Re: Spreading The Aioli Love

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You called the police, I hope.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 10:52 AM
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Californians. There's a reason decent people avoid the place.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 10:53 AM
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Those crazy, passionate latinas!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 10:53 AM
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Which one gave you the hug and kiss?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 10:53 AM
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How lovely.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 10:54 AM
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You wore white pants and a colorful scarf?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 10:55 AM
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What else can you wear with a white jacket?


Posted by: feldspar | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 10:57 AM
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I wish there was a place like Whole Foods in my city - all I get is surly sneers from the produce guy. You should go grocery shopping more often.


Posted by: Lucy | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:02 AM
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A puffy hat, checks, and battered oxfords. Keep a thermometer in the pocket and a pen in the sleeve.

You're a chef.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:03 AM
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You should go grocery shopping more often.

This would hardly be possible.

And in response to LB's anti-California bias, I note that I don't think any of the three of us was a real Californian--the women were from Spain and I, as you know, am a citizen of the world.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:07 AM
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8: You should go grocery shopping more often.

Not at Whole Foods, Lucy.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:07 AM
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Ogged is The Milfhunter.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:09 AM
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Was that woman his white whale, apo?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:14 AM
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I love California, so help me. Ogged, you can't pretend that this kind of thing would have happened, even among some cosmopolitans like you folks, in Ioway.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:17 AM
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The daughter said to me, "See, I told you" and gave me a theatrical wink.

And then what did you do?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:18 AM
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True enough, slol; this is the place to be.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:20 AM
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13: The gold doubloon is Ogged's! (If you know what I mean and I think you do.)


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:24 AM
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That she had a wrinkled brow?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:42 AM
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2 is illustrative of what is wrong with the entire north east


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:45 AM
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The gold doubloon is Ogged's!

Or, as Ahab fittingly called it, "this piece of Spanish gold."


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:54 AM
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Everyone pray ogged makes it back from his lunchtime swim. Or that he can find a nice floating coffin to hold onto.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 11:58 AM
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Or that the lifeguard's name is Rachel.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 12:01 PM
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2: I would not have suspected that California would be more like the South than NYC.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 12:02 PM
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In my neighborhood deli, I encounter little old ladies who shop with their minds:

"Young man, I had my eye on that package."
"Lady, I have my hand on that package."
"Young man, I had my eye on it first."
"Lady, I have my hand on it right now."

The little biddy has power over me, so I try to meet power with power by simply ignoring her. As I turn to put the package into my shopping cart, I see her stalking off with it.


Posted by: swampcracker | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 12:06 PM
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"Young man, I had my eye on that package."
"Lady, I have my hand on that package."

Funny, that's how Ogged was hoping the shopping would go.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 12:15 PM
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all I get is surly sneers from the produce guy

The whole foods in my town is the least friendly place I know. People will grimly run you down in the parking lot to get to their wheat grass drink faster. And it's even uglier inside.

This is mostly about the customers, not the workers.


Posted by: spaz | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 12:21 PM
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It seems like there's the possibility for thread convergence here with the Opening Game thread: Is standing and offering a hug an acceptable opening "line"?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 12:55 PM
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Californians. There's a reason decent people avoid the place.

Racist.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:02 PM
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2: I would not have suspected that California would be more like the South than NYC.

The cracker exodus of the middle c20 hit California full force, apo.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:04 PM
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Watch those cracker remarks. I'm very sensitive, ya know.


Posted by: swampcracker | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:07 PM
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There's a cracker accent where I come from.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:08 PM
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Well, I've got a social question that should be easy for me to decide but is proving difficult for me. I'm trying to figure out what to do for Thanksgiving. There are really two options.

My little sister and her boyfriend are spending it with his mother at a vacation cabin in VT. (If I really wanted to, I could go too, but I find her boyfriend awkward and hard to talk to. He is nice and cares about my sister a lot, but being somewhere without independent transportation just doesn't appeal to me.)

My uncle the jerk doesn't like me and has not invited me. He did invite my sister to his daughter's graduation party, but not me. To be fair, I think that he thinks that inviting her to something indicates that I'm invited too, and he has a tendency to plan social engagements at the last minute. He is still a jerk, though, for other reasons.

Option 1. Someone I know from SC is having her father up and is planning a large Southern Thanksgiving. She issued a general invitation to a bunch of people "for all the widows and orphans" and anybody who wanted to get away from their families.

Option 2. Someone I knwo a little bit at church probably knew that I was likely to be unsure of my plans and/or alone on Thanksgiving and invited me to her sister's Thanksgiving. She says that her sister's Thanksgiving has been significantly scaled back to only 10-15 people.

