Yet another reason to hate the Yankees. Fucking Jeter.
Fucking Jeter
I think that's part of the problem.
Ritchie nailed his ass. [/cedric] Choo-choo!
Comparisons of A-Rod and Jeter should fold "likely to give you VD" into the analysis. My recollection is that A-Rod is dating a porn star or something (as well as, one assumes, his wife), so it's not clear which way this factor militates.
I'm totally disappointed with the "embarrassing" part of the Scaife divorce. It's certainly no Jack Ryan.
Defendant has and continues to unlawfully hold in his possession six pairs of asparagus tongs
For some reason, this made me giggle terribly. Perhaps there's something intrinsically funny about asparagus tongs.
a porn star or something
"a longtime stripper and Playboy Bunny wannabe who has danced at one of A-Rod's favorite jiggle joints"
6--
for some reason this reminds me of a question i have been meaning to ask the assembled luninaries:
why is '30', the canonical number of goddamn dicks?
(i hope ben w. doesn't mind--i should probably let him ask the ritual questions he's the youngest son and all).
Oh, well then, I'm not going to return Jessica's phone calls. When I get them, I mean. Any day now.
Yeah, the Scaife divorce is weird but not that scandalous. Yet. I just love the thought of that guy losing a big chunk of his inherited wealth and having his privacy violated in sort of like the way he wanted the Clintons put on display.
9--
well, i'll accept that as at least a proximate cause.
now: if each asparagus tong can be used to serve up five goddamn dicks....
the Scaife divorce is weird but not that scandalous. Yet.
Larry Flynt, call your office!
7: So depressing. For gawd's sake, you're A-Rod. OTOH, I can believe that a stripper is less likely to have an STD than a porn star. So he's got that going for him.
This is a sex-positive nonjudgmental blog!
Jeter is kind of cute----until he takes off his baseball hat, that is. It must be a Yankees bylaw that everyone is required to have the same nasty-ass haircut.
14: I suspect (but don't know for certain) risk rates are higher amoungst the 18-25 meat market crowd.
This story is bullshit. I gave Jessica Alba herpes. And she's not even my type!
I AM SPARTACUS GAVE JESSICA ALBA HERPES!
It was [Ritchie, Scaife's wife] who reportedly helped him get sober after years of alcoholism
That was her first mistake.
The Scaife divorce has nothing fun in it at all. Didn't Populuze say on this blog just the other day that it isn't a good republican scandal unless it involves The Scaife divorce has nothing fun in it at all. Didn't Populuze say on this blog just the other day that it isn't a good republican scandal unless it involves "Buttplugs and fetish gear". And surely, linking to the story of this late far right preacher--found dead from auto erotic asphyxiation while wearing not one but two wet suits, scuba mask and rubber underwear--sets a new bar for what we can link to.
As I said on that LGM thread, I actually heard the Jeter-as-simplex-vector by virtue of a friend-of-a-friend who claims to have gotten it from Jeter herself. I guess you don't have to have range to your left in order to catch herpes. Heyoo!
Jacoby is pure as the driven snow. This is an outrage.
And, now that I've wrenched the topic to Boston sports, what level of poor sportsmanship is driving to score with 1 minute left when you are already up 35-7?
23: I remain highly skeptical that guy was alone.
25: The only thing I can figure is that Belichick has decided to make the point that the taping signals really wasn't giving the Pats any extra advantage, and that they're just toying with the rest of the league this year anyhow. Or he's really set on Brady setting the TD record high enough that it will stand for a generation.
I thought the goal was to say "We're still using spying techniques that nobody else is, and you don't know how to catch us doing it!"
That is weird and improbable. I was too busy marveling that someone put on two (2) wet suits to masturbate, and thinking that he must have a level of foreplay with himself that most people don't have, to realize that the whole thing just couldn't have happened.
also
populuze s/b Populuxe
I was figuring that the details of the tying would make it clear. I mean, I figure there are ways someone could tie themselves up in a fashion that they could later get themselves loose, but that someone experienced in such matters could be reasonably sure that the person was self-bound, rather than tied up by someone else.
If someone says "social disease," he or she is probably over sixty and was always prudish.
Then there's "VD," which strikes me as something only over 35 or 40 year-olds say.
