Re: Unfogged

1

I have often found it to be the case that there is in actuality quite a bit of assembly required. I heretofore blamed myself, assuming I was just doing it wrong. But your post has led me to enlightenment, and freedom. I'm going to go have a cookie now.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:27 AM
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Inspired by a thread of a couple of weeks ago, I have brownies.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:29 AM
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Next time I'm going for a chewier texture as the recipe I used was too cakey.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:32 AM
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M/tch, are you totally-serious-no-kidding? Because I am totally-serious-no-kidding.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:39 AM
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Do you think it was enlarged to misleadingly suggest that cookies had a larger share in the composition of the aliment than they actually do? That would truly be devilish.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:44 AM
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C'mon now, standpipe. Next you're going to be telling us that the "serving suggestion" isn't a good faith attempt to convey information about the ideal conditions under which to enjoy the product.


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:45 AM
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I would like a brownie.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:45 AM
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8

I also have brownies! I made M/tch's recipe last night, but with coffee instead of with cinnamon.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:48 AM
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9

The cops took my brownies after I tried to tag their ears.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:48 AM
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People, please try to imagine how disturbed you yourselves might be to have the same kind of revelation at the ripe old age of mumble, and have some sympathy.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:50 AM
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10: I'd have more sympathy if I knew what you were talking about. Cookie Crisp?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:53 AM
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4: I was just funning you.

Sadly, funning such a maroon wasn't nearly as fun as the tourist brochure indicated.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:53 AM
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I was referring to two different examples of the same phenomenon: one on packages of store-bought cookies, and the other on cereal boxes.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:55 AM
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7, I usually express this as, 'I would like an unlabeled baked good, such as a chocolate square.'


Posted by: E | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:55 AM
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15

Upon seeeing this title I assumed we had gotten to "comments_10000.html".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 11:59 AM
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16

I would like a Brown E.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:00 PM
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17

texture-fetishists = ribbed for her pleasure?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:03 PM
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18

I've recently been having similar thoughts about our president. If, that is, one defines "texture" sufficiently broadly.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:06 PM
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15: No. It might look like that, but it's just because it was enlarged to show texture. On the secret menu. ATM. Flowbee!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:06 PM
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at the ripe old age of mumble

At a ripe old age, you ought to be thankful for the magnification. Eyesight failing you, oldster? This is what the cereal looks like UP CLOSE.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:06 PM
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21

Honestly, if I up and died right here in comments you all would be like, "Huh? I don't get it."


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:09 PM
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22

Some things can be hard to accept.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:16 PM
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23

Like Diner's Club?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:27 PM
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24

Like ribbed things?


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:31 PM
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24: But it's ribbed for your pleasure, Bave.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:37 PM
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But it's ribbed for your pleasure, Bave.

No it isn't


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:39 PM
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27

#12. It's much more rewarding to fun a macaroon.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:41 PM
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27: Or mack a fun rune.

Or so the druids would have you believe.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:44 PM
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21: Says the boy who cried "semantics".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:57 PM
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30

After all these years, the muscles in my left thumb and forefinger have become hypertrophied from repeatedly hitting command-r; "clarity and sweet reason," however, remain as elusive as ever. How deep and untroubled run my reserves of credulity?


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 12:59 PM
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31

I always disliked the pictures on canned foods or TV dinners or bags of frozen vegetables that show the product in some mouthwatering, tantalizing configuration. In small print it often says "Serving Suggestion" or the like. When I prepared the food it would never look that way no matter how I tried to Serve it. Troubling.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:38 PM
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I'm sure people here are aware that, for instance, glue is used instead of milk in food photography. There are various substitutions and treatments along those lines.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:44 PM
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33

Those pictures merely suggest, "toss out this package of crap and make something better instead." A perfectly good suggestion, in most cases.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:45 PM
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34

You'll get substitutions sometimes, but they aren't allowed on the special.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:46 PM
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35

I have not yet received my brownie.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:48 PM
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36

There are various substitutions and treatments along those lines.