I know the person in option 1 a little bit better (W) than the Option 2 inviter (C), and I probably know a bunch of the people going to W's apartment. I won't know anyone at Option 2's sister's other than Option 2 and her husband. I'd like to get to know C better and really appreciate her invitation. I'd kind of like to branch out away from the people who will be at W's. (I like them a lot; I just need to make more friends.) On the other hand, I can be shy around people who are not like the unfoggedtariat and don't know whether I'd come off well and/or have a good time.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:26 PM
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Come for the turkey sandwich, stay for the mother-daughter sandwich.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:26 PM
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Now I have to go vote, something that I've been putting off because of the rain. I will be back shortly.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:27 PM
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Go for C, for the sake of their party if not your own sake. Our Christmas tends to involve a certain number of waifs and strays, and they really make it much more festive and fun. By having someone there who everyone doesn't know all that well, it makes the event a party again rather than just a family dinner.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:28 PM
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In ten years I'm going to be that woman in white at the sandwich counter. Just wait.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:33 PM
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32. Whatever option you choose, offer to bring a dish, something with turnips.


Posted by: swampcracker | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:35 PM
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Mmm. Half and half turnips and potatoes au gratin is very nice.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:38 PM
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I'd go for the SC friend's waifs and orphans gathering. You can have a fun, festive holiday without any of the family baggage. Also, what LB says.

Of course, it is possible that my perception of how fun this kind of party is might be somewhat skewed.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:40 PM
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Of course, when I say turnips, I mean rutabagas.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:42 PM
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Half and half turnips and potatoes au gratin is very nice.

Say, will there be room for an extra at the Breaths' place for Thanksgiving this year?

The last couple of years we have been invited for Thanksgiving to the home of a dear friend, whom I cherish beyond measure and all to infrequently see. The only problem: he and his wife are total diet and fitness freaks, so their Thanksgiving dinner consists of a low-cal, low-fat version of everything: thin gravy, no butter in the mashed potatoes, etc. Last year they asked me to bring "something with fruit for dessert", so I made my wickedest tarte tatin just to fuck with them.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:45 PM
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Of course, when you say rutabagas, I read rhubarb.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:46 PM
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Of course, when I say turnips, I mean rutabagas.

It's all good. The purple topped ones work well in a 50-50 combo in mashed potatoes. Throw a few braised leeks in, while you're at it, it can't hurt.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:47 PM
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Mmmm, fruit with butter.

I like making applesauce with onions and garlic and butter for Thanksgiving.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:47 PM
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You were very polite about that, as if it were a perfectly reasonable thing to have suggested. Did you actually make the potato-rhubarb gratin, or did it seem like a bad enough idea that you just didn't go there?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:48 PM
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Mostly off topic, but I cannot wait for Thanksgiving! Strays are welcome at my house.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:48 PM
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Redfoxtailshrub better have some good recipes lined up.

I recently read about an avocado salsa that I might try. Yum.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:50 PM
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Funny, I'm trying to find someplace to go for Thanksgiving right now. Why don't more restaurants have special dinners? There should be a law. Where I formerly lived it was easy--most places were open and had special Thanksgiving fare. I've just called pretty much every restaurant in the neighborhood and come up empty. Might be Chinese takeout this year. Cooking is not an option.

And no, I'm not begging for a seat at any of your tables. Just venting.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:54 PM
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I highly recommend a gratin of a mixture of potatoes, parsnips, and celeraic (aka celery root).

We're eating with very good friends who have already claimed or given away every category of food. I don't think they really like my cooking all that much. It makes me sad.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:55 PM
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Did make it. It was sharp and tart. Not awful, but not worth repeating. I figure that you are a usually reliable source, so I probably missed something about savory rhubarb. Which I did. I missed the entire correct vegetable. I'll try again this winter.

Thanksgiving at my Dad's house will include:

Father, maybe his new girlfriend.
Mother and her boyfriend.
Step-mother and her girlfriend.
Siblings and babies.

I can totally wait for Thanksgiving.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:56 PM
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All my relatives this year are either at their in-laws (fair trade - they alternate each year) or in some barren inhospitable place, so my Thanksgiving this year comprises all strays and waifs. Was that rudabaggas? Yes, I invited them too.


Posted by: swampcracker | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:56 PM
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I'm trying to decide if I have enough energy to go to Disneyland for Tgiving, thereby making it a new "tradition."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:57 PM
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I thought lots of restaurants had Thanksgiving feasts. What part of the country are you in Brock?

I generally take any stray that has any connection to me or someone that I know. So come on over. Except Stanley. I don't need any punk rock, bearded crazy banging on my son's congas.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 1:58 PM
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Father, maybe his new girlfriend.
Mother and her boyfriend.
Step-mother and her girlfriend.
Siblings and babies.

Megan, that sounds like a blast. Nothing like a mongrel, mixed up family to keep things interesting. That is exactly what we will be having.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:00 PM
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Why don't more restaurants have special dinners? There should be a law.

