oooh, minivet--the smooth yet manly way you asked for an example just gets me all hot and bothered!
Well, I don't want to name names. I cannot believe you've never seen this happen, though.
Please sir, could I ask a completely off-topic question? Have any of you US Americans watched/seen Slacker Cats on abc? Tonight's episode is written by a (non-US American) friend of mine.
Ogged just calls them "liberal guys." That seems to work.
This is in no way limited to internet comment threads. Doesn't it happen a lot more in situations where the guy is actually in the same physical location with the ladies and they can see each other?
And yes, I have noticed the phenomenon. Not so much to pull blokes though amongst the mommy-blogs I frequent, more to impress new friends, leaving the rest of us sniggering "yeah right".
I like "hornblogging", it's perfect.
Do people really go to great lengths to impress ladeez they've never met, probably never will meet, and who, for all they know, don't exist IRL?
OneFat, you'd be surprised at the overlap between unfogged comment threads and real-life interactions. We're practically a dating service at this point.
onefat--isn't he that awesome hongkong shoot-em-up action hero?
i had no idea he commented here. damn. now *he's* going to get all the ladeez.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Unfogged: dating service of choice for John Emerson!
Comments comments! comments on Comments!
"Hornblogging" is awesome, but I doubt that what you describe ever happens. You're so mean, Labs.
Waaal, I am no longer trying to get laid, but I do notice guys trying to prove that they are slightly conscious. Including myself, I suppose. But I can see the effort in EK who really really wants to be a good guy. MY, with hs nominalism and ironic poses (anti-cat?), has a more complicated stance. Let us indeed talk about people by name, and weed out all the true feminists from the poseurs and groupies.
"All hetero relationships are rape, and all romance & marriage just perpetuate the patriarchal oppression of the sex class." Would this work in a bar?
"All hetero relationships are rape, and all romance & marriage just perpetuate the patriarchal oppression of the sex class." Would this work in a bar?
One way to find out!
17: It sure as hell didn't work for me this weekend.
I did find my 'with respect, this sounds like specious bullshit' comments didn't generally win me friends in the feminist philosophy seminar series.*
* not that all feminist philosophy is bullshit... [this is second-order hornblogging]
3: I'm pretty bad at picking up subtext. Possible manifestation: I found Gore's 2000 debate performances very compelling on a visceral level.
The Unfoggedtariat needed to see this Q&A from Roger Ebert's Answer Man column:
Q. I read your "Superbad" review and agree that it was a fun movie. The only thing is, the times have changed since you were in school and third base no longer means what you think it means. I don't know of a classy way to explain third base now, but Bill Clinton should give you a hint. Unless of course that's what third base meant back then.
A. I was thinking of shortstop.
i think it will put me in good with the ladies if i point out the following:
there is doubtless a female version of this same phenomenon.
fl is showing his sexist consciousness by not directing equal attention to it.
and coming up with a name for it, too.
(can't think of any myself).
I believe the country is more than 50% female, so it's just treason.
Do people really go to great lengths to impress ladeez they've never met, probably never will meet, and who, for all they know, don't exist IRL?
Oh yes.
There should be more posts on gender relations in the comment threads.
As a newcomer, I find the way men and women relate here endlessly fascinating.
28: I've never told anyone "Look in the archives" before, but please, look in the archives.
"Hornblogging" is awesome, but I doubt that what you describe ever happens.
Proof that you don't read your own comment threads, or maybe your own posts. O Tevas girl!
28: I also often find myself thinking about the dynamics of gender relations. Particularly when I'm reading my dog-eared copy of The Church and the Second Sex on my way to a Take Back the Night March. Don't listen to the haters, defend these interests as robustly as you can.
AS A WOMAN I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT MEN GET A BAD RAP{.
Is this phenomenon related to the post-movie discussion where one guy leaves the other guys in the group shaking their heads in stunned disbelief when he loudly agrees with his girlfriend that Pike Bishop and the Wild Bunch shouldn't have walked down the dusty road to kill Mapache/Bruce Wayne should have taken some therapy and learned to be happy after his parents' deaths/Wile E. Coyote is not, in fact, a super-genius?
