Re: Turning Out

1

Man, did I not see these coming.

Which is say, "Follow not my precepts, o' believer."


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 3:37 PM
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Facebook has its online social networking evils (to "friend" or not to friend, that is the verb transitive question), but I am grateful to it for helping me feel even less inclined to go to my high school reunion. Now I can satisfy the tiny bit of curiousity and never go back to the high school on top of the hellmouth.

It is always interesting that the goth girl who LOVED the Ballad of the Reading Gaol got born again and teaches elementary school and bible study in Fort Worth; that the guy who was such a ladies' man player turned out to be gay; and it is nice that the consumerist jerk turned out to be a Marxist sociology major doing Peace Corps.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 3:47 PM
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I just recently went to my high school class's twentieth reunion. I was stunned that one could have extrapolated, almost perfectly, from people's personae then to now: the progressive smart kids are urban planners in places like Chapel Hill and Boulder; the jocky but bright hail-fellow-well-met types are "financial planners"; the brooding pricks (myself included), are in academia; and the lovely-to-behold-but-totally-untouchable hotties are now suburban MILFs. I began to wonder if the really depraved souls just stayed away, plotting world conquest in their basements.

More striking, though, than anything else: no surprises. Nobody who was then a stuttering zitface now captaining an industry, no former date-raping jocks now coordinating relief efforts for Oxfam. What's the point of having a reunion if nobody's going to surprise me. I wanted my money back.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 3:55 PM
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and the lovely-to-behold-but-totally-untouchable hotties are now suburban MILFs.

So much pain.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 3:59 PM
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You have no idea. Really, you don't.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:03 PM
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OT:

Man, picture worth a thousand words and all that.

Housing crisis. According to Yahoo that's Antioch, CA.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:04 PM
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3 is a terrific comment.

I'm too lazy to think up anything good to say myself recently, so I just hang around dispensing awesomes! for the good comments.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:05 PM
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I amend my comment--Anmik is right, there are plenty of people who continued on their life path trajectory. The consumerist ones who were declared business majors their first year of college continued in their capitalist ways. The burn outs stay in our home town, and that reminds me that things can stay depressingly the same.

I was half brooding prick and half progressive do-gooder, but most of my high school friends expected me to go with the former and get an MFA or something. I ended up an employment discrimiantion law school academic.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:11 PM
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I was stunned that one could have extrapolated, almost perfectly, from people's personae then to now

My neighbor has been a pre-school teacher for something like 30 years, and she says the same thing is true of the pre-schoolers she used to teach decades ago. That's pretty freaky, if true.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:13 PM
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I could have predicted I'd become a grad school drop out.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:13 PM
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and the lovely-to-behold-but-totally-untouchable hotties are now suburban MILFs

I went to Mrs. Ruprecht's 20th year HS reunion and got this reaction from her classmates. Several of them felt compelled to point out to me that she was the hottest girl in the class and they secretly lusted after her (with the unspoken subtext that it was surprising she ended up with a chump like me, I suppose).


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:23 PM
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it is nice that the consumerist jerk turned out to be a Marxist sociology major doing Peace Corps

Wow. There's something to help your faith in humanity. I expected the progression from high school to mid 20s to go in the opposite direction.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:23 PM
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I began to wonder if the really depraved souls just stayed away, plotting world conquest in their basements.

Data point: my 20-year high school reunion was a couple weekends ago and I didn't go.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:24 PM
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One of the more vocal Republicans in my high school went into the Peace Corps. Last I heard he was looking into becoming a teacher. On the other hand, I went to high school in Berkeley.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:26 PM
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she says the same thing is true of the pre-schoolers she used to teach decades ago

Do people here know about the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment?


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:27 PM
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Of course! But pretend we don't.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:28 PM
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15: You can study a marshmallow, while it's in preschool, and know definitively what it will be when it grows up?


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:28 PM
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Yes, I read a post about it on an academic blog recently.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:35 PM
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Do people here know about the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment?

The pre-school I referenced above actually has a pedagogical philosophy that's very consistent with the results of that experiment (though I doubt that it is explicitly linked to that or any other research). The school disclaims any ambition to teach any academic content, but focuses on socialization: self-control, following directions, cooperating with other children, etc. The theory of this approach is that it makes children more likely to get positive reinforcement in school.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:36 PM
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Wow, 11.2.a would be irritating. "Man, I had the biggest hard on for your wife, when we were in 10th grade..."


