new understanding and appreciation for the dissertation process many of you survived. Wow that really seems to suck.
191: A reference to the NCAA basketball tournament, no?
But "orthogonal" and "tangential" and "perpendicular" don't mean the same thing. "Orthogonal" (which can be applied to functions as well as to lines and vectors) means, pretty much, that they vary independently. "Tangential" means that they only touch at one point. "Perpendicular" means two lines at right angles. Different things!
I think perpendicular and orthogonal interpenetrate in most people's minds.
190: Reading 181 closely is actually a good reason for using 'orthogonal.' Nobody thinks they know what it means so there is less confusion than if people who should be confused think they aren't.
I'm fairly certain "tangential" was Stanely trolling.
195: I think there's a lot more interpenetration going on in many minds than we realize.
Except without misspelling his own name.
but it's the same reaction I have when anthropologists start using emic and etic for something other than anthropological shop talkto this blog's accepted folkways: you're being obscuritanist for no good reason.
"Obscuritanist" s/b "obscurantist".
</pedant>
184: independent?
It's true that in linear algebra, linear independence is a necessary but not sufficient condition for orthogonality, but are there non-mathematic examples where you could interchange the terms?
I'm from Obscuritan and I'm here to obfuscate.
jms, bah! I can add nothing to the public safety helpfulness, but our back tenant is a mad genius permaculture landscaper if you'd like a free consult. And a biscuit.
204: But "independent" has many other meanings and which is meant would most likely need further clarification. I can't actually believe we are having this conversation in semi-earnestness. And I still have no fucking clue what Moby was on about.
The other thing about "orthogonal" is that it's not like it's some obscure mathematical term like, I dunno, "functor" or "homotopy". Is use of the term "exponential" obscurantist?
Ok, thanks. Between y'all and wikipedia I have a better understanding of orthogonal vs perpendicular. It seems some definitions specify the 90 degrees thing, and others just mean unrelated or independent. That second definition makes a lot more sense synonym wise. I still don't see how it adds anything by way of meaning if you're not talking about variables, just, as x. trap was, concepts or questions, but that's me.
On preview, thanks essear, I've apparently made that mistake for a long time.
I can't actually believe we are having this conversation in semi-earnestness.
F'real.
Marine biologists are known to prattle on about "talking at cross porpoises".
The thing about "homotopy" is it's not like it's some obscure mathematical term like, I dunno, "scheme" or "motive"....
("Motive", I'm starting to think, is some kind of elaborate hoax played on outsiders. A physicist I know was told by someone that his work seemed to have something to do with motives, so he's been asking every mathematician he meets to explain to him what "motives" mean, and they all just laugh and say it can't be explained.)
The other thing about "orthogonal" is that it's not like it's some obscure mathematical term like, I dunno, "functor" or "homotopy".
All I can say is, it was to me at that moment, though obviously not to y'all. I was just bemused by the fact that I was only glancingly familiar with it before, but then saw it all over that discussion, sometimes in mathematical contexts and sometimes not.
if you'd like a free consult. And a biscuit.
But I want a pizza, not a biscuit.
Must drive home. Hope that you will all perdure in my abscence.
186: re: fights/conflict, does anyone else also have it the best of both worlds? i.e. immediate, incapacitating fury PLUS hours of seething resentment?
This can be me. I have poor control of my emotions (like a girl) and also cannot control physical expressions of anger* or other emotions**--and then later here comes the fuming retrospection, also accompanied by the physical gestures and tics. Unfortunately I have no strategies to share, my reactions seem to be pretty organic. Although at some level I think the physical stuff helps divert me from unwise verbal and physical aggression, so maybe try growling and fist-clenching and snapping your fingers.
*After one tense work meeting, a former boss of mine remarked that she thought I was going to rip my socks over my kneecaps given how vigorously I was "adjusting" them.
**By all means, do play poker with me.
"Who is John Galt?" (You're welcome!)
I think I'm going to writing a book about Yonatan Galtczynski.
219: At 15 seconds, I thought it was more anteater videos. But alas not.
Bah; "Homotopy" is practically mainstream.
I knew I'd get in trouble for "homotopy".
223: McManlyPants's mom tried to warn you.
I was just kidding in 212.