34: I'm rather of the opinion that Karenin and Anna should have gotten a no-fault divorce, myself. And Emma Bovary? Don't get me started!
Yeah, I think this is something women are used to doing pretty much all the damn time, but men who do it are characterized as spineless and whipped. We're all spineless and whipped, people!
I think of this as more pre-movie: "Yea guys, [my honey] is right. My Pretty Pony looks much better than Bourne Supremecy!"
35: Adultery isn't a fault?
36: Yes, women are all on Mapache's side. It's odd, really, but I blame Warren Oates' facial hair.
37: I assume [my honey] means your daughter? Or that your gf is 10?
So the only reason men agree with women is to get in our pants?
Why do you all even marry people you don't respect, hmm?
Why do you all even marry people you don't respect, hmm?
This, in boldface, 100-point font, everywhere, to everyone.
So the only reason men agree with women is to get in our pants?
You're right -- it's outrageous when men do that.
40: gay marriage isn't legal most places.
42: Y'all are idiots, then, b/c it isn't that damn hard to learn to cook.
45: It's easier to learn to not have to.
It isn't that damn hard to learn to dig ditches either.
46: Compared to being married to someone? Like I said, idiots.
43: See? Adam gets it. Adam, why are you still single?
Y'all are idiots, then, b/c it isn't that damn hard to learn to cook.
It is the laundry folding, not the cooking.
Actually, I win bc my honey LOVES football more than I do.
50: 2nd order inverse hornblogging, very tricky!
Also, in the pre-internet days, it gave you somebody you could needle who'd usually rise to the bait.
Dear.
She is tricky though. I like the Redskins. She likes the cowpokes.
40: Or to get into your friends' pants.
I don't think there's a discrete measurement of how much agreement/politeness is too much in a relationship. It's probably the most important factor, for me, in deciding whether someone could become a close friend or partner. Someone who agrees with everything I say, no matter how absurd? Repulsive. Someone who starts fights for the pleasure of seeing me upset? Also repulsive.
But I know plenty of men and women who require absolute lockstep agreement from everyone around them, and also some who are only titillated by a constant state of high-school Lincoln-Douglas-style debate.
What I find confusing is those people who actually seem to be convinced by my opinions about things, and so change their own after spending time with me. I don't trust them. Respect for my opinions is one thing; adopting them is something I assume only undergraduates honestly do.
53: at least you're both equally misguided.
On reflection, 55 is an accurate reflection of what I believe, as well.
Someone who agrees with everything I say, no matter how absurd? Repulsive. Someone who starts fights for the pleasure of seeing me upset? Also repulsive.
Agreed.
Q:What do you want to do?
A:Anything you want.
I want to date someone else, not myself. I want someone who brings something to the relationship. Preferably a nice paycheck or a nice house at the beach, but if not those things, at least independant thought.
On reflection, 55 explains a lot about my relationships with my dissertation advisors, too.
55: Well, but people do legitimately change their minds sometimes. If someone quickly adopts many of your opinions, that's alarming.
The most truly open-minded person I've ever known was a flatmate when I spent a semester in England (U. of Sussex). He had his own strong opinions, but would also listen to & discuss thoughtfully with others and sometimes, upon reflection, change his mind without defensiveness. He was a lovely, lovely person. (Who I've sadly lost track of and has such a common name that Google, etc., are of no use.)
Thinking about it further, 61 is probably a more accurate picture of what I think about this.
58: What's wrong with a division of labor where one partner more often plans activities? Huh?! Maybe some people are just more plugged into that kind of thing, or have more specific desires, or both, whereas some other people are just looking to go out and have a good time and don't really care what in specific they "do" -- such that it would almost be artificial for them to assert that they "want to do" some specific thing.
And no, I do not feel insecure on this issue at all.
Who Whom
(And here I sit, eagerly waiting to watch "Wordgirl," a new PBS kids' show.)
55: I don't mind if people disagree with me, as long as they obey.