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:40 PM
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This is the one that's supposed to show how patient four-year-olds are, right?


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:43 PM
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20: It would depend on what you're into.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:46 PM
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I just got friended on Facebook two days ago by my bestest friend from high school! She's a lesbian living in Berkeley now!


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:46 PM
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self-control, following directions, cooperating with other children, etc.

All the fun of sitting still, paying attention, writing down numbers...


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:51 PM
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In Oliver Twist's preschool, the more successful orphans were the ones who waited before asking for smores.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:52 PM
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Is that a surprise? Or would you have predicted such a thing? Perhaps when you watched her delay gratification -- or not -- with a marshmallow?


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:52 PM
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Sorry, 26 to 23.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:53 PM
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23: "I never would have guessed, when we were in the high school shower, soaping each other up...."


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 4:54 PM
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I was just poking around facebook some more, and came across a woman who reminded me of one sadly illustrative episode from junior high. I saw her notebook on a desk and read [this woman's name] [hearts] [ogged], and at first my heart leapt, because hey, it's someone crushing on me, but then almost immediately I figured that someone had written it on her notebook in order to make fun of her, and that's what I believed until I remembered the incident a few years ago. Yes, such was self-esteem in junior high. In the fullness of my years, I've decided that if someone had been making fun of her, adolescent shame would have forced her to cross it out or, more likely, get a new notebook, which means that she did in fact have a crush on me. I mention this now because googling and a search of our high school alumni database reveals that she represented her home country in the Miss Universe pageant a few years back.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:01 PM
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God, ogged, I think that's the saddest story you've ever told.

Well, except for the cancer.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:03 PM
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I've never gone to any of my high school reunions (20th was a year or so ago) for a variety of reasons, most prominently that I wasn't really friends with many people in my class--most of the folks I associated with were either a year ahead of me or a year behind me. I did however, recently find a group of photos on Flickr from the reunion of the people one year younger than me that was taken by someone who hung out with the same crowd, so all (or most) of the picture are of people I knew well. And I gotta say, damn, those people are old! Totally sucks. One of them who was a very good friend for a while works at the UN, which is kinda cool, another is actor/performer who's been kicking around for a while--I'll never forget seeing several years ago a Wendy's commercial in which he had one line ("Fresh!"). I don't know about many of the people in my class; there was the guy who desperately wanted to be a doctor but got his freak on in college and became a musician (I'm pretty sure that's him playing guitar), and two guys who became lawyers, one idealistic as a kid (mildly scummy lawyer), one cynical (extremely scummy lawyer.) That's about it.

The real prize was the pretentious girl in the year ahead of me who became a Pultizer-winning author. One of my close friends in her class really wanted to be a successful writer, and worked hard at it for a long time; he was not pleased to learn of her award.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:08 PM
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"Pulitzer"


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:09 PM
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The Pultizer is actually much more coveted. Pulitzers are a dime-a-dozen.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:11 PM
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30: No, it's worse than the cancer, because it's still with him.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:12 PM
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The Pultizer is actually much more coveted.

I'll suggest he tell her that at the next reunion.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:13 PM
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When she'll bring a kid who just won his own Pulitzer.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:14 PM
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My high school-to-college boyfriend, the "former love of my life," is now in a PhD program at UPenn--but apparently obsessed with the World of Warcraft and is a big participant in the online gaming community. And he has a lumberjack beard. This is like excessively time-delayed coyote ugly.

This I found out on MySpace, the "trashier" version of Facebook, or so FB elites say.

Cancer is the Godwin's law for sad stories. You can't beat cancer. Although people wear yellow wrist bands all the time in their quest to defeat it.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:15 PM
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Over 42,000 results on google for "Pultizer"; over 10 million for "Pulitzer." The comparative rarity only enhances the prestige.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:19 PM
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29: I misconstrued one considerably less subtle than that from a girl I had been hopelessly in love with for some time. Or at least I think I misconstrued; in hindsight "I love you" probably should have suggested something more than warm friendship. A small dollop of self-esteem turns out to be useful.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:22 PM
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I keep my self-esteem stored in marshmallows, which I never eat. Perhaps that accounts for my self-loathing. Or maybe it's just that I'm a prick. But I do have a shelf filled with Pultizers.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:26 PM
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But I do have a shelf filled with Pultizers.