Also, I came home to find a dirt-covered half-eaten apple placed directly in front of the door to my apartment. This seems weird. I guess probably it was left by a neighbor's kid and is not in any way malevolent, but an unexpected half-eaten apple in your path can be surprisingly creepy-looking.
I also came home to a note saying my new landlords will be conducting a pest-control inspection that involves bringing a trained dog into my apartment. I don't think I've ever heard of anything like that before.
226: Is it for bedbugs? I've heard something vaguely about dogs that can, uh, find 'em or whatever.
Doesn't say, just says "pests".
Maybe my new landlord will be more responsive than my old one to my calls to maintenance to say things like "um, there's some kind of loud animal living in my ceiling" and "no, really, it's in the walls! it won't stop scratching the walls!"
Functor? I hardly...
226: NY1 runs a commercial every morning featuring Roscoe, the bedbug-sniffing dog.
Backing up to urple's early post... never mind official histories of food, did you never notice cookies in 19th c novels? Bribes in Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, boasts in Little Women and Jo's Boys? Or was it not obvious that they weren't storeboughten?
This thread turned out to be a lot more full of thrills than I expected. Urple should definitely write a food blog or food memoir, or star in a food show, and jms should watch some soothingly deranged ice skating movies.
Re urple, I'm reminded of a college aged vacation in Poland with a bunch of my cousin's friends. The women were doing all the cooking, but after I took a turn the guys were shamed into agreeing to make breakfast. Watching them trying to figure out how to break an egg ... priceless.
watch some soothingly deranged ice skating movies
I think this is exactly right.
Urple's food memoir begins: "Did you know that cookies can be made at home? It's true. I have, over time, interviewed a number of people who were willing to share their innermost thoughts regarding homemade food, and have been fascinated enough by their revelations to have set aside other projects in order to fully explore the question of homemade food. This is the story I'll share with you."
230: After reading Little Women, I became obsessed with finding and eating pickled limes.
206: The dimension thing or in general.
did you never notice cookies in 19th c novels?
Not that I recall, honestly. I haven't read any of the specific books you mentioned. But I'm sure I probably did run across them being mentioned here or there, and just never gave it a lot of thought.
I do not remember the pickled limes in Little Women. I remember the Solomonic solution to un-cleanable gloves.
So, how are pickled limes? Like Indian garnishes?
And from way back in 73, yeah, I get that most people just learn from childhood observation, not from books about food. My point was just that I happened not to, because I wasn't around a lot of that as a kid.
Honestly, this is one of those things where I think most of the unfoggetariat is way off in the right tail of the distribution--I don't really think I'm that out of ordinary. A lot of people these days grew up on packaged foods and take out, and don't really know much about food preparation.
240.2 is sort of poignant in its weird misguidedness.
Honestly, this is one of those things where I think most of the unfoggetariat is way off in the right tail of the distribution--I don't really think I'm that out of ordinary. A lot of people these days grew up on packaged foods and take out, and don't really know much about food preparation.
These things are all perfectly true, and even so, I believe you would find that most people know cookies are a thing you can bake "from scratch."
Take some classes, urple--it could be a ton of fun.
I actually did take a group cooking class once, about six years ago, with a relatively well-known chef. We learned to make some sort of lemon souffle. Mine came out way too salty. I can't say the class has proven to be useful--I've never made souffle since, and I don't even remember how anymore.
No, don't take cooking classes, urple! Stay just as you are, and continue to tell us about it.
Yeah, if you take a class, you probably want something a little more introductory than that.
But have you visited a pancake fabrication plant? They make them in big sheets, and cut them into circles to order. The leftover parts are then processed into waffles.
re: 233
Yeah, when my czech in laws visited they were shocked to find I did 80% of the cooking, which wouldn't be at all atypical among British couples my age. I'd guess among my friends that'd be true of most of them. And still very much not true there.
Other household chores may still be somewhat more 'women's work', this isn't an egalitarian paradise by any means, but cooking has long since ceased to be something primarily done my women. Shit, I know a fair number of couples where the female member of the couple barely cooks at all.
Try this: get the short and the Long Minimalist cookbooks and slavishly follow the recipes in the short one (using the long one to look up technique and vocabulary). Do one a day or on odd days.