Adam, I often find myself in this position because most of the guys I've dated have been narrower in their tastes of things to do. That is, if I continually suggest fun things to go out and do, and he keeps saying "No, let's make dinner at my apartment and watch TV," it really makes me not want to answer the question "What do you want to do?"
That is, the fault in the conversation in 58 can be on both parties. If the person asking has proved he doesn't actually give a shit what the answer is, because he's tired and cranky and doesn't want to do anything at all, he shouldn't ask.
Dating Flippanter would be easier if he weren't always trying to make his horse a consul.
63: after strongly asserting my opinion that no preference was a perfectly valid preference for many years, I've realized that people like somebody who has opinions, and likes, such that they are not always worried that they're dealing with (a) a passive aggresive timebomb, (b) an affectless lump, or (c) a hopelessly overenthusiastic feeb. I thus attempt to always express a preference, but cheerfully give way when prodded.
Does this work? Who cares! At least I'm doing something.
I thus attempt to always express a preference, but cheerfully give way when prodded.
This is a good method of dealing with all relationship issues in the short term.
69: long term, obviously, I let the anger and resentment built to a good, frothy head.
68: I've actually adopted a variation on that policy, throwing out suggestions that I certainly wouldn't mind doing, but that I don't expect will be taken seriously. Thus I have no investment in "my" options and am able to go along with it when other (invariably better) plans are suggested. I have had some limited success in picking restaurants, though.
I'm beginning to find that I like routine a lot better than most people -- I don't have infinite tolerance for it by any means, but I have no principled objection to going to the same restaurant or bar all the time, etc. At the very least, it's good to have a default "fallback" thing to do. I guess that's how I view "my" plans in general -- a fallback if the other person doesn't feel like coming up with something.
a passive aggresive timebomb
Hm!
66: "I want to go to the Metropolitan Museum and look at this painting, the weird nautilus-esque craquelure of the sky in which has been nipping at my heels for a long time, and then I want to go to the Arms & Armor section and look at the Japanese swords for a really long time, moving my head very, very slowly from side to side so I can examine the blades for otherwise-invisible nicks and imperfections that suggest long prior lives of drinking the blood of men. Why? What would you like to do, sweetheart?"
67: Trigger is more qualified for the position than many a senator I might name but will not, preferring to forbear to disparage the arithmetical skills of the Senate's greybeards.
B @ 41 :
She asked me. She actually needed me, both emotionally and materially and in other ways. That'd never happened to me before. Nor had adult love, and I had despaired that it ever would. I was needy and broken too. I saved her life, and her kid's life. All it cost me was pretty much everything.
I'm beginning to find that I like routine a lot better than most people -- I don't have infinite tolerance for it by any means, but I have no principled objection to going to the same restaurant or bar all the time, etc. At the very least, it's good to have a default "fallback" thing to do.
Exactly. If you do the same thing repeatedly, it's probably because, well, you like doing it! Nothing wrong with that. And if your life is pretty good, why shouldn't you be content?
I'm such a dick, but I enjoy reading the end of 74 in the voice of Don LaFontaine.
75: Without the chill breath of danger in one's face, the serpent of fear tightening its coils 'round one's spine?
One of the things I used to teach in my public opinion class was about how men are much more pro choice when the person asking the questions is a woman than when its a man.
I let the anger and resentment built to a good, frothy head.
See 68a.
Without the chill breath of danger in one's face, the serpent of fear tightening its coils 'round one's spine?
That part comes from the women I date. Or try to.
74: So it was a marriage born of pity. Bad idea.
79: thanks for making that explicit, B.
I guess I somewhat resent the implication that how a man acts around other men is somehow more authentic than how he reacts around women.
I remember when my brother was about 14, he'd answer the phone in a natural voice, and then, hearing it was one of his dude friends, his voice dropped about an octave. "Hello, [Bear] residence? OH, HEY BRO. WHAT'S GOIN' ON?" Men learn very early on that their dude friends reward them for sounding hypermasculine, holding misogynistic opinions, and expressing interest only in violent/pornographic media. Is that more real than sounding sensitive, gentle, and caring in the hopes of getting laid?