The meat in Burger King commercials is raw and painted with shoe polish to look flame-broiled.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:50 PM
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37

The people in many commercials are made cheerful by being paid money, rather than actually enjoying the product advertised.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:52 PM
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36: That's an SOP, not a substitution.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:53 PM
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38: I believe it still counts as a treatment.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:54 PM
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40

||

Here comes the rain. Luckily this time I made sure to close all the windows first.

|>


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:54 PM
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41

My package is enlarged to show detail. Laydeez.


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:55 PM
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42

I remember reading somewhere that ice cream in ad pictures is made with Crisco and food coloring.

Also, they add dish soap to coffee to make sure there are some bubbles on the surface so it looks freshly brewed.

They're tricksy, these food stylists.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:56 PM
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glue is used instead of milk in food photography

I have heard, though possibly on dubious authority, that cream cheese is used to make the milk 'staches in the "Got Milk?" campaign.

Also, I am given to understand the that the copious quantities of ejaculate depicted in pornographic videos are not necessarily real semen. Even more shockingly, some of the bulbuous female breasts depicted in those same videos are said to be surgically altered.


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 1:59 PM
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44

I remember reading somewhere that ice cream in ad pictures is made with Crisco and food coloring.

Maybe even here.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:06 PM
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45

43: Speaking of milk, I was curious about pp's opinion (assuming he has one) of the DFA after hearing this story yesterday.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:07 PM
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46

||
Did you think July was either extremely hot or extremely cold? Chances are you were right.
|>


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:13 PM
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43: Also, chocolate ice cream.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:13 PM
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45: I had a very low opinion of the DFA before hearing that story, and it was not improved by hearing said story.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:15 PM
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49

||
Holy crap, look at the gap between Bolt and everybody else. I guess it's a terribly unfortunate time to be any other sprinter in the world.
|>


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:15 PM
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45: I don't really have an informed opinion. Or at least my information is apparently out of date. In principle I think marketing cooperatives for dairy products are a very good thing, but that belief is premised on the members getting a fair share of the wholesale profit stream.

Ironically, I found myself talking up the US system to a French dairy farmer not terribly long ago. Alas, I probably misinformed him about the extent to which the cooperatives work to the benefit of the farmers.


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:20 PM
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Is this becoming the all-pause'n'play thread? Okay, then.

||
We're getting a kitten, and the girls wanted to call it 'Jesus', but my wife persuaded them to reconsider. Grr.
|>


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:20 PM
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49: Apparently, bunches of elite sprinters, knowing that, for the next decade or so, they can't win at major international events, are thinking of switching to events other than the 100 or 200.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:21 PM
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46: We traveled from coast to coast in July. It was very confusing.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:22 PM
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51: I can see how it would be annoying for your wife to call the kitten and have you keep showing up, trying to cadge some kibble or swat at the ball of yarn.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:28 PM
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In principle I think marketing cooperatives for dairy products are a very good thing

They are, in principle, but DFA has sold out and is actively harming dairy farmers.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:29 PM
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46: I heard that Austin's July was the hottest on record, though it would seem Texas as a whole wasn't all that hot.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:31 PM
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52: There's always the Raiders.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:32 PM
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58

49, 52: Man, this blog has gone downhill. Okay, I'll start.

Juiced?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:36 PM
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59

58: I'd bet you anything they drink orange juice.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:41 PM
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15: Upon seeeing this title I assumed we had gotten to "comments_10000.html".

The blog's shutting down when we get there, isn't it?


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:42 PM
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Maybe he's really a woman. Check his nads!


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:43 PM
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58: The real question, if you want the blog to flower, is whether the man posing as a woman is actually a man, right? Or whether s/he just has springs attached to her/his legs, right? Anyway, on the lesser of the questions of the day, the idea that a Jamaican is using drugs, in any context, is simply impossible for me to believe.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:44 PM
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63

At least I had a link.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:45 PM
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64

58: they're certainly testing the hell out of him, and it doesn't seem to be producing any warning signs.