239: Oh, more like the lime version of a preserved lemon, I think. I suppose I need to know more about the foodways of 19th-century New England to understand why they were essentially currency in . . . Amy's, I think it was Amy's, class.
Also most of us make our own Diet Cokes and Cap'n Crunch cereal. It's probably just never come up in conversation because everyone takes it for granted.
Oh. Man. I totally want some Cap'n Crunch. So awful.
Peanut butter Cap'n Crunch is so delicious.
Reasonably delicious, and reasonably rare; and as a schoolgirl I was part of a group passion for pickled-hotpepper juice poured over popcorn, so maybe it's just a vinegary age.
252: Anyone have a good Coke Zero recipe? The old Diet Coke just isn't cutting it these days.
I know 252 was a joke but this is sort of blowing my mind.
I've found how to make "Cap'n Crunch Seared Tuna", and "Cap'n Crunch French Toast", and "Cap'n Crunch Cookies", but nothing on how to make Cap'n Crunch.
257: That has got to put at least a bit of alcohol in the soda.
258: Get him drunk on appletinis.
I keep on idly thinking about getting some seltzer water and fruit juice to make sparkling delicious drinks.
We learned to make some sort of lemon souffle. Mine came out way too salty.
Christ in heaven, your food comments alone are worth the untold hours I've spent on this blog.
I made my own ginger ale once, with sugar, water, grated ginger and yeast in an old 2-liter bottle. It was ok.
I aspire to making my own tonic water, I admit.
I'm confident I can. I just haven't gotten around to trying it yet.
We made our own ginger ale and it was pretty fantastic. Very different.
I'd like to make my own LSD.
Wait, that's different, isn't it?
Not exactly related: should I give my daughters a durian for their birthday?
I've wanted to make a cheese souffle for some time, but I never get around to it. I have the crock, mixer, and dry goods. I think I'd just need more eggs and cheese.
If your daughters want a durian, then yes.
I aspire to making my own tonic water, I admit.
Lamest wedding in Cana ever. Oooh, thanks for the extra quinine, messiah.
How would my daughters know if they actually want a durian, silly? Anyway, it was a rhetorical question. They've seen them at the market, and I've told them about the durian's legendary aroma, so of course they're fascinated. The real question is, how awesome would it be if I opened their birthday party by cracking open a durian?
How would my daughters know if they actually want a durian, silly?
Why is there supposed to be a problem here?
How does anyone know what they want? Observation or inference.
No, no, no! Certainly not by observation. Inference is harder to dispose of, I admit [1], and there are cases where it can seem as if one infers to an already-held desire [2], but I am philosophically committed to denying this.
[1] You might think that this "harder" is inept since all I did in the previous sentence was assert that one doesn't know what one desires by observation—it's not as if I established that.
[2] Even Finkelstein, in the excellent Expression and the Inner, allows for something like this—but he needn't! and shouldn't!
I'm pretty sure that the only way I know I'm commenting right now is by getting up and sitting to the right of myself, observing where I had been sitting and holding my hands, and inferring that I was probably typing on the computer.
It's as if you know what my dissertation is about and you're making fun of me.
It's as if you stopped playing along. But it's also as if I looked up your blurb the other day during the philosophy discussion and thought the last line was funny.
Based on 275, is your dissertation titled "The Heart Wants What It Wants"? Because that would be pretty awesome.
Also, I was really not sure if you were needling me, because I couldn't recall ever having mentioned what my dissertation is about here. And I keep forgetting about that little blurb thing and how it is, technically, viewable by anyone on the internet.
Excellent! Should I undermine nosflow's dissertation for my daughters' birthday?
Who knows? It would make for a great party!
Could you undermine it with a durian?
There's not much you can't undermine with a durian, I'm given to believe.
I hear you can cure a horse of diabetes if you put a durian in its butt.
That durian's not getting undermine.
What, pray, were you expecting of 280?
Having looked up the blurb after 278, one hoped they were censoring it and you had chosen to write a thesis about how she knows she is fucking.
I'd bet you can cure most larger mammals of being alive by putting durians in their butts. (If my daughters knew I was having this conversation, they would be delighted, until perhaps years from now, when they would be dismayed.)