Is that more real than sounding sensitive, gentle, and caring in the hopes of getting laid?
Way more. Am I right, bros?!? YEAH!
(chest bumps)
One of the things I used to teach in my public opinion class was about how men are much more pro choice when the person asking the questions is a woman than when its a man.
And more pro-war when the person asking the questions is a man. I would assume.
84: Boo-yah! That's what I'm talking about! Let's all go get tattoos of eagles fighting snakes fighting dragons fighting tigers!
83: Sometimes people will put on an act for friends of their own gender, in an attempt to live up to their expectations. (As with the hypermasculine schtick, so with hyper-giggly BFF girly schitck.) Other times people will say things to friends of their own gender that they'd be less likely to say to a member of the opposite gender, because they genuinely feel more at ease doing so. This can't be any kind of news.
I've always been a HOS BEFORE BROS man, even as early as first grade. The only time when it didn't work in my favor was at Olivet, where "working in my favor" in the shortrun would've probably meant "wrecking my life" in the longrun.
90: I've always been a HOS BEFORE BROS man
I hear you. Positive Image Makin' Progress.
B @ 81 :
Yes. Even worse, a good deal of the pity was self-pity.
87: Dude, the tigers have to be fighting the eagles too. Otherwise, it won't go all the way around our MANLY BICEPS.
I've always been a HOS BEFORE BROS man
There's news.
94: I've been flexing since comment #65.
Aw, slam! You just got called gay by a girl!
82: You can always count on me, Tweety.
95: Dude, liking muscles so does not make you gay. Matt Feeney totally settled this.
100: I like Michael Wood's review much better than Feeney's apologia: http://www.lrb.co.uk/v29/n08/wood01_.html
100: How much better would the Feeney article have read if it had been entitled "Do You Like Gladiator Movies, Billy?"
83:
Men learn very early on that their dude friends reward them for sounding hypermasculine, holding misogynistic opinions, and expressing interest only in violent/pornographic media.
Some men conclude that.
This is in no way limited to internet comment threads. Doesn't it happen a lot more in situations where the guy is actually in the same physical location with the ladies and they can see each other?
This phenomenon contributes to a minor subplot in Tom Wolfe's The Bonfire of the Vanities. A prosecutor goes all-out to win a conviction (despite believing that the charges hardly merit punishment) because he wants to bang a female juror.
I guess I somewhat resent the implication that how a man acts around other men is somehow more authentic than how he reacts around women.
Word. My manner around women is very different from my manner around men, but I'd hate to think that the latter is the "real me." I like the former a lot more.
My first thought upon reading this: sounding sensitive, gentle, and caring in the hopes of getting laid was "that's a terrible way to try to get laid," but what do I know, after all.
Well, hey, you might have a shot with AWB.
Just don't make this mistake again.
The flophouse is drunk tonight. To celebrate labor, we grilled 30 pounds of meats, made brilliant potato salad, frijoles, cornbread, special spencer salad, catherine-cobbler, and margaritas. And susan's back! And ohmygod, it was such a spread.
Andrew Cholakian's comment in #110's thread is really the all-purpose blog thread gender issues comment. It would work if OPINIONATED GRANDMA said it, too.
Did you freeze the rest of Susan to cook later? Did the cobbler just have catherine in it, or fruit, too? What made the potato salad brilliant? Cubic Zirconia?
Get some more drunk commenters here, pls.
Also that Spencer salad sounds acerbic; perhaps some pineapple would sweeten it?
What made the potato salad brilliant? Cubic Zirconia?
Diamond dust. They do things right there.
Did you know that green cubic zirconia are green because of RADIOACTIVE URANIUM? It's true!
Spencer salad is sweet corn, heirloom tomato, and raw okra, with a dill aioli. Catherine cobbler is peach and the other one, I don't know, we didn't get to it. Becks made the cornbread, Susan made margs, I smoked meat, Saiselgy arrived woo!
Susan made margs
Susan made margarine? Or she boiled marigolds? Mangold-wurzels? Margaritas?