No need to brag and rub it in, you know.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:31 PM
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We don't want to talk about missed connections. I got an archive full of 'em and when I think about 'em I want to puke marshmallow Pultizers.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:31 PM
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I apparently had a reputation in middle school for being charismatic, but I never socialized much.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:34 PM
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29: I had a similar junior high experience. Some girl who was always really mean to me asked me out in 6th grade. Because she was always mean to me, I thought she was making fun of me--which at the time, unfortunately, wasn't too uncommon. When I told her to quit bothering me or whatever, she was upset. I didn't put two and two together until I ran into her the year after graduating high school (we weren't in the same graduating class or anything like that).


Posted by: gea | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:37 PM
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I assume that when my son (11) tells me which girls he enjoys annoying he really means those are the ones he has crushes on.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:39 PM
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Oh Ogged, 29....and this is only one sadly illustrative episode ? Oh jeez.

Yesterday I thought to Google a big brothery friend of a friend, who used to supply our crowd with pharmaceuticals and talked me down from a bad trip in the most gentlemanlike way, I was grateful ever after. He's cut his hair and lives in NY heading up a United Nations development program to reduce poverty and conserve biodiversity. I'm rediculously pleased with this. I was afraid he'd be in jail.


Posted by: Penny | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:42 PM
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"United Nations development program" "jail"

Six of one, half dozen of the other.


Posted by: anmik | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:47 PM
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this is only one sadly illustrative episode ?

I'm sure there are others, but none burning in my brain right now; certainly no other missed opportunities with future Miss Universe contestants...that I know of....


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:48 PM
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I got a similar story, but even worse, with an Emmy-award winner.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:56 PM
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Pulitzer! Yeah, so a chick I went to hs with whose brain, frankly, I never thought much of, did in fact win the Pulitzer. It bugged the hell out of me when I found out (and yeah I realize that that makes me a bad person).


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 5:58 PM
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I'd love to know what people in high school thought I would end up being, since I've never had any idea myself.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:01 PM
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Wow, 11.2.a would be irritating. "Man, I had the biggest hard on for your wife, when we were in 10th grade..."

Less so than you would imagine. I thought of it as a special case of the general tendency to latch onto whatever salient memory you have of the person in order to make conversation with the person's spouse. When Mrs. Ruprecht went with me to my HS reunion, it was all the guys saying "Knecht and I used to smoke weed together all the time," and the girls saying "You know your husband used to be the biggest dork?"


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:02 PM
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I have a similar story to ogged's and slol's, only she hasn't won any prizes.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:03 PM
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The whole world of opposite-sex dynamics in high-school (or any institutional setting pre-college) is alien to me. The social psychology of interactive dynamics in largish populations of mostly repressed catholic boys holds no secrets, however.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:08 PM
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It's lovely to start the weekend on a note of self-loathing.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:09 PM
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Why just limit oneself to weekend self-loathing, I say.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:11 PM
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Loathe, loathe, flagellate, loathe.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:14 PM
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You could even do 57 and the more canonical version at once.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:17 PM
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A girl that Mrs. Ruprecht went to HS with and loathed was nominated for an Oscar, but didn't win.

According to Mrs. Ruprecht, this girl was an unabashed cocktease who used to play hackysack wearing a miniskirt and no underwear.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:23 PM
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I have only missed connection stories. Hèlas!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:25 PM
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used to play hackysack wearing a miniskirt and no underwear

Women like that make the world a better place.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:25 PM
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Women like that make the world a better place.

I once saw a woman in Holland riding a bicycle with a skirt and no knickers on, and I thought exactly the same thing. Brightened up my whole day.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:31 PM
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The social psychology of interactive dynamics in largish populations of mostly repressed catholic boys holds no secrets, however.

Are you going to take those secrets to your grave, or are you going to spill?

I went to a mixed-sex RC school, with lay teachers, sisters and priests. It had originally been an all-boy school but went co-ed for financial reasons. Some of the priests deeply resented the presence of the girls, because this meant they had to significantly modify their disciplinary techniques. Fr. McPsycho, for example, used to like to slam a boy's head against a locker, but never dared try that on a girl.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:32 PM
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61, 62: Now that's a much nicer way to start the weekend. Tank top, deep armholes, no bra is another nice combination. It's OK to look as long as you don't leer, right?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:34 PM
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62: I could swear that said "Hong Kong", not "Holland", the first time I read it. I think i need a nap.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:37 PM
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My high school crush supreme finally came around to me our junior year. I remember it well. We were in the park together one evening, and she wanted to kiss me; but I refused because I didn't want to cheat on my internet girlfriend.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:45 PM
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Are you going to take those secrets to your grave, or are you going to spill?