One of the old Yankee inns would be a good choice, and you can bring little Brock, Jr. with no fear of feeling out of place. I recommend you check the Wayside Inn or (a little more upscale) the Colonial Inn to see if they are serving a Thanksgiving dinner.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:00 PM
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Eh. It is new enough to be unsettled. Might be a blast in five years, but now it is an influx of strangers that I have to treat like family. Missing: my mom's second husband. Sister's baby daddy may or may not attend. I really should be bringing home lots more radical personalities, just to get some return on the hospitality I've extended to their partners.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:03 PM
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Mmmm, fruit with butter.

With all due modesty and reserve, I make the world's most awesomest tarte tatin. I donated one to a charity auction last year and it fetched 150 bucks.

If I can ever think up an excuse to invite all my pretend internet friends over to chez Ruprecht, I'll prove it to y'all.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:04 PM
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If I can ever think up an excuse to invite all my pretend internet friends over to chez Ruprecht, I'll prove it to y'all.

You should do that. I mean, judging from 55, you're just another effete nor'easterner commenter, and I don't get out there these days now that all my friends have graduated, but dammit, I like hearing descriptions of good dessert.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:09 PM
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I really should be bringing home lots more radical personalities, just to get some return on the hospitality I've extended to their partners.

If that is an invitation, then YES!!!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:10 PM
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Knecht, those places look like they'd do the trick, but walking from my apartment to either Sudbury or Concord would be a real bitch. If I have to get in a car and drive somewhere I may as well just head into Boston.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:11 PM
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Except Stanley. I don't need any punk rock, bearded crazy banging on my son's congas.

How's the boy going to learn, will? You can't shelter him forever.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:14 PM
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effete nor'easterner commenter

Oooh, that cuts me to the core! Just the other day I was recounting how I used to chew tobacco. I think I need to lure gswift into another thread on firearms just to replenish my Red State bona fides.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:14 PM
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60: Making big sad waif-eyes at some acquaintance having a big dinner is totally the way to go. You bring a couple of bottles of wine, don't cook, everyone else at the dinner takes turns holding the baby... can't be beat.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:23 PM
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51. Actually, if any of you have no place to go this Tg, you're invited too.


Posted by: swampcracker | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:23 PM
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Sounds like more fun than my inlaws. (Actually, there's talk of T-giving being at Buck's aunt's, rather than his parents', place, which means much better food. I'm hoping.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:25 PM
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57: You could pretend that you know my uncle, the jerk, who lives in your town, KR. He used to have an insu/rance agency in the 80's and 90's, but that fell apart during his divorce, because his wife's divorce lawyer was too stupid to understand the conditions under which the loan that allowed him to buy another agency would be called. He now advises small banks who want to buy small insurance agencies which they are now able to do following the decline of Glass-Steagall. He probably doesn't respect people in your business, so it might be hard to convince your wife that you actually like him.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:27 PM
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How's the boy going to learn, will? You can't shelter him forever.

Fine. Fine. You can come. Just bring your gf.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:27 PM
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There was a thread about firearms?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:29 PM
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Actually, there's talk of T-giving being at Buck's aunt's, rather than his parents', place, which means much better food. I'm hoping.)

One of the reasons that we usurped Thanksgiving was that my mom overcooks the turkey. She has a deathly fear of salmonella so all chicken or turkey ends up very, very dry.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:30 PM
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66:

sure, sure.....blame the divorce lawyer! I thought we were friends BG?!??!?!!?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:31 PM
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You bring a couple of bottles of wine bottle of booze, don't cook

Serviceable booze is cheaper than good wine, you are less likely to run afoul of your hosts*, and it damn near guarantees that the party won't be boring.

*If your hosts are oenophiles and have carefully selected nice wines, and you show up with a bottle you selected, even if it's not cheap, they might resent the perceived obligation to serve it.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:31 PM
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63: yeah, this sort of plan would work better if I had any friends or acquaintances. At least in theory it would work better; my mother will be in town and she's loony enough that I'm not sure I could bring myself to thrust her on a friend or acquaintance. I don't think even passing the baby around the table would atone.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:32 PM
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Serviceable booze is cheaper than good wine, you are less likely to run afoul of your hosts
Wild Turkey go well with roasted turkey?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:34 PM
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Special dinners in Boston are going to be expensive, because realistically, you're looking at the Ritz (now the Taj whatever), the Park Plaza and the Copley Plaza (now Fairmont something).

When I was little, we often went to the Copley Plaza with my grandmother, though one year someone messed up teh reservation and we spent it at the Park Plaza instead. The Copley Plaza served a multi-course meal and had delicious cranberry sorbet that was great for cleansing the palate. It's probably all gone down hill since. 14 or 15 years ago I was there for Easter--just me and my grandmother--and it was a buffet.

Anyway, that's where my sister ate her first solid food--mashed potatoes and mashed squash.