After investigating to see whether "Andrew Cholakian" was comment spam or not, I discovered that in the last thread he ever commented on here, he said this. And was never seen again.
w-lfs-n's first casualty!
The problem with the toilet blowjob is that you can't use your hands, or you have to use your hands against the stalls to brace yourself. Apparently. They're yet not willing to falsify their experiments on me.
The problem with the toilet blowjob is that you can't use your hands, or you have to use your hands against the stalls to brace yourself.
Tell them to try the handicapped stall, the one with the handles on either side of the seat.
I smoked meat
Well now there's a surprise.
But aside from the sex, did you do any cooking, 'Smasher?
w-lfs-n's first casualty!
He still lurks. He supported me in email about the LA meetup that never happened.
Oh man. 125 before I read 124.
How am I missing JT on hbo??
125: The problem with the toilet blowjob is that you can't use your hands
Not true.
I'm told.
Junk science, in this case, being a most desirable outcome.
He still lurks.
Ah, I'll have to give up my plan to comment as "Andrew Cholakian" purely for the purposes of saying "Goddamnit, you just don't understand what it's like!" now and then.
Now we're talking about 2004. Remember Wesley Clark? I miss Wesley Clark.
We wish you were here, too, Ben w-lfs-n.
The next Unfogged house should be called the hovel.
I bet the flophouse is four hundred feet tall and studded with emeralds and crystal skulls. I bet Saiselgy emits beams of golden light from his mouth when he talks. I bet Becks and Catherine mime blowjob technique while levitating beatifically above the floor. I bet Armsmasher smashes the gossamer arms of angels.
I wish I was the flophouse.
I wish I was the flophouse.
I, more modest, wish only that you used the subjunctive.
132: Well now there's a surprise.
139: Well now there's a surprise.
The problem with the toilet blowjob is that its (ball)cock is located in that tank of water.
139: yes, we all have dreams. Were mine as prosaic and humble as yours are, I would be a happy man.
I should a) go to bed, as has the rest of the flophouse, or b) drink merrily and dive into the new emmylou harris duets record I bought today. Or c) drink heavily and comment here all night, and perhaps also make an ass of myself via text message.
I refuse to believe we live in such a beautiful world that the ballcock was actually invented by Thomas Crapper, as per Wikipedia's claim.
145: You're asking us? What is the likelihood anyone will say anything other than c?
drunk drunk drunk.
spencer's potato salad: roasted potatoes with onion and rosemary and a, i think, parsley-basil mayo dressing. star of the night, besides kriston's million pounds of brisket, pork, whatever. we talked about the toilet BJ thing again. it will be reenacted. but it is impossible to do without falling off toilet. you all come to next flophouse bbq. we heart unfogged.
145: And don't forget drunk dialing, 'Smasher. The classics are classic for a reason!
But no, no, you can't have my number.
145: (c) is so obvious as to be laughable.
we talked about the toilet BJ thing again. it will be reenactedvlogged.
I don't has phone! So I can't call, uh, spencer? I also don't has prospects.
Now, 152 is definitely how you build an audience.
Although whenever I hear aioli I think areola and giggle.
I should a) go to bed my computer, as has the rest of the flophouse
I don't care if you're drunk, Becks, there's no such thing as Catherine aïoli.
To be fair, I'm in bed on my computer.
There probably is such a thing as Catherine areola, not that I'd know.
Catherine drowned your phone while getting a Becksjob, right? That's gotta sting.
159: was this during the reënactments?
If you lived here, you'd know. She basically refuses to wear a top when she's at the house, always applying to the "sports bra" defense.
To be clear: it's offensive, and a subject of debate.
166: way to increase your lurkstalker quotient by an order of magnitude, Smashbro.
Don't you cover the keyboard?
Yes, but usually not with splooge.
Even worse, a good deal of the pity was self-pity.
Yes, that was clear.
Yeah, those topless beauty-contest winners. Offensive.
168: Oh, chill out. She's got nothing you haven't seen before, and it's her *home*. You're lucky she isn't wandering around naked and picking her nose in front of you.