Maybe he's made of metal?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:47 PM
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65

In the future, the amber-preserved Unfogged will be a source of endless anthropology papers.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:48 PM
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66

51: Emmanuel, wonderful, counsellor, the mighty God, the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace, that hippie from the wedding the other day: the alternatives suggest themselves.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:49 PM
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66: Or the Spanish option: Jesús.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:50 PM
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68

the idea that a Jamaican is using drugs, in any context, is simply impossible for me to believe.

ari shows Jamaicans MAAAAXImum respect.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:53 PM
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To find out the cat's name, all you have to do is set it on fire and ask it, dummy. Or maybe strike it with your staff.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:54 PM
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67: I'm not sure why, but a common nickname for dudes named Jesús is Chuy (pronounced, basically, "chewy"). That could work for a kitten.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:54 PM
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71

I'll bet y'all didn't know that Han Solo's shipmate was Mexican, huh?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:55 PM
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Tecnicamente (cual palabra debe tener un acento), no se necesita el acento en "Jesus", pero por la claridad, tal vez es aceptable.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:55 PM
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73

71: In hindsight it's obvious.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:55 PM
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74

72: No, you should use the accent if it's the Spanish name.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:58 PM
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46: Looks about right for NM. July was sweltering.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 2:58 PM
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76

"Joshua" wouldn't be a bad name for a kitten.

In unrelated kitten news, snow leopards are cool.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:00 PM
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62: if it makes you feel any better, ari, I got a lot more satisfaction out of pwning you than I did pwning Bill in 31.


Posted by: pain perdu | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:00 PM
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78

74: Nunca habia visto el acento antes.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:01 PM
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66, 70: "We took Jesus to get neutered." "Daddy, Jesus peed on my pillow." "JEEEEE-SUS!" Nowhere near as good with the Spanish pronunciation.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:02 PM
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80

Stanley occupies the heebie seat in this discussion of accents.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:02 PM
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81

79: Racist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:03 PM
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82

You could name the kitten "Ogged (PBUH)".

I think that's pronounced "Oprah".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:04 PM
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83

78: Es que si no se usara el acento se prenunciaría "HEY-soose".


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:04 PM
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84

I hope Standpipe didn't up and die.

Upping and dying is bad for one's texture.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:05 PM
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85

Downing and dying, on the other hand, is great for the texture.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:06 PM
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86

83: A pasar de eso (que sabia) nunca lo habia visto antes.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:07 PM
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86: And, um, you think that's dispositive?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:09 PM
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88

Presumably, since everyone who speaks Spanish knows how to pronounce the name "Jesús," it's not necessarily always written with the accent in a Spanish context. In an English context, however, where it could easily be confused with the English name "Jesus," the accent would be necessary.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:10 PM
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89

Maybe it's because most of the hispanics in America drop the accent.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:10 PM
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90

87: No.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:10 PM
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91

The more I think about it, the more I think it's time for a father-daughter chat. Sweeties, why do you think mama doesn't like Jesus? If I can't work this situation in order to get my way, I'm an utter failure as a parent.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:10 PM
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92

89: They do? How have you established that?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:11 PM
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93

Anecdatum: my first car insurance agent was a Filipino guy named Jesus, without the accent.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:13 PM
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94

93: There sure are a lot of Jesi in your life, Jesus.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:15 PM
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95

I have wondered how James Jesus Angleton pronounced it. Presumably the Spanish way, but who knows?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:15 PM
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92: On thinking about it, what's probably more relevant to my experience is how other people spelled the name.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:17 PM
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97

Lots of Spanish speakers drop accents all the time, so I wouldn't be surprised if PA has seen many instances of "Jesus". Heck, probably "Ramon", too, even though that name properly spelled normally has an accent.