I guess Neb prefers to ponder girls φing.
I can't figure out exactly what the obvious golden ratio joke is.
How are you coming along on the non-obvious ones?
I guess Neb prefers to ponder girls φing.
a thesis about how she knows she is fucking.
In many cases this is receptive knowledge.
Do 297 and 298 indicate a disciplinary difference in the pronunciation of "φ", or a personal one? (I'm with essear, but I think modern Greek is with heebie.)
Well, you don't want to pronounce π and 'p' the same way, so....
The real question is, how awesome would it be if I opened their birthday party by cracking open a durian?
The disturbing thing is that there is a movie based around this very question.
We're using the air compressor to drain the pipes right now. Hopefully we won't have pipes bursting four nights in a row. Plus the seven burst pipes last week.
303: Can't you heat the house now?
The house is up on pier and beam. The pipes are all below the house.
Oh. I thought the pipes were only freezing because the heat cut out.
Have you considered starting a bonfire under the house?
φφ foe fum
It was an intentional act when I F-ed your mum*
*Submitted as generic rhyming doggerel of the sort often associated with children's games. *Not* directed at anyone's mother.
309.1:
That's not what she said.
Space heaters on a cutout, heebs?
Oh I've got it: electric blankets.
If a house is up on beams, then going down to the basement would mean going outside for a brief moment.
312: They sell something that is basically your joke, but real.
305: Actually better than having them run through an uninsulated attic. They might not freeze quite so readily, but a lot worse when they do, especially if you are away on Christmas holidays as happened to several of my friends in Houston during a deep cold snap back in the '80s. More property damage from that freeze than from fairly significant Hurricane Alicia a few months earlier.
237: The dimension thing or in general.
In general, but never mind I can't really remember, I think couldn't figure out if you were pretend annoyed or real annoyed nor who it would be directed at in either case nor why it would even make sense to be so. Not that it matters other than apparently I may be over-invested in knowing your F-ing intentionality.
I wasn't that annoyed, but I have no intention of using perpendicular when I mean orthogonal.
Also, I'm glad all my pipes run through the basement and that the basement has a drain in the floor.
Also, I'm glad all my pipes run through the basement and that the basement has a drain in the floor.
Word. Basements rule. Our cluster of a refi is finally closing and now we get to start taking bids for a new roof and windows. I want a white steel roof and new windows with that awesome newfangled UV coating so I can give the finger to the sun this summer.
They sell something that is basically your joke, but real.
Not actually a joke, I used heating mantles and heating tape extensively in the lab. I was just trying to avoid a "perpendicular vs. orthogonal" dust-up with all you pedants.
So you tried to take your comments in a direction that was completely independent of that discussion.
Well, I went off on a tangent.
Maybe next time you could give us some sort of sine.
I prefer "sin." I would think apostropher of all people would agree.
Diam. it feels good to be a gangster. Motherfrustum.
Speaking of Motherfrusta. Have you heard the song "Stagger Lee?" It's pretty different.
What did Ngo Dinh Nhu say to his brother?
Diem, it feels good to be a gangster.
In 327 I referred to the Nick Cave version.
Quick food bleg: A friend of mine is coming over tonight, and it's her birthday and she's vegan, so I'm making a vegan cake. Fine, I know a few good recipes. But then my gluten-allergy friend says he's coming. I feel like a letter to the NYT Magazine, but does anyone have a good vegan wheat-free cake recipe? Or should I make a trusty vegan cake recipe with some sort of amaranth flour or something?
(I'm also making baked polenta fries with sauces--vegan and wheat-free--and Turkish lentil koftas--vegan but have bulgur in them.)
I bought a box of all-purpose gluten free flour awhile ago and replaced it one for one with regular all purpose flour in a chocolate cake recipe. Turned out perfect. No experience with vegan recipes, though.
335: Our store has a wide selection of those Bob's Red Mill flours. I'll see what they've got. I think I might be able to talk my roommate into making the cake, since she's got a recipe she's proud of. Now to talk my other roommate into making fried plantains...
333: I have a yummy gluten-free cupcake recipe. It's a PITA ingredient-wise, though, since success in gluten-free baking apparently depends on a mix of non-wheat flours. But maybe you don't want to do cupcakes?