Yeah, Kriston thinks it's offensive for the girls of the Flophouse (well, Catherine, really) to walk around wearing only a sports bra and shorts and that more clothing should be required.
Kriston - were you also offended by the coverup I was wearing when you ran into me in the hall last night?
174: the vlog ideas are coming fast and thick tonight!
175: did you have the sandals and sunglasses, too?
I'm way hoping Becks had the sandals.
A little, yes. If only because I'm so used to you doing the right and responsible thing: wearing a robe, as all good roommates should. Also, merlot red? Scandalous, Becks.
Sounds like Catherine's giving the Smashman blue balls, but the Smashman doesn't want to say so. Catherine, cover yourself! You'll give him nut cancer if you don't.
I rather imagine Becks striding around the hallways late at night like Zsa Zsa Gabor, until a muttering, dishevelled Armsmasher runs into her, sending his pile of dusty art books clattering to the floor.
182: but it's not even close to christmas!
It's not merlot red. It's strawberry.
Also: I can't see how that's a special sale price when it's twice what I paid earlier in the summer. Oh Victoria's Secret. How you suck.
Also also: yes, I'm good about wearing a robe when walking down the hall but I'm also the bad roommate who will continue to wear that robe for half the morning and have long conversations downstairs in said robe with my hair in a towel turban.
Wearing robes all day is a proud and honorable tradition of multi-roommate living.
I say that if your living situation precludes you from lounging around naked all day like a civilized human being, you should at least be able to lounge around in a robe.
The sarong is an important piece of gear for mixed-gender living.
166: I HATE YOU!. this is what happened: i got home from a 9 mile run saturday am and was putting around in my room, yes, in my sports bra, like 9am, when armsmasher got out of the shower in his grody robe and knocked on my door to chat about something and i opened the door and he was all like D00d cover yourself and then i punched him in the groin. and YES sometimes i wear a sports bra while CLEANING THE HOUSE bc the only time i have energy to clean the house is after runs and I HATe you1. also my shift key is broken.
No harm in robe chat. It's catherine, with the strip houseclean, that I cannot abide.
Solution: clean the house yourself! Everyone wins.
It's catherine, with the strip houseclean, that I cannot abide.
My hypothesis: confirmed!
Better yet, Smasher, clean the house in your longhorn undies.
Smasher, I don't think you're going to win anyone over with your "I wish my female roommate wouldn't clean our house for three hours wearing only a sports bra" argument.
Armsmasher rivals AWB and ogged in the "unfogged commenters whose sexual mores I find utterly mystifying" sweepstakes.
yeah poor smasher, walking around with his female roomies in hot nighties and sports bras. poor boy. i will end you.
Also, I've seen Smasher clean house wearing skimpy clothes before. And not even at his own house! I'll be sure to upload the pics (and there are pics) to the Unfogged pool.
'Smasher thinks of Catherine like a sister. Not having had sisters myself, that would never work for me.
I'll be sure to upload the pics (and there are pics) to the Unfogged pool.
YESSSSS!!!
Yes, but Megan made me breakfast, and she also fixed my pants.
Not having had sisters myself
Though not for lack of trying.
198: right! smasher wears PORN SHORTS! ugh. porn shorts. if somehow unfogged could stop him wearing those i would owe my life to the site.
She recognized the beauty of the market at work; why can't you?
(Catherine: throw them out. That's what I did with Mr. B.'s.)
This must be some reverse psychology shit because I'm tempted to start walking around the house in even skimpier nighties now.
Geez, Smasher, not sure about those.
(NSF*, inc. W)
Becks sure doesn't seem very Becks-style.
Oh, we can do escalation, Becks. I want a wholesome home, but that doesn't mean I'm afraid of the nuclear option. In pink and green.
Becks has to get up at 4 AM for work tomorrow. Becks shouldn't be awake right now, let alone on the internet.
Oh. A thong. Thought you meant thongs like flipflops.
Honestly, who wants a protruding prosthetic vulva?
No, seriously. Who wants a protruding prosthetic vulva? I've got, like, three here.
The problem with scantily dressed roommates is that they disturb the asexual buddy quality of the roommate relationship. Nobody wants to leer at their roomate, although it would make a great Unfogged thread.