I'm in the "STD" age-bracket, which I guess I'd put at 25-35.
Kids these days are saying "STI". Or so I am told.
Does this seem right?
That does seem right. I heard VD as a kid and STD growing up, and I'm right on the age border.
But I'd never heard "social disease" and think I'm going to adopt it right away.
I grew up with VD (ahem), but would probably say STD now. I'm 36.
31: That seems about right, with the exception of anyone who works in health care (here) or is close to them is more likely to say STI.
Acutally, I'd put the `VD' camp at older than 40, maybe 45.
31: STD skews even younger than that. My younger brother is 21, and his health classes still used the term.
i'm in the "fond memory" camp.
Gee, Officer Krupke,
We're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease.
That seems about right, with the exception of anyone who works in health care (here) or is close to them is more likely to say STI.
And I don't think anyone else says STI. Just like the professionals.
Much like my friends who aren't in the Behav/oral and Commun/ty Hea/th Department use the word "gay" instead of "MSM".
Jack Mormon's 31 reminds me of the routine that Eddie Murphy used to do about how venereal diseases have gotten progressively worse: first came syphilis, which you could cure with a shot; then herpes, for which there is no cure; then AIDS, for which there is no cure, and it's fatal.
The punchline was, roughly, "What's next? You put your dick in, and it explodes?"
The "social disease" euphemism cracks me up. I'd heard it (or read it, more likely) for years before I figured it out. I'd thought it referred to mononucleosis and, uh, other stuff that got passed around when you went to college; I knew all about HIV at the time, mind you.
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease.
That's right, it was in that song! Was that really referring to an STD? I thought it meant a fellow with a malfunction in his ability to survive in polite society, you know, antisocial.
27: The ESPN line was that it's just a giant 'Fuck you' to the rest of the league.
41--
if you read the lyrics, it's an extended joke that begins with labeling juvenile delinquency of any kind as a social disease.
but the joke takes its point from the prevalence of that phrase as a euphemism for syphillis, gonorrhea, etc. etc.
34: Asilon is me, down to the age. But I think I knew 'VD' as a colloquialism -- IIRC, the only thing I was ever taught in school was STD.
I think at 39 I was in the lull between VD and STD. I heard VD growing up, and I think even at the time it sounded antiquated, and I just said things like "herpes" or "clap" myself. I have no recollection of STD until I was old enough to be thinking about how younger people were getting the sex ed message.
Why change from STD to STI? Just to keep people on their toes?
STD seems precise and worth defending. Everything prior is somewhat euphemistic, or relies in the case of VD on arcane terms. I hate the taboo-like renaming of things every generation or so because of the stigmas and misconceptions, as if that weren't going to happen to the new.
Maybe because "disease" is more vague than "infection"?
Or because it seems less stigmatizing to say someone is "infected" than to say they are "diseased"? I think there is a general trend away from including "disease" in the official name of illnesses/syndromes/infections/what have you, but I could be fabulating.
39: "No, Doc, fire shoot out my dick."
Wiki...pedia says,
Increasingly, the term sexually transmitted infection (STI) is used, as it has a broader range of meaning; a person may be infected, and may potentially infect others, without showing signs of disease.
Why change from STD to STI? Just to keep people on their toes?
We covered that.
Why change from STD to STI? Just to keep people on their toes?
To emphasize the pathogen, rather than the condition, particularly so that people better understand that it's still a problem even if you're asymptomatic. It's also more somewhat more accurate (e.g., HPV is the infection, but cervical cancer is the disease). Who knows if this change in nomenclature will do anything, but that's the motivation at least.
what level of poor sportsmanship is driving to score with 1 minute left when you are already up 35-7?
First half: you're allowed.
46, sorta: It's all about people getting The Vapors. Thus,
"Is simply that I really don't understand
'bout the guns and the crossfire and the social disease
And when the sun was rising somewhere in the East
And when a flag meant more to Hiro than to me
All the kids in the factory say
My letter from Hiro came too late"
The album is from 1980, but the song is set in 1938, hence the older reference I suppose. It sounds pretty good but it's just backdated. Yeah.
