Apostropher lives in Durham, North Carolina with his wife and three kids. He graduated from UNC with a degree in political science, specializing in Soviet and Eastern Bloc governments. Just before he graduated, they all disappeared. This has been a familiar pattern. He now puts that terribly specific knowledge to use as a technical writer in the pharmaceutical industry.
Apostropher believes all the world is a set-up, and his divinely appointed mission is to supply the punchline. Despite this, nobody has taken a swing at him since 1991. That was the same year he last sported a mullet, but he thinks that is purely coincidental.
Apostropher only capitalizes apostropher at the beginning of a sentence. He doesn't care how you capitalize it or if you prepend a definite article, because that isn't really his name and he doesn't take himself remotely seriously. You probably shouldn't either. Also, the apostrophes to which the word apostropher refers are rhetorical, not punctuative.
Apostropher has a deep and abiding love for pork products. All of them.
Apostropher can't imagine what else you'd like to know about him, but for the curious, the archives at apostropher.com stretch back to January 2003 and are chock full of revealing personal information.