I didn't say they were interesting secrets.

And now, fanboi/nerd that I am, I am off to buy my copy of the new version of Mac OS. Bliss it is on this launch day to be alive, but to have a departmental Visa card is very Heaven.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:48 PM
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Doesn't George Babbitt, who had been a radical student demonstrator at Winnemac, encounter a former party-animal classmate of his grown up to be a real-life civil libertarian?

I guess this is an old story in American life.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:50 PM
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w-lfs-n: I have only missed connection stories. Hèlas!

Missed connections suck and are sad enough. I have more of those from college though. There weren't many I wanted to date in high school. Or law school, for that matter, because law school is like high school, only on a bigger hellmouth.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:51 PM
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I could have predicted I'd become a grad school drop out.

Me too!

But I admit already that I'm full of shit and had no idea how college was going to hit me, so ... how things looked in high school?

And Junior High, you people are talking about junior high? Please. They were putting frogs in my hair, because I was the new kid. I crushed in turn on the dark-haired boy who was piano accompanist for the chorus (which I was not in), and the bad boy who teased me in science class.

I never in a million years thought anyone would be acting on any of this. You too could be in a marriage based on whoever you were in junior high. Aaaaaaaagghhhh!!

The following up and ones who got away are more interesting (painful) for college and grad school.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 6:59 PM
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We don't really do high school reunions here, which is probably for the best because I don't really remember any of the people I went to school with (apart from the girl who went on to be my brother's girlfriend and still is) and don't really care about them anymore.

I recreated myself at uni; again when I left uni.


Posted by: Martin Wisse | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 7:05 PM
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66 -- That is the saddest thing I've read today.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 7:09 PM
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She walked with an uncommon grace
Throughout our junior high,
A maid whom there were tons to chase,
And even more to try:

Was voted by a stellar class
Most likely to succeed!
--Bright as a star; whose thoughts, alas
I sadly failed to heed.

She lives renowned, and few could know
That [her name] crushed on me;
But she once wrote a note, and, oh,
The difference to me!


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 7:36 PM
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72: That is the saddest thing I've read today.

I can fix that.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 7:42 PM
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Time elapsed from when I read this post to when I realized the title had nothing to do with ogged's high school classmates turning to prostitution: 42 minutes.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 7:43 PM
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So *now* Sifu shows up, after the twat shaving discussion is long forgotten.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 7:49 PM
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I'm not your shaved genital monkey.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 7:54 PM
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My 10th was kind of fun, though my 20th sucked. I only went because I still live nearby and a few friends asked me to come, and I think I was right that seeing most of these people once every 10 years was a little too often. I suspect that the people I would have most enjoyed talking to had no use whatsoever for the 20th.

I'd say 2/3 turned out the way I'd expected -- your typical upper-middle class group of Chets and suburban MILFs. The ones who surprised *really* surprised. Two girls who spent most of high school smoking out together grew up to be a cop and a DA. The crazy bitch who got knocked up senior year turned out to be a good mother and at least a halfway decent human being. Then there was the mousy little guy who showed up at the 10th a woman. (Jokes about how much balls she had to do that are left as an exercise for the reader.)


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 7:57 PM
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Confession: I didn't really know what a MILF was. I've looked it up before, said, "Oh," and promptly forgotten again.

This is a type? A MILF? It's analogous to a Chet? (Which I also don't really get.)

Is MILF not rather insulting?

Maybe I should just watch more TV?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:06 PM
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"missed connections" supra should have been "missed chances". There is, I suppose, a difference.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:08 PM
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A MILF is a baby mama cougar.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:08 PM
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80: arguably not.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:08 PM
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Arguably.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:10 PM
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I suppose you could just have been looking for long walks, romantic dinners, and meaningful eye contact.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:12 PM
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The turgid explainer, taking a break from document review, says:

Of course MILF is a total objectification. It's a sexually attractive older woman, reduced to that quality for the sake of whatever's being discussed. The desparate housewives represent an illustration of the concept.

Insulting? it's not always meant that way, but see my second.

Or see for yourself. Do a google search for the acronym, with filters off and looking only for pictures.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:12 PM
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It's a sexually attractive older woman

Sexually attractive mom, and "older" not a requirement.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:14 PM
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Or see for yourself. Do a google search for the acronym, with filters off and looking only for pictures.

Does the equal opportunity objectification of older women represent a qualified victory for feminism over the tyranny of traditional notions of beauty and youth? Where is B. when you need her?