I had a slight flu last week, and it reminded me that one of the first signs of syphillis is "flu-like symptoms." Maybe you get a brief rash on your genitals that clears up in a couple of days, maybe you just get a little fever, but from then on out, you're infectious but asymptomatic for maybe like five years. Then the lesions begin. Ugh, brrr.
Flu-like symptoms are also the first signs of just about every other godawful disease in the book, so of course I spent a while considering all of them.
You want to drive yourself insane, look at a list of early warning symptoms for ovarian cancer sometimes.
55: Hope you didn't forget West Nile! Flu-like symptoms, most people end up asymptomatic but a lucky few get really serious brain diseases.
54: Ah, The Vapors. I still have that album on vinyl.
It strikes me that the Murphy joke, about Syphillis being curable with a shot, is a brief historical anomaly. It was deadly, incurable, and millions had it, before WWII and antibiotics. And now there are resistant strains.
Flu-like symptoms are also the first signs of just about every other godawful disease in the book, so of course I spent a while considering all of them.
"Flu-like symptoms" is also the excuse given for a professional athlete not being on the roster because of vomiting and/or diarrhea. Which are not really flu-like symptoms.
Oh, I'd forgotten West Nile! I'll remember it in my litany of worries for next time. It'll go after Lyme's disease.
Thanks, LB. I'm just going to try to ignore that.
Lyme's is good. Does lupus involve flu-like symptoms? What about lycanthropy? (Bonus for pina coladas at Trader Vic's, I suppose.)
I tend not to get high fevers or vomiting when I'm ill; colds all end up as coughs and 'flus' go straight to my joints and pound on them. I guess it's a quirk of my immune system.
But it does generally make for some interesting trips to the doctor. I'm sure she thinks I'm the world's worst hypochondriac. But I'm not! I do feel like crap! I'm just not running a fever and I'm appearing to be cheerful and put together because going to the doctor counts as an exciting day out where I'm not studying.
62: That list is actually much more definite than others I've seen, which were heavy on words like 'slight abdominal discomfort or feeling of fullness'.
65: "Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only disease you can get yelled at for having. 'Dammit, Otto, you're an alcoholic.' 'Dammit, Otto, you have lupus.' One of these does not fit."
I'm like rhc, learned of herpes pretty late, maybe in college. I am convinced that my HS sex-ed teacher was assigned the class as a punishment. She was uptight, unmarried, forty-fiveish, and known for professing that premarital sex was a sin. What a fate.
My flu-like symptoms usually involve feeling as though I had a fever, but then I take my temperature and realise it's like 97.3. I've never figured out what that one is about. It's not as though I'm incapable of running a fever.
Also leptospirosis. If I've got it right, generally not a big deal but occasionally does major damage before producing symptoms that would necessarily send you to the doctor.
Pina coladas at Trader's Vics actually induce lycanthropy. Zevon got his cause->effect correlation wrong.
My flu-like symptoms usually involve feeling as though I had a fever, but then I take my temperature and realise it's like 97.3. I've never figured out what that one is about. It's not as though I'm incapable of running a fever.
Try taking your temperature when you're not sick. Maybe you do get a fever, but you're a monotreme.
realise it's like 97.3
Self-administered oral temp readings are only sorta accurate. You know what recommendation is coming next.
Self-administered oral temp readings are only sorta accurate. You know what recommendation is coming next.
Anal temperature readings are inaccurate too, if there are too many other things up there.
Anal temperature readings are inaccurate too, if there are too many other things up there.
On the plus side, you can tell when the sausage is done.
71 - I don't know that there's a causative relationship at all; I think Trader Vic's and Mayfair are just the werewolf equivalent of Whole Foods.
She was uptight, unmarried, forty-fiveish, and known for professing that premarital sex was a sin. What a fate
This is negative thinking. What an opportunity for her!
76: One envoy, one thompson gunner (hold the head) to go?
78:
The guy down the hall from me is in charge of the Criminal Justice department here at Swing State Community College. He was talking to a colleague about the gun demonstration he had in class, and all the guns that were brought in. At first I was just trying to tune him out, because of a deep dislike of all things gun.
Then he said, "And we had an original 1928 Thompson Submachine Gun."
And I thought, my god do get a fedora and pin stripe suit with one of those? Can you ride on the side board of an American car with rounded lines on your way to a hit? Too cool!