SUMMER IS NOW OFFICIALLY OVER. WE ARE NOW TEN MINUTES INTO THE NEW YEAR.
Also, what are porn shorts?
What's Bred in the Bone is a pretty good book, peopoe.
Also, what are porn shorts?
five- to fifteen-minute movies intended to get the viewer hot and bothered, usu. without any artistic or aesthetic intent. Armsmasher wears the film around his crotch as a charm against chastity.
Video installation, IYKWIM, and I think Ben does.
Video installation, IYKWIM, and I think Ben does.
Guy Maddin should look into this.
You know how you'll be reading a comment thread and notice some dude taking a position that doesn't quite cohere with his other views, or defending a claim in an unusually robust way?
228: yes, it's called "pitching a tent."
I admit it, Becks: I'm just trying to get in the pants of our resident Robertson Davies fans, whoever they may be (I have a de dicto interest in these individuals).
228: You're right. I think catherine really does have a thing for these shorts of mine.
232: I am unlikely to get the phrase "camel pit" out of my head tonight, you bastard.
233: they aren't really porn shorts, though. They should be tighter.
232: One for church, one for the office.
234b: Yeah, a friend of mine keeps a pair on hand that are much shorter and tighter. He uses them as a way to see if the girl he's dating is really into him or not. A few weeks ago, I advised him to wear them everywhere. Because I care!
It never occurred to me that the stupid things I say on the internet might have any bearing whatsoever on where my dick goes. If, indeed, they do, my question is this: did it hurt?
Those are gonna come back in a big way, just you wait. All board short-wearin' suckers are going to be chafing for the high-and-tight look.
I can't decide if it's sad or awesome that apparently the denizens of the flophouse are sitting around drunk, each on his or her own personal laptop, interacting on Unfogged.
Smasher is clearly a big ol' homo, because everybody knows girls look cute in sports bras. Also cute: towel turbans.
216: That is some funny shit.
Dude, Armsmasher, you're gayer than an actual gay man. That's pretty gay.
231
Like the Deptford trilogy the best, but
I don't think I'm your type.
our resident Robertson Davies fans
Me! Me! But the joke's on you because I'm not wearing pants.
I'm not wearing pants
That's okay, as long as you're wearing a sports bra.
247: no need, with the handy Toe Belt!
Aside from What's Bred in the Bone, which I'm only just now finishing, the Deptford Trilogy is the only of his works I've read. In fact, I wrote one of my essays on the AP English test way back in the 20th century on Fifth Business.
The rest of the Cornish Trilogy is fantastic.
I wrote one of my essays on the AP English test
Ben is banned.
You're banned. The reason is self-explanatory to any self-respecting commenter.
I have never had the effrontery to respect myself. I demand an account.
Unfogged frowns on education of any type.
I personally frown on talking about your AP exams for more than 24 hours after they're finished. And certainly on remembering what the fuck you wrote about. And most certainly on actually telling people what you wrote about.
I personally frown on talking about your AP exams for more than 24 hours after they're finished.
Not without taking a drink of water now and then, anyway.
If you had written your AP English exams while fending off flesh-eating zombies or something, that would presumably be different.
I look forward to your post inviting everyone to compare SAT scores.
I answered a question on AP Physics B with "How 'bout those Knicks?"
259: Right, but then it's a story about zombies, not about your stupid exams.
I personally frown on talking about your AP exams for more than 24 hours after they're finished.
You know, for underprivileged people, taking the AP exam is a big deal. Being down with the gente myself, it saddens me to see people taking it for granted and scorning those for whom it is a noteworthy accomplishment.
Goddammit, where is Labs when I need someone to back me up on the toolishness of talking about your high school academic successes?
It's sufficiently toolish that even notorious tools such as myself don't do it. Yeesh.
I din't take no AP exams. All y'all poindexters is welcome to fight mah bear down in the quarry mine.
Tools are not always the best judges of etiquette, you know.