[Question not meant in earnest, please don't assail me!]


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:18 PM
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Or see for yourself. Do a google search for the acronym, with filters off and looking only for pictures.

I'd rather not.

Just as I'd rather not investigate the cultural resonance of "cougar," even more so if there's such a thing as a baby mama cougar.

It's all insulting.

Heh. I'd rather hang out with the people who just like each other, and therefore have sex when they agree that it's a good thing overall.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:31 PM
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74: Yikes! But not quite sad in the same way as forgoing a real live girl in order not to cheat on one's internet gf. (And really, good gravy, "this is a you tube moment!" -- it's like a degenerate Will Ferrell character.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:37 PM
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The wikipedia article on Chet is not so informative.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:41 PM
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The wikipedia article on Chet is not so informative

So write your own entry! I'd love to see the disambiguation page for that.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:43 PM
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Here you go.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:45 PM
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But Ben, it is so much more interesting!

We probably have to go to urbandictionary for the other stuff.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:45 PM
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BW: "missed connections" supra should have been "missed chances". There is, I suppose, a difference.

There is a difference.

There was many a lad I walked by or studied next to in college holding that adorably worn copy of (name your favorite book) that sent my heart aflutter. That is sad.

But there were only two missed chances of men I could have been with. That is even sadder.

Missed chances are sad, especially when it's about timing. I've never been a type of girl to cheat on a guy or be the other woman, so it usually ends up that I am "just friends" with my missed chances. I suppose that's not too bad, but one does always wonder.


Posted by: Belle Lettre | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 8:52 PM
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92: The UrbanDictionary explanation doesn't seem to make a Chet analogous to what I understand a MILF to be.

Magpie's comment in 78:

I'd say 2/3 turned out the way I'd expected -- your typical upper-middle class group of Chets and suburban MILFs.

I don't get it. These chets are married to these MILFs or something.

I don't have a big stake in all this, but it does seem to come up time and again. Explain if you like.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:01 PM
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89: I think that should become a general defense: "Sorry I attacked you with a lead pipe, officer... just seemed like it would be a great YouTube moment."


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:03 PM
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The mysteries of Chet


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:06 PM
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Does the equal opportunity objectification of older women represent a qualified victory for feminism over the tyranny of traditional notions of beauty and youth?

Ever heard of the Mommy Makeover? No, that one's still a win for the patriarchy.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:08 PM
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"Chet" is a term of art used by a rosy toed friend of the blog to refer to the sort of guy who does well in financial fields, makes fantastic money, is in general a Master of the Universe, and yet comes off as a slow twit. I assume that's how it is being used.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:09 PM
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Kobe is not a Chet, and would have banged Miss Universe when he had the chance.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:15 PM
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I'm getting Chet confused with Chad, the beau of the Lincoln Park Trixie.


Posted by: ed bowlinger | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:15 PM
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100 is 100!

I once asked out this beautiful, beautiful woman who I worked with and then -- after she said "what the heck, okay!" -- blew her off and shortly afterwards moved to California.

Clever clever me! No wonder I'm in college.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:18 PM
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MILF also stands for Moro-Islamic Liberation Front, a Muslim separatist group in the Phillipines which I think someone should write a sitcom about.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:18 PM
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Kobe is arguably Chet Supreme. And, as regards Ms. Universe, I've done worse (though not as measured by that sort of pedigree).


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:19 PM
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The missed chances that get away are the worst.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:21 PM
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I didn't know Chad and Trixie had names! But I can see how they got them.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:22 PM
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99:

"Chet" is a term of art used by a rosy toed friend of the blog

Oh, well I know that. Jeebus, you guys had me thinking it actually had some wider sense.

There is nothing outside the. Outside the.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:24 PM
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That Chet post is awesome. I do totally know smart, behind-the-scenes financial types. I also know very smart, hail-fellow-well-met tannned financial types. But yeah there are a lot of Chets, aren't there?

God I should totally read the archives one of these days. Maybe just Alameida's posts.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:25 PM
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The missed chances that get away are the worst.

Hold on a minute. How many of you were advising the virgin high school senior to pass up the opportunity with the girl who was into him back in the Ask the Mineshaft Thread?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:26 PM
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109: the Aaaaah GFI faction finally gets its due.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:26 PM
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That Chet post is awesome.

Read DeLong's response to Alameida's bat signal.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:29 PM
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Very good. It's really the instinctual advantage-taking that defines the type.