The big hotels are nice, but parking in the city is still going to be a pain. The Wayside Inn and the Colonial Inn would both be nice. You should check to see whether you can get in, though. They might be all booked up.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:35 PM
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this sort of plan would work better if I had any friends or acquaintances

Brock, man, you're making me cry. If I weren't already going to my friend's house, you and the Landers family would be invited to my place for sure.

Let me put another plug for one of those Yankee inns; they work pretty hard to create the homey feel, and it's guaranteed to feel more Norman Rockwell New Englandy than any place in the city.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:36 PM
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Wild Turkey go well with roasted turkey?

Fuck yeah! And firearms!


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:37 PM
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70: Well, it was really dumb. The lawyer was trying to get more money for his client who'd been a stay-at-home Mom, but the lawyer's actions led to the total pie being less. My uncle is many annoying things, but he has a strong sense that it's important to take care of your family. He would never not pay child support or not make sure that they had everything they needed, but the lawyer decided to put a lien on his assets, I think. It was a long time ago.

will, you sound like a thoughtful and good divorce lawyer. There seem to be a lot of them who are interested in racking up fees rather than getting people through a divorce.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:41 PM
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It isn't really Thanksgiving unless you shoot a shotgun.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:42 PM
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KR, I can appreciate why Brock might feel uncomfortable having his mother over to other people's. His Mom is nearly as nuts as mine. Brock's Mom's got a little bit more flair in the way that she displays her craziness. I mean, showing up at Brock's wedding with a male escort, who was--I think--younger than Brock, is hilarious even as it is excruciatingly painful.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:45 PM
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Don't mind me, I'm just cleaning my gun while the wimmen stuff the turkey.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:48 PM
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You people need to embrace the crazy. Life is far too dull without crazy.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:48 PM
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will, you sound like a thoughtful and good divorce lawyer. There seem to be a lot of them who are interested in racking up fees rather than getting people through a divorce.

Personally, I think the clients are the main problem. A bad divorce lawyer is the one who is not kicking his or her client in the butt and telling them to stop being such a jackass.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:50 PM
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Brock, the loony mother problem is why our new family Thanksgiving tradition is "let's go to Disneyland!" A lot less loony one-on-one time, mom feels included, and all PK notices is "we're having fun!" I'm hoping if we keep this up he'll be at least a teenager before he starts to realize that my relationship with grandma is a little strained....


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:50 PM
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It isn't really Thanksgiving unless you shoot a shotgun.

Then you finally take down the buck that's been hanging in the tree in the front yard since the first day of deer season, you nearly cause a life-threatening accident with the turkey fryer, and you get in a fistfight with your cousin over a disputed penalty call in the Cowboys-Redskins game before finally passing out on the porch swing in the cold after your mother throws you out of the house.

At least, that's the tradition where I come from.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:53 PM
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We are making this year, and all the family under seventy is going somewhere else by coincidence. We'd desperately like to invite someone else, so that we don't have the most geriatric T'giving evah. My wife is astonishly good at making a meal like this.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 2:57 PM
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84: See? Disneyland! Happiest place on earth!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 3:03 PM
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I am still undecided, but I'm leaning toward going to C's sister's. I could probably stop by W's apartment for some pecan pie towards the end of the evening.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 3:05 PM
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See? Disneyland! Happiest place on earth!

Not to leave any false impressions, I never personally experienced anything like 84 at Thanksgiving (though it wouldn't have been unusual at some of the neighbors'). Holidays at our house were pretty fucking Norman Rockwell, except that (as I realized sometime in early adulthood) my mother wasn't a very good cook.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 3:09 PM
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If that is an invitation, then YES!!!

I hope y'all know by now that you already have an invitation to anything I host.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 3:56 PM
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One of these years, I'll have a reason to be on the West Coast for Pie Contest. How have pecan pies historically done?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 3:59 PM
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Nut pies have done well. I remember a beautiful mocha pecan in particular.

Very sweet pies can be disfavored as people get overwhelmed by sugar, but nut pies are strong contenders in general.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 4:01 PM
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84 is making me think of Robert Earl Keen's Merry Christmas from the Family.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 4:04 PM
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Holidays at our house were pretty fucking Norman Rockwell, except that (as I realized sometime in early adulthood) my mother wasn't a very good cook.

See? Totally, totally sexist. Your poor mother, slaving away all damn day over the fucking turkey, and here you are talking about how much *you* enjoyed Thanksgiving and bitching about her cooking *at the same time*.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 4:20 PM
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Tonight I am making a leek "quiche" with a rice crust instead of pastry. We will see how that comes out.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 4:41 PM
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Totally, totally sexist. Your poor mother, slaving away all damn day over the fucking turkey

I'll submit two facts in my defense:

1. I didn't realize she wasn't a good cook at the time, so I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated her cooking.

2. In recent years she has sat on *her* ass on *my* couch while I slaved over the fucking turkey. (And I did it with love.)