I am sufficiently out of food that earlier tonight I ate a few spoonfuls of breadcrumbs straight from the container, but I just now realized that my refrigerator is out of beer. This is unacceptable.
I drove my #2 pencil deep into the zombie's cerebellum, certain the minor bite would not be enough to make me change.
"Thank god we have AP Anatomy and Physiology at this magnet school. It helped me know where in the braaaaiiins...."
Goddammit, where is Labs when I need someone to back me up on the toolishness of talking about your high school academic successes?
So who said I succeeded?
You seem to be under the impression that I was in any important sense talking about my ap exams, and not merely relating something related to the subject of conversation that I happened to have remembered earlier in the day (when reading the top of my edition of WBitB, advertising Davies as the author of the Deptford trilogy), and further under the impression that one can draw up a table of toolish behaviors quite apart from the circumstances of their performance, which is, of course, bosh, though I suppose in keeping with your (crude) anti-intentionalism.
259: Right, but then it's a story about zombies, not about your stupid exams.
I was establishing the rough time period in which I read the Deptford trilogy. I honestly don't understand why you're so up in arms.
263: Funny you should mention that, because I had to climb across a raging river to take my AP English exams. And I wrote my essay in Elamite cuneiform on the subject of Finnegan's Wake, bitches, all while fighting off a group of zombie ninjas. Take that.
I wrote all of my AP language exams simultaneously, in Volapük. ∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴
I assume you're referring to a novel, Doc, but to the best of my knowledge there are only folk songs by that name.
Fuck, I fear I've incurred the wrath of grammarians.
I wrote my AP exams in the blood of my enemies.
273 is excellent.
274: Who knows but that the novel in question is a folk song in its own way. At least, such was my argument, mostly on the strength of the Sordid Sam passage.
273 is great, and I have to wonder how tightly it ties into the novel I just finished today.
But there is no apostrophe in the novel's title. You see.
The parallelization of subject novels in this thread confuses endlessly.
I hate you all on principle regardless of your prior successes and failures. But that's because I'm in a lousy fucking mood. You bastards.
Jake is excepted. I pour some of this gin out for him and all my other homies, be where they may.
284: all failures. Beer 2 U. Who loves ya, babe?
Hey, I should end all my comments with a bunch of "therefore" symbols. That must be what made that comment so enjoyable.∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴∴
Sadly, I think there is a SAT or maybe GRE thread somewhere in the archives, likely attached to an unrelated post.
I thought there were limits to the number of times you could take the tests.
245: you mean sports bras and towel turbans? I don't think so. I didn't say wearing them *at the same time* would be cute.
Are there sports turbans and towel bras?
I don't know, but searching for "sports turbans" brought me to this.
Not that you aren't doing perfectly well at destroying unfogged on your (collective) own, but I thought I might introduce a further degradation:
Jacoby Ellsbury, bitches. He saved a game we never should have won. Do we have the best outfield in the majors? Sweet jesus, I believe we do, and that includes Manny. Ain't a man alive who can play the monster like Manny. If our roation could come to its senses we'd cruise into the WS. As it is, I see us getting knocked out by the Angels,.
I can't believe I wasted time reading this fucking thread on this fucking dating service.
m, i did, however, almost chuckle one time
#24: there is doubtless a female version of this same phenomenon.
"She's different with boys".
I too am a Robertson Davies fan.
Sadly, I think there is a SAT or maybe GRE thread somewhere in the archives, likely attached to an unrelated post.
I seem to remember that. Y'all are some sad fuckers.
you mean sports bras and towel turbans?
No, dork, I mean you saying girls are cute wearing X, and then claiming that Smasher's not noticing this makes him gay. Either not noticing cute girls makes you gay, or knowing what looks cute on girls makes you gay: you can't have it both ways.
I think it's a rule in the Gay 101 handbook.
Excuse me, blog proprietors? Do I get a present or something when B takes my bait?
And all of a sudden, look who's Victorian (you can't have it both ways.)
I'd send you a present, C., but I'm sure I don't have the fabulous taste that would be required to pick something appropriate.
Are you sure? My coffee table has this dreadful unfabulous spot crying out for a knickknack.