[on preview, paranwnd andrwnd, more or less]


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:18 PM
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95: His mother was Mexican, so probably. His parents met in Mexico while his father, James Hugh Angleton, was a cavalry officer serving under General John Pershing.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:34 PM
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99

71: Han Solo's shipmate was Mexican

Freddy Mercury was Hans Solo's shipmate?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:37 PM
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100

A friend of a friend of mine is named Jose (sans accent), and pronounces it accordingly. I find that odd.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:43 PM
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100: Like "hose"? "Joes"? (You probably mean "Ho'-say".)


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:45 PM
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102

You probably mean "Ho'-say"

Right. The way the rules of Spanish pronunciation would have you pronounce Jose.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:47 PM
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103

100: That is odd. What nationality is Sans Accent?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:48 PM
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104

103: Puerto Rican, I think.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 3:51 PM
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105

66: King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah; Elect of God, Mighty God, Earth's Rightful Ruler.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 5:31 PM
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66: King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah; Elect of God, Mighty God, Earth's Rightful Ruler.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 5:31 PM
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107

Dammit.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 5:32 PM
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108

Elohim. Adonai. Lord of Hosts.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 5:36 PM
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109

The Lamb of God.


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 5:37 PM
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110

Which leads to the suggestion, "Kitty of God", or "Kog".


Posted by: paranoid android | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 5:38 PM
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111

re: 64

A lot of the pundits seem to be saying he's the first guy that tall to really get together sprinting technique that works with that sort of length of limb. Previous conventional wisdom was that you just didn't get 6ft 5 hundred metre runners.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 5:49 PM
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112

From the link in 76, baby pythons are unexpectedly entrancing. (Note: Do not mix with adorable snow leopard kittens.)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 6:11 PM
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112: This is my favorite flickr set ever.

(tiny snake)


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 6:29 PM
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114

Er. Really I meant to link to this, the group, rather than the set.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 6:31 PM
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115

The OP still teases me.

How deep and untroubled run my reserves of credulity?

Not very?

So the idea is that you were convinced that the pictures of cookies on packages of cookies had been enlarged to show texture, and suddenly you realize they aren't (these cookies just have texture, all by themselves). You'd thought the pictures on cereal boxes hadn't been enlarged to show texture, yet they are.

Standpipe, goddammit, this makes no sense! It depends a lot on the cereal and on the cookie (I don't eat packaged cookies enough to stare at the package, so this is not in my purview, but then I'm not a photographer).

Anyway, I thought you were a vegetarian-type healthy eater. Why are you eating Pepperidge Farm or whatever it is?

Also, it's not like we're talking about English muffins here with respect to texture. It haz the nooks'n'crannies, to hold the melted butter!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 6:59 PM
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116

Why avoid the obvious conclusion? Packaged food is death. Also, Brad Penny is death.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 7:09 PM
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117

Pepperidge Farm doesn'tcontain meat.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 7:13 PM
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118

So the idea is

Not quite.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 7:16 PM
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116: We are not saying that to Standpipe. I dunno about this Brad Penny.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 7:19 PM
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118: Well, I figured I didn't have it. Hence my tone.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 7:22 PM
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I did not know until a moment ago that Pepperidge Farm is named after (a farm which is named after) Nyssa sylvatica, the tree also known as black tupelo and blackgum. It (the tree) has terrific fall foliage.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-21-09 7:24 PM
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Enlarged to show texture: what counselor Joe insisted when I asked how come, then he said, texture isn't for seeing, rather, for feeling. But you can see it. Yes, boy, but it's for feeling.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 08-22-09 9:20 AM
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123

95: an-HEL-tOn?


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 08-22-09 10:06 AM
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124

To find out the cat's name, all you have to do is set it on fire and ask it, dummy. Or maybe strike it with your staff.

it's true: never struck a kitty with me staff without which name was given.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 08-22-09 10:12 AM
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