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 4:44 PM
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Also, who slaves over the turkey? You hurl it in the oven and it cooks. You slave over side dishes and pie.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 4:45 PM
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You slave over side dishes and pie.

And most of all you slave over gravy, because there's nothing to put the damper on Thanksgiving like bad gravy.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 4:47 PM
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God damn I love Thanksgiving. A secular holiday completely focussed on cooking and eating delicious things. So uncomplicated! So savory! It obviously helps that I like my relatives.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 4:57 PM
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Everybody should try my very special Thanksgiving recipe!


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 4:58 PM
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Huh. There are lots of restaurants in Boston that do great Thanksgiving dinners, especially if someone else is paying. My corner of the family has been going out for a few years now, since the linchpin of our local home-cooked holidays passed away, and it's been a lot of fun. Harvest a couple of times, and Azure was pretty good last year, though less traditional. There's even a page dedicated to the subject.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:04 PM
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Duck is better than turley on Thanksgiving, because it effectively guards against the threat of rabbit starvation.

Mmmmm.... duck. With the skin on; why have duck if you're going to skin it?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:08 PM
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God damn I love Thanksgiving.

That's what I'm sayin', brother. It helps that I was born on Thanksgiving, but still: what a great holiday. And football!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:09 PM
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100: yeah, Nathan, I'm just bitching because (a) no one else is paying and (b) I was hoping to keep it simple and go somewhere in the neighborhood, rather than some fancy place downtown. But I'm thinking fancy place downtown may be the only real option, unfortunately. Which is why they should have a law.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:14 PM
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Everybody should try my very special Thanksgiving recipe!

Oh?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:15 PM
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I'm just bitching because (a) no one else is paying and (b) I was hoping to keep it simple and go somewhere in the neighborhood, rather than some fancy place downtown

I understand that the Salvation Army hosts a simple, no-need-to-pay Thanksgiving dinner for a large number of Boston residents each year. You might want to leave the Rolex at home and rub some soot on little Brock Jr.'s cheeks before you try to sneak in, though.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:17 PM
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101: Rabbits eat duck?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:22 PM
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It's more convience than money, Knecht. Well, and equally as much as that, it's that Brock Jr.'s table manners aren't yet wholly refined, so I feel better taking him to more informal places.

That said, the Salvation Army dinner is not a bad idea. I drop change in the bucket every Christmas; it's about damn time I got something in return for my money.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:27 PM
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it's about damn time I got something in return for my money.

What about all those sweet deals on gently used clothing and electronics?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:30 PM
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I haven't been a big fan of Thanksgiving. It's not really a big deal at my parents' house. The extended family doesn't get along, so it's just my parents and sisters and the occasional friend they bring home.

This year my mother is freaking out a little because she has a son-in-law, which somehow entails she needs to polish the silver we haven't used in ten years.

I made risotto tonight for the very first time, and it turned out excellent, but fuck, I'm not sure how four cups of broth fit into a cup and a half of rice. Laws of thermodynamics: violated!


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:35 PM
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(No one tell Cala about evaporation, k?)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:37 PM
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Dude, I did not boil off two cups of broth.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:38 PM
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Hrm. Italian rice magic?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:40 PM
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I made risotto tonight for the very first time

Aren't you some kind of Italian?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:40 PM
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Rice can absorb a lot of liquid, it's true.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:41 PM
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Yeah, Sicilian on one side, but they all came here and assimilated into Wonder Bread Americans as far as food goes. Fucking assimilation.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:43 PM
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OT, but anyone have suggestions for some "school appropriate" jokes for a 4th grader? Rory's pal wants to try out for emcee of the school talent show and needs to tell jokes for the audition. (I realize "school appropriate" is not the dominant genre in these parts, but I was thinking things along the lines of PKs joke from the other day about Spiderman's biggest nemesis (Batman).) I know this place is teeming with funny -- help a 10 year old out!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:44 PM
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What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine!

Okay, these are more from the six year old age bracket than the ten year old.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:46 PM
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in response to 116


Posted by: CRYPTIC NED | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:47 PM
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117: 10 year old comedienne, but audience ranging from 5-12 (plus younger sibs and parents, so all ages... )


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:49 PM
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What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

This is a favorite of mine! Related:

What's a foot long and slippery?

A slipper!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:50 PM
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116 definitely deserves its own ATM thread.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:50 PM
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What did the fish say when it hit the cement?
DAM!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:51 PM
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How do you get an elephant up a tree?

First, you make him sit on an acorn.

How do you get an elephant down from a tree?

Make him sit on a leaf and wait for fall.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:52 PM
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You don't get down from an elephant, though.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:53 PM
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The "frayed knot" joke was also a favorite of mine around that age.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:54 PM
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No, you get down from a duck.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:54 PM
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Here's a joke I heard from a 4-year-old.