You don't think it would work with whatever Bob's gluten-free blend of all-purpose is? And it won't bake in cake format? (I could def make cupcakes. That would be cute.)
(If you weren't doing gluten-free I would insist you make the vegan pine nut anise cake I put in the food wiki.)
338: I know very little about it, honestly! That's just something I heard. I will send you the cupcake recipe! Also, this (vegan) cupcake cookbook has every possible kind of crazy vegan icing so if you have anything in mind there, I can type that too.
Just mash a bunch of seeds together with some honey and call it a day.
Unfortunately, evil gluten is what makes all things awesome. Especially in breads and cakes.
Do you happen to know if your GF friend tolerates quinoa flour? High protein, so can help out if you can't use eggs or gluten. I think Bob's Red Mill also sells quinoa flour, but I might be wrong. (They definitely do chickpea/garbanzo bean flour, which is one of the subs that a lot of people use.)
This sounds like a mild pain in the ass. You are a good friend.
Here's the recipe -- from V/e/gan Cupc@kes T@ke over the W0rld.
INGREDIENTS
1 cup soy milk
1/3c canola oil
3/4c sugar
2tsp vanilla extract
1/4tsp almond extract
1/4c tapioca flour
2tbs ground flax seed
1/3c corn flour OR 1/3c almond flour
1/2c white rice flour
1/2c quinoa flour
1tsp baking powder
1/2tsp baking soda
1/4tsp salt
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat the over to 350 and line muffin tray with cupcake liners.
2. In a large mixing bowl combine soy milk, canola oil, sugar, and extracts. Mix with an electric mixer on medium speed just to combine. Add tapioca flour and flax seed and mix vigorously for about a minute, until the tapioca flour is dissolved and the mixture is well emulsified.
3. Add the corn (or almond) flour, white rice flour, quinoa flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Mix on medium-high for two minutes. It's important to mix really well and you don't have to worry about over-mixing, because, hey, there's no gluten!
4. Fill cupcake liners a little over three-quarters full, these won't rise as much as traditional cupcakes so you can fill them a little more than usual.
5. Bake for 20 to 23 minutes, until a toothpick or knife inserted through the center comes out clean. Transfer to a cooling rack and let cool completely before frosting.
A friend of mine is coming over tonight, and it's her birthday and she's vegan, so I'm making a vegan cake. Fine, I know a few good recipes. But then my gluten-allergy friend says he's coming.
A friend of mine got into trouble over this very scenario! She was teaching precalculus, and this was her exact example of how to find the domain of the sum of two functions.
The domain of your friend-function is the foods they can eat. So if two friends are coming to dinner, then the domain of the sum of the two friend-functions is the intersection of their individual domains.
The example was going great, and then she got to composition of functions, where the output of one function is the input of the other function. I think she just wrinkled her nose and said "Ok class, the example just got really gross, so we're going to drop it now."
This sounds like a mild pain in the ass. You are a good friend.
The main issue is that there aren't very many people coming, so the food has to be edible to as many people as possible or we end up with stupid leftovers.
344: This would make a fun math problem. A is gluten-free, B is vegan, C is halal Muslim, D is ovolactovegetarian, E doesn't eat anything that isn't recognizably "American," F doesn't eat sugar.
I haven't tried any of these, but the site has a good rep.
The example was going great, and then she got to composition of functions, where the output of one function is the input of the other function. I think she just wrinkled her nose and said "Ok class, the example just got really gross, so we're going to drop it now."And that's when she pulled out the projector.
I always hoped there was a reason for that movie's existence beyond "provide an argument in favor of mad scientists bent on destroying the world." Heebie's found it!
a reason for that movie's existence
I can't believe I never noticed that, that the Human Centipede is just composition of functions.
think she just wrinkled her nose and said "Ok class, the example just got really gross, so we're going to drop it now."
The example doesn't get gross so much as it gets unworkable. If you're only talking about functions from friends to sets of foodstuffs, you can't compose one on another, since sets of foodstuffs aren't friends. If she added, say, functions from sets of foodstuffs to the reals, then composition would work fine and it wouldn't be gross, either.
349: Hmm. Proof that science withers the soul?
What? No, the person is the function, and the domain and range are both foodstuffs.