Also the comments here used to be way more substantive, didn't they? I blame myself.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:37 PM
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Everything used to be better here, Sifu.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:38 PM
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Mister? I didn't even know her!


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:39 PM
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And I was talking about missing chances to have missed chances.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:39 PM
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113: everything used to be better everywhere in the blogosphere. Before that, everything used to be better everywhere on Usenet. Before that, everything used to be better everywhere on BBSes. I know you, intertubes. I have you pegged.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:41 PM
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The proper plural for "BBS", on the other hand, remains a stranger to me.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:43 PM
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113. our penises were larger


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:44 PM
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Before that, everything used to be better everywhere on Usenet.

I experienced a weird moment of Usenet/blogworld barrier crossing last night.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:44 PM
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118: for each other.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:44 PM
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116 does not make 113 any less right.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:45 PM
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URL? Or just a bit more detail?

My archived Usenet trail (google-able if you know my full handle) is deeply embarrassing.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:45 PM
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121: self-similarity implies no value judgment.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:46 PM
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122.1 to 113.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:47 PM
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I'll email you, Tweety, if you give your address.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:47 PM
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You should have it from when I e-mailed you? Otherwise it's available to VIPs like yourself as part of my extended commenter identification.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:49 PM
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I experienced a weird moment of Usenet/blogworld barrier crossing last night.

It happens a lot. There are at least two people who comment here (at least occasionally) whom I recognize from Usenet.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:52 PM
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You should have it from when I e-mailed you?

Right, good point.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:52 PM
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Before that, everything used to be better everywhere on BBSes.

No, BBSes were always BS.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 9:55 PM
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Cougar schmougar. Leopard, bitches!


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 10:13 PM
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Way to kill the blog, Gonerill.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 10:52 PM
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Yeah, Gonerill. Some of us would like the substantiivity to be ongoing, you know.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 10:53 PM
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Substantiïvity


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 10:54 PM
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Anyway, like ben I have only missed chances/connections/etc.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 10:56 PM
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I also just drunkenly facebook-friended some girls I knew in high school.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 10:56 PM
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Teo! I can only imagine how many girls you're driving crazy right now. The deviant art fanbook? You are exactly Leo DeCaprio at 18. Teo DeCaprio. Mark my words.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 10:58 PM
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Leo DeCaprio, of course, constantly got mocked for resembling but in hard to define ways consistently falling short of Leo DiCaprio. Sort of an Unsexy Valley phenomenon.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:00 PM
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Sort of an Unsexy Valley phenomenon.

So awesome.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:01 PM
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I was also Princeton's 250th Anniversary Visiting Professor for Distinguished Teaching. But is that what the laydeez care about? Apparently not.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:05 PM
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You are exactly Leo DeCaprio at 18

Well, maybe at 17.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:13 PM
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I was just about to reference that.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:14 PM
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I'm relieved. I thought someone was just about to cite an upthread reference I'd missed.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:16 PM
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Thanks for making that explicit, everybody.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:18 PM
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Do we know when Leo lost his? He may well have not been the same man at 18 as at 17.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:19 PM
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144 reminds me of a hilariously awful article I read in a little house journal for a Berkeley-based so-called psychic institute about our souls and our life paths and all that jazz. The author really could have done with some philosophy.

The most salient question was probably why I should give two shits about the life plan my soul had chosen for me before I was born, but really it was just a mess through and through. He even involved himself in some totally unnecessary difficulties, for instance by claiming that some souls had more experience in designing life plans than others, so that there'd be a chance that the plan your soul had designed for you would be a totally amateurish job.

Some of the other things in it were genuinely upsetting, like the story by the woman who decided to become a "spiritual midwife" after the midwife she had hired for her own birth wanted to send her to the hospital (home of BAD JUJU) because of possible danger to herself and her child, and that just wasn't the birth she had envisaged, nosirree, and she wanted to prevent anything so awful as medical care from being perpetrated on other mothers.

Most of the rest of it was pitiful reassurances along these lines, an article the reading of which almost made me think Nietzsche was right about everything.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:26 PM
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How on earth did 144 remind you of that?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:29 PM
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I was also Princeton's 250th Anniversary Visiting Professor for Distinguished Teaching

You could find out about your past life. (Via U. Offerings)

http://thebigview.com/pastlife/

I'm told that in my previous life I was a North African woman.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to develop a kind attitude towards people, and to acquire the gift of understanding and compassion.