Q: KNOCK-KNOCK
A: Who's there?
Q: BANANA TREEHEAD
A: Banana treehead who?
Q: KNOCK KNOCK
A: Who's there?
Q: BANANA TREEHEAD
A: Banana treehead who?
Q: KNOCK KNOCK
A: Who's there?
Q: BANANA TREEHEAD
A: Banana Treehead who?
Q: KNOCK KNOCK
A: Who's there?
Q: BANANA TREEHEAD
A: Banana Treehead who?
Q: BANANA TREEHEAD BANANA SILLY BANANA TREEHEAD (collapse into laughter)


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:54 PM
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Speaking of which, why do ducks have flat feet?

To stamp out forest fires.

Why do bears have flat feet?

To stamp out burning ducks.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:55 PM
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Ixnay on 118. I've heard that joke told in a racist manner (i.e. it works well if you posit that the interlocutors are speaking Black English Vernacular, as opposed to, say, Glaswegian), it's not unthinkable that one of the teachers has heard it the same way, and presto, it's bad news for Rory.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:55 PM
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There is of course the herring joke. Which Google cannot find, THANK YOU STEV/EN D/EN B/ESTE!


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:57 PM
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So, a three legged dog comes walking slowly into a small Western town. Paces slowly down the main street, looking real mean, and real tough. The three legged dog pushes open the door to the saloon, and walks in. Everyone inside gets quiet, and he walks up to the bar. The bartender says "What can I do for you, pardner?"

And the dog says "I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:58 PM
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What's that in the road? Two feet! A head!


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:58 PM
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Did you hear the joke about the roof?

It's over your head.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 5:59 PM
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You hurl it in the oven and it cooks.

What? First you have to stuff the damn thing, than truss it, and then there's the whole baste-or-not-to-baste, butter-under-the-skin-or-not argument, blah blah. It's a pain in the butt.

My beef with Thanksgiving is that it's such a scripted holiday: you must have this meal, you must gather with your family, blah blah. The meal's not bad, and the leftovers are awesome, but there's really no there there.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:00 PM
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Apparently if you ask how crazy people get through the forest, it turns out that they take the psycho path.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:00 PM
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Why did they put a fence up around the cemetary?

Because people were dying to get in.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:01 PM
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there's really no there there.

whaddya mean? Family and feasting are the two there-est things there are.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:02 PM
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134 sounds like you're opposed to tradition on principle.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:02 PM
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Where do vampires keep their savings?

In a blood bank.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:04 PM
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poetic license


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:06 PM
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Most recent joke I heard told by a child (4 years old):

Q: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

A: "To get to Candy-land and back!"

She was laughing hysterically. I'm not sure it wuold work on an older crowd.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:08 PM
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137, 138: No, really. I mean, the cooking person cooks all day. Everyone else does . . . what? Watch TV? Wow, that makes the day special.

I used to love family holidays at my grandmother's house, mind. But Thanksgiving always seemed mostly boring--the grownups are too busy with the cooking to actually do anything, the kids are supposed to stay out from under foot, meh.

Plus you always end up skipping lunch because the kitchen's all occupied with the turkeying, so paradoxically you spend half the day starving, then pig out. It's just really not all that exciting. The only point to the thing is the leftovers, the gravy, and the stuffing.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:16 PM
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B, you really and truly hate America, we get it.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:17 PM
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What did the chick say to her mother when she saw something she liked at the grocery store?

"Mom, but it's cheap!"


Posted by: Blablajoou | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:18 PM
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No, I bitched just as much about Canadian Thanksgiving, with the added complaint that it was at entirely the wrong time of year. (And I did, in fact, cook a turkey on American Thanksgiving while we lived up there, but usually used Canadian Tgiving to go into the office and get some work done in peace.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:18 PM
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My favorite Thanksgiving meals are the ones when my family decides to have sukiyaki instead of turkey.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:19 PM
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The best Thanksgivings feature the not-cooking people hanging out with each other, eating tasty nibbles and perhaps drinking good beer or good champagne, maybe playing some basketball out back, and flirting. In other words, ideally there will be a fair number of people there who will not be related to each other.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:19 PM
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Plus you always end up skipping lunch because the kitchen's all occupied with the turkeying, so paradoxically you spend half the day starving, then pig out. It's just really not all that exciting. The only point to the thing is the leftovers, the gravy, and the stuffing.

Which is why you eat early. Sheesh. Morning spent cooking, massive meal in the middle of the day, then semi-comatose sprawling about watching football, with occasional grunting efforts at eating more leftovers: could this holiday be more awesome?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:20 PM
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Thanks all! It was a big moment, my first time reading an Unfogged comment thread with Rory. Who posted one of the jokes above...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:21 PM
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Nice to meet you, Blahblajoou.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:22 PM
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147: Dinner parties are awesome. Largely because they don't fall on a prescribed day, and they don't require you to invite family.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:22 PM
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Also most of the things that need to be cooked for Thanksgiving are pretty straightforward, and (especially if people bring things) the effort is not that enormous.