Wait, 351 didn't mean Heebie's soul. Just, souls in general. And science. And results like The Human Centipede.
What? No, the person is the function, and the domain and range are both foodstuffs.
The range is also foodstuffs? Looks as if the example started off gross.
Well, the topic was just domains of sums of functions when she came up with the example. She just mistakenly carried it forward.
351 didn't mean Heebie's soul.
My 8th grade boyfriend broke up with me because I didn't think people had souls. I'm long withered.
356: Did you laugh in his face and then go, "see?"
No, he laughed in her face and showed her the bottom of his feet.
He wrote me a long letter, which he also read aloud to me before giving it to me.
There was supposed to be a link.
How allergic is your friend? If he's on the extra sensitized side, your pans might retain too much gluten to make the cake edible to him in any case.
Wait, just checked out the link. Did he turn out to be gay?
Doesn't seem to be. We're facebook friends now.
If he's on the extra sensitized side, your pans might retain too much gluten to make the cake edible to him in any case.
Seriously? Couldn't he consult his rabbi?
No, 361 is right. To be "gluten free", gluten is supposed to be less than 20 ppm. And most proteins that make the immune system go all wonky are heat resistant. You have to use an alkaline cleaning solution, I think. GF manufacturing is all about dedicated lines and clean rooms with air curtains and lots of insane, NASA-coming-to-get-ET type stuff.
361: Wow. My friend who almost died in the hospital of celiac isn't even that sensitive. One wonders if someone that bad off could walk past a bakery.
Heh. There are plenty of allergens that you have to ingest in order to get the crazy reaction, but yeah, now I'm thinking about Bubble Boy, and wow that was Jake Gyllenhal.
I had no idea. While I always knew the symptoms were serious, I assumed that coeliac required eating reasonable quantities, it's not an allergic reaction after all.
FWIW, checking the UK coeliac disease FAQs they do recommend not using the same cooking oil that has been used with gluten containing products, and thoroughly washing utensils to avoid cross-contamination, but it doesn't seem quite all the way as extreme as above. Still, I always assumed it was prolonged exposure, to reasonably large quantities that triggered it, rather than very small amounts. So, you learn something new ...
Also, wiki says:
A recent systematic review tentatively concluded that consumption of less than 10 mg of gluten per day is unlikely to cause histological abnormalities, although it noted that few reliable studies had been done
And probably it's fine, anyhow.
There are actually allergies to wheat proteins, too, which seem more likely to involve crazy sensitivity. But, anyway, surely if AWB's friend is that super sensitive, he wouldn't generally eat food cooked in ordinary people's kitchens at all.
In conclusion, although it is not impossible that someone would be so sensitive, in practice it seems unlikely to be an issue. At least I managed to squeeze several comments out of the remote possibility!
At least I managed to squeeze several comments out of the remote possibility!
This is how we build our monuments.
I don't think he's quite that sensitive. He can eat in regular restaurants without wearing a Hazmat suit, so if I make a cake with rice and quinoa flour, I think he'll be fine.
343: You'll get 1 batch of cupcakes and a cabinet full of barely used bags and boxes.
I know a married couple where she's vegan and he's gluten-free. Their wedding did indeed feature a vegan, gluten-free, cake.
Jack Spruten could eat no gluten
His wife could eat no meat nor dairy
And so licking the platter clean
was generally not in their vocabulary.
Their wedding did indeed feature a vegan, gluten-free, cake.
That was not a cruelty-free wedding.
It's as if people are unaware of the wide world of desserts that are not cakes.
People! Cakes aren't even that good!
Take it elsewhere, pudding-eater.
Libel; slander is spoken, to quote J. Jonah Jameson in the first Spider-man movie.
Conventionally one refers to things posted in blog comments (as in things written in IM conversations) as "said". By extension, it is not inappropriate to use "slander" in such contexts.
Life is sloppy, Flip. Life is … messy. I'm down here in the slop, living life. Your grand legal edifices, with their sharp edges and crystalline purity, the promise of a "right answer" to all questions—they're not for me. They're for cowards—people who fear life. Who fear the real. You can have your airy abstractions; I prefer the mess, the funk of life.
I see my idea for a Wittgensteinian management book might be realized.