I'm so screwed.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:29 PM
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Same man at age A as at age B.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:30 PM
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Eb gets it exactly right. Personal identity; my soul and me.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:31 PM
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Damn philosophers.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:33 PM
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I'm no philosopher.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:34 PM
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I wasn't talking about you.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:35 PM
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The thought that I may have lost my virginity at an earlier age than Leonardo DiCaprio is about as meaningful to me as the thought that I "was born somewhere in the territory of modern Bulgaria around the year 1025," and that my "profession was that of a teacher, mathematician or geologist." In other words, far out!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:38 PM
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Speaking of 18-year-olds, btw, I don't think things are going anywhere with the one I've been sort-of-dating. The logistics are just too difficult.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:38 PM
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The thought that I may have lost my virginity at an earlier age than Leonardo DiCaprio is about as meaningful to me as the thought that I "was born somewhere in the territory of modern Bulgaria around the year 1025," and that my "profession was that of a teacher, mathematician or geologist." In other words, far out!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:38 PM
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Oops.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:39 PM
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Damn medieval Bulgarian geologists.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:39 PM
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In my defense, the first time I clicked 'post' got a message that the site wasn't accepting my comment on the grounds that I had placed too many comments in too short a time, which was both an obvious lie and really rude.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:41 PM
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You don't need to defend being Bulgarian in a past life.


Posted by: feldspar | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:44 PM
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The logistics are just too difficult.

She's in Canada?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:45 PM
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Might as well be.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:45 PM
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That sucks. Did you piss off God or something?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:57 PM
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You don't need to defend being Bulgarian in a past life.

Not if I had been, say, Elias Canetti, no. But then I'd be 13 years old at most.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-07 11:58 PM
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Did you piss off God or something?

I sure hope not.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 12:02 AM
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Wasn't there another prospect, Teo?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 12:04 AM
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There are a few other prospects. All is not lost.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 12:11 AM
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Sounds like it's drunken phone call time. "Hey baby..."


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 12:20 AM
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Might as well be.

EmotionallySexually unavailable.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 12:31 AM
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No, physically unavailable. Emotionally/Sexually not a problem.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 12:32 AM
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There was meant to be a line through "Emotionally." But sad story, regardless of adverb.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 12:36 AM
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I checked out the past life thing:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern North New Zealand around the year 375. Your profession was that of a artist, magician or fortune teller.
As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation: Your task is to learn, to love and to trust the universe. You are bound to think, study, reflect, and to develop inner wisdom.

Any other New Zealanders from the 4th century out there.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 5:23 AM
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re: 171

That's particularly amusing since New Zealand wasn't settled by people until about 500-1000 or more years later.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 5:39 AM
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You are exactly Leo DeCaprio at 18

Teo is Arnie Grape? That would explain why he's not getting any.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 6:38 AM
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Me:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Burma around the year 1525. Your profession was that of a seaman, dealer, businessman or broker. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation. The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn determination and persistency. Youd should not allow to let misfortunes take influence on your strong will.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 7:28 AM
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Will, that was mine! Except mine was an Egyptian dude and said something about reading. Well, mine and everyone else's born on 9/11/79.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 7:33 AM
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So people born on 11/13/67 are the same as 9/11/79???

Put another way, I am AWB? Cool.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 7:39 AM
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Are you allowed to sleep with your past-life equivalents or is that banned?


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:06 AM
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Me:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Mexico around the year 725. Your profession was that of a builder of houses, temples and cathedrals. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
You had the mind of a scientist, always seeking new explanations. Your environment often misunderstood you, but respected your knowledge. The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Magic is everywhere around you, even in the most usual, most ordinary situations. Your lesson is to understand this magic and to help other people to see it, too. You are a magician!
Great, I was a fucking Nephite.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:12 AM
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I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern North Japan around the year 1575.

Your profession was that of a teacher, mathematician or geologist. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Such people are always involved with all new. You have always loved changes, especially in art, music, cooking.


The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to learn discretion and moderation and then to teach others to do the same. Your life will be happier if you help those who lack reasoning.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:13 AM
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JM:

But now you get to saw women in half!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:13 AM
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Curious how many of the past lives are women in mostly-male professions. My past-life equivalent is a profoundly bookish 16th-century female Portuguese sailor and/or cobbler.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:14 AM
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I was a watchmaker born "born somewhere in the territory of modern USA South-East around the year 1600". I find that... unlikely.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:19 AM
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My impression is that it usually isn't men who go in for the past life business.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:23 AM
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Yeah, everyone knows watches are made in China.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:23 AM
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Your life will be happier if you help those who lack reasoning.