And the food! Turkey! Pumpkin pie! Gravy! All manner of potatos, sweet, scalloped, mashed! Sauerkraut! Hominy!

Mmmm.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:23 PM
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Hominy?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:25 PM
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I also love Thanksgivingy foods. I resent the Thanksgiving presence of football, however, which can (hoping Rory is not here right now) go fuck itself with a Tofurky.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:26 PM
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Sauerkraut!

You ain't from around here, are ya'? Lookee here, Clem. Don't this boy look like some kind of communist queer to you?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:26 PM
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What? Aren't sauerkraut and hominy tradtional Thanksgiving foods for everybody, my ten year old self asks innocently?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:29 PM
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154: Don't worry, rfts. By "reading together," I obviously mean, carefully previewing and adeptly scrolling. And now she's reading for school. (I'd count Unfogged time for her required 20 minutes, but I can't really write that down on the "what you read" sheet, can I?)


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:31 PM
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My b-i-l and s-i-l just moved into their big new house. Two blocks from the beach. He's a chef who enjoys cooking at home. Yeah, Thanksgiving is really going to suck.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:31 PM
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Also, she'd agree with you on the football thing.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:31 PM
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Phew!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:32 PM
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Wow. Blablajoou's first comment, and the pseud passes muster with LB. How many adults here have failed that simple test? Siobhan was really wanting to post a comment the other day, but I'll wait for a slow thread; she's only four.

I love Thanksgiving. Anyone who wants to join me for bourbon in my in-laws' kitchen in Corvallis while I cook, and my wife's family fails to get drunk and neglects to watch television, is welcome.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:32 PM
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Aren't sauerkraut and hominy tradtional Thanksgiving foods for everybody, my ten year old self asks innocently?

Actually, I'd bet that hominy is traditional in the truest since of the word, since the Native Americans did teach the colonists to cook maize with ashes to release niacin, which is more or less what hominy is.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:33 PM
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Sally and Newt are so not allowed here. At all.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:34 PM
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Blablajoou's first comment, and the pseud passes muster with LB.

Do I have to be the one who points out that it's antisemitic?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:35 PM
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164: Don't tell Blablajoou that -- she was talking about converting to judaism at one point last year...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:36 PM
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Thanksgiving has gotten more fun as I've gotten older, largely because now I can buy wine, get drunk with my sisters, and get my mom a little tipsy.

The turkey's the easy part. It's the day before that's usually crazy. The effort's all in the clean-up, which was always delegated to the girls in the household, which meant when shivbunny helped with the dishes last year, my mother gave meaningful looks.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:38 PM
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my mother gave meaningful looks.

What was the meaning, though? "What a helpful young man!" or "you're marrying a girl?!?"?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:44 PM
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The effort's all in the clean-up, which was always delegated to the girls in the household, which meant when shivbunny helped with the dishes last year, my mother gave meaningful looks.

Oh dear god. Mr. B.'s family tradition for all holidays is basically to go crazy with the clean-up on the morning *of* the holiday. So, so awful.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:47 PM
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"What a helpful young man!" or "you're marrying a girl?!?"?

No, I'm guessing it's the "What the fuck kind of daughter did I raise that she lets her husband do the dishes. Have you no shame, girl? After all he does for you?"

My MIL lays this one down on Mrs. Ruprecht all the time.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:49 PM
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My family is big on accomplishing the entire post meal clean up before dessert is served so that, after the food coma has just begun to set in, one is obligated to get up and wash, dry or put away. Were it up to me, I'd leave it for the next day.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:56 PM
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My mother's crazy, but to her credit she's not *that* crazy.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:57 PM
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Then again! I give Mr. B. "that look" when his almost-70-year-old mother runs around washing dishes while the kids sit on their butts in the living room. Even though whenever the kids go help she fusses at them to sit down.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 6:58 PM
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1.) I hate to break it to you, godless heathens (ahem Sifu), but Thanksgiving isn't a purely secular holiday. The Pilgrims certainly didn't think of it that way. They chucked Christmas and Easters and observed Days of Humiliation and celebrated days of Thanksgiving. And often enough churches will have a service on Thanksgiving day. (At least Episcopalians do.)

2.) This doesn't quite count as real roasting, but it's somewhat easier and tastes quite good. Stuff your turkey, then encase it in aluminum foil. Then you basically steam the turkey and uncover it to brown. There's no need to baste at all.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:00 PM
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163: Because there's inappropriate content or because they're not allowed to look behind the Mom mask just yet?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:05 PM
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The Pilgrims certainly didn't think of it that way... And often enough churches will have a service on Thanksgiving day. (At least Episcopalians do.)