"Don't miss the new season of Sloppy Desserts on Food Network! Coming right up, Paula Deen throws a can of Crisco at a beehive!"
390: You think I like being an Apollonian paragon of virtue and self-control? I, too, crave the dirt of life under my fingernails. I want the ashy, the crusty, the inexplicably dingy. Curse this lily-petal complexion and Neutrogena-scented hair!
The Inexplicable Dinghy would be a good name for something. A dinghy, maybe.
If one's dinghy were inexplicable, one would have bigger problems than naming it.
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful dinghy.
This is my dinghy;
There are many like it,
But this one is mine,
And inexplicable.
We wrongly expect an explanation, whereas the solution to the difficulty is a description, if we give it the right place in our considerations. If we dwell upon it, and do not try to get beyond it.
The difficulty is: to stop.
The dinghy is there—like our life.
My dinghy begins inexplicably, sustains itself through the free recurrence of inexplicability and ends without explication.
398-399 are equally applicable to dingos.
403: Way to be Veep and then disappear.
401: Call me a rogue wave, 'cause I'll make your yacht rock. Ladies.
Nosflow had a crazy little dinghy,
Aboard which he never served any cake,
Though he often liked his pasta stringy,
His slurping meals never left a great wake.
Sometimes when he fished for tuna or hake,
Nosflow could net a consid'rable catch,
From rivers, streams, oceans and a lake,
Neptune's tasty children had met their match.
Athwart the dinghy's stern there was a patch,
Where once a shark did take a little bite,
On our brave nosflow though, he could not latch,
Quickly neb did paddle, taken now with fright.
Read a silly sonnet on a screen so bright,
It can't explain the dinghy, now goodnight.
387 is wrong - I assure you that things posted on the internet are libel, not slander. Even a defamatory mp3 would be libel.
This would make a fun math problem. A is gluten-free, B is vegan, C is halal Muslim, D is ovolactovegetarian, E doesn't eat anything that isn't recognizably "American," F doesn't eat sugar.
C and D are entirely compatible with B; A is easy if you do a veggie curry with rice and F is golden if you serve fresh fruit for dessert. E can pick up McDonalds on the way over. Job done.
387 is wrong - I assure you that things posted on the internet are libel, not slander. Even a defamatory mp3 would be libel.
I wasn't making a claim about the proper use of legal terms in a legal context, but rather what it is reasonable and appropriate to say in normal conversation.
And this would clearly be one of the rare cases where the sets Normal Conversation and Unfogged Commenting contain common members.
Your mom contains common members.
http://www.unfogged.com/yourmom.jpg
Your mom likes topical small pet bowls.
Just be aware that small pet bowls don't stay small forever. Soon enough they're grown-up large pet bowls. Every day pet bowls are turned out onto the street because their owners no longer find them cute or weren't prepared for the responsibility of their care.
You know what could be served in a small pet bowl? Onion dip, that's what.
An onion dipped in your french mom.
For the life of me, I cannot open this jar of spaghetti sauce. Things I tried: whacking the threads with a knife, banging on the bottom of the jar, (both of the logic of breaking the suction, but I'm not clear that either works), and wearing grippy gloves. Guess I'm not eating spaghetti after all tonight.
421: Run the top/lid under warm or hot water while tapping on it, at an angle, around and around, with the handle of a knife?
The hot water and tapping thing has always been my approach of last resort.
If you think the suction is the problem, take a can opener and poke a hole in the lid.
421: Many methods, a number I'd never heard of, here. When all else fails, hot water usually does it for me as well.
Just tried the hot water method, to no avail.
Have you tried shouting out the window, "I need a big strong man. Now."?
Hey! I got it! Just about the time I was thinking that I was about to strain something in my back. But didn't!
I'm fairly certain I punctuated 427 incorrectly, but I have no idea how it should be done.
have You tried Shouting? out the Window ~ I "need" a Big Strong man ~ NOW!
Maybe you've tried this, but I would suggest another method of attempting to break the vacuum. Namely, getting a thin butterknife or the like and pushing the blade up as far as you can between the threads on the side of the jar-lip and the part of the lid that engages with the threads, then twisting. Never fails for me. The lid doesn't work so well afterwards, though.