Looking at pictures on Google, I see that most Tommy Guns don't have those round clips that made them look so cool in the gangster movies. Bummer.
71 - I don't know that there's a causative relationship at all; I think Trader Vic's and Mayfair are just the werewolf equivalent of Whole Foods.
Then lycanthropy would be a contributing factor to being at Trader Vic's, right?
What about having a good tailor?
"What about having a good tailor?"
Ain't that pretty at all.
I was kind of happy to see my neighbor out in the garage showing off what appeared to be a double rifle yesterday. Kind of felt like home, except for the unusual and expensive part (unless it was just a shotgun, which it didn't look like, but I didn't wander over there to find out).
Nothing like a shotgun to ward off VD!
I gather from conversations I've overheard now and then that the guy's into big-time trophy hunting, which is not cool but is consistent with the double rifle thesis.
If double-barrelled, could have been any one of a number of things.
I think the original had the foregrip ahead of the drum magazine; it's what's often shown in historical gangster movies.
The great majority of Thompsons were made during the war with straight magazines and no foregrip. The damn things weigh about nine pounds and are full of machined parts, so they were expensive too.
The Russians made millions of PPShs, their basic submachine gun, which has a drum and wooden stock like the original Tommy.
If double-barrelled, could have been any one of a number of things.
No, I'm pretty sure it was either a rifle or a shotgun. (Actually pretty sure it was a rifle; not close enough to be certain, but the breech looked like too much metal and not enough bore for a shotgun.)
I'm pretty sure it was either a rifle or a shotgun
Could have been both: the "over-and-under" design has fallen out of favor in this age of multiple round magazines, but it still has its adherents.
Stevens used to make the one I saw most often.
What I'm trying to say here is that I know enough to recognize what sort of firearm I was looking at, except that I wasn't close enough to tell for certain that it was a side-by-side double rifle--uncommon, expensive, but not out of the question for a guy who hunts African game and is an heir to large chunks of the area I live in--and not a garden-variety double-barreled shotgun like the sort I grew up around.
It's almost enough to make a guy wish for some emoticons.
Looking at pictures on Google, I see that most Tommy Guns don't have those round clips that made them look so cool in the gangster movies. Bummer.
Auto-Ordnance makes semi auto reproductions. Drum magazines and all. Not cheap, but chock full of awesome.
yeah, but huge drawback to the drums:
you've got to get a much deeper violin-case.
93--
but that's ridiculous. who'd believe that a guy in a pin-stripe and a fedora would play the *french horn*?
was a side-by-side double rifle--uncommon, expensive, but not out of the question for a guy who hunts African game
Those hand built English jobs are neat. For you New Yorkers, Holland and Holland has a showroom out there. Check out the prices.
95's link is an example of the kind of retail industry that has been thriving in the current millennium. I know I'm certainly enjoying this booming economy!
For the man who wants people he shoots in the face to stay shot.
96 - this booming economy s/b preparing for the eventual legalization of hunting poor people.
Trader Vic's is not the same as Trader Joe's. They are two different traders. One trades in late swanky restaurants and the other in yuppie freezer pizzas.
You know, TJ's yuppie freezer pizzas are surprisingly good.
101: it's okay. The frozen pizza eating is a natural reaction to stress; it doesn't necessarily mean she's been injured.
Bespoke weapons? Are people's hands really that different?
Hands, finger length, arm length, etc. There are custom grip makers for handguns that have you trace your hands when you order.
101: I am okay!!!!! I may eat a frozen pizza for dinner and watch a few episodes of Six Feet Under. You'd think with the boys gone I'd actually have something to *do*, but no.
You'd think with the boys gone I'd actually have something to *do*, but no.
Take pictures of the smoke-filled sunset?
It's already dark. I'm BORED. There's no one to yell at.
There's no one to yell at.
There's always your congressman!
It's already dark. I'm BORED.
Crazy talk. That comment was posted smack in the middle of Monday Night Football.
apo, she said she was already bored, not that she wanted to be bored.
103: Bespoke weapons? Are people's hands really that different?
They are indeed.
"My father was slaughtered by a six- fingered man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done. The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart..."
I don't know about weapons, but I have a hell of a time getting boxing gloves that fit.