Cala is meant to be a philosophy professor!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:31 AM
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Mitt Romney just friended you.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:32 AM
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You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Poland around the year 1075. Your profession was that of a digger, undertaker.

Polish gravedigger! (Maybe this is why I think Polish sounds so sexy...?)


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:36 AM
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181: Being the first one of their tribe to succeed in such a male task, too, probably having piercing green eyes and flaming red hair!


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:42 AM
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Maybe this is why I think Polish sounds so sexy...?

Dzien dobry, Blume. Moje imie Ruprecht.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:44 AM
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probably having piercing green eyes and flaming red hair!

Ten-a-penny where I'm from.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:44 AM
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I'm down in Minneapolis with the rest of Unfogged's ultra left fraction (Frowner and Minneapolitan, excluding McManus, who has been expelled for relationshipism).

I have found that Minneapolis is one of the world centers of the puppetry world, though far behind Java and Bali, but that the Minnesota puppetry world is riven with bitter conflict.

We went to a haute-cuisine Polish restaurant / avant-garde theatre, and in fact they did great things with sauerkraut, beets, horseradish, and pirogis. It's recognizably similar to my next-door neighbor's country Polish cuisine.

On topic: one thing I've found in my own little town is that two of the town bums have (estranged) daughters who have gone on to success in the professional world. One of these bums is a very nice guy who doesn't work, and the other was terribly abused in his childhood. It's actually fairly common for people from the less-respected families in Lake Wobegon to do quite well, once they leave. No one here prospers much if they stay.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:45 AM
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73: awesome!

Past lives -- doesn't anybody have a previous incarcnation as a wretched, illiterate, downtrodden serf living in a hut constructed entirely out of dirt? That used to be pretty common.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:50 AM
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189: Doesn't work if I can't hear it.

Actually, come to think of it, the Polish gravedigger thing is even odder. About half the residents of my building in Berlin are Polish, and most of them work for my landlord, who is an undertaker. I can hear them in the courtyard talking about coffins and such in Polish all day long.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:51 AM
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I guess Polish gravedigger qualifies as acceptably wretched.

The family rumor is that my Polish Jewish grandparents remember eating dirt to avoid starvation.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:53 AM
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Blume, don't screw the Polish undertaker. amny of them are undead themselves.

Correction: here is a Wobegonian who succeeded without leaving the area. This woman is the widow of my sister's ex-husband. (Not my sociopath ex-bro-in-law, the other sister).


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:55 AM
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Here.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:56 AM
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"...and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand."
"You ate what?"
"We ate sand."
[pause]
"You ate SAND?"
"That's right!"

Based on a true story, folks!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 8:59 AM
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Crawdad is good. Sand, not so much.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 9:03 AM
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Ow, my stomach lining.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 9:45 AM
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Based on a true story, folks!

That pretitle sequence is the funniest pretitle sequence ever.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 9:47 AM
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doesn't anybody have a previous incarcnation as a wretched, illiterate, downtrodden serf

Yes, but back on the veldt fief those people were outbred by our wealthier and healthier ancestors.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 9:49 AM
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That's particularly amusing since New Zealand wasn't settled by people until about 500-1000 or more years later.

But apparently they were doing a lot of stuff we didn't know about when they got there. I was a banker in New Zealand in 1350. So there you go.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 10:12 AM
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I would have thought Chetship was essential for even wanting to take part in a high school reunion. Hell, all the interesting people I went to school with took great care to avoid meeting anyone from school ever again. And so did I.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 10:14 AM
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It doesn't work if I can't hear it

Damn. I was imagining the Jamie Lee Curtis character in A Fish Called Wanda.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 10:30 AM
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202 -- Due to my magical abilities, surely.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 10:55 AM
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"I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation. You were born somewhere in the territory of modern South Australia around the year 1200. Your profession was that of a trainer or holder of fine animals, such as birds."

Compared to the Native American watchmaker, this sounds positively plausible.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 11:24 AM
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Bird holding was a vital industry in 13th century Australia. If you didn't keep a really good grip on them they'd fly off to New Zealand to hang out with all those fruity artist/magician types.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 11:33 AM
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Great, I was a fucking Nephite.

I went to a Mormon bookstore today. It was awesome.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 1:37 PM
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I was an 18th century Welshman.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-27-07 3:10 PM
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