Or shouting "It's MY MONEY and I want it NOW!"?
"I'm MAD as HELL and I'm NOT going to NOT eat SPAGHETTI any more!"
426: Well, that's ridiculous, then. (You tapped at an angle, to get at the threads, right? We wouldn't want urple to think a person should be whacking the very top of the lid with a butcher knife under hot water. It would confuse him.)
Put the whole freaking thing in a pot of hot (tap) water, then, and wait for Jammies to get home.
Oh, obviously I should have previewed. She got it!
Also, Paul Newman's Tomato Basil is the only jarred sauce that is good and widely available.
No, this stuff is really good. Classico green olives and capers sauce. Obviously green olives and capers are probably the two easiest things to add to sauce yourself, but whatever. It's good.
While we're at it, let's just run out and put corn on the pizza and ham cubes in the Dr Pepper.
Corn on pizza sounds viable to me. I don't know if I'd want to put lemon meringue on it, though.
420: trying to cure her colic?
439: corn on pizza. Isn't that UK-behavior?
439: If roasted, it's not bad. I just like regular Italian food, meaning what grandma made.
You don't tap on the side, but on the corner or whatever you call it of the lid. Do it lightly enough and you end up with a slightly dented but still perfectly usable lid.
Re the OT, what nasty chemically things do people here like. I've got a thing for Nestle Strawberry Quik.
443: I have a soft spot for Diet Stroke.
what nasty chemically things do people here like.
Oh, don't get me started. I think processed food tastes fantastic. I mostly try not to eat it just because it's not healthy.
445: Just be sure to start with a whole ham so you can get real cubes. And chill both the ham and the Dr Pepper.
Do pork rinds count as processed food?
I remember being told once that a slaughtered animal was then to be "processed," if that helps.
I had a roasted corn and green chile pizza at The Cheese Board not long ago. It was fan-fucking-tastic, maybe the best pizza I've ever had.
449: I tried to make that, but it fucked-up my microplane.
I had a roasted corn and green chile pizza at The Cheese Board not long ago.
You'll get your comeuppance one of these days, I swear.
Plus, the ASPCA made all kinds of trouble.
453: Every time I'm in the Bay Area, I'm either with my family or visiting my best friend from high school. I just don't come your way for any other reason. But I promise that if I do, you'll know about it. (As long as you promise not to tell neb.)
Every time I'm in the Bay Area, I'm either with my family
Have you not told your wife about us? What does she think you're doing on the computer all the time?
It was fan-fucking-tastic, maybe the best pizza I've ever had.
Favourite pizza topping thread? The best pizzas I've had have been those tomato-less ones with, like, just rocket and parmesan on it, or at most some proscuitto as well.
As I've said before, P/zza Luc3's Gar/ic Mashed Potato Pizza is like manna from heaven, except tastier and presumably more expensive.
Manna is actually extremely expensive.
I thought it wasn't so much the expense as the inordinately restrictive end-user license agreement that kept people from partaking of it.
Nope:
Not quite saffron prices, but still, not cheap.Oh. Don't eat too much manna at once. Its indigestible sugars make it act as a laxative. The $28 an ounce price tag will help you avoid this problem.
456: she knows about all of you, and especially you, Josh. It's just that when we're in SF or the East Bay, we're doing kid stuff. That said, you're welcome to come with us to the Exploratorium or on the miniature train up in Tilden Park, if you want.
Not wanting to expose children to the Mineshaft seems like a good excuse.
I don't get why people like Cheese Board pizzas. Sure, they're organic fair-trade living-wage free-range pizzas. They're also extremely greasy.
I propose that 417s should be called nebrolls. (Teorolls doesn't scan as well.)
I'm really into the Brussels sprout pecorino pizza at my local place. Yum.
Last night I hosted a movie night with friends and somehow woke up this morning with all my clothes on, not remembering a thing about the last half of the movie or the argument I started about censorship after it was over. Happy birthday, friend we had over! Seriously, I used to be able to have more than four drinks and remember what happened.
So I guess you have no idea if the gluten friend is still alive?
The gluten friend survived! Everyone loved the food, especially the dip I made for the polenta fries out of soy cream cheese, cilantro, green onions, and chipotle.