Ironically, the Pilgrim fathers had left England to get away from the Episcopalians (more precisely, Anglicans). They'd have to be bummed about having their special holiday coopted by the oppressor.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:06 PM
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163: Both. Way inappropriate content, and me not doing the Mom thing at all.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:08 PM
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176: But if you have that policy, how can you help with the book? (Modern Parenting: from curfews to cock jokes)


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:15 PM
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What did the guitar say to the dairyholic guitar?


WHY AREN'T YOU EATING STRING CHEESE?!!!


Posted by: jalalu9/blablajoouB | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:16 PM
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the Pilgrim fathers had left England to get away from the Episcopalians (more precisely, Anglicans).

Yeah, good point. The Church of England in America is an interesting concept. Though I've been to a couple of Anglican services, I don't think I've ever set foot in an Episcopalian church. How English-y are the rites?


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:16 PM
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I was going to make risotto with butternut squash tonight, but instead I had two eggs and some salami and a delicious apple. Maybe later.

I don't have any thanksgiving plans, which is unfortunate, because it would provide me with a good excuse to finally make an olive oil cake (using my just-purchased copper bowl! got at a used bookstore of all places!) and a pie or three.

My sister made an awesome rutabaga-celeriac puree with tons of cream and brown butter a while back. Yum.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:23 PM
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How English-y are the rites?

There is at least as much diversity within the ECUSA as there is difference between the ECUSA and the Church of England with which it communes. And the same goes for the Church of England in its own right: it goes from highest of high church (Latin Mass, bells & smells, veneration of Mary) to almost, but not quite, happy clappy.

The liturgy is broadly the same, except without the obligatory supplication to protect Elizabeth our Queen. Anglicanism proceeds from the grand compromise that as long as we all mouth the same words in church, we won't get too worked up over what you believe in your heart. So the liturgy throughout the Anglican communion sticks pretty close to the Book of Common Prayer of the Church of England.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:25 PM
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176: Huh. I definitely get, and share, the need to preserve a bit of parental mystique, but I'm not sure I really even believe in the concept of content that's so inappropriate that kids have to be kept strictly away from it. Things may change as we move into the teen years, but so far my kid mostly skips over stuff that's too mature for him when he runs across it.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:26 PM
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a good excuse to finally make an olive oil cake

If you put any Campari on it, please don't tell me about it. *retch*


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:26 PM
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I believe that good Episcopalians exhibit their American freedom by cursing the Queen.

Sauerkraut. Nature's almost perfect food. No cholesterol. No fat. Alcohol and nicotine free. Etc.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:29 PM
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If you put any Campari on it, please don't tell me about it. *retch*

I'm out of Campari. Anyway, Campari isn't seasonally appropriate.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:30 PM
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182: I sort of agree with you in principle, but the flip side is picturing the moment when the little tyke shows up at school armed with cock jokes and explains, "Oh, I learned that on a blog I read with my mom..."


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:31 PM
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186: In our house, the most important principle of childrearing--and childhood, for that matter--is that nothing may be done or said that reflects badly on mom. Beyond that, it's pretty much fair game.

I think my kid is just naturally pretty easy to deal with on interpersonal stuff, but he's pretty good about staying away from saying things that adults will take badly, and among his friends I figure they can more or less sort it out for themselves.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 7:41 PM
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This Thanksgiving will be better than recent ones have been because the Lions and the Cowboys are both having good years.

Belch.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 11- 6-07 9:31 PM
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I am sympathetic to B.PhD's line on Thanksgiving and similar holidays. If we are at home then I do all the celebratory cooking stuff -- which is mildly annoying but we have a small flat and I can just make people gather in the kitchen and keep me company when I want it.

If we go to the Czech-in-laws for Christmas, or indeed any major family meal, it seems like my wife, her sister and her mother spend about 3 days [and I'm not really kidding much about that] cooking and preparing food and then another 4 hours cleaning up after the meal. Sod that. When you see really labour-intensive traditional cookery at work and the sheer amount of female labour that goes into it, it's a wonder that many more men aren't killed in their beds.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 11- 7-07 12:42 AM
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188 was intended to be me at my MCP best.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 11- 7-07 12:52 AM
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For years after moving to the US, I felt something like B did in reverse, that Thanksgiving was at the wrong time of year.

Harvest Festivals, and T'giving employs much of the symbology of same, are earlier in the year in much of the No. Hemisphere, actually closer to Oct. 12. Appropriately enough, Succos often occurs around the time of Canadian T.

No one in my family on either side has ever watched football on Thanksgiving, and cleaning before and cleaning up after were things everybody participated in, from the earliest ages.

Every year it seems there are op-eds about women feeling obligated, desirous and yet inadequate to the task, particularly if they also work long hours and don't usually do much cooking. But I've become aware that in many families women kept everyone else out of the kitchen, particularly when meaningful events were being celebrated. Our families are relatively free of that.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 11- 7-07 1:31 AM
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